Maura Coen stepped out of her trailer, a look of nervous apprehension on her face. She glanced down at her watch. Her eyes darted across the set, from the actors to the set pieces to the camera crew.
Lifting the megaphone, she looked into the crowd. Doyle saw her look in his direction, so he waved. Apparently she must have been looking for Winthrop, because he gave her a nod which she slowly returned.
Doyle sensed something in the air, and he wondered if William and Amanda could feel it, too. Something was going to happen. Something not good.
Maura lifted the megaphone to her mouth.
“Bring out the wood chipper,” she said.
“Oh, boy,” Doyle said.
“What?” asked Amanda.
“Don’t you remember what happened in the first Fargo movie?”
“No, I don’t,” said Amanda. “I never saw it.”
If Doyle had a mouthful of water, he would have sprayed it twenty feet. “What!?” exclaimed Doyle. “How is that possible?”
“I don’t know,” said Amanda. “It just never happened. It’s on my Netflix list, though.”
“But still,” said Doyle. “You’re Minnesotan. It’s practically a state requirement that you must see Fargo at least once, and then mock the exaggerated accents.”
“Yeah, you betcha,” said William, although his attempt at sounding Minnesotan sounded far more Austrian.
“What was that?” asked Doyle.
William coughed. “That was a Minnesota accent.”
Doyle shook his head. “No. No it wasn’t. Don’t try that again.”
“Very well,” said William. “But that sounded more like you than you’d care to think.”
“I don’t think so, Schwarzenegger,” said Doyle.
“Could you get to the point?” asked Amanda. “We may only have a few minutes before we’re hauled off by Chief Orange Tie.” Fortunately, Severson was looking at the activity in front of the cameras and didn’t seem to hear Amanda’s comment.
“Okay, so in the first movie, one of the characters chops up his fellow criminal’s body with an ax and puts the severed bits through the wood chipper.”
“Ew,” said Amanda. “That’s disgusting.”
“Indeed it is,” said Doyle. “Which makes me more than a little nervous about what they’re about to film.”
William realized where Doyle’s train of thought was headed.
“You think that because one of the special effects in this film was tampered with, specifically the gunshot that killed Wilde, you believe this special effect may have been tampered with as well?”
“Exactly,” said Doyle.
“That’s quite disturbing,” said William. “And also a frightening possibility.”
“I just don’t think I could live with myself if anything happened to Josh Hartnett,” said Doyle. “Not on my watch.”
“Well, I don’t want to see your man-crush come to an abrupt end, so we should probably do something,” said Amanda.
“Any ideas?” asked Doyle.
“Look over there,” said William.
Two scruffy-looking men were wheeling out a giant wood chipper, followed by Chip, who was pushing it from behind.
“I’m not too keen on that Chip fellow being anywhere near that death machine,” said William.
“I agree with you on that one,” said Doyle.
Maura Coen once again brought the megaphone to her lips. “Chip, get the snow machine. I want you to cover the base of the wood chipper so the base and the wheels aren’t visible? Got it? Great. Everyone else, get into position. We’re filming in just a moment. Where’s Mike? Someone get him.”
“Mike?” asked Amanda. “Is she talking about Mike Cameron? Is he here?”
“I don’t know,” said Doyle. “I haven’t seen him yet.”
“He was at the hospital. Did anyone ever check on him?” asked Amanda.
“Oh, shit,” said Doyle. “Never occurred to me.”
“I have to admit, I’m quite guilty of that myself,” said William. “I was so preoccupied with recovering from a forced drug overdose and trying to locate Eva, I never once thought of how Mike Cameron was fairing.” “I imagine if Eva did something to Mike, we would have heard about it by now, right?” asked Amanda. “I mean, even though we didn’t check in on him, one of the investigating officers or a nurse would have noticed by now.”
“I would think so,” said William.
“Where is he?” asked Doyle. “Oh, there he is.”
Ronald Winthrop escorted Mike Cameron from a trailer in the distance. Winthrop was speaking into his ear. Cameron nodded as he walked.
As they stepped in front of the cameras, underneath the powerful lights, the detectives were able to get a better view of Cameron.
“He looks terrible,” said Amanda. “Look how much he’s sweating.”
“He’s probably quite nervous,” said William. “Last time he was in front of a camera, he shot someone to death.”
“I suppose that will stick with him for a while,” said Doyle.
Winthrop gave Cameron a pat on the back and retreated from the cameras.
“Something’s fishy—“ Amanda began to say, when she was interrupted by someone plowing between her and Doyle.
“Excuse me, Megan. Hi, Doodle,” said Officer Daniels. He tapped the back of Deputy Chief Severson’s shoulder. “You called, sir?”
Severson turned around and acknowledged Daniels with a brief nod. “Yes, Daniels. I’d like you to escort these three out of the park. Can you do that?”
“Well, I suppose so …“ said Daniels. “But are you sure that’s what you want?”
Daniels leaned into Severson and said something. Doyle couldn’t make out every word, but it sounded like, “They’re better detectives than us.”
Severson responded in his normal volume. “Doesn’t matter,” he said. “Everything’s pretty well wrapped up at this point. The producer wants them out of the park, and we’re obligated to, err—“ Severson paused. “We’re obligated to the people of our fair town to keep disruption to a minimum.”
