Chapter Twenty-One

Alexa hurried through the front door of her house carrying plastic shopping bags. No doubt Rafe was wondering where she’d been. Lines at the home improvement store had held her up. Hopefully the repairs and repacking the stuff Brad had taken out wouldn’t take too long. She wanted to get back to the studio and indulge in her latest fantasy of smearing pastry sugar on Rafe and taking her time licking it off.

“I’m back,” she called out. He didn’t answer. She went to the kitchen.

He leaned back against the counter with his arms crossed over his chest. He stared down at his booted feet.

“Sorry I took so long. The store was really crowded.” She placed the bags and her purse on the counter across from him. As she started to approach, Rafe looked up.

His direct stare made her falter. “What’s wrong?”

“Have you changed your mind about moving to Seattle?”

She’d thought more about that last night but hadn’t told anyone what she was considering yet. Not even Nat and Cori. “Who told you that?”

“It doesn’t matter who told me. What matters is that I didn’t hear it from you.”

“There was nothing to tell.”

“Just like there was nothing for you to tell me about you getting re-engaged to Brad?”

“What? No.” Confusion jumbled her words. “Brad and I aren’t together. We’re not seeing each other.”

“That’s not what he said.” Rafe uncrossed his arms. He held up the ring box, then slapped it down on the counter beside him. “You accepted this back from him, did you not?”

He must have found it looking for tools. She’d forgotten it was in the drawer. “Not really. Brad left it here.”

“Did you put it back on your finger?”

Only to admire how pretty it was one last time. “Yes, but not be—”

He waved away her excuse. “Forget it. I don’t even know why I’m asking these questions. It doesn’t matter.” Rafe pushed away from the counter.

“Wait. Let me explain.”

“No need.” His expression remained neutral. His green eyes were just as cool. “Our agreement was just until you left for Seattle or the time it didn’t work for one of us anymore. Well, I’m at the point where it’s not working for me. I’m out.”

He left the kitchen. The front door shut.

Alexa stood by the counter in disbelief, her feet rooted in the same spot as Rafe’s questions about her and Brad played through her mind.

While she was gone, Brad must have come by. Ego, jealousy, whatever the reason, he’d lied to Rafe about them getting back together. She’d kill him when she saw him. But first, Rafe needed to listen to her.

The sound of him revving up his car’s engine filtered in.

She ran to the front door but stopped short of opening it. Rafe hadn’t trusted her enough to give her a chance to explain…but it didn’t matter. He’d said he’d reached the point where their relationship wasn’t working for him. But maybe if she explained, he’d believe her. Alexa gripped the door handle.

“I’m out.”

She’d naïvely interpreted Brad’s cheating behaviors as something else. Was she really going to ignore what Rafe had plainly said to her?

As the sound of his car faded away, she released the handle and rested her forehead against the door. How much clearer did he need to make it? They made an agreement. She wouldn’t embarrass herself by running after him.

Alexa blinked back tears. No crying. It was stupid to be upset. Things were destined to end soon between them anyway, right? But she’d never anticipated them ending their arrangement this way. Or for going their separate ways to hurt so much. She was totally unprepared for this shit. A sad, bitter laugh escaped her. She didn’t even have wine or chocolate ice cream in the house to help her over the hump.

Ten minutes later, Alexa was standing in front of the glass refrigerator holding the ice cream at the grocery store. Cold air wafted around her. She tossed pints of chocolate brownie and chocolate chip ice cream into her wire basket, then grabbed two pints of chocolate peanut butter cup. Figuring out her life was going to take a while. She should stock up. Alexa let go, and the door smacked shut.

Across the aisle, a slim, middle-aged blonde wearing yoga gear and tennis shoes pushed a cart filled with fresh vegetables, chicken breasts, and a box of oat bran. As the woman opened the door to the frozen berries section, she glanced down at Alexa’s basket.

