10

 

 

She held the receiver to her ear as she stood at the kitchen window over the sink and watched Charlie mowing the back lawn. In seconds her mind ran facts she couldn’t deny. He looked so… so manly, sitting on that mower, concentrating so hard, making sure that the mowed lines were exact. He was wearing a pair of jeans, his boots, and a denim shirt with the sleeves rolled up. She had to admit he looked good—really good—and no one would guess that he had traveled seventy-five years into her life. She watched the sunlight hit his auburn hair and sighed deeply in appreciation as he turned to start a new line. The lawn was as manicured as a putting green at a country club. He certainly did everything with precise care, whether it was folding laundry or painting the small barn at the corner of the property. A tiny part of her wondered what it might be like to make love with such a man. She bet he would be an exquisite lover, paying meticulous attention to—

“Suzanne, are you listening? This is really important.”

Shocked by her thoughts, she blinked and brought her attention back to the phone conversation. “I’m sorry, Laura,” she said, walking away from the window. “I didn’t hear that last part.” Damn, she simply had to get her mind on reality.

“Okay, I did a little creative accounting and began negotiations at seven thousand.”

“Seven? I thought we decided on six.”

“We decided on seven. They settled for six, with the stipulation that within three months you surrender the house to Kevin. That’s six thousand a month, and that doesn’t include child support, which will add another two thousand for the next eighteen years. We can always go back and renegotiate.”

“I have to move in three months?” She looked out to the family room as a sinking feeling grabbed hold of her stomach. Kevin must really want this house to pay her ninety-six thousand dollars a year to get her out.

“Suzanne, this is an opportunity to move on with your life, without any memories that must be attached to that place. He doesn’t want to fight you in court for the house. It’s in his name, but you are entitled to a portion of the marital home, regardless of the prenup. And I haven’t even told you the best part. His lawyer brought it up.”

“What’s that?” she asked, as the sinking feeling started to cause panic. As if there could be a best part to any of this. Where was she going to move?

“Kevin would like the divorce to proceed as quickly as possible.”

“Well, so do I.”

“He asks that the charge of adultery and naming Ingrid as correspondent be dropped.”

“What?”

“He asks that you file for irreconcilable differences.”

“Excuse me?” she asked in disbelief, as the panic dissolved into anger. “He wants me to protect Ingrid?”

“I know it’s shitty, Suzanne, but listen and consider this carefully. This is your future we’re discussing and he’s willing to compensate you with an offer in compromise of one point four million dollars to file for irreconcilable differences. Of course, all of this—the alimony and child support and the offer of one point four million—is before we’ve received full financial disclosure, so any of it might increase. We’d just go back to court. I think they’re dragging their feet on that until you agree to drop the adultery charge.”

She didn’t say anything. She couldn’t make her mouth form words. Her mind was reeling that Kevin would do this to her, and think he was granting her a favor by trying to buy her off! “Wait a minute,” she finally asserted. Yes, now was definitely the time to be assertive. She had never cared about money. It wasn’t why she had married Kevin and it wasn’t why she had wanted her marriage to work, but this was now hardball, like Laura had said, and Kevin McDermott was about to find out that his once pliable wife was moving up into the major leagues. “I happen to know that Kevin received thirty-three million for the land six years ago. Since then, Ingrid’s been advising him on investments, especially in e-trading, and by now he’s got to have at least doubled that. And he’s only offering me one point four million dollars to last the rest of my life and my son’s? What a greedy little bastard.”

“Wow, why didn’t you tell me this last week when you were in my office?” Laura sounded shocked. “This changes everything.”

Suzanne’s jaw was clenched and she forced herself to relax the muscles in order to speak. “I guess I was still grieving, like you said, and wasn’t thinking clearly. Now I’ve definitely segued into the anger stage.”

“Well, stay there, until this settlement is completed. If there’s anything else you think of, pick up the phone right away, please. You have my private line and my beeper number. Damn, Suzanne, this is going to be one hell of a package we’re going to put together.”

“It won’t make up for six years of my life,” she muttered.

Laura’s voice softened. “I know, Suzanne. No amount of money can take away the pain you’ve been through, the deception, but you have to start thinking about the rest of your life. You tell me how much you want me to ask for as a settlement and for dropping the adultery charges.”

Kevin must be desperate to protect his and Ingrid’s names, and the thought that her husband cared more about Ingrid than he did about her and her son almost made her nauseous. Gripping the edge of the marble counter, she said, “Ask for ten million, and don’t settle for less than six. He sold that land right after we were married. Screw the prenup. Let’s just see how much he loves Ingrid.”

