13

 

 

“Charlie, are you sure you won’t come in? I could make you some coffee. We could sit around and talk… and just let the night take us where it will.”

“Ah, Jennifer McGee, you are a temptress. But I’m a proper gentleman and I’ve delivered you to your door, as I should. Off with you now, lass!”

Instead of getting out of the car, Jen raised her face and laughed at his words. Sighing deeply, she rested her head against the cushioned headrest and looked at him with those beckoning eyes. “You can stay the night, if you want. I mean, if you’re too tired to drive home, or anything.”

He grinned, flattered by her interest. “Are all women so accommodating? Coffee and a place to rest my head?”

“You know that isn’t what I meant. I like you, Charlie, but I’m guessing the car seat in the back means you’ve got commitments, huh?”

He swung his head around to the back of the car and saw Matty’s baby seat. Maybe a little too fast, for his head began to swim a few seconds. Steadying himself, he said, “Aye, that. Why, that belongs to a friend of mine. This isn’t my automobile.”

“Auto-mobile,” she repeated and giggled. “You sure do talk funny sometimes, and you’re so proper, but I’m glad that car seat isn’t yours,” she added, leaning closer to him and touching the arm of his shirt. As she ran her fingers lightly over the material, she sighed again. “C’mon, Charlie, let’s go inside and we can talk. I know almost nothing about you.”

He looked down at her hand on his shirtsleeve. She wore several silver rings on her thin fingers and her nails were creating a reaction. He almost shivered. Young Jen had been flirting with him for over three hours now, and a man could only be so strong. “Lass, you’d best be taking yourself up that walk and into your home. The last thing you’d be wanting to know is anything about me.”

“Oh, you’re wrong, Charlie,” she whispered, coming even closer, so that he could feel her breath on his cheek. “I want to know everything about you.”

“And I am most assuredly flattered, Jennifer McGee,” he answered, trying not to look in her eyes. “But the truth of the matter is, you wouldn’t believe me if I told you. It’s best for us both that we not go down that path.”

“You know when you drink your accent is more pronounced?”

“Aye, so I’ve been told,” he answered with a grin.

“And Charlie?”

“Hmm?” Lord, but would she stop looking at him with those soulful eyes.

“I’d go down that path with you,” she breathed.

He stared at her full lips and although a part of him wanted to kiss her, he suddenly found that he couldn’t. And that annoyed him to no end! Straightening his upper body, he clutched the steering wheel. “No, you don’t,” he muttered, staring out to the night and the parked automobiles.

Jen also straightened. “You’re not even going to kiss me?” she asked in a shocked voice.

“No, lass, I’m not. ’Tisn’t my place.”

“You are committed!” she accused.

“I am not. There’d be no committing to the impossible.”

“Who is she?”

“She?”

“The one who’s holding your heart, Charlie Garrity.”

He sighed deeply and relaxed against the headrest. Closing his eyes, he murmured, “She’s a lovely woman, Jennifer McGee. Aye, truly a woman to be treasured.”

“So why aren’t you with her now?”

“Because,” he drew in a deep breath before continuing, “I stormed away from her earlier tonight.”

“What did she do?”

“She didn’t do anything. It was… well… I just couldn’t be around her another moment. I couldn’t breathe. I was fighting myself to keep away from her,” he said with an exhale. “So, I just had to get out.”

“So,” she repeated, “this woman doesn’t know how you feel?”

He opened his eyes and looked at her. “I could never tell her. She deserves more than me. I have nothing to offer.”

Jen sighed, as though with annoyance. “Men. How the hell can you expect her to know if you don’t tell her? Tell her, Charlie. If you love her, she deserves to know!”

“You don’t understand the whole of it. This is a woman of… of substance. In a few weeks, I’ll be nothing but a drifter. I’ve lost everything. It just isn’t meant to be—her and me.”

“I’ll tell you what isn’t meant to be. If you don’t tell her, you’re making her choice for her and then you’re right. It will never be. But you aren’t even giving her a chance. Shit, I can’t believe I’m talking myself right out of this, but you’re one of the good guys, Charlie. Any woman would be crazy to let you go.”

He listened to her words and found himself grinning. “I think you’re one of the good ones, too. ’Tis a shame you aren’t living your dream.”

“Looks like neither one of us is. Instead, we’re sitting in someone else’s car, talking about not having the courage to get on with our lives. Could you stand it, Charlie, if you never tried with her? Are you willing to walk away and never know what might have been?”

