Alec
I should have known the second Bryson walked in that something was up. He was whistling. Whistling, for hell's sake. Who whistles? But I didn't want to talk to him. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I'd thrown my phone in the hamper so my mom or Josh or anyone else couldn't call me and raise my stupid hopes that it was Navi. Now I was watching violent movies and relishing every time someone died a horrible death.
Yeah. I was evil.
I don't care.
"Have you been here all day?" he asked, dropping his keys on the coffee table and settling himself in the armchair. Awesome. Apparently he thought we were going to be spending quality time together.
"Nope."
He leaned his elbows on his knees and studied me, an annoying grin on his face, like a Cheshire cat just waiting for me to ask him what he'd gotten into. I didn't want to. After several seconds of ignoring him, he said, "What'd you do?"
I stared harder at the TV. "It's a Tuesday, Bryson. I went to work."
He sat back, arms behind his head. "You went to work, really? How do you get anything done with that?" He motioned with his foot toward the huge cast on my right hand.
I'd been put on light duty, which meant talking to people and running errands. It sucked. But I wasn't going to tell him that. "I managed."
Several more seconds of that obnoxious grin. "Seriously, Bryson, what do you want?" I finally paused the movie and turned on him. Anything to get him to go away.
"Nothing. Just wondering how you are. Oh," He got up and went to the kitchen, making some weird herbal tea that made our whole house smell like a tanning salon. "I saw Navi today."
I felt like I'd been hit with a wrecking ball. My entire body tensed, the blood freezing in my veins. At the mention of her name.
I was a mess.
"How was she?" I asked, feigning disinterest while I hung on his every word. I didn't know what I hoped he would say. That she was as miserable as me? But there was a better man inside me that hoped she was okay. That she wasn't hurting. That she would talk to me and we could work this out.
"She's okay. Hasn't broken anything yet, so I guess she's better than you…" His voice trailed off, chuckling.
I take it back. I didn't want her to be happy. The better man inside died right then and all I wanted was for her to be as miserable as I was.
"We went to see the Column. It was beautiful."
"You've been there before." My tone was distinctly accusing, although I wasn't entirely sure why. "I went with you when you first moved here, remember?"
"That was a year ago, Alec." He leaned against the counter and frowned at me like I was an annoying child. "I can't remember that far back and besides, she took the time to explain each mural. You didn't." He gave me a lopsided smile.
I paced toward him, enjoying that he was only 5'10" and I was 6'2.
He raised his hands. "Chill out, Alec. Konstanz was there, too. It was completely platonic. Then we were going to go to the beach, but… "
The one thing saving me in the lifetime of nightmares I'd had of Navi dying in front of me was that she was on a beach, and Navi did not go near the ocean. Not for anything. Especially not for Bryson. "Navi hates the beach."
"Yeah. I was going to say that. So we got ice cream and then I took them home. See? Nothing to worry about, Alec. I'm just… you have Josh and your alcohol. You don't need me, but maybe she does."
No, I didn't need him. But why would she? She had a houseful of girls to help her cope. I grabbed my keys off the table and stormed out. This time, when I drove my truck to her house, I wasn't going to leave until I talked to her.
"What are you doing here?" Konstanz eyed me like I'd just crawled out of the sewer, the door opened only wide enough that she could peek out and snarl at me.
"I need to talk to Navi, K."
"Don't 'K' me, Alec. We're done being friends."
Ah, so Navi had told them everything. "Okay. Sorry. Konstanz, I need to talk to her. Please."
She must have heard the desperation in my voice, despite my best efforts to hide it. She sighed and opened the door wider. "You don't get to talk to her, Alec. Not again. Not ever."
"Konstanz, I just need to hear her—" voice "—explanation. I didn't give her a chance. It was wrong."
"You called her a whore."
"I didn't mean to. I was hurt. Please, Konstanz. Just let me talk to her."
"Why, Alec? You wouldn't give her a chance to explain before. Why do you think you deserve her time now?" She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at me, her normally friendly eyes shooting daggers laced with poison and followed by big, teethy fish.
"I don't. But I need it. I need to talk to her." My voice cracked. Holy hell, could I get any more pathetic?
"Alec, if you felt for her even half what she feels for you, you wouldn't be jumping to the most horrible conclusion every chance you get. I stood by and did nothing before. I failed her because I believed you. I'm not going to let you hurt her again."
