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Walking through the door of English, I scanned the room hoping to see Mrs. Clark. My hopes were dashed to find Mr. Farber behind the desk. Why did he have to be here?
I slid into my seat and took out my book. I left my jacket on because the heater was broken. As my classmates walked through the door, they groaned softly. No one was thrilled to see Mr. Farber in front of the class.
It wasn’t fair. Why should Mrs. Clark be gone and Cynthia still be in school? She didn’t even get suspended a day for tripping Mallory or pushing Mrs. Clark.
Mr. Farber called the class to order and the muttering stopped like someone flipped a switch. He gave us a reading assignment and sat at the desk again. The only sounds in the room were pages rustling, and an occasional creak of the seat as someone shifted their weight. I tried to concentrate on the words, but my mind kept wandering.
Jimmy Simmons drummed his pencil eraser on the desk. The rhythmic sound of the eraser bouncing off the desk surface mesmerized me. Carla sniffed every couple seconds and Xavier kept clearing his throat.
I reread the same paragraph three times, and still didn’t absorb the words. I stared out the window. Just a few days ago, a gnome popped out of the bush and waved at me. When I asked for the gnome, I didn’t realize how powerful the journal was. And how much responsibility came with it.
If I’d known about the responsibility beforehand, would the journal still be blank?
I thought about what Mallory said. If it was possible to hurt someone by what I wrote, then I shouldn’t do it. A drop of guilt slid into my stomach and burned.
My last entry would hurt Dad’s new wife, Holly. But she hurt Mom and me first. Didn’t that make it okay?
According to Mallory, it didn’t. She didn’t even like when I gave Cynthia warts for tripping her.
My guilt grew and the snarling panther from my dream filled my head.
But it was already written. I couldn’t change what I wrote. And I couldn’t undo it. I’d tried with Tatiana, and it didn’t work. I curled over my desk and rested my forehead on the edge. What should I do?
“Miss Ashby.”
Mr. Farber’s voice cut through my thoughts.
“This is not nap time. I suggest you continue your reading.”
Snickers rippled through the class, and my cheeks flamed.
I pulled the book closer and started reading again. Before the end of the paragraph, I looked out the window. I couldn’t concentrate today. I thought about the gnome again. He didn’t stick around, because I didn’t have anything for him to do outside of showing up. And he didn’t hurt anyone, so nothing went wrong with that experiment.
Same with the unicorn. No one got hurt and nothing bad happened. Things went a little awry with Tatiana, but ultimately Mallory loved having a fairy. Plus she had a living science experiment in her bedroom. And for Mallory, that was close to heaven.
But every time I wrote something that would hurt someone, things went wrong.
Catastrophically wrong.
Mr. Farber leading English class, wrong.
The thoughts chased around in my head, over and over again; my parents getting back together, loving each other and not arguing, Holly getting hurt. Was there a way to fix it so she wouldn’t be hurt? Would it help?
Maybe I could have Holly fall in love with someone else so she didn’t feel bad when Dad left her for Mom. I reached for the journal. My fingers touched the leather cover then I pulled my hand back.
I’d better think this through to make sure no one else would get hurt before I wrote anything. Maybe I should talk to Mallory about it after school. She seemed to understand how the journal worked better than I did.
A flash of color caught my eye. My head snapped around. I didn’t see anything. Everyone else had their head buried in their book. Maybe I should try reading again.
I saw something out of the corner of my eye again. Definitely out the window this time. The branches of the bushes quivered, but there didn’t seem to be a breeze. Was a small animal trying to find a warm place to hunker down?
I blinked. Did I just see the tip of the gnome’s hat? I rubbed my eyes. Imagination. The gnome left. Didn’t he? Plus he wore a flat cap and not the usual pointed hat.
The branches bobbed up and down. Then the gnome’s head appeared. He grinned and waved at me. I stared. Why was the gnome back? He had disappeared.
Xavier cleared his throat and I glanced down at my book just in time. Mr. Farber circulated through the room to make sure everyone was reading the right book. He didn’t trust us not to sneak another book into the open text book.
He did have a point. Jimmy Simmons sneaked a comic book in once. Mrs. Clark took it all in stride. When she saw the comic book, she asked Jimmy to read aloud. Then she used what Jimmy read to teach us about literary devices.
Thinking about Mrs. Clark, made my guilt over her absence grow. If I hadn’t made the journal entry and just let Mrs. Clark take care of Cynthia herself, she’d still be in front of the class, doing what she loved.