“Oh, I like the way your mind works,” Laura said, and Suzanne imagined the grin of anticipation on her lawyer’s face.

“Now isn’t the time to be sentimental,” she answered in a serious voice. “Now is the time to allow my mind to work logically. I have a pretty good idea of Kevin’s worth. I know Ingrid is financially set for life with her own investments. Between the two of them six million will cause them to wobble, but it won’t break either of them.” Suddenly, she was reminded of her detailed conversation with Charlie last week after they had watched Forrest Gump. So this was her masculine side? What the hell, she was going with it.

“Okay, Suzanne, I’ve got some phone calls to make and I’ll keep you informed every step of the way. Looks like we’re on a roller-coaster ride for a while. Glad you’ve got the stomach for it, ’cause this might get really bumpy.”

Thinking about the last few weeks, she almost grinned. “I can take a roller-coaster ride, Laura. For me, this feels more like a high-wire act.”

“Well, keep your balance then, and you’ll make it to the other side.”

“Right,” Suzanne answered, picturing herself venturing out onto a thin wire. On the other side was safety, a new beginning. Laura was right. The only thing that was going to get her there was balance. “I’ll wait for your call.”

Hanging up the phone, Suzanne stared at it for the longest time. She could just imagine Kevin’s reaction when his lawyer conveyed her demands. He would hit the roof and Ingrid would calm him down and be the practical one, going over their joint finances and coming up with a counteroffer. No matter what happened, she was going to be a wealthy woman on her own. She would take care of Matty and be careful with the money she received. She would make sure that Matty was protected.

She walked away from the counter and went into the family room, where her son was sleeping in the bassinet. Staring down at him as the sun’s rays bathed him in warmth, she thought of her own upbringing. Her parents had never been wealthy. They had lived sometimes paycheck to paycheck, saving for her college education as though it was the most important thing in the world. She had taken out a student loan in her junior year at Penn when she’d realized that paying for college meant her parents would have nothing for their retirement. It had taken her years to pay off that loan, but she had come into her marriage debt free.

And then her mind brought up images of Kevin and Ingrid. She and Ingrid had met Kevin at Penn, never realizing that the three of them had grown up fifteen miles from each other. They had become fast friends and Suzanne remembered being immediately charmed by Kevin’s spontaneous nature. He was so unlike her, who always seemed to weigh every consequence before making a move. She had been overjoyed he fit in so well with her best friend, so she didn’t have to make a choice between them. The three of them went everywhere together, starting with a Bruce Springsteen concert in ’84.

She went to the bookshelves, grabbed an album, and allowed it to open randomly. Her heart seemed to flutter with pain as she gazed at a picture of them huddled in the student union, watching the TV replaying the shuttle Challenger’s explosion. It had been taken for the college newspaper. She forced herself to travel down memory lane as she viewed other pictures. They had studied together, eaten together, volunteered at Live Aid at JFK Stadium, where they actually met Madonna and Dire Straits and swore they were going to save the hungry of the world.

She sighed deeply, wondering where all their youthful enthusiasm had gone, and why making money seemed to have replaced their once altruistic natures. They had become everything they had protested against in college—capitalists. And now she was going to become a wealthy one. A part of her felt guilty about the money she would be getting, no matter what the size of it, and another part of her was relieved that she would never have to worry about money again. Maybe she could take a chunk of it and start a foundation, like Second Harvest or Habitat for Humanity. That would be one way to contribute to society and she would still feel productive if she oversaw the running of it. Realizing she didn’t have to make a decision today, she closed the album and held it to her chest, wishing she didn’t have so many good memories of people who had turned into strangers. Maybe that was the part that sliced so deeply into her heart. Well, she would move and she’d make a new life somehow, somewhere, and she would heal. At least she and Matty would be financially secure, despite having signed that prenup.

Suddenly, she saw a possible future that wasn’t quite bleak. She would be free to become whoever she wanted. But who was she, besides a mother now? Maybe it was time to find out.

Freedom. It was a startling thought, and a little frightening.

Charlie walked in the back door and she stared at the album cover. So much for tripping down memory lane. She was putting it back onto the shelf when he came into the room.

“I’ve left my shoes by the washing machine,” he announced, “just as you asked.”

She returned his smile and nodded as she followed him into the kitchen. “The lawn looks great. You could start a landscaping business.”

