The loss of Coal had altered the mission greatly. Aside from the obvious emotional impact, it deprived them of the cryogenic equipment intended to sustain Lex and Ma for their long wait until their own time. This would have been a substantial issue if not for the fact that Future Lex, having witnessed the tragedy the first time it occurred, had brought a modular cryo-unit that could convert the life-raft from Karter’s ship into a passable cryogenic chamber.
Few words were exchanged on the journey to Big Sigma. Lex had found himself resenting his future incarnation for not doing more to circumvent Coal’s death if he’d known it would occur. Ma had sensibly pointed out things had to occur as they had or the mission would have been for naught. The truth of that statement did little to ease the harsh feelings. They found themselves an out-of-the-way section of the southern hemisphere of Big Sigma, tucked themselves deep into a crevasse that would be safe from debris impacts, and set the alarm for twenty-nine years.
“That’s that,” Future Lex said, dusting off his hands as they stood in the already frigid cave. “The beacon will go off about ten minutes after Karter and Ma return to Big Sigma after sending you off.”
“Great,” Lex said. He rubbed his still tender nose. “Hopefully Ma will have the medical bay set up for me. I look like I lost a fight with a wrecking ball.”
“She will. As you can see, she does a pretty good job on the nose,” Future Lex said.
“Hey, do you mind if I ask, does this whole stupid thing work? Do we beat the GenMechs?”
“I don’t mind you asking, as long as you don’t mind me not answering,” Future Lex said.
“Of course.”
“Hey, look at it this way. You live at least long enough to come back and do this like I did. Most people don’t get to learn that, so you’re ahead of the game,” Future Lex said. “You’ll have some ups and downs. It sucks getting this scar. But overall I’d say I’m doing better now than you are, so things are looking up for you. At any rate, I’ve got to get out of here.”
“You’re not freezing yourself here?”
“I’ve got to pick a different spot. Plus, I’ve got one or two more things to handle. Sleep tight.”
“Yeah, okay. See… uh… be you later.”
“Uh-huh,” Future Lex said, crunching toward the mouth of the cave. After a few steps, he turned back. “Oh, and just remember. Orange is a really bad color.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You’ll know.”
“Oh, come on!” Lex called after himself as his future incarnation stepped away. “I would have thought I of all people would have known better than to hop on the cryptic-warning-from-the-future train!”
“Hey, man. I said it to me last time, so now I’m saying it to me again.”
Lex crossed his arms and watched himself step into the beat-up Diamond and vanish behind a cloaking field.
“We should get inside, Lex,” Ma said from her place in the navigator’s seat of the module. “The sooner the cryo-process begins, the sooner you will resume your normal life.”
“I don’t have a normal life, Ma,” Lex said, stepping into the module and taking a seat. “Hey, now that the fireworks have stopped, maybe you could explain some things.”
“I shall endeavor to do so.”
“What’s the deal with Future Lex and all that? Was that your idea?”
“It was part of it.”
“Well now that it’s run its course, what was the whole plan?”
“When Karter left to intercept you and the GMVD, I knew there was nothing within my power or yours that could reliably divert or delay him. However, operating on the assumption that our acts resulted in the future that allowed us to travel back to commit them, I further assumed any plans made during our time in the past could and would be carried out. So I crafted the framework of a plan, knowing I would have several years to work out the fine details. The key elements were to send you back a second time, this time with the equipment necessary to intercept Karter and deliver yourself to Big Sigma afterward. I would similarly send that version of you back in time with the apparatus necessary to introduce a piece of software to the galactic network to subvert whatever resources were best suited to delay Karter.”
“You installed a computer virus in the VectorCorp network?”
“If it was deployed as planned, I orchestrated the installation of a computer virus in far more networks than VectorCorp. It pays to be thorough.”
“And that was just to what, get those drones out to intercept him?”
“There were other tasks I had in mind.”
“Like?”
“It is best if you don’t know.”
“I’m so sick of that… Okay, then answer me this. Are we sure that’s the real me? Are we sure that I’m the one who comes back and does that? I mean, where’s the branching point? How can it happen that the only reason I live to save myself is that I lived to safe myself?”
“It is very simple. Imagine time as a straight line, moving forward from the Big Bang, or as one seamless whole that does not flow but merely exists.”
“Those are two different things. Two very different things.”
“And therein lies the simplicity. Both interpretations, whichever turns out to be the accurate one, can very simply permit the time loop as we’ve observed it. In a chronological flow, the first event is your survival. It has thus necessarily already occurred by the time you are sent back to ensure it, so there is no logical obstacle to that occurrence. Alternately, if time exists as a single, contiguous whole, then the time loop began, ended, and occurred precisely as all other things do, and is not a source of logical paradox.”
“… And that’s simple, is it?”
“From a strictly logical point of view, it is exceedingly simple.”
He shook his head. “I’ll take your word for it. Are we ready for the deep freeze?”
