Chapter Seventeen

After a light breakfast, I went for a run. I’d slept well and felt I needed the exercise so I’d run along the coastline, chased occasionally by a stray dog and a few giggling children out with their dad. Crescent City was such a lovely place to live with its rocky beaches and bay populated by pleasure boats and fishing rigs. In the nearby mountains, redwood forests transported you back in time to ancient days when dinosaurs roamed the western states. Crisscrossed by rivers and valleys, brown hills and green parks, flower gardens and sand dunes, Crescent City was the perfect place for a population with eclectic tastes.

A drawback for some was the weather. Temperatures were cooler compared to most of the other California coastline cities and it rained—a lot. And then there was the fog, which rolled in occasionally and smothered the community with a cool, damp chokehold. The weather never bothered me and the shifter/werewolf community seemed to like the cooler climes, probably because lush forests covered so much of the nearby terrain. It was prime hunting ground. Vampires adapted to any environment, as long as there was blood nearby, and the fae resided in their lovely Faerie dimension and weren't concerned with how we chose to live. I felt at home here with my mate and my friends and wouldn’t want to live anywhere else.

When I got close to home, I decided to materialize behind a tree so Liam and Samson wouldn’t notice me as they trained together on the patio. He was working on hand signals: stay, sit, come, speak, etc.… Samson was getting them right every time and Liam looked like a very proud parent.

“We both know you’re there.” He smiled in my direction. “We smell your cheetah. Traveling the lines comes easy to you, I see.”

“Easy? It definitely wasn’t easy at first.” I must have looked annoyed as I thought back to the first excruciating pain of immersing myself in the burning magic of the lines, all the while pressured to learn the skill before Kennett returned to torture me. In the end, I hadn't learned quickly enough to avoid the torture, but the lines had helped me escape and probably saved my life.

“Jacqueline, I know what you went through.” Liam’s voice was soft and warm but I turned away, too embarrassed to look at him. He sent Samson back to the house, closing the door behind him. “Let’s walk.”

We struck off into the woods, walking silently along a familiar path. He took my hand and we were instantly on a low hill overlooking the sea. It wasn’t my imaginary cliff, a mental vision I used to focus my powers and find peace, sometimes with Garrett by my side. It was a real place I remembered passing on my way north into the mountains. There was a narrow trail that led down to the beach so we followed it to the bottom, Liam leading the way. We crawled onto an outcropping of rock, taking our shoes off and letting our feet dangle in the salty spray.

I decided to forge ahead rather than waste time on small talk. “Did I ever thank you for what you did? I’m sure it was horrible for you.”

“As your friend, it was hard to see what he did to you and be unable to help. It was harder for me because he is my half uncle, a member of my own race. It’s amazing you can trust any of us.”

“Most of the fae I've met are nothing like Kennet.”

“I wish that were true. We in our Cascade Sidhe work very hard not to be like the reptiles we left behind at court.” He looked at me again. “Did you feel me there with you?”

“Yes. A part of me knew you were protecting me, so even though everything was the same, even the pain, I knew I'd be safe in the end. Since I’ve been back, I’ve wondered so often what it was like for you.”

He took off his shirt and laid back in the sunshine, stretching out on the smooth rock in a very human way, staring at the clouds drifting overhead on this unusually warm July day in Northern California. I crossed my legs into a pretzel and turned toward him, eager to listen. “It was extreme, but in the end, I suppose, cathartic. I was almost overwhelmed by the intensity of your feelings and thoughts and, because I’d left my own ego behind, as I’d intended, I could only travel with you and not influence your actions in any way. So I sent you suggestions to calm your mind and keep it from sustaining the trauma a second time.”

He grinned. “Some of what I saw was actually entertaining. The way you dealt with Isaiah was extraordinary. You stood up to a demon and bargained your way to freedom. Your mind was always working on finding a way out. You never sat back and accepted your fate.” His words were reassuring and most of my tension floated away with the breeze off the sea.

