CHAPTER 10

It’s suppertime before she gets her chance to ask.

“How was your day?” Dad looks at Nell, finally switching off his phone and putting it next to him on the table.

“Exhausting,” she groans, completely predictably. “I’ve still got so much work to finish and the exams are—”

“Can I go into town with my friends?” asks Tally, her heart racing with worry that they won’t agree. “Tomorrow morning?”

“Don’t interrupt your sister,” Dad tells her. “Carry on, Nell.”

“As I was saying,” says Nell, shooting Tally a snarky glance. “The exams are really—”

“But can I?” Tally stares at Mum.

“We’ll talk about it in a minute,” Mum answers calmly. “Once Nell has told us about her day then it will be your turn and we can talk about you.”

Tally makes a huffing noise. “That won’t be in one minute,” she points out. “Nell is going to blather on about her stupid exams for hours, so just tell me. Can I go?”

“Tally.” Dad puts his fork down on to the plate. “We’re listening to Nell right now and when she has finished talking we’ll discuss what it is that you want to tell us about. OK?”

“Not OK,” Tally tells him, her legs starting to twitch. “I just need to know. My friends are hanging out in town and I want to go too, so can I?”

“What friends?” mutters Nell. “Those mean girls that you sit with at lunchtime are not your friends, Tally, and if you think that they are then you’re being kind of stupid.”

“I am not stupid!” yells Tally.

“Nell!” admonishes Mum. “That was rude and completely uncalled for. Apologize to your sister, right now, please. You know that she had to say goodbye to Layla earlier – a little kindness would be appreciated right now.”

“Maybe they should both apologize?” Dad suggests lightly. “And then perhaps we can move on with hearing about Nell’s day and then talk about Tally going into town at the weekend. How does that sound?”

“What do I have to say sorry for?” howls Tally, and now her arms are flapping and waving in the air, her body screaming her fear and frustration even louder than her voice. But Dad can’t hear her. And then one of Tally’s hands knocks into her glass and water floods across the table and on to Dad’s phone.

“For goodness’ sake!” he yells, pushing his chair back with a screech. “My phone!”

Tally freezes as he grabs for a towel and dabs at the screen.

“It was an accident,” says Mum.

“I know that.” He gives up with the tea towel and dashes across the kitchen to yank open the cupboard door. Tally watches as he grabs a bag of rice and pours it into a bowl and then turn and shake his head at Mum. “But if my phone is broken then it’s going to cause me a major headache.”

“It wasn’t my fault.” They aren’t the words that she wants to say but the fear that Dad is going to blame her or be angry with her for trashing his phone makes it impossible to say what she’s really thinking.

Nell makes a snorting noise which Tally chooses to ignore. There’s enough going on without adding her irritating sister to the mix.

“I understand that it was an accident,” Dad agrees, ramming the phone into the bowl of rice and staring at it sadly. “You didn’t meant to spill the water, I know that. But it’s still important to take responsibility for your own actions, Tally.”

“You need to apologize,” Mum tells her.

Silence floods the room as Tally stares at the table. She’s sorry about the phone, she really is – but surely they should know that without her saying some random words? People say stuff all the time and don’t really mean it – she would far rather someone show her that they’re sorry than just fling out a few pointless words. But that’s what her parents seem to think matters most.

“Sorry,” she mumbles, not looking at either of them.

“Rosa dropped her phone down the toilet and it still works,” Nell tells them.

“That’s reassuring,” says Dad.

“That’s foul,” shudders Mum. “I think I’d have just left it in there. Nobody wants to be using their phone after that.”

Dad walks over to the table and sits back down. “I guess it rather depends on whether she had availed herself of the facilities first.”

“Gross, Dad!” squeals Nell, pulling such a disgusted face that even Tally laughs a little bit.

“OK,” says Mum. “So you want to go into town tomorrow with your friends?” She looks across at Dad. “I can’t see a problem with that, can you?”

Dad nods. “If you really want to go then that’s fine with me. I need to pop to the music shop for some more guitar strings so I can drop you off on the way.”

Tally hesitates. She doesn’t really want to. But she can’t not go – that’s not an option. And if she tries to tell Mum and Dad that she’s petrified about going to the shopping centre without them or Nell but she’s even more scared about having to go to school next week if she doesn’t do what everyone else is doing, then they’ll never agree to the trip. And maybe Layla was right. Maybe keeping busy and doing something new will distract her from the thudding pain that she gets in her heart whenever she thinks about her best friend and the fact that she’s gone.

“I really want to,” she says, echoing Dad’s phrase. It feels like less of a lie if she hasn’t used words of her own.