As the miles quickly passed, and fewer and fewer cars appeared on the road, Amelia wondered if coming along was really a good idea. Dan was barking orders over the police radio back and forth between himself and the other squad cars, but just before the lights of an oasis appeared around the bend, they went completely silent, and all lights went off.
“Now, get down on the floor, Amelia, and no matter what happens or what you hear, do not look up or get out of the car. Do you understand?” He looked at her with a face chiseled from stone. Amelia nodded, slipped out of her seatbelt, and got as comfortable as possible down on the floor.
The car rolled onto some gravel, but they were not in front of the motel or gas station. They’d pulled off the road. Dan withdrew his gun from his shoulder holster and checked to make sure it was loaded. The sight of him with his weapon excited and terrified her.
“Remember. Stay on the floor.” Those were the last words he said before he got out of the car. He didn’t shut the door all the way, probably in an effort not to make any noise. And he didn’t. Neither did the other officers as they crept up to the motel. But just when Amelia thought this takedown would be quiet and peaceful, she heard the pounding on the motel door. This wouldn’t be peaceful at all.
“Lars! Open up!” Dan shouted. “Look, it’s over, Lars. We know what’s happened. What you’ve done. It’s going to be okay. Just open the door.”
Amelia heard mumbling, but she couldn’t make out a single word. All she could tell was that Lars was not happy. Not happy at all. And then her heart stopped.
Gunshots!
Amelia held her breath. She heard shouting and running. The words “officer down” cut through everything. They echoed in her head as she imagined Dan on the ground, a pool of blood spreading out behind him. She wanted to run to him but couldn’t. She promised. She promised to stay out of the way and not give him anything else to worry about. She was going to do that. As hard as it was, she stayed put, crying and desperately trying to hear something, anything that would let her know Dan was okay. She couldn’t tell one voice from another. Everyone sounded the same. She looked up through the windshield and could see only the tops of the trees in front of a black sky.
“We’re going in!”
“No back exit!”
“Clear on north and south sides!”
There was another gunshot and then another. For all the shouting, Amelia only heard three gunshots total. But that first one kept ringing in her ears. It was followed by “officer down.”
She wiped her eyes and listened. Someone kicked the house’s door open just as another shot rang out. The sound of an ambulance quickly approaching made Amelia’s heart pound. Could she get out of the car now that they were there? Did she even want to?
The smell of the pines and cool air mingled with the smell of Dan’s old sedan. His cologne hung there softly, but Amelia was keenly aware of it now.
What was she going to tell Meg and Adam? How would she ever explain that she didn’t get out of the car to go help him? How could she ever make this up to them, her babies? They loved Dan as much as she did. And he loved them. He loved them more than their own father did.
Amelia wiped the tears from her eyes. Her cheeks were saturated. Her head pounded, and she could do nothing but bury her face in her hands and sob. The salty taste of tears slipped over her lips.
Time seemed to stand still but race forward. The ambulance pulled up to the motel without hesitating. She heard the EMTs jump into action, shouting orders and dragging out their stretcher, its metallic legs snapping into place against the ground.
“There’s another one in there,” Amelia heard someone say. “Gunshot wound to the head.”
Amelia swallowed. It was all over. Wasn’t it? Could she get up now? Did she want to see it? Was she capable of seeing Dan hurt, dying, dead? She cried as she started to creep up from her crouched position and nearly screamed when the driver’s-side door was pulled open.
Dan stood there, his sleeve even redder from bleeding.
“Dan!” Amelia cried as she scrambled up and out of the seat. She wrapped her arms tightly around Dan’s neck. He pulled her to him more tightly than she’d ever felt before. “I heard them say officer down!” she choked into his shoulder.
“I’m sorry. It’s Connor. Lars shot through the door,” Dan said.
“Oh no. Do you need to go to the hospital with him?” she asked but didn’t loosen her grip.
“No. They’ll take good care of him,” Dan said.
“Dan, I wanted to get out of the car. I was afraid it was you. I’m sorry for Connor, but I was afraid it was you. What would I do without you, Dan? What would the kids do without you?”
Finally, she broke down and wept into Dan’s broad chest. They stood there, underneath the dark pines as a gentle breeze blew, and clung to each other. Dan whispered in Amelia’s ear, soothing her, telling her it was all okay and that the bad guy was caught. They were safe. Nothing would hurt them. They were safe.
Dan drove Amelia home but then had to go immediately to the hospital himself. When she stepped into the house, it was dark and quiet. Amelia went upstairs and checked on Meg.
As she stepped into her daughter’s room, she smelled the sweet lilac talc and deodorant her daughter wore. In the faint light of her daughter’s pink daisy nightlight, she saw clothes piled on the floor and her schoolbooks on the side of the bed. Meg’s dark brown hair spilled across her pillow. When Amelia bent down to pick up a pair of gym shoes and set them out of the way, Meg opened her eyes.
“Mom?”
“Hi, honey. Go back to sleep. It’s late.”
“Are you okay?”
“Yes.” Amelia smiled and took hold of the comforter, pulling it up to her daughter’s chin. “Go back to sleep.”
“I was afraid Dan changed his mind,” Meg muttered as she turned over onto her side. “After all the plans we made.”
Amelia didn’t know what Meg was talking about and chalked it up to a dream. Meg was forever telling her about the weird dreams she was having. She probably caught her daughter in the middle of one. Without hesitating, she kissed Meg on the forehead and left, closing the door behind her.
After going into the basement and finding Adam in the same dreamy state as his sister, Amelia felt that everything was back to normal. At least as normal as it could be for her family. She poured herself a glass of wine, went back upstairs to her room, and turned on the television. With the volume down to a murmur, she watched as James Cagney arrived at his mother’s house in the classic Public Enemy. She’d missed the part where he smashed the grapefruit in his girlfriend’s face. That scene was considered so violent for its time the critics went nuts.
She sipped her wine and wondered if Lars Hegan ever thought he’d end up like James Cagney’s character. Probably not.