MONTH 6
(24–27 weeks)
Baby’s weight: 13 to 19½ pounds (average for girls);
14½ to 21½ pounds (average for boys)
Baby’s height: 24 to 27½ inches (average for girls);
25 to 28½ inches (average for boys)
YOUR BABY
Imagine trying to master consistently hitting a tennis ball over and over, or striking a golf ball, while your arms and legs are constantly changing size and strength every week, and your eyes’ ability to focus keeps changing. Well, that’s what’s been happening to your baby. Eyes, brain, and body continue to undergo dramatic changes in size and efficiency. Adapting is a huge challenge, but one your baby is ready to tackle!
Six-month-old baby
A baby’s brain devotes more territory to vision than to all the other senses combined. By this month, your baby’s ability to zero in on faces and objects and see them in sharp focus has dramatically improved. Vision is extremely complex, and that’s why it’s taken many months to get to this point. You’ll notice that your baby may be paying more attention to light, shadows, and shadings of colors; and she’ll be pondering how things appear large up close and smaller when they’re far away.
Baby body skills
Your baby’s body skills are showing signs of maturing, too. Gross motor skills refer to your baby’s ability to coordinate her large muscles, such as those used for walking and reaching, while fine motor skills refer to her use of the delicate movements of her smaller muscles, such as those used by her fingers when they point or grasp things.
For most of the first half year, your baby couldn’t do much by herself, but now she’s learning how to sit up. (Propping her back against your body or a pillow might help.) Some babies try to form a tripod by leaning forward on their extended arms in an attempt to figure out how to sit up by themselves.
One great advantage of being able to sit up on her own will be that your baby’s arms will be freed to examine her hands. And right now her hands are all about practicing, whether it’s clutching both of them together or using them to rake in toys.
When it comes to reaching for things, your baby’s aim is definitely getting more accurate, and once she gets a hold of something, she’ll try all kinds of experiments with it— examining it, jiggling it, mouthing it, and banging it against something else. As the month progresses, you may begin to see her wrist flexing as she holds the object.
When you’re seated at the table and the baby’s sitting on your lap, she may crane forward to reach for a raisin or other small crumb. She won’t be able to grasp it with her fingers, but will crudely rake it toward herself using her whole hand to try to get it closer. If you clap your hands, she’ll watch you intently and may try to grab your hands when you stop, as if to get you to do more.
Tip
Never give your baby toys small enough to be a choking hazard. If it’s small enough to fall through the cardboard center of a toilet paper roll, keep it out of your baby’s reach.
If you place baby on her tummy and position a toy just out of reach, she may struggle to figure out a way to scoot over to reach it. Her very sensitive, drooly lips give her important feedback about everything’s shape, texture, and flavor.
Once your baby can lift her head while lying on her belly, she will work on using her arms to push off, and with a lot of effort, she may even roll over from back to front. Tummy-to-side rolling usually comes first, with legs and arms being used for momentum. When belly and back muscles are strong enough, she will learn to flip over completely, and will practice doing it over and over. Some babies even get the bright idea of rolling themselves to move from one side of the room to the other.
You and your baby may enjoy playing games together at this stage. When she’s in a standing position, she may do silly bounces up and down, as though to dance her own version of a jig. It helps to make sounds for her. Lifting her by the chest in a facedown position and gently gliding her toward the floor will automatically cause her to extend her arms and legs. The reaction is called the parachute response. Making vrooming noises like an airplane will add to the fun. Lifting her up off the floor so that her palms and knees touch the floor can help her get the feel of what crawling will be like.
YOU
All parents want to believe that they can protect their children by sheer acts of cunning and will. But then comes the rude awakening when your newly mobile baby takes a huge fall and gets hurt. Your baby screams, and you feel remorseful and guilty. You tell yourself you should have anticipated what was going to happen in advance, but you didn’t. You blame yourself that your baby got hurt.
Tip
Grab your camera and put your baby right in the middle of a basket of freshly dried laundry. She’ll love the warmth and throwing socks overboard, and you may get a silly, smiling shot. (For more photo tips, see in 5.Managing Your First Year.)
Add to that the Greek chorus of your relatives that circles in your head and gnaws away at your self-confidence: “If you’d have been more careful, this would never have happened!” “Isn’t she too fat?” (or “Too thin?”) “Shouldn’t she be sleeping through the night by now?” (Or, “Isn’t she sleeping too much?”) “You’re spoiling (or neglecting) that baby.” “Shouldn’t she be eating/ talking/crawling more?”
“Our son’s mental development was way ahead of his physical development. He seemed to know what he wanted to do, but just couldn’t pull it off. He was extremely frustrated and cried all the time, but once he finally got up on his feet, he seemed to feel much better.”
Guilt busters
Accidents and others’ judgments can make you feel guilty and lead to self-blame. Here are some tips for dealing with your guilt and helping you to feel better about yourself and your parenting:
• Trust your child’s resilience. Babies come equipped with remarkable abilities to heal and spring back. What seems like a disaster today may be forgotten a year from now.
• Reframe. If you can’t change the situation, think about ways in which you can reframe it to make it less guilt-ridden. Examples: “I hate leaving my baby with the sitter, but by working I’m providing food and shelter for us.” Or, “I hate leaving my baby in day care, but I will make sure to put time aside when I get home just to focus on her.”
• Reserve a “guilt afternoon.” Instead of wasting a whole week blaming yourself—dedicate, say, Thursday afternoons to looking at your guilt issues. Then postpone self-blaming until then. You may discover that postponing eases your guilt and loosens its grip on you.