“That I don’t know, lass,” he whispered. “There’s more to it. She’s not yet divorced, and has been sorely used by those she trusted. I can’t and don’t want to take advantage of her situation.”

“You don’t want to be the rebound guy.”

“Rebound guy?”

“Yeah, when someone is hurt and vulnerable and is looking to fill the void in their life they get involved with someone, instead of healing first. Believe me, I did it enough times until I realized that all I was doing was attracting losers, guys who were as damaged as I was. Now I don’t get into relationships. I’m willing to wait for the right one.”

“You deserve the right one, Jen,” he said with a smile of friendship. “Thanks for understanding about tonight. It certainly seems to me you’re a very wise young woman.”

“Hey, it’s taken me years to get this way,” she said with a laugh. “Okay, so I was coming on to you, but I wasn’t looking for a relationship, or anything serious. I’ve learned my lesson and I’ve yet to finish getting my own act together. But don’t think I wouldn’t have shown you a hell of a good time, Charlie.”

He laughed. “You’re a true gem, Jennifer McGee.”

“Oh, and there’s the blarney if I’ve ever heard it. Listen to me. Go to her, Charlie. Tell her. Don’t leave without giving it a chance. You know you’d always regret it.”

He looked out the window again, thinking about Suzanne. “You may be right.”

“Of course I’m right!” she answered with a chuckle. “I know women. And I’m starting to understand men.”

He turned his attention back to her. “May I ask you a question, Jen? It may sound ridiculous to you.”

“Go for it. Might as well impart some of my vast expertise,” she said with another laugh.

“Well, what I’m wanting to know is this. Do you think men, males, have a part of them that’s female?”

“Ahh, you talking bisexual here?” Her voice was cautious.

“Bi-what?”

“Bisexual. Uhmmm, are you attracted to guys too?”

His body stiffened. “No. Certainly not. No, mat’s not what I’m saying.”

She patted his arm. “Calm down, Charlie. It was just a question.”

“Well, the answer is no. Just forget it,” he said, embarrassed for even bringing it up. “I was talking about something else.”

“Okay.” There was a prolonged moment of silence, until Jen perked back up. “Oh, you’re asking about a man being in touch with his feminine side?”

Relieved that she had heard of it, he breathed, “Yes. That. You think it’s true?”

“Is that why you took her car and wound up at a bar? You had a fight about it?”

“How did you know that?”

Smiling, she answered, “I told you I’m almost an expert now.”

“Well, yes. Partly about that. I mean, I read a book about it, but I don’t feel this female side in me and I can’t make myself do it.”

“Who said you have to feel female? Who said you have to feel anything but who you are? All that means is that you aren’t afraid to express how you do feel, that you aren’t cut off from your emotions, even ones that are traditionally thought of as feminine. I know men are wired different than females, and I’m not expecting them to cry at the drop of a hat, but I won’t ever again get involved with a man who avoids his feelings, or is intimidated by mine. I’ve had enough macho men. I used to think they made me feel more secure, but I was just avoiding my own strength.”

“She said that word. Macho.”

Jen laughed. “Yeah, well it takes some time to figure out the difference between macho and manly. At least it did for me.” She turned in her seat to see him better. “See, Charlie, I want a partner, an equal partner. Not one in a position of strength and the other submission. There’s no superior sex in an equal partnership. You work together for the partnership. That’s what’s important. Not individual egos. Maybe that’s what she was trying to tell you.”

“Where did you learn all this?” She certainly was a smart young woman.

“Hey, I’ve watched Oprah. Seriously, I’ve read a lot and experienced enough drama in my life to now know what I want.”

“Well, you deserve it. And I hope you find it.”

“Thanks, Charlie. You deserve it too.” She leaned over and kissed his cheek. “Now, go back and talk to her. She should know how you feel.”

“Thank you, Jen. I’m glad you sat down next to me tonight.”

“Hey, it was meant to be, bucko. Nice meeting you, too,” she said as she opened the car door. Closing it, she blew him a kiss and said, “Thanks for the ride home. Be happy, Charlie Garrity.”

“You, as well, Jennifer McGee,” he called out. “You as well.” Now he felt sober enough to drive to the farm. Maybe Jen was right. Maybe their meeting and their discussion was meant to be. Aye, what did he know? Only that he couldn’t wait to get back and see Suzanne. If he’d learned only one thing tonight it was that he didn’t want just any woman.

Heaven help him. He wanted Suzanne.