I ran a hand over my face, peering over her shoulder, hoping to see Navi in the background. But the apartment was dark except for a light coming from the hallway. If Navi was here, she wasn't coming out. "I already hurt her, Konstanz. I'm trying to make it better."
"Just leave her alone, Alec. That's how you can make it better."
I hung my head, my good hand clenching and unclenching helplessly at my side. "I can't leave her alone."
I could feel her staring at me, but I didn't know what else to say to convince her.
"What happened to your hand?"
I blinked and looked up. Was that concern I heard in her voice? "I smashed it at work yesterday. Then I got really drunk. Then Josh dragged me to the hospital. It was a great day."
Her sea-green eyes narrowed at me. "You—you went to the hospital last night?"
"Yeah." This wasn't the conversation I was expecting at all, and I had no idea where she was going with it. "Want to see my doctors orders or whatever they're called?"
Slowly, she shook her head. I wasn't sure what I'd said that changed her, but the anger dimmed just a bit. "Navi isn't here. She's working. Not being a whore."
I closed my eyes against the pain. "I know, Konstanz."
"She won't be back until morning. She had an important meeting tonight, and they usually take hours."
Defeated, I felt every ounce of energy desert me. "Okay," I mumbled. I turned and started for my truck.
"Alec?" She sounded hesitant, like she really didn't want to say what she was about to say.
Which meant I really didn't want to hear it. But I looked back over my shoulder anyway. She was right behind me. She laid a gentle hand on my arm and bit her lip. "I know it's hard." She nodded. "I know how bad it hurts. But she's been through enough. Please, if you can find the strength, stay away from her. Or if you can't do that, if you can't stay away from her, then be her friend. But this," she waved her hand through the air like it explained what this was, "this will kill you both."
The second time I got drunk in two days, I made sure not to mix it with pain pills. "Dude, slow down. You're gonna end up in the hospital again." Josh attempted to steer me away from the bar, but I shoved him out of the way.
"I don't care." I wanted pain. I wanted the oblivion that alcohol could bring. Get her outta my head. Get her out of my heart. I knew I'd hurt her. But I honestly hadn't thought it was over. Not really. I didn't even believe she'd been cheating, if you could call it cheating when we'd only been together for two days. The look in her eyes when I walked away haunted me, and it told me everything I needed to know.
I just wish I would have realized it sooner.
But Konstanz was right. The relationship between Navi and I was too intense. It was either head over heels or absolute hate. It could destroy us both. I was okay with it destroying me. But I wasn't okay with it destroying her.
"I gotta move outta the state." My words were already slurred.
"Your mom won't let that happen. Neither will Jack."
Jack. He'd be real proud of his big brother right now, wouldn't he? I laid my head on the bar counter and groaned. It was hard and sticky and cool. "How much has he had?" the bartender asked. Same girl as last night.
"Too much. I'm taking him home."
"Is he okay?"
"No. Broke his hand. Broke his heart." I could picture Josh shrugging, but I wasn't raising my head to see it play out for real.
"Oh," she cooed. "How could anyone break his heart when it's attached to a body like that?"
I scowled, which was hard with my eyebrows pushed against the dirty bar. Was she hitting on me?
"She's an ice queen. You wanna take him home and put his heart back together for him?"
What the hell was going on? I forced myself up, rubbing my forehead and glaring at them both.
She smiled, red painted lips splitting into a seductive smirk. She was hot, with black pin-up curls and a low-cut tank top that left absolutely nothing to the imagination.
And she wasn't Navi.
"No thanks." I stood up, nearly toppling my bar stool. Her smile faded, replaced by hurt. Crap. Now I was going to have to find a new bar, and I planned on spending a lot of time in one for the next while. Until I forgot that demon angel for good. "It's not you. I can't do this anymore." I tried to give her an apologetic smile, but it didn't turn out so well.
"You know where to find me." She wiped the counter and left to get someone else's drink.
"You're an idiot," Josh said as he heaved me to my feet. "I hand you a hot girl who wants to take you home—"
"I don't want it, Josh. I'm done." I shook my head, which was a mistake. The room spun and my stomach heaved. "Shit."
"Okay." Josh pushed me forward, out the door and into the fresh air. "Time to get you home. No more alcohol for you."
My stomach, as I lost everything in it all over the parking lot, agreed with him.