In the past Alexa would have smiled an apology or made some comment to explain away her load of comfort food. Instead, she squared her shoulders. Judge me all you want, Miss Perfect. Right now, my life sucks. Prepared for a look of condemnation, the woman’s eyes narrowed briefly as she glanced at her instead. A dawn of recognition came over the blonde’s face, followed by a compassionate smile. She knew Alexa’s pain.

The small gesture of understanding brought the sting of threatening tears to Alexa’s eyes. That was sisterhood for you. She nodded to the woman and trudged away before she made a complete fool of herself by asking for a hug. She could really use one. At times like this, she would have called Nat and Cori, but she hadn’t really talked to them in weeks. She’d just responded to their text inquiries with good, TTYL, and emoji kissing smiley faces and hearts. When she’d checked in on them, she’d received the same. Something was going on with them, but she didn’t have a clue what it was. Then again, she’d been kind of busy too. Although, not anymore…

At the end of the aisle, Alexa turned left, scooted past a small traffic jam in front of the dairy and egg fridges, and headed for the aisle marked “wine.”

She hadn’t needed to talk her life out with them. For a while, things had been incredibly simple. She woke up to Rafe and had coffee with him, as well as a quickie before she went to work. More days than not, she’d sat smiling at her desk thinking about him. Everyone at work thought she was happy about moving to Seattle, but she’d been caught up in anticipating the hours when she could go home and see him again. Home. His studio had quickly become that for her, even more than her own house. The intimacy of the small place hadn’t felt constricted or cluttered with things. It had felt like it was filled with…love. She was flat-out in love with Rafe, and now he was gone.

A repressed sob sucked the air out of her lungs and forced her to take shallow breaths. Hold it together. She wasn’t going to lose her shit on the way to aisle nine for everyone to see. She’d grab some liquid comfort and leave. As Alexa hurried into the wine section, emotional pressure continued to build in her chest. The selection of reds that she usually perused with interest suddenly became rows of bottles with too many names and descriptions on them to figure out. It was just like her relationships with men—a tangled vineyard of mass confusion.

Hell. Why waste time uncorking bottles? Boxed wine would do. The bigger the better, and with simple wording on the package like pour, drink, repeat.

She walked farther down and wrestled with her purse, the basket, and a box of merlot on the third shelf.

“Alexa?” She heard Nat’s voice from way down the aisle near the dairy section.

Alexa glanced that way, but didn’t see her friend, so she went back to hauling down the wine. She wasn’t even drunk yet, and she was already hearing things.

“Hey you.” Nat came toward her, bright and alluring in a rose and beige wrap dress. “Why didn’t you answer me? I called out to you three times.”

“I didn’t think it was you.”

“Who else would it be?” As she smiled and kissed Alexa on the cheek, she glanced at the boxed wine. Her expression morphed from happy to near horror. “What’s wrong?”

Alexa raised her shoulder, trying to prevent the strap of her purse from sliding down her arm. Where would she start? How could she explain just how messed up her life was? Again.

The swell of sorrow inside of Alexa expanded. She felt like a balloon ready to pop.

Nat’s eyes widened in panic as she stared at her. “Oh shit.” She snatched the boxed wine from Alexa’s fingers, slung it back on the shelf, then grabbed Alexa’s arm.

“Wait. I came here for wine.”

“I’ve got you.”

As Nat dragged her down the aisle, Alexa nearly stumbled trying to keep up. The wire basket banged into her knee. She’d have a bruise. She didn’t care. They needed to find the shortest line.

As they bypassed long cash register lines and even longer ones at the ten items or less self-checkout, Alexa put on the brakes. She had to pay for her stuff. “No. I need…I need…” Sorrow and pity gobbled up her words faster than she’d planned on eating ice cream.

Nat pried the handle of the wire basket from Alexa’s hand. She smiled indulgently, as if speaking to a child. “You won’t make it through the line. Let me get you out of here and I’ll get you allll the ice cream and wine you want.”

“Promise?”