“Disruption?” asked Doyle, sharply. “You’re the disruption here.
Daniels is a disruption. This whole dang film is a disruption!”
“Where are you going with this?” asked Amanda.
“I don’t know!” said Doyle. “I just don’t want to get kicked out of here, so I’m becoming boisterous. Listen—Chief Severson, Officer Daniels— we don’t mean to cause any harm here. We just want to help keep an eye on things. Keep people safe. That’s all.”
“Oh, I fully understand,” said Severson. “You’re suggesting we’re not capable of performing our duties, is that right?”
William lifted his hand. “Pardon, Chief Severson is it? I hate to be the one to point this out, but the zipper on your trousers is all the way down, and I happen to be staring directly at your private bits.”
The deputy chief’s face flushed as his fingers flew to the front of his pants and zipped up in one quick motion.
“Perhaps it’s best for all if you leave us be. We’re very well qualified to look for even the smallest detail,” said William.
Amanda and Doyle raised their eyebrows in unison. William didn’t often make such pointed jabs.
Severson stared directly at Daniels, pointed to the park’s exit, and said in four very distinct syllables, “Take. Them. Out. Now.”
Daniels put his hand on William’s back and gave him a small push forward. William let out a yelp of pain.
“Stab wound,” croaked William.
“Sorry,” said Daniels. “Honestly, I forgot about that.”
Daniels tried to shove Amanda forward as well, but she barked, “No touch.”
“Fine, fine,” said Daniels. “Just … move, all three of you. Let’s just move on out of here, okay?”
“Okay,” said Doyle.
They walked slowly through huddled masses of people, many of whom appeared to be from the press, or just extras waiting to be of use in the film.
“Listen, Daniels,” said Doyle.
“Yeah, Doodle?”
“I just think you should know that something’s about to happen,” said Doyle.
“It is?” asked Daniels.
“You could feel it, couldn’t you? There’s just a weird sort of energy right now. Someone is about to be murdered.”
“Oh, c’mon,” said Daniels. “You’re just trying to get me to release you guys. I’m not doing that. I have no desire to get into trouble with the chief. Or the deputy chief for that matter.”
“All right,” said Doyle. “But it’s only fair that you should know what your superiors think of you.”
“What? What do you mean?” asked Daniels.
“Well,” said Doyle. “While the three of us were keeping an eye out for Eva Wong and her potential accomplice, we heard Severson and the film’s producer, Ronald Winthrop, having an argument.”
“You did?” asked Daniels.
We did? mouthed Amanda.
“We did,” said Doyle. “The film’s producer doesn’t want any police or detectives around his set. Probably because he knows one of his cast members are guilty, and he doesn’t want anyone being arrested. That would mean he’d have to hire a replacement and possibly re-film half the movie or who knows. You follow?”
Daniels nodded, though he continued to hustle the detectives towards the gate.
“Okay,” Daniels said. “So what does this have to do with me?”
“Your boss, Chief Severson—“ began Doyle.
“That’s Deputy Chief Severson,” said Daniels. “He’s only my boss when the chief is out golfing. Which is roughly four times a week.”
“All right. So Deputy Chief Severson was arguing that he wanted you to be around the set, because you’re an awfully good investigator, according to him,” said Doyle.
“Severson said that?” asked Daniels.
“I didn’t get it, either,” said Doyle. “Especially considering you wanted us to solve the crime so you could take the credit.”
“Let’s not bring up old stuff like that,” said Daniels, punching Doyle in the shoulder.
“Fair enough,” said Doyle, rubbing his shoulder. “But he does think you’re a good cop. But, it does seem that your superiors, including Severson, possibly, maybe, potentially, theoretically … are being bribed in some way.”
Doyle waited a moment to see Daniels reaction.
Officer Daniels stopped walking. “I think you might be right,” he said.
“It’s obvious that against Severson’s better judgment, he sent you to take us out of the park,” said Doyle. “The unfortunate consequence of this is that no one, including yourself, is actively watching what’s happening on set. Even Severson doesn’t seem to know his belt from his wristwatch, so I don’t think he’ll be of much help.”
Daniels looked down. Finally, he shook his head. He continued towards the exit.
“Keep walking,” Daniels said. “If Severson is confident enough that nothing is going to happen, then so am I.”
They were just about to the gate when Amanda belted out, “He called you a pussy!”
Daniels turned around. “Excuse me?”
Amanda adjusted her collar. “Yes, your boss, Severson. He called you a … you know. Because he knew you’d always listen to orders, even if it meant doing something idiotic.”
“Idiotic?” asked Daniels.
“Don’t ask me,” said Amanda. “I’m just repeating what I heard.”
“You better not be bullshitting me,” said Daniels.
“Trust me,” said Amanda. “I never bullshit anyone. I don’t even know the meaning of the word.”
Daniels exhaled deeply. “Fine. Let’s go back. Try to stay inconspicuous, if you can, okay? And if Severson or that producer guy notices you, it’s because you snuck back in. Got it?”
“You’re making a wise choice,” said Doyle. “You may have saved a life.”
Daniels lit up when he heard those words. “Thanks,” he said.
“Doodle, you know my cell. Call me if you need me.”
“I will,” said Doyle. “Thank you.”