MONTH 11
(44–47 weeks)

Baby’s weight: 17 to 24½ pounds (average for girls);
18 to 26½ pounds (average for boys)
Baby’s height: 27¾ to 31½ inches (average for girls);
27¾ to 31 inches (average for boys)

YOUR BABY

Keep your camcorder charged and on standby so you won’t miss any of the important milestones your baby will be going through this month! (If your baby appears to be lagging behind his peers on any forward moves, his body is probably still working on finishing up his interior wiring and learning to get his muscles to cooperate with what his mind and eyes are telling him to do.)

Eleven-month-old baby

You have to admit that your baby has come a long way since his days as a helpless little bundle. He’s a curious, responsive, and self-aware child now, and he’s also more independent, even though he still relies on your presence and support to serve as an anchor for him.

Your little show-off will respond to nursery rhymes, moving his fingers to the “Eensy Weensy Spider,” pulling hats off, sticking out an arm for a sleeve to help you with dressing him, holding out a foot for shoes, and even doing his own version of peek-a-boo by peering out from underneath a cloth to surprise you.

Your baby may seem desperate to explore anything, especially if it’s off limits. You’re tired of using “no” all the time, and your baby seems almost defiant when you do try to put the brakes on what he’s doing. It could be that he’s heard the word no so many times that it no longer has the same impact. Try changing the command to “please don’t,” and rather than yelling orders across the room to him, move up next to him, stoop down, and gently remove your baby’s hand and distract him with a plaything or something more interesting.

Body bounties

The frontal lobes of your baby’s brain have gradually developed. Along with that comes the arrival of higher mental abilities, such as reasoning, speech, and improved memory. His motor skills are also becoming more refined. For example, your baby has probably mastered the pincer grasp by now and can reach out and grip objects between his thumb and forefinger.

He will carefully pick up his favorite finger foods, but will also still munch on any dust bunnies or small objects found on the floor. He may not be able to build towers with blocks, but he loves knocking them down. Although your baby’s scribbling with a fat crayon won’t bring in enough to pay for finger foods, it’s fine art that deserves a place on the refrigerator. (Just keep the crayon out of your baby’s mouth and stick refrigerator magnets up high, far out of the reach of small, inquisitive hands.)

Your eleven-month-old may enjoy walking around while you hold both his hands, but your bending over can get tiresome after a while. He may try to stand momentarily only to lower himself to a sitting position and choose to crawl, instead. He is probably able to go from lying down to sitting on his own, and some babies are learning to crawl, squat, or take their first, tentative steps this month. (Most babies take their earliest strides on tiptoe with their feet turned outward.)

 

“Getting free hugs and slimy kisses from our baby when we asked for them was a great joy at this stage.”

A baby at this stage may be quite a handful. He may demand to follow you everywhere you go—to the bathroom, to the kitchen, to get the mail—and leaving the little explorer alone for even a minute might spell disaster. He may complain vociferously about being confined to a stroller, a car seat, or a play yard and may try to get himself out by wriggling or climbing. Wherever you go, tote a collection of hand toys, small books, or a small container of soft cereal to provide temporary distraction.

The other side of the coin is his willingness to “share” his prized toy with you. But he may be unwilling to completely let it go or immediately demand it back again.

YOU

Even though your baby is ready to graduate to toddlerhood, and he doesn’t need you in the same dependent way that he did when he was born—or even a few months ago—he still needs you to protect him and serve as his anchor. Babies at this stage will wander away from their parents but suddenly stop and look back over their shoulders just to make sure that you’re still there and “holding down the fort.”

Your baby is naturally beginning to separate from you, and you surprise yourself with feelings of anger at his seeming defiance. You may even have the urge to throw a tantrum yourself once in a while.

You’re experiencing a push-and-pull situation. It’s a struggle between your deepening attachment to your baby, your awareness of how important your baby has become to you in your life, and your strong drive to return to being your own person again. Your life has changed dramatically, and there’s no turning back.