• See yourself in court. Imagine that you’re going before a judge and jury and that you are your own lawyer. Examine your defense: You couldn’t help it; you’re doing the best that you can; you’re continuing to be flexible and let your baby lead the way; you breastfed your baby much longer than you expected you would.
• Stop beating yourself up. Sometimes guilt happens when we presume that others are saying bad things about us. Don’t put words in other people’s mouths. If you wonder what they’re thinking about you, ask them, and then deal with it, but refrain from shadowboxing.
• Lower your expectations. You can’t control everything, and your child is a unique person with his own drives, needs, and vulnerabilities. Forgive yourself for your shortfalls and limitations, and forgive your baby, too. You don’t have to be perfect, neither does she. Good enough is good enough.
YOUR BABY
Language and Speech
At this age your baby can hear many more nuances of speech than you probably can. While most English-speaking adults can’t hear the differences between the two “dd” sounds in the Hindi language, your baby is able to tell the difference. A few months from now, though, that ability will fade as she starts to hone in on the sounds that are the most important to her own native tongue.
Tip
Some experts believe that a baby begins to speak according to a timetable that develops before she is born. Just as a baby sits up unassisted, stands up by herself, and takes her first step only when she is ready, no matter how hard you encourage her otherwise, she will speak when she’s developmentally ready, and not one minute earlier.
You are a VIP in your baby’s world, and her language development is tied in to her interactions with you. She responds to you by smiling, laughing, and babbling, and may complain when you leave the room and move out of her eyesight. Sounds have not only become a vehicle for expressing delight, but also for showing her anger and frustration. Even her crying may seem more expressive now and punctuated by inflections, such as the “m-m-m” sound.
“I took our six-month-old out for a walk in his stroller. We encountered another dad with a baby about the same age as mine. The moment our babies made eye contact, they practically exploded with delight—laughing, gesturing, and stretching their arms toward each other as if to hug. The other guy and I couldn’t help but laugh.”
She may start pointing at things or try to follow your pointing finger. She likes listening to your voice and her own. She is also starting to become more sensitive to the nuances of language and expression—and can tell the difference between when you are happy, depressed, or upset. You may find her having positive or negative responses based on your facial expressions or the tone of your voice. If something scary happens, she’ll use you as her gauge for how to react to the situation by turning back to examine your face to see if you’re frightened or smiling.
Learning how to hear language and to communicate is a complex job that takes a long time to master. The wiring for language and speech is now getting established in your baby’s brain. Your six-month-old is gradually becoming more perceptive and able to distinguish sounds.
One of the important skills your baby is learning now is how to recognize which sounds are important and which can be ignored. At this stage, your baby’s brain is likely to decide that most sounds should be given equal attention—whether it’s a person talking, the music of a television commercial, or the siren of a passing fire truck. She may experiment with how bells ring, toys clack, or spoons bang.
Months before now, your baby could tell the difference between similar speech sounds such as “ba,” “pa,” “ra,” and “la.” She’s practicing how to talk, and you will catch her forming her lips into different shapes to see how that changes sounds. She may even try to imitate how you sound. Try talking to your baby in “adult speak” now and watch to see if she listens.
Checking for vision and hearing deficits
Now’s the time to get a diagnosis if you suspect your baby has hearing or vision problems or difficulties in relating to others. Early intervention can make a huge difference!
The areas in your baby’s brain that are responsible for interpreting vision and understanding language and human sound are beginning to develop. A baby with vision problems or hearing deficits during these critical months may be hampered in the perceptual skills critical to reading or learning language later on. Early signs of autism may appear during the first year, and getting professional diagnosis may bring interventions that help your baby develop critical relational skills. (For more about the symptoms of autism and when to be concerned, see in 6. Medical and Safety Guide.)
Signs of potential vision problems: Your baby squints a lot; her eyes don’t appear to work together; she has continuous discharge from her eyes or they appear to have a coating or discoloration; or she resists playing peek-a-boo when either her right or left eye is covered. (Make sure to approach that as a fun game.)
The table contains a list of red flags that may help you to determine if your baby is experiencing a hearing problem, a language delay, or a problem relating to others, as with autism. If you’re concerned that something’s wrong, bring it to your pediatrician’s attention and consider seeking further assessment from a hearing or vision specialist.
Helping baby float off to dreamland
At this age, your baby probably sleeps for 3 to 4 hours at a time, although some babies are restless, light sleepers, and wake up frequently. Your baby doesn’t sleep deeply for 8 hours a night in the same fashion you would (if you only could!). She sleeps a little, wakes up, and sleeps a little more, drifting back and forth between active sleep, quiet sleep, and drowsiness.
She may halfheartedly fuss for a few minutes only to drop back into sleep again when she’s transitioning between one sleep state and another. If you race in after each rousing, then your baby may make you a part of her pattern of settling back down, especially if you reward waking time with picking her up, rocking her, and touching her.
Instead, to help her learn self-soothing for sleep, try gently lowering her back into her crib when she’s still drowsy, or arouse her just enough so that she knows where she is, and then sit beside her and help her find her hand or fist. Pat her rhythmically on her forehead or belly while shushing her or singing a repetitive lullaby to lull her back into sleep. Each night, do a little less patting until she’s mastered going to sleep on her own.
Security blankets
Some babies adopt a comforting blanket, burp rag, stuffed bear, or doll to hold on to. The “lovey” serves as a transition object to ward off loneliness, especially at naptime and bedtime. The downside of security objects is that they get misplaced or stinky after a while, and your child may not want to relinquish it for laundering.