Roland carried two little girls to the top of the dune. From there they could see the homes and businesses in Singapore. To the southeast, the fire still raged, but the driving winds would keep it away from town. Soon it would run into cleared land and lose its fuel. The fire would die. Had Pearl?
He set down the now-squirming girls as his brother joined him.
“Go,” Garrett said. “Miss Porter and I can take the children home from here.”
Roland didn’t need more encouragement, but Garrett gave it anyway.
“You did the right thing. She would be proud of you.”
Roland wasn’t. The entire terrible trek west had reinforced his guilt. Yes, the fire had begun from the tugboat, but that tug would never have been there if he hadn’t built a dock for the glassworks factory that now would never happen. As he ran toward the blaze he realized that the project that had once possessed his every waking moment no longer meant a thing.
All that mattered was Pearl.
If he found her charred remains, he would never forgive himself. He should have made sure she followed. He should have looked back. He should have listened to her concerns about the construction site. He should have found another place for the school. The list of charges against him was long. No judge would acquit him, certainly not God.
At the top of the wooded slope, the carnage became evident. His building timbers had burned away. The bricks were cracked rubble. The woods had largely burnt and the schoolhouse was a smoking hulk of charred wood.
He stumbled forward. Pearl couldn’t possibly have survived. Yet he could not abide anyone else finding her. He could not bear to think of another soul touching her.
“What a fool I am,” he cried to the God he had set aside in the name of progress. Selfish dreaming might be a better name for it. Yes, it would have helped the town, but at what cost? Had he taken the time to bring everyone together? Had he ensured others shared that dream? No, he’d plowed ahead, dreaming of riches, not the benefit to others. His name would go on the glassworks. His bank account would grow. How worthless and conceited.
He had thrown away the things that mattered most—his family and the woman who made him reconsider every decision he’d ever made. She’d brought him back to church. Now he knew that wasn’t enough. If he’d given her a chance, she would have led him straight to the Lord. Instead, he’d let her down. He’d let everyone down.
“I was wrong,” he called out to God. Like the penitent of old, he struck his chest with his fists. If anything would bring Pearl back, he would do it, but even the most righteous human did not bribe God.
He dropped to his knees. “Your will, not mine.”
The words should have sapped his strength, but a drop of rain splattered against his uplifted face. Then another and another. Each one poured hope into him as if from a bucket. He clambered to his feet and ran.
Whatever he found, whether Pearl lived or died, the Lord would be with him. Somehow, deep down, he knew that would be enough. Yet hope built with each step. The remnants of the fire had moved south. The area around the school smoldered. He pressed his shirtsleeve to his nose to filter out the choking smoke. He’d left his coat with Pearl after dousing the flames on her skirt.
Pearl, oh, Pearl. What would he find?
He slid down the slope and hurried around the smoking remains of the schoolhouse. Then he halted, shocked.
The hand pump, inexplicably dribbling water, stood in the center of the open backyard. Beneath it, in the trail of the streaming water, lay Pearl, her clothing no more burned than when he’d left her. His coat lay behind her, where she’d once lain and from where she must have crawled.
He stumbled toward her and dropped to his knees.
“Pearl?”
He touched her shoulder.
She did not respond.
He cupped her soot-covered cheek, which was streaked with perspiration...or tears. It felt slightly warm. Was she alive?
He placed an ear on her back and heard the most wonderful sound on earth, the beating of her heart.
“Pearl,” he choked out through the tears. “Oh, Pearl.”
He pressed his lips to her cheek.
She stirred, ever so little, but it was enough to send hope surging through his veins.
“Thank You, God.” The whispered words filled with emotion.
Then he gathered her in his arms.
* * *
Waiting had never been easy for Roland. After carrying Pearl to the boardinghouse and placing her on the bed in her room, Mrs. Calloway shooed him downstairs to the parlor, where Amanda and Fiona turned eager eyes in his direction.
“How is she?”
He shook his head. “Not awake. We need to send for a doctor.”
“Mr. Calloway already left for Holland,” Amanda said.
“Holland,” Roland repeated dully. Why didn’t Singapore have its own physician?
“Mr. Calloway said that was the closest doctor.”
Roland scrubbed his jaw. “That’s probably true. The doc in Saugatuck heads upriver this time of year.” But that meant a long wait. “It’ll take hours.”