“It’s as certain as me dancing on my ex-husband’s grave.”

“He’s not dead. Is he?”

“No, but someday he will be, and I’ve already picked out my stilettos for the occasion.” Ignoring the frowning customer service attendant standing near a closed register, Nat plunked the basket on the counter.

And then they were outside. Nat put Alexa in the front passenger seat of her Mercedes and buckled her in. “There we go.” Nat hurried around the car and hopped into the driver’s seat. Before tossing her purse behind her, she grabbed her cell from her bag. “I’m taking you to my place.”

“But I have to go home.” Even as she said it, the idea struck her as sad. All she had there were boxes, bad memories, and a ring she didn’t want. A sob bubbled up. No longer in public or restrained by manners her mother had all but tattooed on her butt, Alexa let free. Pitiful sounds she’d never made in her life erupted from deep inside of her.

Alexa continued sobbing out her misery as Nat spoke through her cell, now linked to her car system as she sped down the street. “I have no idea what happened. That’s why I’m calling you. I just found her at the grocery store wandering around buying boxed wine. Yeah, you heard me right. Boxed. Wine. No, Cori. I’m not driving around with a damn wounded cat. That’s Alexa.”

…

Nat stared down at Alexa as she sat on the emerald couch.

Alexa snagged a turquoise pillow and hugged it to her chest. “You can stop observing me as if my head’s about to spin off. I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?” Nat sat beside her. “In the store, you looked like one of those characters in a scary movie who suddenly have an alien or a demon jump out of them.”

Cori walked in from the adjoining kitchen carrying an extra-large wineglass filled with merlot. Straight in from where she’d been working out at the gym, she sported a cropped white tee and blue gym tights that matched her hair. “Newsflash. It’s called an emotional outburst, and she was due.” She handed Alexa the wine and took a seat on the large emerald, wood-topped ottoman in front of the couch. “You spent the entire time after Brad left comforting your mother at the church that day.”

That day. The day that completely turned her life upside down. “I cried.”

“No. The wedding planner did. Bucket loads. You sent me to hunt down more tissues for him.” Nat squeezed Alexa’s arm. “We’re not raking up the past again. We’re talking about today. What’s going on with you?”

“Get some wine and I’ll tell you. I don’t want to drink alone.”

“Oh, right.” Cori jumped up. “Nat, I meant to ask you. Where are the rest of your big wineglasses? I only see regular ones?”

“I moved them. They’re in the cabinet above the dishwasher.”

“Got it.” Cori poured up more wine in the kitchen, then returned and handed a glass to Nat before settling on the ottoman.

Alexa took a sip from her glass and swallowed against the lump in her throat. Time to fess up. First, she caught Nat up about her night with Rafe at the Bash.

“Seriously.” Nat pouted. “I can’t believe you didn’t phone me about that.”

“We tried.” Cori sipped her own wine. “But after you left the club that night, you decided to send us cryptic text messages instead of answering your phone. Remember?”

“Something came up.”

Alexa exchanged a glance with Cori. Nat’s ex. He was usually the something that always reared his ugly head in Nat’s life at the wrong time.

Nat waved away their impending questions. “I want to hear the rest of Alexa’s story.”

Nat and Cori turned their full attention on Alexa. She felt as if she were sitting under intense high beams that exposed all of the flaws, worries, and emotional secrets she’d hidden from them since the wedding. But this was Nat and Cori. They wouldn’t judge her.

She launched into her fairy tale of woe ever after and ended the tale with Rafe walking out of her house.

“All of that happened?” Nat shook her head. “Why didn’t you call or tell one of us to stop by so you could talk it through?”

“I guess I wondered if you’d think I was being too impulsive.” Alexa hugged the pillow tighter. “A hookup is one thing. I not only had a one-night stand with Rafe, but I also made an agreement to keep sleeping with him. And I temporarily moved into his place.”