“When I decided to go on this journey with you, I thought I would be your primary anchor to reality. That through me you would know your friends and your mate continued to support you no matter what happened with Kennet. But you already had your anchor and he never left you, not even during the height of the torture. He may have been hidden in your subconscious, but you could call him up to comfort you, and you did, often. Feeling the power of your love for each other firsthand was the wake-up call I needed.”

He sighed, a long slow breath. “I’ve given up my indulgent little fantasy, which you and Garrett have been kind enough to ignore. You’ve trusted me, which is no small thing for a fae. We are as aliens to most supernatural groups, a nation to be feared and avoided.”

He sat up to look me directly in the eye. “You trusted me to keep my honor intact and never do anything to destroy our friendship or our alliance, but I don’t want secrets between us. There were times—moments in the past—when I thought about taking you with me to Faerie. But then I would have lost your trust and friendship, not to mention my honor. We both would have been completely miserable.” He shook his head and sighed. “I’ve been a fool.”

“Liam…”

He held up a hand. “You’re the one person in my life who understands what it means to be a warrior and a healer both. I'm no longer alone with this burden. Garrett is like a brother, as close as Aedus is to me. To betray your trust would have been worse than anything Kennet did to you.

“My only excuse is that I grew up fae. My people do not think the same way regarding other races, especially when it comes to our species' survival. Throughout the centuries, we've taken whatever and whoever we needed. I grew up believing this was normal. What Kennet proposed was only against the law because you are an ally, and therefore off limits.”

I stopped him from continuing by squeezing his hand. “I've never once felt I was in danger around you. You've never even flirted with me. Have you seen how Sasha behaves?” We laughed, cutting through some of the tension. I knew what this confession had cost him, so I reached out to him with my heart. “I feel the same connection with you, and like it or not, I’ll still be bending your ear when I need advice.”

“I'll be peeved if you don't.” He smiled so charmingly, his amazing purple eyes sparkling in the golden sunshine, his features even more handsome than usual as we enjoyed an afternoon away from the stress of our hectic lives. I did remember times when I’d wondered if his feelings toward me were more than he’d let on. He’d kissed me once to share his magic and I remembered him loaning me his dagger when I fought Antoine. He’d had to tie his belt around my waist, bringing us very close. But he’d told me then he’d never do anything to come between Garrett and me and I’d believed him. Liam and I didn’t lie to each other.

As I watched him watching me, probably wondering how I'd take this confession of his, I realized we both knew the truth. I could have loved this male and been happy with him, but I was fated to give my love and my heart to Garrett. Liam had so many of the same qualities that I loved in my mate, which was why I valued his friendship so deeply.

We smiled at each other in understanding, accepting that today, sitting together on this sunny ledge, the truth of what might have been would be put aside forever.

He stared at the horizon where the sun was starting to sink lower, a hint of pink and gold tinting the sky. “I’m rededicating myself to my relationship with Kellaine. I’ve loved her for centuries, my lovely redhead as you referred to her. We were chosen for each other by the Council Elders for political reasons. The human in me balked at the idea of not choosing my own mate, and yet, I do love her. I’ve tried many times to convince myself it can’t work as a permanent bond because I didn’t choose her for myself. I’ve been acting like an idiot around her for five hundred years and she’s been extremely patient with me.” He clasped my hand and smiled. “I hope I can be her anchor, the way Garrett is yours.”

“From the way she looks at you, I’d say you already are.”

He placed his hands behind his head and looked up at the clouds. “Did you know my father kidnapped my mother and took her to Faerie against her will?”

“What? No, I didn’t. But Lady Erin seems so happy.” I must have sounded shocked because he grinned at me.

“She’s very happy. She loves him wholeheartedly as he does her, but at first, she was terribly unhappy. Her young husband had died tragically in a fishing boat accident only a few months before, and her parents had died when she was a young child, so she was a perfect candidate for a human wife. My father didn’t mistreat her in any way other than forbidding her to leave Faerie or contact anyone in the human world. She was given luxurious accommodations and anything she could ask for was hers.”

