I slowly open my eyes. Last night, I had a much more refreshing night’s sleep. I didn’t mind the forest floor as much as I thought I would, but a bed is much more comfortable. I’ll need to pack a mattress pad or something when I go camping with the guys in the future.
The bed is empty. The clock on the table says it’s ten in the morning. Wow, I can’t remember the last time I slept this late. I must’ve been really tired.
Considering what we did last night, it’s no surprise I was exhausted. The guys had me up late and gave me multiple orgasms. That takes a lot out of you!
There’s a note on the table. It’s written in Mark’s handwriting, thank goodness. John’s is like a doctor’s script. I struggle to read the board when he’s teaching.
“Mari, John and I are using one of the hotel’s conference rooms to talk with the English department head about the next few days.”
I stop reading as my heart speeds up. That can’t be good! It’s Sunday. Why is the department head calling? I’m sure she’s going to tell us all to come home, and I don’t want that to happen. We’re having such an amazing time! I’m not ready for it to end.
I take a deep breath and keep reading.
“Before you freak out, it’s not bad.”
I laugh out loud. Mark knows me so well.
“She wants to go over the plan for the next three days. Since John won’t be in class, he has to give lesson plans for the covering lecturer. It’s going to take a while since there are a bunch of classes to cover. She also wants to talk about the conference. I don’t think we’ll be back before lunchtime. Feel free to eat without us if you’re hungry. Hope you slept well. See you when we get back. Love, Mark and John.”
Oh, thank goodness. I should learn to keep reading before I start to panic. Or maybe Mark should’ve said “don’t freak out” right at the beginning.
Honestly, I still would’ve freaked out. I appreciate his effort, though.
I sit up and stretch. My stomach immediately turns, and I run to the bathroom and dry heave into the toilet.
This keeps happening! I’ll wake up and suddenly feel like I’m going to be sick. I hope I’m not coming down with something. A stomach bug would make the next few days miserable.
I want to be able to enjoy Alaska. It would be a shame to waste our extra days together in bed with my head over a bucket.
The nausea passes quickly, just like it has every morning for the last week. Luckily, I didn’t feel like I was going to throw up yesterday when we woke up in the woods. My stomach had felt a little funky, but not bad enough to throw up.
I hope the guys haven’t noticed. I’ve tried to keep quiet when I’m dry heaving. They’ll worry about me if they hear me, and I don’t want that.
What am I going to do until the guys get back? I have a couple of hours to myself. I pull out my phone and start scrolling through social media, but a notification interrupts me. It’s from my period tracker app, reminding me to log the start of my period.
I drop my phone. Oh my God.
When was the last time I got my period? I can’t remember, but I’m pretty sure it’s been almost two months.
I’ve been so distracted by the guys that I haven’t been paying attention. How could I not notice that I missed my period?
My hand settles on my stomach. My heart is pounding in my chest. Is it possible that I’m…
It would explain so much, especially the nausea in the morning. And my breasts have felt more tender and sensitive than usual. I thought that was just because of how much attention they’ve been getting, but now I’m not so sure.
Then there are the cravings. I’ve always gotten cravings, usually when I’m about to start my period. Lately, though, they’ve been much worse. Like yesterday at the diner. I felt like I needed to have pie or I would die.
My stomach is in knots. This can’t be happening. I’m just imagining it.
I’ve been with Mark and John for a few months now, and we’ve had sex more times than I can count. We usually use protection, but there have been a few times when we’ve been in the heat of the moment and forgot about it. I never worried because I figured the chances were pretty low of me getting pregnant.
So much for that mentality! I should’ve made sure they used protection every time we slept together. Because I didn’t, I might be pregnant. I’m so young! I didn’t plan on having kids until after college, when I was settled down and married. This is not what I expected.
The keys to the rental car are sitting on the dresser. Only John is supposed to drive it since his name is on the agreement, but this is an emergency. I’m sure John would understand.
He doesn’t even have to know about my trip. The guys are gone until noon, so I can get to the grocery store and be back long before they even notice the car is gone.
Thank goodness they stayed at the hotel for their phone call. If I had to wait for them to finish their conversation, I think I’d go crazy.
I grab the keys and run out the door. I’m still in my pajamas, but I don’t care. I need to get out now. The sooner I know for sure, the better.
I remember the route to the grocery store, and it only takes me ten minutes to get there. Finding the tests is a different story. Why are grocery stores so confusing? I don’t want to ask anyone for help. It’s too embarrassing. I look like a scrub, frantically searching for a pregnancy test. Any clerk would judge me. Hell, I’m judging me.
Finally, I locate the tests. There’s a woman working one of the registers, so I go to her. I figure she’ll judge me the least. Aside from a sympathetic look, she doesn’t say or do anything about the test. She just tells me my total, puts it in a bag, and sends me on my way after I’ve paid.