 

“Where have you been ?”

“Now, now, Suzie, no need to be gettin’ your dander up,” he said as he walked in the front door and dropped the keys onto the hall table. “A man sometimes needs some space to figure out life’s problems and—”

“Don’t you ‘Suzie’ me!” she interrupted, the edges of her robe flapping as she marched up to him in a fine lather. “Do you have any idea what I’ve been through tonight?”

Now why was she shrieking like a harridan when he wanted to talk sweet to her? “I just stepped out for a pint, though it really wasn’t a pint. A tall glass of Guinness, it was. No harm done at all. Just some Guinness and good conversation. All’s fine.”

She looked horrified. “You’ve been drinking!” she accused.

He tried to smile, but she really did look like a harridan after all, with her curls sticking up in all directions. “I just said I was. Guinness.” What was wrong with her now?

“This is unbelievable,” she continued to rant, as she waved her arms around her like she was about ready to take flight. “Here I am, at my wit’s end, ready to call nine-one-one to find out what’s wrong, and you… you’re in some bar drinking!”

“Now calm down, lass, and tell me what’s happened,” he said in a soothing voice. He was about to give her a sweet smile, but was not prepared for her to curl her fingers into fists and place them firmly on her hips.

“It was Matty.”

“The lad?” He looked toward the stairs. If anything had happened to him, he’d never forgive—

“Yes. The lad,” she mimicked. “He was screaming in pain and… and I had no idea how to help him. I didn’t have the car or I would have taken him to the emergency room at the hospital. So I called instead.”

“Suzanne, is the child all right?” He couldn’t stand the suspense while she told him every detail.

“Well, he is now, thank heavens. When the nurse asked if I was nursing him, she then asked what I had eaten for dinner. I didn’t know pizza would cause such gas for him. I’m telling you he was in excruciating pain. I couldn’t calm him and I can’t nurse him until tomorrow. He finally passed the gas and then fell asleep from exhaustion. I just put him down.”

“Suzanne, it was gas. He’s all right. There’s no need for this excitement now.” She was such a conscientious mother. He smiled at her and added, “The crisis has passed.”

“Oh, then, on top of everything, I’m worried about you!” Shaking her head, as if she didn’t even hear his last words, she gathered the edges of her robe and tied the belt tightly. “How dare you storm out of here with no explanation and then come home drunk and—”

“I am not drunk,” he interrupted, straining not to lose his good mood.

“You are so. You’re slurring your words and pouring on the Irish accent, like that’s supposed to charm me or something.”

“Suzanne, don’t speak to me as if I am a child.” She really was pushing it.

“Don’t act like one, and I won’t. You don’t even have a license to drive a damn car, let alone drive it after you’ve been drinking! It’s against the law! You could have been arrested for that and I wouldn’t be able to get you out of jail. How would I even explain who you are?”

He smiled at her and closed the few feet separating them. “All your worrying and I’m fine. Now, calm yourself down, and I’ll make us both a cup of tea and we can talk this out like adults and—”

“Adults? Do you think your behavior tonight was responsible?”

“I have been very responsible, more than you can ever know,” he said, walking toward the kitchen. “And I am not slurring my words,” he added, making sure he enunciated each one perfectly.

“Well, you’re not now, but you were when you first came in,” she said from behind as she followed him into the kitchen. “Honestly, Charlie, you can’t drink and then get behind the wheel of a car. It’s not just irresponsible, it’s breaking the law.”

“I’ve heard you, Suzanne.” He put the kettle on to boil and then turned to the cabinet. “Do you want some tea then?”

She shook her head.

He merely sighed as he brought out a tea bag. So much for talking to her tonight. The way she was staring at him, with her arms folded across her stomach, told him to back off as far as possible. And then young Jennifer’s words ran through his head. Tell her.

“And another thing,” she began, as she leaned against the refrigerator. “I know that you’ve been cooped up with me and Matty for six weeks now. I understand you need a break. Sometimes I feel like I need one too. I’m not keeping you prisoner. I’m not stifling you. At least that’s not my intention. If you can’t breathe, then…”

“Enough of this talking.” It was time for some action. He cut off her words as he came to stand directly in front of her and stared into her wide blue eyes. He’d had enough words tonight. “Then?”

She was startled by his close proximity, and yet he didn’t back off. “Then…” she barely mumbled, still staring into his eyes, as though she couldn’t look away.