“He took Old Tom,” Amanda said hopefully.
Roland breathed a sigh of relief. Old Tom might balk at pulling the heavy fire pump, but he could bring Ernie Calloway to Holland faster than a man could walk. “Good. It won’t be long, then. How are the children?”
Amanda brightened. “All safely home. Once we were within sight of the village, their spirits lifted, though they’re worried about Pearl.”
Roland couldn’t blame them. “Me, too.” He wondered for a moment how Sadie was doing. She’d been through too much for her tender years.
“I’m sure all will turn out well.” Amanda rose. “I’ll go look in on her.”
“Mrs. Calloway said everyone had to leave the room,” he said.
She gave him a pitying look, one that women used to indicate he simply didn’t understand. “I’m Pearl’s dearest friend. Mrs. Calloway will welcome my help.”
Everyone apparently only included him.
“Moreover, it’s my room, too.” Amanda tucked her embroidery into a basket before leaving the parlor.
They shared a room? That shouldn’t have surprised Roland if he’d been observant. It fit with Pearl’s inability to purchase primers, a new dress or a winter coat. Though Amanda’s gowns were finer, she, too, wore only a couple different ones. Pearl had carried only a carpetbag when she landed in Singapore. He’d assumed she had sent her trunks to the boardinghouse, but what if all she owned was in that single bag? She had let slip that she was an orphan. He’d assumed she’d been raised by relatives, but what if she hadn’t?
He hurried after Amanda and caught her on the first step of the stairway.
“Miss Porter. Amanda.”
She turned, her violet eyes more somber than usual. “Is something wrong?”
He shook his head. “I wondered if you could answer something for me. It’s about Pearl. She mentioned she is an orphan.”
Amanda turned her face from him. He couldn’t help but notice how tightly she gripped the railing.
Something about that statement bothered her, but he could not stop now. “Did she live with your family?”
Amanda’s shoulders drooped. She shook her head.
“But you said you are close friends, and Pearl said you grew up together. She must have lived near, perhaps with a relation?”
She turned troubled eyes toward him. “Please don’t ask me these questions. Pearl needs to give you the answers.”
What was she hiding and why? “I mean no harm.”
“I know that, Mr. Decker, but Pearl is the one who should give you the answers you seek.”
That sounded ominous, as if Pearl had something to hide. Impossible. She was the most open person he’d ever met. She spoke her mind, sometimes without thinking first, but openly nonetheless. He could not believe her capable of deceit. And now she lay in grave danger, if her unresponsiveness and Mrs. Calloway’s concern were any indication.
“Shouldn’t we contact a family member?” he persisted. “Send a letter or telegram?”
She shook her head ever so slightly. “That won’t be necessary.” Then she practically sprinted up the staircase.
Odd. Very odd. Either Amanda had complete faith in Pearl’s recovery or Pearl was estranged from what family she had. Unless she had none. Roland drew in his breath. After losing his parents, Garrett had become his only family. Roland had nearly wrecked that with his foolish longing for Eva. Lust. Best call it what it was. Roland hated to lose to anyone, and Eva had been a pawn in the terrible struggle between Roland and his brother. Though Roland had never touched her after she abandoned him for Garrett, he still wanted her. No wonder she’d run from him.
Roland felt ill. No wonder Christ had condemned not only the coveting, but also the covetous thought. He needed a heap of forgiveness, but before he could plead before God, he must humble himself before his brother.
As if on cue, the front door opened, ushering in Garrett and the children, all dripping wet.
“Uncle, uncle,” Sadie cried, throwing her arms around his legs.
“Let’s get those coats off,” Garrett said.
Once the children’s slickers had been removed, Roland picked up Sadie and gave her a bear hug, overwhelmed by gratitude that this little one had survived. Thanks to Pearl, who’d risked her life for Sadie.
He set her down. “Any bumps or bruises?”
“Cocoa scratched me.” She held up a wrist with a red welt where the frightened kitten had gouged her.
Roland kissed the spot. “There. All better. How is Cocoa?”
“She’s hiding behind the bed.”
“Not surprising. You were very brave to rescue her.”
The little girl’s eyes filled with tears. “Miss Lawson saved me.”
“Yes, she did.” Roland looked up at his brother, who shot him a questioning look in return. Roland shook his head. “But now she needs to rest and get better.”