“But they weren’t random choices.” With a pondering expression, Cori swirled her wine. “I think Rafe actually brought balance back into your life, and you enjoyed being with him. When Brad showed up unexpectedly, Rafe was there, and he offered you a solid place to land in a chaotic moment. Why wouldn’t you turn to him for comfort?”

Nat stared at Cori with a look of awe.

Cori frowned. “What? It’s true.”

“And it makes sense.” Nat chuckled. “I’m just shocked you came up with a theory that actually applied to earth and not just the astral plane.”

Cori smiled sweetly and flipped Nat off. “Thank you.”

“Whoa.” Nat reared back. “All right, Miss Snappy Comeback. What’s gotten into you, or is it more like, who’s gotten into you?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Cori crossed her legs. “We’re not here to talk about me. This is about Alexa.” She reached over and slipped Alexa’s empty glass from her hand and exchanged it for her half-full one. “So. You said that Brad told Rafe you’re not moving to Seattle. Any truth to that?”

“Please yes.” Nat rolled her eyes heavenward.

Cori gave a nod. “I’m with you on that.”

Alexa paused just as she was about to take a sip from her glass. “Wait. You two told me I should take the job in Seattle. You never said you didn’t want me to go.”

“Uh…yes. I kind of did.” Nat frowned. “I asked if you were sure about leaving, the night of the Bash.”

“But neither one of you said ‘don’t go.’”

Cori gave a small shrug and set the empty glass she’d taken from Alexa beside her on the ottoman. “We wanted to support you. Besides, who am I to give you advice? I gave the thumbs-up for you to marry dickhead Brad.”

Nat chuckled ruefully. “Add me to that list. Speaking of the dickhead, are we going to kidnap his ass and abandon him naked in the woods for the wildlife to feed on, or are we hiring one of Cori’s sketchy relatives to do it at a discounted rate?”

“Hey, that’s not fair.” Cori playfully kicked Nat’s shin and smiled. “No one in my family is that sketchy. Besides, if you were hiring one of my relatives, you’d have to pay them full price. Otherwise find your own criminal connection.”

“I actually do know someone.” A faint smile ghosted over Nat’s lips. “He’s not a criminal, but he could kick Brad’s ass.”

“Oh?” Cori leaned in. “Do tell? Who is he? Is he cute?”

Alexa couldn’t stop her own smile. Some of her sadness abated. She’d lost Rafe, but she wouldn’t have to go it alone. She still had her friends. “Nat, what’s gotten into you? First you want to dance all over your ex’s grave, and now you want to get rid of mine.”

“Maybe it’s what she said about me.” Cori gave Nat a smart-ass grin. “Maybe someone—not something—has gotten into her, too.”

“Very funny.” Nat glanced away and downed the last of her wine. “Like you said. We’re not here to talk about us. This is about Alexa.” She clasped Alexa’s arm. “All we want is for you to be happy. It seems like you really were, when you were with Rafe.”

“It’s not working for me. I’m out.”

He’d meant it. Tightness expanded in Alexa’s chest. “Rafe’s done with me. And even if I could patch things up with him, I have to think about my parents, too. Mom is already stressed out over the two of us dating. Maybe this is all for the best.”

“Hold on.” Cori held up her hand. “Technically you weren’t dating him. You two made a temporary arrangement to have tremendous amounts of fantastic sex as often as possible before you left for Seattle.”

“Preach.” Nat reached out to Cori and gave her a fist bump. “Cori’s on point with that observation. Damn, that’s twice. Anyway, the important distinction she’s making is that it’s a lot more shocking for your mother to hear a rumor from someone that you’re having your vagina serviced on the regular by a stripper, than it is for her to find out from you that you’re dating a legitimate business owner, especially if you give your parents a chance to meet him.”

“Rafe doesn’t want to see me again.”

“So he says. Right now, he’s angry because Brad pissed him off. Give him a day or so.” Nat gave Alexa’s arm a squeeze. “Don’t give up on him just yet.”