“Do you think?” he asked, opening the refrigerator door and taking out a container of filtered water.

She could tell he was pleased by her words and she automatically turned to the cabinet above the dishwasher and brought out a tall glass. Handing it to him, she said, “Now I’m not making that suggestion, mind you. You still work for me, remember. And speaking of that, I’m going to raise your salary.”

He stopped pouring his water and looked up at her. “Why? Already I’m making more in one week than I thought possible—and I’m not really doing much of anything.”

“Well, three hundred dollars isn’t a terrific wage in this day, even with room and board. Once I start getting money from Kevin, I was thinking about raising it to five hundred, and then when the divorce is final I’ll have enough money to make sure you’re taken care of. You won’t have to worry, Charlie.”

Putting the container of water back into the refrigerator, he shook his head. “That’s far too much, Suzanne.” He closed the door and turned back to her. “And I don’t need to be taken care of. I can do that myself. Always have, always will. What brought all this up?”

She watched as he gulped the water and how his Adam’s apple moved as he swallowed. A rush of attraction started low in her belly and began to cluster. She simply had to get control of her thoughts. It wasn’t fair—to either of them. “Kevin wants this house and is willing to negotiate for it. I will have to move, and I don’t know yet where I’ll be going. I mean, you’re welcome to come with me. I’d even appreciate it, but I don’t know what your plans are, and you need to start thinking about putting together some money for your future—wherever that will be.” There. She said it, but she didn’t mean it. She didn’t want him to leave.

“You’re moving away?” His voice sounded surprised, almost shocked.

Shrugging, Suzanne held on to the edge of the counter. “I suppose I am. I haven’t wanted to think about it, but it looks like I will be relocating somewhere.”

“But you love this house,” he protested, wiping his forehead on his sleeve.

“It doesn’t look like I will have much of a choice. This is Kevin’s family home. It’s been in his family for generations. His grandfather built the main house. His parents added on to it and then we did. His name is on the deed, not mine.”

“What kind of man would put out his wife and child?”

“Kevin McDermott, that’s who. But don’t feel too sorry for me. I intend to be compensated, well compensated. It appears I took your advice to heart about being more assertive.”

“What did you do?” he asked, trying not to smile.

“I asked for ten million dollars to change my petition for divorce to irreconcilable differences, a hazy term that can be interpreted as anything. That means I don’t have to name Kevin as an adulterer and Ingrid as correspondent.”

“Ten million!”

She actually giggled. “I know it’s outrageous! I just blurted it to Laura when she called about this. I said I would settle for six million. I didn’t even recognize my voice as my own. I sounded so sure of myself and now… now I don’t know. I guess I was angry that Kevin wants to protect Ingrid so much that he’s willing to buy me off. Anyway, we’ll see what happens. This is now a game for the lawyers.”

“Kevin has that much money?”

“Yes. He made a fortune when he sold off his family’s land to developers and then he invested very well. I told Laura that I think his worth is around seventy million. It may even be more.”

Charlie truly looked shocked. “Why, you were rich, Suzanne. Beyond rich.”

“Well, first of all, a million dollars in the twenty-first century isn’t what it was in 1926, but it’s still a great deal of money. Funny, I never felt rich. Money wasn’t important to me. I knew there was more than enough to cover our needs and anything else was Kevin’s business. At least I used to think that. Now I’m making it mine. I just want to make sure that there’s some balance here. He tried to buy me off with one point four million.” She shook her head and found herself grinning, yet she could hear the sadness in her own voice. “Even talking about figures that high seems ridiculous, unless you look at the big picture. That’s approximately one seventieth of his worth. That’s what he thinks of me. It’s time I stopped concentrating on being hurt and sentimental and started to think with both sides of my brain about this divorce.”

“You’re using your masculine side now?” he asked with a wider grin.

“You betcha!” She chuckled. “There’s a time and a place for it, and now’s the time.” She opened the freezer and said, “Enough of my problems. What would you like for dinner?” She simply had to change the subject, for the weight of it was too heavy to carry right now. She would need some quiet time to integrate it all.

“Well, I’d like to bathe. Do I have time?”

“You have time. I’ll have to defrost something. How does beef sound? Steak? I haven’t had a steak in almost a year.”

“You don’t eat beef? It was so plentiful in the grocery store.”

“I stick mostly with chicken and fish, but I stopped eating it entirely while I was pregnant. I bought the steaks for you, but for some reason I really have a taste for it tonight.”