“I can see why he chose her. She is very lovely and very different from Lady Silvus. I don’t mean to say that Lady Silvus isn't beautiful, she is, but she…”

“Yes, she is reserved, as are most fae ladies of her age. They are trained to be so. My father loves them both with all his heart. He wooed my mother with tender care and after a short while she grew to love him deeply. Vampires have their glamour and sometimes their seductive powers, but the fae have powerful magic that can work exactly the same way. Kidnapping a human female to produce a child is not against the fae laws, although we will not force a woman to bed us. We simply use our magic to make them want to stay with us, and somehow we justify this as being in their best interest. It doesn’t happen often, but it does happen. Over fifteen hundred years ago my father wanted another child and my stepmother couldn’t give him one, so he went on a quest to find a human whom he could love. The fae are used to getting what they want, even if it means stepping on the toes of another race. This is our way and we make no excuses.”

“Kennet kidnapped me.”

“Kidnapping an ally is very definitely against our laws. And he tortured you.”

“My grandmother has many consorts. I don’t envy them.”

“I'm not surprised. Females are dominant in the Demon Realm. And I'm sure her consorts are faithful only to her. At least if they want to live long lives.”

“You have a queen.”

“Yes, and she is our supreme ruler, but we at Cascade choose to live differently than the fae at court, following the laws set by our council. Kennet disagreed with many of our laws.”

Mentioning Kennet and the kidnapping brought up some tough memories, so I turned away.

“What is it?” Liam read me too easily.

I thought again about what he must have witnessed. “You saw me at my worst.” I twisted away even farther, but he grabbed my shoulder and turned me back toward him.

“I don’t know what you mean by your worst. Do you mean your weakest, because I feel that I saw you at your strongest. You never stopped fighting him, or planning your escape. You could have crawled under the covers or just given him what he wanted and none of us would have blamed you. You remained true to your nature even under the most extreme circumstances.” He laughed. “Your worst.” He shook his head.

“My body wanted him,” I blurted out, sickened by the memory..

“He glamoured you, Influenced you just like a vampire, only it was your body who listened and not your mind. None of it was your fault. You stayed so strong, even after the torture and the rapes, you were still centered.”

I lifted my gaze to stare at him with horror, then scooted away as if that could erase what he'd said. My voice croaked out, “I don’t—I don’t remember him raping me.” I shuddered. It was suddenly so cold. I rubbed my arms.

He draped his cast off shirt around me. “You don’t…” I shook my head, my eyes filling with tears. “You were drifting in and out of consciousness after the beatings.”

“H…how…how many?”

“Twice.”

I jumped up and started pacing, my heart racing in my chest. “He told Garrett he had me, but I thought he was probably bullshitting us, because I didn’t remember anything.” Bile rose in my throat so I ran to the nearby bushes and retched.

Liam held me as I emptied my belly, pulling my hair back and whispering. “Jackie, I’m sorry. I thought you realized. I’ve sent to Garrett and he’s on his way.”

The moment the words were out of his mouth Garrett was holding me. “What’s wrong, my angel? Are you ill?”

Liam spoke, his distress for me apparent. “This is my fault. I told her about something that happened while she was a prisoner that she—she didn’t know. She didn't remember...”

“What happened?” He turned from Liam to stare at me, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t tell him. I wiped my mouth with my sleeve and slumped, no longer able to hold myself up. Garrett lifted me to a standing position, holding me against him.

Liam looked at me for a sign. He wouldn’t tell Garrett unless I said it was okay. I nodded, burying my face against my mate’s neck, finding comfort in his scent and the gentle way he cradled me in his arms.

“She was raped by Kennet when she was unconscious from her torture. Both times.”

I pulled away quickly to look at Garrett’s face, wanting to see, but afraid of his reaction. The shock was obvious but fleeting. He pulled me closer and kissed my head, then started to murmur to me in French.

Liam backed away. “I’ll be back at the house if you need me. I’m so sorry I told you in that careless way, I should have known.”

“Wait, please.” He turned toward me. “Could I be pregnant? It would have been early, but…” I realized with an icy chill that my period was late.

Liam hesitated, unsure of how to put into words something else that would upset me. He nodded. “Yes. Kennet might know how to speed up ovulation. My father knows how to do it.”