“Aye, Suzie… haven’t we had enough words for tonight?” He could feel her breath on his chin as she stared at his mouth. He could sense her breasts, mere inches from his chest, moving up and down with each shortened breath.

“I was… was just going to say that if you can’t breathe around me, maybe it’s… it’s because…”

“Save your breath,” he murmured, right before he lowered his mouth to hers and pressed her body back against the refrigerator with his. He grabbed her hands and curled his own around them. He felt her body stiffen with surprise and then slowly, sweetly, she melted into him as she clasped her fingers deeply into his own.

It was everything he had imagined and more. Her lips… so tender and yet now responding, matching his passion with her own. Magnets fell to the floor, along with the rental agreement, and neither of them cared as the astonishing kiss deepened with intensity.

Dear God in heaven, she tasted so sweet and, when he heard a moan low in her throat, he pressed his mouth even more firmly against hers, exploring her, grinding his body into hers, feeling her luscious breasts crushing against his chest, her heartbeat pounding with his own need to melt with her, until there was no longer any separation between them.

She slowly broke the kiss and gasped for breath, as he began to kiss her temple softly, running his mouth ever so gently over her throbbing pulse. “Ah, Suzie… sweet, sweet woman,” he murmured against her warm skin. “I’ve waited so long.”

“I…” Her breath at his neck was ragged.

He broke the embrace and leaned back to see her face. She was flushed. Her eyes were almost glazed. Her lips appeared full and sensuous. She looked like a woman well kissed.

“You what?” he whispered with a soft smile.

“I… I don’t know what to say.” She extricated her hands from his and pushed her hair away from her forehead. It too was glistening with a sudden sheen.

Hearing her words, he backed up a bit to give her more room. “Have I offended you?”

She shook her head. “No… not at all. I… ah. You startled me, that’s all. Save my breath, huh? Well, I would if you hadn’t just plundered it.” She giggled with nervousness.

Now he really backed up. What was that supposed to mean? She was making fun of him? “It appears I have offended you, Suzanne. My apologies. Blame it on the drink.”

“Wait a minute,” she called out as the kettle whistled and he walked toward the stove. “I wasn’t offended, Charlie, but you have been drinking. It’s just that this… this isn’t like you.”

“You may very well be right,” he stated, feeling a cold dread wrapping around his heart. How could he have misjudged her and the situation? He had no right to plunder her, as she put it. “Please accept my apologies,” he said as he poured the water into the cup. “I had no right to accost you.”

“Charlie, you didn’t accost me. In fact, I enjoyed it very much.” She ran her fingers nervously through her hair. “It’s just that it came out of nowhere. I wasn’t prepared.”

“I understand, Suzanne. Please, let’s just forget it happened.”

“But I don’t want to—”

“Let’s forget it,” he interrupted, looking her directly in the eye. “It was a mistake and I apologize. Why don’t you get some sleep? You look exhausted.”

She seemed to pull herself together, straightening her body and her robe. “You think it was a mistake?”

It took him a few seconds before he could force the word past his lips.

“Yes. I do.”

She simply nodded and slowly walked away from him. He stared down at his cup of tea and wished he could just disappear. Soon. As soon as he had her and Matty moved into the new home, he would leave. Tonight had taught him it was the right decision.

 

She fell into bed, not even checking on Matty. God in heaven, please let him sleep, she prayed. Curling her body around a pillow, she could still feel Charlie’s lips upon her own. She’d been rattled. More than rattled. She was unprepared for it, the way he took her mouth, the intensity of that kiss. And then when it ended, she’d ruined it by trying to make a joke. But how was she supposed to have reacted when her body was still vibrating? God, it was like nothing she’d ever experienced before! She didn’t know if it had been because of the kiss, or if she’d been feeling the motor vibration of the refrigerator!

Damn it, she had been rattled!

Just thinking about that brief encounter in front of the refrigerator was enough to make a moan slip from her lips again. She was as bad as Ryan’s Daughter… she’d never known it could be that passionate, making her mindless. And now, Charlie wasn’t even comfortable in her presence. How was she going to fix this one? Okay, so she was beginning to exercise more assertiveness and command in her life, but she couldn’t exactly walk up to him, throw him down on the sofa and tell him she’d finish what he’d started. And, oh… how her body was pleading with her to do just that.

It was shameful. She was shameful. But that kiss had unlocked something within her she hadn’t even known existed. She wanted mindless passion, and she wanted it with Charles Garrity.

Somehow, she had to fix this.