“A thick steak sounds grand.” He finished his glass of water and put it in the dishwasher. “I’ll be back down in a bit to help.”

“Take your time, Charlie,” she called after him. “There’s no rush.”

She stared at the dishwasher. How could something so simple have such a profound effect on her? Charlie was considerate. He never left things sitting around. He was organized and yet not anal about it. It was like when he had loaded the back of the car after they’d gone shopping. At the time she’d been too upset about confronting Kevin to really take it in fully. After all their bags were in the car and Charlie had asked her what to do with the cart, she’d showed him where they were returned, and he had walked to the receptacle. He didn’t leave it at the front of the car, like Kevin did, as though walking twenty feet to be considerate of someone else was too much to ask of him.

She knew if she ever entertained the idea of marrying again, she wanted someone who walked the cart back. It was important to her. Maybe she should begin a list of attributes she wanted to find in a male one day.

 

At the top would be integrity. Most important.

Considerate.

Respectful.

Honest, but that would fall under integrity.

Giving.

Good with children.

Self-assured.

A sense of humor would be mandatory.

Sexy would be a definite plus.

 

As she stood at the freezer with cold air blowing on her, she realized she had just described Charles Garrity. Grabbing the steaks, she slammed the door and headed for the microwave. Stop these incredibly stupid mental wanderings, she warned herself as she punched in the defrost numbers.

She had a life to straighten out before she allowed such thoughts even to begin. But down deep, in a place she wasn’t quite ready to admit existed, she knew it was too late.

Charlie was mirroring for her everything she had wanted in a man, and the reflection of what had been missing in her marriage. Could it be possible that this divorce wasn’t such a terrible thing after all? She looked out the kitchen window to the back lawn and envisioned Charlie as she’d seen him earlier. Kevin had bought that riding mower three years ago as a lark, and then lost interest in it a month later. Just like he did with the sailboat that was in dry dock down at the harbor. Suddenly she felt like she was being saved from spending the rest of her life tied to a man she couldn’t respect.

She felt a surge of something within her, as though she’d broken through some barrier that was revealing an important issue. What she had once wanted was some romantic dream, of a knight in shining armor riding in as the perfect husband and father. Kevin’s armor was sorely tarnished and all those years she had just been making excuses for him as she kept on polishing—but it was never enough, and she couldn’t polish fast enough, either. In truth, she didn’t want to polish anyone’s armor anymore.

She thought about her list again, ticking off each item in her head.

Could it be possible? Was she her own knight in shining armor? She could be strong and considerate and respectful. She had integrity. In reality, all the attributes she had wanted in a husband, she had herself. Maybe she really didn’t need a man.

Then she heard the shower water running upstairs, thought of the man she now shared space with, and honestly admitted it to herself. She might not need a man, but she sure would like a partner in life someday—someone like Charlie, someone like—why, someone like herself!

She laughed at her silly thought as the microwave beeped. She and Charlie were alike. They certainly were compatible. She almost groaned when she realized that again her mind was taking her down a path that was better left untraveled. Checking on the steaks, she decided they needed more time and gave them another three minutes to defrost. Beef—she really was getting back in touch with her masculine side today.

And it felt pretty darn good.

They were falling into a routine. One of them would make dinner, the other would clean up the dishes. If she started the laundry, he would fold it. She didn’t even mind that he dealt with her underwear. They were friends. He’d seen her at her worst and accepted her. He didn’t seem to mind vacuuming, dusting, or any of the other “womanly” chores that kept a house running. He appeared to enjoy spending time with Matty when he wasn’t crying, and didn’t immediately hand the baby over when he did. He recognized when Matty needed to be changed and didn’t ask her to do it. Now that the baby’s umbilical cord had fallen off, they both gave him his baths and laughed at how much Matty enjoyed being surrounded by water.

Somehow, Suzanne felt that she had the best part of being with a man, a friendship, a partnership—that they were in it together, and would support each other no matter what.

Two days later, it shouldn’t have surprised her when, as she was putting Matty down for the night, Charlie appeared at the nursery door with a worried look on his face.

“What’s wrong?” she whispered, as she led him into the hallway.

“Someone is here to see you.”

“Now? Who is it?”

“A woman. She said her name is Ingrid. She’s the one who used to be your friend, isn’t she?”

Suzanne felt a wash of anger and dread. “Tell her I’m busy. I don’t want to see her.”