“Oh god.” My knees gave out but Garrett held me tighter, supporting almost all of my weight. After a few moments I managed to regain my balance. “Take me into town. I need a pregnancy test. If it’s positive, I’m getting an abortion as soon as I can.”

Garrett nodded slowly and brushed the hair out of my eyes. Liam was standing about fifteen feet away and his face—well, he was devastated. I’d just said I was going to kill a fae child, the most rare, most precious gift to bless the fae people. I couldn’t look at him. I buried my face in Garrett’s chest and groaned, shuddering with the agony of the decision I’d have to make if the test was positive.

After a few moments, I pulled myself back together, because falling apart wouldn’t help anyone. “Could you take me, Liam? I can’t concentrate enough to get myself there and Garrett can’t take someone with him. I’ll end up in the middle of the Pacific.”

“Of course.” He looked terribly concerned as he took my hand and we materialized in a wooded area behind the pharmacy. Garrett went inside while I sat on the grass with Liam. We didn’t speak, but tension pulsed between us. He would be obligated to tell his father and there would be a delegation to get me to change my mind. I'd been around the fae enough to know that this was a very serious situation. If I had an abortion, I’d probably be considered a murderer. But I’d been raped. They’d have to understand.

I forced myself to relax my shoulders and tried to think things through. In my heart, I knew that a quick decision wasn't smart. “Liam, I’m upset. I’m not thinking straight right now. I’m not going to do anything tonight or tomorrow. I promise. First, I need to find out if I’m pregnant.”

“I'm so sorry. I should never have spoken so carelessly.”

“No, I’m glad you told me, because finding out from anyone else would have been so much worse.” Without looking at him I stretched out my hand and he immediately took it in his while we sat there and waited for Garrett.

I thought back to how I’d felt this past week. I was eating like a starving person, my breasts were sore, my stomach was churning and I was tired much more often than normal. I'd been so busy with the craziness at Los Altos that I'd forgotten to check the calendar. I groaned quietly. Why hadn’t I put two and two together? But then I hadn’t known Kennet had carried through with his plan.

Ten minutes later we were back at the house and I was in the bathroom. Garrett waited on the bed with the bedroom door closed while Liam sat in the kitchen, ready, I was sure, to broadcast the news to all of Faerie if it was positive. When I finished, I sat next to Garrett on the bed and we looked together at the test. There was the plus sign, glaring at me like some evil sigil. He’d gotten three tests, different brands, but the answer was always the same.

I slumped, no longer able to pretend that everything was fine or would ever be so again. I allowed myself to cry, as my lover held me tightly against him, my head nestled in the hollow beneath his shoulder. He whispered to me in two languages that I could count on his strength, as always.

I couldn't look at him. “I think I remember bits of it now. He touched me with his hands and his mouth and...” More sobs wracked my body as Garrett kissed my hair and rubbed my back, rocking me gently like a child. “How could I have blacked out what happened—him touching me like that? Why didn't I fight him?”

“You were injured so badly your brain protected you. You may not have survived if you'd fought against him.”

“Bridgett didn't feel it either.”

“You must have protected her, too.”

I pushed away from him suddenly and stood up, still not able to look him in the eye. “I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.” I swayed and collapsed to my knees, sobbing and clutching at my stomach as if I could wrench the offending being out by my hands alone. This was a betrayal of our mating bond. Garrett would leave me now. But a moment later, he was scooping me up and sitting again on the bed with me cradled gently in his lap.

He kissed my tears away, then handed me a few tissues to deal with my nose. When I finished blowing he said, “Jacqueline, please look at me.” I lifted my reddened eyes to stare into his very concerned blue ones. “You've-done-nothing-wrong. You fought him with every breath. Je t'adore. I should be the one apologizing. I told you to give yourself to him, so you wouldn't be hurt, but I see now that doing so would have injured you even more. You're my courageous, perfect mate. Nothing that Kennet did will ever affect how much I love you.”

The rape wasn't the only surprise. “The baby...”

“I’ll support any decision you make. I'll love the child as my own if that were your choice or I’ll find the best doctor to end the pregnancy. My only concern is that the decision must be made soon if the baby is gestating as the fae children do.”