Test procured, I head back to the hotel. I would rather be in the privacy of our suite than in a sketchy grocery store bathroom when I find out. I have an hour before the guys come back still. I’ll be able to take the test before they get back. If it’s negative, they never have to know about any of this.
If it’s positive, I have no idea what I’ll do. I’ll figure that out if I have to.
The instructions on the test are pretty clear. Pee on the stick, wait a few minutes, and read the result. I manage to get the pee part done, but the waiting part feels like it’s taking forever.
I keep checking the timer. It feels like an hour has passed, but it has only been a minute. How do people do this? I wish I had Mark and John here to comfort me. I’m freaking out right now.
The test could be positive. It’s probably going to be positive. The signs are all there. I’ve just been ignoring them or writing them off as something else. Looking at myself in the mirror, I feel like an idiot. My boobs are slightly bigger, and my face feels puffier.
The alarm goes off, stopping my speculation. I take a deep breath and pick up the test.
There are two lines.
I’m pregnant.
I wait for the panic to settle in, but it doesn’t come. I’m scared and stressed, but a part of me is also happy.
This isn’t how I’d planned for my life to go. However, I’ve always wanted to be a mom. The idea of starting a family is exciting to me. Suddenly, I can’t wait to have this child.
My hands rest on my stomach. There’s a baby growing in there. It’s insane to think about. I try to picture myself with a huge, round belly, but I can’t.
It doesn’t matter. I won’t have to imagine it in a few months; it’ll be right there in the mirror.
This may have been an accident, but now that I know I’m pregnant, I wouldn’t change it for the world. I’m actually excited to be carrying Mark and John’s baby.
I gasp at the sudden realization – it’s not their baby. This child only belongs to one of them, technically. I wonder which one is the biological father. Should I try to find out? Will they want to know? How will this change our relationship?
I’m starting to freak out again. I try to steady my breathing, but it’s impossible. This whole situation is insane. What am I going to do? What are Mark and John going to do when they find out? Will they be happy or angry?
I can’t stand it if they’re upset. This baby is a happy surprise to me. I don’t want them to think otherwise.
The door to the suite opens. It’s not quite noon yet, so they’re back early. Thank goodness! I won’t have to wait much longer to find out their reactions.
I take a few deep breaths before I walk out of the bathroom. If they see me panicking, they’ll think something is wrong. I don’t know if anything is wrong yet, and I don’t want them to freak out prematurely.
“Hi,” I greet them. “How was your meeting?”
“Long and boring,” John says. “But it’s done and over with. I’m off the hook for my classes through Wednesday, and I’m confident the substitute lecturers will be competent enough to handle the coursework. I’ll have a ton to grade when we get back, but that’ll be fine.”
“Good, I’m glad.”
Mark kisses my cheek. “How was your morning?”
I take a deep breath. “Well, it’s been eventful, actually.”
The guys both give me a concerned look. “What do you mean by eventful? Is everything okay?”
“I think so. I guess I’ll find out in a second.” I pull the test out of my back pocket and hold it up to them. “I’m pregnant.”
Both men are completely silent. Their eyes are wide in astonishment.
“Please say something,” I whisper after nearly a minute of silence.
A tear slides down John’s cheek. “Oh, Mari! This is incredible!”
He pulls me into a hug and spins me around. I have to throw my arms around his neck to keep from falling.
“You’re happy? You think it’s a good thing?” I ask when he settles me down.
“Are you not happy?”
“I am!” I admit. “But I wasn’t sure how you would feel about it…”
“I’m stunned,” Mark admits. “But I’m happy, too. I’ve always wanted to be a father. I wasn’t sure if it would ever happen, though, because of my lifestyle. You’ve made me one of the happiest men on Earth!”
I bite my lip. This is what I was worried about. Does Mark think he’s the father? Is there a reason he thinks that? I’ve slept with both of them, with and without protection. Either one could be the father.
“What’s wrong?” John asks. “I thought you were happy?”
“I am, but I’m nervous, too.”
“About what?”
“One of you is the father.”
“Well, that’s good,” John jokes. “You’re not stepping out on us.”
“Of course not! You’re my only boyfriends. What I mean is, only one of you is the father, but I don’t know which one. I’ve been with you both, obviously…”
I’m starting to freak out again. I don’t want to hurt either of them. Will John be upset if Mark is the father? Will Mark leave if John is the father?
My brain is spiraling out of control. I’m glad they’re both happy, but how long will that happiness last if we find out who the baby’s biological father is?
To my surprise, Mark kisses me hard. When he pulls away, John’s lips attach to mine.
“What was that for?” I ask.
“To stop you from freaking out,” Mark says. “We’re not worried about who the baby’s biological father is. As far as we’re concerned, we’re both the fathers.”
I gape at them. I was not expecting Mark to say that. I don’t think I’ve ever met a guy who would be willing to raise another man’s baby. Most normal guys would demand a paternity test.