What if Mr. Farber came close enough to see the gnome? I turned the page so he thought I was reading the assignment. If he stopped us before the end of class and called on people to answer questions about the reading, I was in trouble. I couldn’t remember one word.
Mr. Farber stopped next to my desk and looked over my shoulder at the page number. My fingers tapped on the edge of the book. The gnome better be hiding in the bushes.
What if Mr. Farber looked out the window? Would he even recognize a gnome? I bet he’d think it was a little old man wearing a weird hat. But what if Mr. Farber called the police to remove the gnome for trespassing?
I tried not to panic and call attention to the window and turned another page. Mr. Farber moved away to terrorize the next student.
My eyes darted to the window. The gnome’s hat bobbed just over the top of the branches.
The bell rang. The tension in my shoulders lifted. I shut my book, shoved it in the backpack and hurried out the door. I needed to talk to Mallory, but first I wanted to discover what the gnome was doing in the bushes.
I waited for the rest of my classmates to head toward the lunch tables while pretending to search for something in my backpack. Once the area cleared, I dashed around the corner of the building then came to a quick halt.
I didn’t want to spook the gnome. Since he kept waving and grinning at me, I hoped when I talked to him he wouldn’t run away screaming.
As I reached the trees behind the building, I slowed. Maybe this wasn’t the best idea in the world. Maybe I should go get Mallory, in case I annoyed the gnome. I spun on my heels and headed toward the lunch tables.
Mallory would come with me. She hadn’t seen the gnome the last time he showed up.
As I looked around the tables trying to spy Mallory, Cynthia glared at me.
Oh, great. Mallory sat one table away from Cynthia. I swore she stalked us. When I stopped next to the table, Mallory scooted to make room for me. I dropped my backpack on the ground and straddled the bench.
Mallory stopped mid chew. “Where’s your lunch, Angela?”
I flung my arm toward my backpack but didn’t turn my head. “I don’t have time to eat.” I scanned the tables to make sure no one paid us any attention. Only Cynthia and she looked thoughtful. Everyone else still chattered about the explosion while they ate or pelted food at one another.
I cupped my hands around my mouth and leaned in to whisper in Mallory’s ear. Or speak softly. A whisper would never be heard by anyone in this uproar. “The gnome is back and he’s behind the English building.”
Mallory’s head swiveled toward mine and her eyebrows rose. “Really?” She motioned me to bring my head close to hers. “I thought he disappeared the other day.”
“He did. I haven’t seen him since.” My eyes swept the surrounding tables again. “But during reading time I saw him in the bushes.”
Mallory arched back, her eyes widening. “Wow.”
I leaned closer. “Will you come with me? I want to talk to him and learn why he’s here.”
I sensed, rather than heard, the flutter of Tatiana’s wings.
“Angela, quit whispering. You’re tickling me.”
My head whipped around to see whether anyone heard. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Fortunately, her voice didn’t carry.
Mallory put her hand on my arm. “Are you sure?”
I nodded. He had to be here for a reason. I wanted to find out.
With scrunched mouth, Mallory packed her lunch.
“Thanks, Mal. You’re the best.” I stood and slung my backpack over my shoulder.
Cynthia sneered as we walked past her. “So what’s the big secret?” She stood and lumbered toward us. “The two of you were whispering nonstop. What gives?”
I matched her sneer. “Like we’re gonna tell you.”
“I think you’re up to something, so I’m gonna follow and find out.”
I made a big show of sighing and rolling my eyes. “Geez, Cynthia. I gotta pee. You really wanna follow?” I shrugged. “Be my guest.” I tugged Mallory’s arm and headed toward the bathroom.
Cynthia called after us. “You’re so joined at the hip you can’t pee alone now?” Her laughter followed us across the quad.
Once inside the bathroom, Tatiana piped up. “M, when are you going to let me take care of her? She’s such a witch.” Her squeaky voice bounced off the concrete walls and metal stalls.
I covered my mouth to hold back the laughter. Tatiana and I were on the same wavelength. Someone should do something about Cynthia.
“We already talked about this, T. I won’t lower myself to her level and I don’t want you to either.”
Tatiana flew up to the air vent to check whether we could leave without Cynthia following us.
I avoided going in the school bathrooms as much as possible. Hanging out in one made me twitchy.
A cigarette butt floated in one of the toilets and toilet paper wads covered the floor. And the graffiti covering the stalls was nothing like the rainbow-graffiti art I had on my walls at home.
“Okay. Quad is clear.” Tatiana zoomed back to Mallory and hid under her hair.
I pushed the door open a crack, poked my head out, and crept out of the bathroom, with Mallory right behind me.