I took a deep breath and with a violent shudder, tried to release some of my tension back into the universe. I'd cried long enough. Now I would keep my head and not fall apart. “I said I wanted an abortion, but I don’t know if I can bring myself to do it. Did you see Liam’s face? He’ll have to tell his father. It’s going to turn into this huge diplomatic event. They’ll try to convince me to keep it and if I do choose to have the abortion, the fae will say that I…” I couldn’t continue. He pulled me in tightly against him, rubbing my back and kissing my hair.

“Jacqueline,” he whispered. It was always the name he used when he needed me to listen very carefully. “This is your life and your choice. You can’t make a decision based on what the fae want or what Liam wants or even what I want. You need to take some time to decide what it is that you want. Please take that time. I’ll talk to a doctor tonight to get you an appointment for a checkup as soon as possible.”

“Can Caelen tell how far along the child is?”

“I’m sure he can.”

“Please ask Liam to contact him and see if he can come tonight.”

“I have no doubt he’ll be here within the hour.” His tone was cold.

“Good. We need to have all the facts.” I turned to him and cradled his face in my hands, whispering, “You have to be honest. Will you still love me if I have Kennet’s child? Look into your heart and tell me the truth.”

He leaned in and kissed me deeply, our tremendous love for each other shared instantly in that brief intimate moment. He was smiling when we pulled apart. “The child will be yours. The rest doesn’t matter. I’ll do all I can to be the best father and mate possible.” He would make this enormous sacrifice and raise his enemy’s child. Even though he was putting on his best face, it would be hard for Garrett, seeing Kennet’s baby every day as a constant reminder of what he did to me. How could I put him through that?

“And if I decide that I can’t raise him, that I can’t love him or her, because he’s Kennet’s. If I give him to a fae couple to raise, will you still love me then?”

He kissed my lips so gently. “Of course, mon ange. I’ll love you forever.”

“And if I—if I have the abortion?”

“I’ll support whatever decision you make. I don’t give a shit what the fae say about it. I only care about you. I know that sometimes it seems like time spent on our political alliances and our missions take precedence over our personal relationship, but if you aren’t in my life then I have nothing.” He stroked my face. “I would give everything up: the team, my alliances, my nest, everything. You give my life meaning, not the rest.”

I let out my breath in a rush, not realizing I’d been holding it. “I don’t think I’ve ever loved you more than I do right this very minute.”

“Ah, a challenge. I’ll see if I can think of something I can do to make you love me even more.” He grinned mischievously as he nuzzled my neck.

I managed a weak laugh and he pulled away to look at my face. “It always comes back to that doesn’t it?” His brazen flirting had managed to cheer me up.

“What do you expect, Madame? Je suis Francais.” While he was kissing me, there was a tap on the door. He sighed and pulled away. “We’ll be out in a minute.” He looked at me once more with concern. “Remember, you don’t have to decide anything tonight.” I nodded, stood a little shakily, opened the door and walked into the kitchen holding Garrett's hand. Liam, Lord Caelen and Aedus sat quietly at the table.

“The Three Musketeers,” I sent to Garrett. “Sent here to save the Fae race.”

“Caelen goes where he chooses and usually brings along the heir apparent these days. Aedus would rather be home with Philladre, I’m sure.

He nodded to Caelen then Aedus then Liam, obviously intending to keep the meeting on a more formal basis. “Thank you for coming so quickly.” They nodded back, but didn’t speak. He glanced at me but I gestured for him to continue. “Jackie is pregnant with Kennett’s child. As you can imagine it’s quite a shock and it will take her some time to make a decision as to what she wants to do.” He glanced at Lord Caelen who’d raised his eyebrows and was looking at Garrett curiously. “This will be her choice and I will support her no matter what she decides. I won’t allow anyone to pressure her.” His expression was almost threatening. None of them reacted at all. They understood that this was Garrett, my mate, speaking to them, and not their ally.

He continued, “Lord Caelen, we’ve asked you to come tonight to find out if you can tell if the baby is developing at the rate the fae children do. We need to know how far along the child is. Will you be able to tell us?”