“Like Cocoa?”
“A little like Cocoa.”
Fiona appeared in the parlor doorway. “I thought I heard you two darling children. I happen to have a game of jacks all set to play. Would you like to join me?”
The two children squealed their agreement, and Garrett shot Fiona a look of gratitude. She smiled back, and Roland wondered if he’d guessed wrong about Amanda and his brother. If Garrett could communicate with Fiona simply with a look, then they’d spent more time together than he’d realized. Roland was beginning to see just how little he knew about his brother.
Once the children had left with Fiona, Garrett grew solemn. “Any word?”
“Ernie took Old Tom to fetch a doctor from Holland, but you probably already knew that.”
Garrett nodded. “It’ll be a couple more hours before we can expect them, then.”
Roland knew this, but hearing it confirmed dampened his already turbulent feelings.
Garrett must have seen his pained expression, for he leaned close to whisper. “Did she wake?”
“Once. Well, not completely. She stirred and murmured something when I first found her.”
Garrett nodded gravely. “We must take that as a good sign.”
Then why did he look like a man waiting for a funeral? Roland attempted to swallow the sawdust in his throat and failed. “She’s a strong woman.”
“That she is.” Garrett looked down at his scuffed and worn boots.
Though Roland’s brother could afford new footwear, he would not buy anything that wasn’t practical. Unlike Eva. She adored the frivolous and beautiful. Like Amanda, she glowed when dressed in a pretty gown with her locks curled. Roland sighed. Maybe Garrett and Amanda weren’t such a good match. She could be too similar to Eva. Speaking of which, Roland had unfinished business that he could not put off any longer.
He cleared his throat. “May I have a word with you?”
Garrett looked up, curious. “If you need money to cover your losses on the factory, I’ll do my best to help out.”
“No. That’s not it. Not even close.” Roland drew a deep breath. Garrett had been exceptionally kind today, but their relationship would never strengthen until he cleared the air. “I need to confess something.” He swallowed. “This might hurt. Do you want to step out onto the porch for some privacy?”
No one sat on the porch in this weather. In fact, Ernie Calloway had put the chairs into the barn for the winter.
Garrett eyed him suspiciously. “What is it?”
Roland stepped outside, and his brother followed. Only after he closed the door and they moved to the far end of the porch would he speak. The rain still fell in sheets, and the spray off the railings misted their clothes.
“What happened?” Garrett prompted, his arms crossed in front of his chest.
Roland’s heart thumped against his rib cage like an angry bear in a cage. There was no getting out of this now. “I wronged you.”
Garrett’s brow rose but he said nothing.
Roland continued, “Eva and I were more than friends before she went to you.” He drew in another breath and hesitated a moment in case Garrett’s anger exploded. It didn’t. “I know now that I drove her away. She wanted love and encouragement and devotion. I could only think about my plans and my future. I thought she fit into it. I was wrong.”
Garrett nodded curtly.
Roland knew that was his signal to proceed, but it got more difficult from that point forward. “I tried to make her into what I needed. When she left, I was furious, even envious. I couldn’t understand what you had that I didn’t.”
“What did you do to her?” Garrett growled.
Roland held up his hands. “At least let me finish before you pound me senseless. That’s why I couldn’t attend your wedding and why I accepted the store manager position here in Singapore. Then you followed me here. I couldn’t stand to see Eva every day. In my mind it rubbed salt in the wound. Then...” He hesitated before this difficult part.
“Then what?”
“I’m ashamed of what I did.” Roland swiped his brow, which in spite of the cool temperatures was sweating profusely. “I talked to Eva.”
“Talked to her.”
“Asked her why she preferred you, suggested she would have done better with me. That’s why she left in the skiff that day. If I hadn’t pressed her, she would never have died.”
The blow came without warning, but not a fist to the jaw, which would have knocked Roland senseless. Instead, Garrett clapped him on the shoulder and gave him a solid shake.
He looked Roland in the eyes. “You must forgive yourself. God has.” His grip relaxed. “And I have. Long ago. I knew about your relationship with Eva.”
“How?”
“It was obvious by the way you two acted around each other and the way she begged to leave, as if her life depended on it.”
“It did,” Roland said bitterly.
“That was her choice. I spent a lot of time these past two years trying to figure out what I could have done to change that day.”
“You couldn’t have done a thing.”