If you’re a stay-at-home mom or dad, then joining a playgroup may be the answer for giving you something to look forward to and getting the two of you out of the house. It’s best that the babies be all about the same age, since older babies may be rougher and bite or hit to get their way. (For more about starting playgroups, see of 5. Managing Your First Year.)

Sleep challenges

One of the small luxuries of raising a baby is naptime: Everything goes still in the house, and you can use that time to catch up on a little R&R for yourself. But lots of babies this age may begin to resist being put down, and naptime can be a hassle.

If your baby’s cheerful in the afternoon, he may not need his afternoon nap any longer, but if he seems restless after lunch or has trouble focusing, he may still need to conk out. Even if he doesn’t nap, setting aside a regular quiet time for him to listen to soothing music, or reading him a story, may help him last until bedtime.

You may discover that your baby will nap better in a different place besides his crib in the daytime, and will go off to sleep better at night when he’s not too stimulated and tired from pushing too hard during the day.

  Tip

Babies thrive on predictability. Try to maintain an orderly sequence in your baby’s day, including weekends. Nurse in the same place each morning; have regular times for naps; play out in the sunshine; repeat the same silly games during diaper changes; have a bath ritual; share Pat the Bunny; and then put on the same CD of lullaby music each evening to signal bedtime.

Even though you’ve got the crib’s mattress in the lowest position, your baby may attempt to climb out, especially if he’s highly active and big. Take all the toys out to keep them from being used as a stepstool. A plywood board between the springs and the mattress can help to dampen the springiness so the crib can’t be used like a trampoline.

A headfirst fall from the crib could be dangerous to your climbing baby, but he may not be ready yet for a toddler bed. Place firm pillows beside the crib to soften the blow, and consider installing a crib net—a mesh tent— to keep him restrained. Be sure it’s fastened down well so it doesn’t pose a strangulation danger.

Dealing with separation showdowns

Your baby is attached to you and you make his world feel safe and secure. When you leave to go out, it’s normal for him to protest and cry about it. Here’s some help for easing separation anxiety:

• Do practice runs. Try leaving your baby for just 10 minutes and then coming back. Next time, leave for a little longer and then return. It will help your baby to get used to the concept that when you go away, you also come back.

• Plan ahead. To make your bye-byes more tolerable, ask that the babysitter arrive at least 30 minutes before you plan to leave so that your baby has time to adjust to him or her while you’re still around.

• Be low key. When you leave, be matter-of-fact about it, and don’t prolong the agony with long and emotional farewells. Just give a quick kiss and get yourself out the door.

• Call to reassure yourself. Check in later to see how your baby’s doing.

• Recognize baby differences. As with everything else, babies react differently to separation. Even though it may appear that your baby is going to cry the whole time you’re gone, most babies stop crying and move on within 10 minutes, but some babies remain genuinely upset about their parents’ departure.

• Things will change. Your baby will outgrow separation anxiety, but it may take a few more months.

Emerging language skills

Earlier this year you learned to speak Motherese. Now you’re beginning to overhear Babyese, wonderful riffs of babbling that sound like a real language, but just not yours. It’s all laying down the pathways for real language fluency, something that, remarkably, most babies achieve by their second year.

Your baby may also be able to respond to simple yes and no questions, and to commands like “Give me the cup,” or requests to show you where their mouths and noses are. You can set a good example by being polite and offering please and thank you with your interractions.

Keep promoting verbal skills by counting stairs as you climb, and naming fruits, colors, and items at the grocery store. Read picture books about zoo animals and everyday playthings and have him point to them. Give him simple options about what shirt to put on, or which toy to pull down for play. Letting your child make simple this-or-that choices will strengthen his sense of self-esteem.

 

“All that mothering— nursing, rocking, diapering, bathing, and playing—that I did for my child. And what was her first word? ‘Dada!’ ”