He nodded and stood, coming over to where I was standing. “Jacqueline, may I place my hand on your stomach? You’ll need to lift up your shirt.” Garrett wrapped his arm over my shoulder and I lifted my shirt up enough for Caelen to place his hand low on my stomach. He closed his eyes and smiled. “You have a son. He’s very strong and he is developing as the fae do. He’ll be born in nine weeks.”

Caelen moved away and returned to his chair, sitting gracefully then glancing at Aedus conspiratorially, as if this information would fit into their plans perfectly. “I need to sit.” I sent to only Garrett, so he led me to the chair next to Liam, sitting on my other side. He pulled his chair closer and kept his arm wrapped around me protectively. I was shivering.

“A son.” I sent.

“Let’s wait and see what they say.” I nodded in agreement.

Aedus spoke first, his voice soft and non-threatening. “Congratulations, Jacqueline. I know the circumstances are not what you’d wished for, but your son is a strong and healthy miracle. He’ll grow up playing with my daughter. In fact, he’ll be born a few days earlier. I’m very happy for you both.” He smiled sincerely at me and at Garrett, knowing beyond any doubt that Garrett would accept the child as his own for my sake. My fear was that it would drive a wedge between us, because Garrett would always think of Kennett when he looked at the boy.

When neither of us responded, Lord Caelen spoke up. “You’re very young, and I’m sure you never would have chosen to have a child at this age. If you decide you can’t face raising the baby yourself, there are many wonderful childless fae couples who would be loving parents to your son. No one would dare to judge you harshly if you made this choice. He would be cherished in Faerie and given the best of everything.”

They were both doing their best to urge me in one direction or the other without applying any real pressure. That was bound to come later. Garrett and I continued to sit silently, waiting to see how this would play out.

Liam leaned suddenly forward, a scowl on his face. “I think, father, that you and Aedus are not showing much sensitivity to Jackie’s situation. You’re acting as if she got pregnant accidentally during consensual sex. You have no idea what she went through with that bastard. He raped her after he beat and whipped her into unconsciousness, so she couldn’t fight back. He raped her mind as well, and you know what that was like, don’t you Aedus?” He was glaring at his brother. When he got no reaction, Liam stood up suddenly and spoke more heatedly as he glowered at both of them. “I hope he’s being passed around and raped by every monster Isaiah can dig up, because he deserves that and much more.”

Garrett and I were staring at our friend with wide eyes and open mouths. Neither of us was surprised when Aedus and Lord Caelen slowly stood, towering over him and looking extremely irritated. As the three of them began to speak in Fae, their voices grew louder and angrier. Liam was being stubborn and apparently not agreeing with whatever they were saying.

Garrett sent to me, “I can understand some of this…Caelen is saying that Liam is acting like a child and not thinking about the future of the race and also that Liam was disrespectful to you by using the language he used. Aedus is angry because he thinks Liam was disrespectful to their father and also because he thinks Liam might support us if we decide on the abortion. Whoa, Liam just cursed at his brother and Caelen is really getting angry now.

I saw Liam flinch twice as if his father had sent him a strong and possibly painful mental warning. He nodded curtly then turned to me, a touch of gold in his lovely eyes.

“Jacqueline, I apologize for going on about Kennet. I know those memories are not pleasant, and I apologize for my crude description.” He glanced at his father. “However, I won’t turn my back on our friendship. I’ll support whatever decision you make regarding the child you’re carrying. I hope my father and my brother come to their senses soon.” I was amazed to see him continue to glare at them. “I’ll say goodnight for now, but I’ll be here at the regular time tomorrow morning. Please contact me right away if you need me for anything.”

I squeezed his hand. “Thank you, Liam.” Garrett grasped his shoulder briefly and Liam disappeared. We gazed once more at the two extremely powerful fae still in our kitchen.