“I told her you were with the baby and she said she would wait. She’s in the house.”

“I don’t care. Tell her to leave.” Really, what nerve, to barge in here without calling.

“Don’t get upset. I’ll handle it.” He turned to leave.

She watched him descend the stairs when all of a sudden she called out, “Wait!”

Charlie turned around on the stairway.

“Tell her I’ll be down in a few minutes.”

“You’re up to this?”

“Might as well get it over with. I can’t postpone talking to her forever.”

“Right,” he said with a nod and a smile of encouragement while turning to go down the rest of the stairs.

Suzanne took a deep breath and then nearly ran into her bedroom. She threw open her closet and surveyed her wardrobe. She still couldn’t wear most of her clothes, but she was determined to look the best she could when she had this confrontation. And she knew it was going to be one hell of a confrontation too. If Ingrid wanted this, then she intended to get some answers. The truth might be nice for a change.

Flipping through a row of blouses, she picked one that she’d worn in the beginning of her pregnancy. It was pale yellow silk and would go well with her jeans. She could leave it out to hide the small belly that she still had. No time to change pants. She pulled off the cotton sweater she’d worn all day, dropped it to the floor, and then quickly put on the blouse as she hurried into the bathroom. Looking at herself in the mirror, she was grateful she had washed her hair that very morning and she only needed to fluff the short curly wisps around her face. She opened a drawer and grabbed concealer, mascara, blush, and lipstick. Within minutes she finished and then took a deep breath as she surveyed her reflection.

She looked fairly put together and was presentable. Maybe too much lipstick. She was at home, after all, and didn’t want Ingrid to think she’d gone through all this for her, which of course she had. Grabbing some toilet paper, she wiped off her lipstick. There. That was better.

Suzanne squared her shoulders, nodded back to her reflection, and left the bathroom figuring she was as prepared as she was going to get. She kept her chin held high as she walked down the steps. Ingrid was sitting in the family room. Her back was to Suzanne but she could tell Ingrid was sitting stiffly. It was obvious she was uncomfortable being in the house. A flash of all the evenings Ingrid had thrown her feet up onto the sofa and shared a glass of wine and an evening of companionship played out in seconds, but Suzanne wiped those memories away. That was the past. She had to learn, and remember, that the past was over.

“Ingrid.” She said her name as she walked around the front of the sofa and sat in a wing chair by the fireplace. She said no more, not wanting to encourage any degree of friendship. That had definitely ended.

“I know why Kevin is intimidated by this man who’s living with you now. He seems very protective of you.”

“I don’t think that’s what you came here to discuss. Or are you now spying for Kevin?”

Ingrid seemed to swallow hard. Her hands were tightly clasped together in her lap. “Thanks for seeing me, Suzanne,” she said in a low voice, as she started over. “I need to talk to you, to tell you how sorry I am for everything. Neither one of us planned to hurt you like this, but—”

“Excuse me?” She really had no intention of interrupting, wanting to make this as difficult as possible for Ingrid, but that last statement just couldn’t be ignored. “Neither of you planned on hurting me?” she asked in an incredulous voice. “Just what did you think sleeping together was going to do to me? Or didn’t you think at all?”

“I don’t know how to say this…”

“If you came here to make some statement, then just make it. But do try to keep to the truth. You can recognize truth, right?”

“Please, Suz—just hear me out. I know we’ve deceived you and hurt you. I know I can never make this right, but the truth had to come out.”

She refused to allow Ingrid to ingratiate herself by using her nickname or by the tears that were gathering at her dark eyes. Grinding her back teeth to remain in some semblance of control, Suzanne muttered, “The truth finally did come out. When Kevin told me he’d been screwing around with you for over a year… my God, who are you? I don’t even know you anymore. I wonder if I ever did.”

“You knew me, Suzanne,” she said with a sniffle. “I loved you like a sister and—”

“Stop,” Suzanne interrupted. “Do not say that. Remember, we’re sticking to the truth now.”

“Okay,” Ingrid said with a deep shuddering sigh. She wiped her eyes, and looked directly across the space that separated them. “You just didn’t know all of me, the part of me that has loved Kevin since our senior year of college.”

Now that stopped her. “You loved Kevin for all these years?” Just when she thought nothing could surprise her… this!