“I could have listened to her, really listened instead of dismissing everything she wanted as frivolous foolishness. You see, you’re not the only Decker who thought he knew what was best for everyone around him. It took a lot of reading God’s Word and really paying attention to what it said to see what a fool I’d been.”
“I was the fool.”
“We’re all fools until we put our lives in the Lord’s hands. Now let’s go inside out of this rain and see if Mrs. Calloway has any news on your Pearl.”
“My Pearl?” Roland didn’t miss the wording.
“Yep. Yours.” Garrett grinned. “If you stop acting like a fool.”
* * *
Pearl awoke with a start, and the blissful dreams of Roland kissing her cheek vanished under a blanket of pain. Each breath made her cough. The tiniest movement of air against her legs hurt.
She coughed again, and the memories flooded back. The fire. Roland must have begun burning the debris piles, and the fire got out of hand. He should have known better with all that wind.
By the time Angela Wardman spotted the smoke, the blaze raced toward the schoolhouse. She’d sent the children out of the building with Amanda, but Sadie was missing. She’d found the little girl surrounded by fire and had walked through the scorched ground to get to her. A second later, the fire had grown. Roland wanted her to hand over Sadie, but she couldn’t extricate the girl and kitten from her arms. So she’d run through the fire. After that, the memories faded except for the feeling of being left behind. Alone. Abandoned.
Then where did that dream of the kiss come from? She tried to lift a hand to her cheek but her arm felt incredibly heavy.
“That cough is going to last a while,” an unfamiliar man said over her head.
She squinted to make out a silver-haired, bespectacled man in a black suit.
“I’ve dressed the burns on her legs with carron oil and covered with cotton wool. Check the dressings twice a day and reapply oil and cotton wool as needed. The patient should be kept in bed for two weeks and only moved when necessary. You may give her a spoonful of laudanum if the pain becomes too much.”
So, the man was a doctor. That must mean she was the patient.
“I’m fine,” she rasped, barely audible. The effort hurt, but she must know. “The children—”
“Don’t speak,” Mrs. Calloway ordered in her most authoritative boardinghouse tone. She thrust a slate and piece of chalk at her. “Write.”
Pearl flexed her fingers. They worked, but she could not lift her arm to take the slate, least of all to write. The very thought exhausted her. Still, she had to know if Sadie had survived.
“Perhaps later,” the doctor said, removing the slate from Mrs. Calloway’s hands. “If you have a spare room, I will stay the night and check on the patient in the morning.”
“Of course. We can put you in the green room just down the hall. Let me show you there.” Mrs. Calloway’s voice drifted away along with the patter of footsteps.
Pearl let her eyes slip shut.
“Dearest.” Amanda’s familiar voice danced into Pearl’s consciousness. She clasped Pearl’s hand. “You must listen to all the doctor tells you. You must get well.”
Pearl opened her gritty eyelids to see tears in Amanda’s eyes. Was her condition so serious that Amanda feared for her well-being? Pearl tried to tell her that she was all right, but her voice failed. Her friend could tell her about the children if only Pearl could ask, but without the use of voice or hands, how could she?
Sadie? she mouthed.
Amanda’s eyes widened and then she squeezed Pearl’s hand. “Perfectly fine. All the children are unharmed.”
Pearl let out a breath of relief, but that was soon followed by irritation. None of them would have been in danger if Roland hadn’t decided to burn on such a windy day. How could he?
Amanda bubbled on, oblivious to Pearl’s thoughts. “Roland carried Sadie to safety. She’s completely untouched except for a few nicks where Cocoa grabbed hold. Oh, and the kitten is fine, too. It’s amazing how they escaped the blaze. The whole schoolhouse and yard was on fire. We gave up hope, but somehow you all survived. No one can believe it.”
Pearl let her eyelids slip shut again. Not somehow. God had protected that little girl, just as He had protected her all those years ago. Maybe her papa had prayed the same words she’d prayed years later, to spare the child if not the adult. Or maybe God had heard her own cries for help.
Her head hurt. She must rest. Two weeks at least, the doctor had said. Two weeks! How would the children continue their schooling without a teacher or a schoolhouse? She tried to ask Amanda, but nothing would come out of her mouth. She couldn’t even lift her arms to write. She lay helpless in a bed, utterly dependent.
And it was all Roland’s fault.