Lord Caelen sighed sadly and spoke. “Try to understand. We haven’t had a birth in our sidhe in over seventy-five human years. We’ve just celebrated the wonderful news regarding Philladre and Aedus’ child and now this miracle occurs. If this child dies, it would represent a death to the future of our race, and you must understand that nothing is of more importance to the fae. If the death is not an accident or a natural death, then many would see it as an act of war. My people have lived much longer than humans or most other supernaturals. There are High Seelie stronger than I or any on the Cascade Council and they would not take the death lightly. This would be a situation where I would not be able to protect you, even though I would personally argue on your behalf. Neither of you would be safe. Not anywhere.”

Aedus walked to me and crouched down so that his handsome face was only a few inches from mine. He spoke softly, but with great feeling. “Philladre and I would raise your son. Liam and Kellaine would also. It would be a great honor for us, and you know we would love him as our own. Please, Jackie, don’t do anything without careful thought.”

I smiled wanly at them both. “I’m going to take everything you’ve said tonight very seriously and I promise that Garrett and I won’t make any rash decisions. Thank you for coming so quickly. I know you’re trying to help me. Please don’t be angry with Liam.”

Aedus laughed. “We’re used to his outbursts. It’s the human side that connects to others so passionately. Sometimes I envy him. I wouldn’t change him even if I could.”

After they left, Garrett and I sat outside on the iron bench near the fountain, silently leaning against each other as the sun finally set behind the woods on what seemed like one of the longest days of my life. My hand kept moving to my belly of its own accord, as if I still needed to experience some kind of sign, not totally believing what the test had shown or what Caelen had told us. Sasha popped his head through the patio doors.

“We’ve all fed, Garrett. You said you wanted to know when we were back. I’m sorry if I interrupted.”

I smiled at Sasha, knowing full well that he could have just told Garrett mentally. He was checking up on me. “Did you hear earlier?” He nodded. “Did you tell the others?” He shook his head. “Ask William to make sure I get at least ten minutes of that phone call tonight.”

“Of course, Mistress.” This time I smiled in appreciation. Him calling me Mistress was his way of showing respect and I needed the boost right now. He stood for a few moments, unsure as to what else to say. “Is there anything I can do for either of you?”

I looked at him, standing there trying to help and had an idea. “I’d like a training session. William can join us with Heinrich too. In an hour if that’s all right.” Physical exercise had always been my friend when it came to getting out my anger and frustrations and relieving my stress without actually hurting someone. I watched him glance at Garrett who must have sent him a mental message because he nodded and went to tell the others.

“He could have just told me mentally that they were back, but he’s worried about you.” He seemed amused. “You need to eat, my love. Why don’t you call Ethan while I make you something?” He stood, taking my hand and leading me back into the kitchen.

“Garrett, it’s important for me to go on normally. I’m pregnant but I still need to work out. And you didn’t just tell Sasha to take it easy on me, did you?”

Garrett ran a gentle hand down my jaw line and grinned mischievously, trying to get me to smile. “I won't attempt to forbid your participation but you must eat well, sleep at least seven hours and of course I have to be nearby when you spar.”

“Did you actually use the word 'forbid'? I laughed and shoved him away, but he grabbed me back again.

“It’s your choice. But I’m not exactly brimming with enthusiasm that you’ve decided to train with my best fighter to rid yourself of your anger. Wouldn’t you rather go out for a run? I’ll accompany you.”

“I need to hit something. Hard.”

He laughed. “I understand. I feel the same whenever I think of that monster. But you must take care.”

“How can I make this decision?”

He clutched my hand in his, his expression growing very serious. “You know, my love, that if I had been with you when you got the call from Bridgett, I wouldn’t have let you go to Kennet alone. I would have followed you, and Kennet might have killed Bridgett because of my choice. We make the best decisions we can and we have to live with the consequences.” He shook his head and shrugged. “I told Sasha he should avoid belly strikes. That’s all, I swear.”

He’d lifted his arms as if in surrender, so I grabbed his belt and pulled him closer to me, wrapping my arms around his neck. “I was pregnant when I helped you wipe out Nathaniel's nest and also during the fiasco with the Los Altos Pack. Nothing should change now.”

“I'm very glad I didn't know about the pregnancy at the time.”

I leaned against my overly protective mate and nodded. “Me too.”