I should have known better than to assume Mark and John would behave like normal guys. They’re nothing like the other men I’ve met.
They’re a million times better.
“I think you should sit. You look pale. Have you eaten?”
I shake my head. “I didn’t have a chance. I woke up kind of late, and then I felt sick, and then I realized that I was probably pregnant, so I went to the store to get the test…”
“Wait…how did you get to the store?”
“I might have borrowed the rental car.”
John laughs. “You scandalous girl. I’m glad you and the car made it back in one piece. Now, how about a sandwich for you and our beautiful child?”
“A sandwich sounds delicious. Ham, please. With mayo, lettuce, tomato, and ketchup.”
“Ketchup with mayo?” Mark asks, scrunching his nose.
“Blame the baby.”
John laughs. “Weird sandwich, coming right up.”
He makes quick work of fixing my sandwich, as well as one for him and one for John – minus the ketchup on theirs. Then the two of them join me in the living room with our food.
The first bite is fantastic. I groan into the bread.
“This is exactly what I wanted.”
“Good. Now, eat up because we have more to talk about.”
“We don’t need to talk anymore. Talking is boring. Eating is fun.”
“Eat now, talk in a few minutes.”
I try to slow down my food intake, but it’s no use. I’m starving, and the sandwich is so freaking good. I finish it a few minutes later.
“Alright, now back to what we were discussing. We don’t care that only one of us is technically the father. We’re excited to co-parent this baby. But are you okay with that?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, we may never know which of us is the biological father. Would you prefer we take a test to verify who it is?”
“If you guys are okay with not knowing, then so am I. I like the idea of this baby belonging to all three of us.”
When he or she is born, we may be able to tell from his or her characteristics which man is the father, and that’s fine. But we don’t need a test to tell us who the baby’s dad is. They’re both going to be around to raise this baby.
My heart swells with happiness. I’m so glad the guys are on board with this. I was nervous to tell them, but they’ve put me completely at ease.
“I’m so unbelievably happy,” John says. “I’ve wanted children for years. I was beginning to think I’d have to adopt if I ever wanted to see that dream become a reality.”
“And I’ve always wanted to be a mom. I’ll admit, this isn’t how I expected it to happen, but I don’t regret anything. This baby is going to have two amazing fathers.”
“And an even more amazing mother,” Mark adds.
I blush at the compliment. He knows exactly what to say to make me feel good. He’d better keep it up. I’ve heard that pregnancy can make your hormones go insane, and you can get really insecure. I’ll need lots of compliments to keep me from crying all of the time.
“I’m…I don’t even know how to explain it. There isn’t a word to express how happy I am right now.”
Mark and John hug me on the couch. I’m sitting between them, wrapped in their arms. They make me feel safe and loved, even with such a simple gesture.
“I’ll have to move out of the dorms!” I exclaim suddenly. “I don’t think they allow babies to live on campus.”
John kisses the top of my head. “I think you’re right. Don’t worry about that now. We’ll figure out living situations when we get back to New York.”
“Will we all live together?”
“I hope so. It’s complicated right now, but we should be able to live together before the baby is born.”
The idea has me both excited and nervous. I’ve never lived with a man other than my father, and that hardly counts.
Will we cohabitate well? I’ve heard of people who move in with their significant others only to find out they have awful habits that are deal breakers. What if that happens to us? We have a baby to consider now.
“I can tell you’re thinking too much right now, Mari,” Mark says. “Try to calm down. We’re going to figure it all out.”
“We need a nursery!”
John laughs. “We have plenty of time to worry about that.”
“I know, but it has to be perfect. Our baby needs to be safe and have a great place to sleep.”
“Our baby will have nothing but the best, I promise you that,” Mark says. “He or she will never want for anything.”
“But the baby won’t be spoiled, okay? I don’t want him or her to grow up to be a brat.”
“With parents like us, that won’t happen. Our child will love to read and write and play poker. He or she will likely be a genius. And quite good looking. I mean, how could he or she not be? Look at his or her parents!”
I laugh. “You’re absolutely right. We’re going to be on our toes with this one. I bet he or she will be smarter than the three of us combined.”
“Oh, guaranteed.”
John and Mark each put a hand on my tummy. I don’t know how far along I am, but I’m not showing yet. Our baby is still too small for any movements to be felt on the inside, much less on the surface. Seeing the looks on their faces, though, it’s clear they don’t need to feel anything physical. They’re feeling an emotional connection to our unborn baby.
It’s enough to make me cry.
“What’s wrong?” Mark asks, his voice panicky.
“Nothing! I’m pregnant, emotional, and happy. I think I might cry randomly a lot more often now.”
The guys laugh. “We can handle it. We’ll handle anything life throws at us.”
We hug once again. Mark’s reassurance settles over us. I trust that as long as they’re around, I’ll be safe. Nothing that life throws at me will be too much.
I mean, I’m already pregnant. What more could life do?