Things started falling into place. All those nights together, the three of them, laughing and playing with each other. A few times she’d noticed that Kevin’s hands would linger a fraction of a second too long on Ingrid, but she’d put it down to too much wine. Now she knew the flirtatious friendship had been more than that. No wonder every man Ingrid dated turned out to be the wrong one. “How long, Ingrid?” she demanded. “Tell me the truth. Kevin said it had only been a year. Now I want to know it all.”

“It started in college when you two were dating,” she muttered, glancing at Suzanne and then looking down to her knees. “Just one night when you had to come home for your aunt’s funeral. We were drinking and… one thing led to another and we wound up in bed together. Suzanne, I’d never had a night like that before.”

“I don’t want the details,” Suzanne spit out, wondering if Ingrid was talking about the same man. Kevin was never a hot lover. Kind of methodical and—

“Well, we both knew we never should have done it, but we just couldn’t stop seeing each other. We were always thrown together because… well, because we both wanted to be with you too. It’s like we had to fight the attraction.”

“So this took place the entire time?” Suzanne asked in a weird fascination that was mixed with outrage and disbelief. It was like watching a shipwreck from outside her own body.

“Sometimes we could fight it for two or three years and then—”

“Wait. Are you telling me that you and Kevin have been having these… these sexual romps on and off for over fifteen years?”

Ingrid looked as if she had been hit as she slumped back on the sofa. She put her hand over her eyes and nodded as she tried to control her tears.

Suzanne couldn’t have cared. She shot up out of her chair and stared at the woman, this stranger who sat on her sofa. “Why the hell did he ever marry me, then?”

Ingrid looked up at her. “I… wouldn’t marry him.”

Now Suzanne felt like some invisible fist had punched her in the gut. Immediately she wound her arms across her belly, as though to protect it. “What do you mean, Ingrid?” she demanded, though a part of her didn’t want to hear the answer.

“You know me, Suzanne,” she said, sniffling and wiping the moisture off her cheek. “I was on the fast track. I told myself I couldn’t settle for a fruit farmer, even if his family owned the biggest orchard in the county. I wanted more.”

“And you got more when Kevin sold the land, is that it? Then he was good enough for you?” My God, this was worse than a soap opera!

“I don’t need his money. You know I’ve done very well for myself.”

“Why did he marry me, Ingrid?”

The woman shook her head, as if she couldn’t say it. “You never deserved all this, Suzanne,” she muttered against a stream of fresh tears.

“Why did he marry me, Ingrid?” she nearly yelled.

When she saw that Ingrid wasn’t capable of telling her, she found her own throat pushing air past her teeth, past her lips, forming words. “He married me to stay close to you, my best friend.” She sank back onto the chair and stared at the rug under the coffee table. “He lied to me, used me, deceived me into thinking he loved me when he really loved you, but couldn’t have you!”

Ingrid started crying small sobs, and shaking her head. “You… you never deserved this. I couldn’t tell you. I started to once, but then I was afraid of losing our friendship.”

“What friendship?” Suzanne demanded, still reeling from the shock. “It was one-sided. My God, the two of you… all these years… trusting you both… thinking how great it was that we were all so close. He married me to stay close to you!”

Ingrid didn’t say anything and Suzanne’s mind was spilling out thoughts one on top of the other. “This means the prenup is null and void. He married me under false pretenses.”

Ingrid’s face was ravaged as she looked up at her. “I’ll never testify to what I’ve just told you, Suzanne. I… I just thought it was time you knew the truth. You never deserved this. And having your baby all alone like that. God, I’m so very sorry about all of it.”

Ingrid’s flow of tears couldn’t penetrate what was wrapping around her heart. Where had she been all these years not to have known something like this was happening? She and Kevin had broken up after college while she started her career, but he’d kept pursuing her through the years, off and on they had dated, while she had dated others, until six years ago, when she honestly had thought Kevin McDermott must surely love her never to have given up on her. And all this time it had been about Ingrid, staying as close as possible to the one constant woman in her life, the woman who wouldn’t marry him. She felt so foolish for trusting, for loving them both. She stared at her once best friend, who was shaking her head and crying.

“So now you’ll finally marry him, after the two of you have played God with my life. You both used me.” Just saying it made bile rise in her throat.

“It must seem that way to you, but I never wanted to hurt you. Especially like this. But yes, I want to be married now.”

It was as though a bolt of lightning came right through the roof and slammed her smack in the head. Ingrid looked pretty bad, tired and worn, and it couldn’t all be a result of her guilt. Suzanne whispered the insane thought that was flashing in her mind like a neon sign.

“You’re pregnant, aren’t you?”