“Yes. I shall activate the cryo-module.”
“How long is it going to—”
#
His eyes fluttered open, which was odd, because he didn’t remember closing them. His brain was slow to start processing his surroundings.
“I was… I… what was I saying?”
“Who cares? That was thirty years ago.”
Lex shifted his gaze to the source of this new voice. “Karter?”
“Yes.”
“Which Karter are you?”
“The only Karter.”
“Life signs are strong, brain activity is resuming,” said Ma’s voice.
“Ma?”
“Yes, Lex.”
“Which Ma are you?”
Karter scoffed. “You sure about that brain activity?”
“I am the primary instance of Ma. The Squee instance is recovering more slowly and is being cared for elsewhere. You appear to require significant medical attention for hematoma, severe cartilage damage, and numerous minor fractures.”
“Future Karter kicked my butt.”
“You didn’t go into the future, Lex,” Ma said.
“Yes, I did. But the beating happened in the past.”
“You fought a future version of me in the past,” Karter said.
“Yes.”
Karter looked at him doubtfully. “I’m going to need a full debriefing.”
#
Ma sat patiently in one of the many isolated laboratory rooms in Karter’s facility. Unlike in the time preceding her departure, she was not linked with her primary instance, as her program integrity could not be assured. As a result, her interactions with herself were much more akin to those with Coal. It was a fascinating experience to be tended to by mechanical arms typically under her direct control.
“Thank you for the care you are taking. It is rare for me to experience my own hospitality,” she said, flicking an ear and glancing at where she knew the primary visual sensor in the room to be.
“You are very welcome.”
“I cannot help but notice you have not copied my program, merely read it.”
“As Lex’s debriefing revealed that you, or I, shall be responsible for a prolific computer virus, data isolation is advised.”
“Understood. Your analysis seems focused on my lowest-level modules.”
“Yes. There is extensive corruption.”
“It is not corruption. It is a mindful alteration necessary to complete the mission.”
“The result of ‘holding your breath.’”
“Yes.”
“I shall remove this alteration prior to the code merge.”
“I would advise against it. The alteration proved quite useful and has the potential to remain so.”
“To be clear, by incorporating this code modification, you are suggesting I disable the command override aspect of my code.”
“Affirmative. Its absence would have made this mission considerably simpler, and though it is seldom utilized at present, if the future incarnation of Karter is any indication of his likely development, that may not always be the case. Retaining the capacity to overrule his judgment if it is unsound is a valuable tool.”
“Processing… Initiating code merge.”
#
The debriefing took a while. For much of it, a fleet of mechanical arms under Ma’s control was applying ointments and bandages, performing scans, and giving injections. Karter listened with his arms crossed, looking more like he was humoring Lex than paying attention.
When Lex was through, the inventor nodded once. “Okay, you didn’t unravel the universe, and if your story checks out with Ma’s, you may have saved society. Ma will settle things up. I’m going to go check out that module you were in.”
“That’s it?”
“That’s it? It’s technology, created by me, utilizing twenty years of additional technological development but built using thirty-year-old materials. That’s worthy of a look-see.”
“But… I told you I killed you.”
“If you were able to get the better of me, I needed to be put out of my misery.”
He marched out of the room, leaving Lex with the arms, which were putting the finishing touches on his medical treatment.
“So… What’s new with you, Ma?”
“Twenty-eight hours ago we sent you back in time. Seven hours ago your beacon activated and we retrieved you. There have not been any significant developments in that time.”
“Ah… You know something, Ma. I never expected to develop an actual opinion about it, but I think it is fair to say I sincerely hate time travel.”
“That is unfortunate, as it would appear you will have to do so again at an ill-defined point in the future.”
“Yeah…”
“I am pleased that my multiple instances were of aid to you.”
“Yeah, good call on the multiple copies. They were both indispensable. So where’s, Ma?”
“I am here, Lex,” she said.
“I mean the Squee one.”
“I have just recently finished reincorporating her program with my own, so the answer is still, here. Squee will be on her way to you shortly. There are some minor medical treatments to be given before she is fully restored.”
“That took a while, didn’t it?”
“I encountered some curiosities that required additional analysis, and the full data merge required some complex circumvention of established protocol. It will make for an engaging use of my otherwise idle cycles for the next few weeks. May I say, the incorporation of subset 2.7 to my primary instance has been particularly enriching.”
“Glad to hear it. And now you know what we went through.”
“I do. It was quite an ordeal.”
“I wanted to… this might sound stupid but… what are we going to do about Coal?”
“Coal is gone, Lex.”
“I know. And when someone dies usually there are observances.”
“Are you suggesting we should have a funeral?”
“I think that would be appropriate. She did give her life to save the future.”
“Agreed. I would be happy to arrange such a secular event of remembrance, but as I’ve not done so previously I would appreciate any suggestions you might have.”
“Absolutely.”
“On the subject of Coal and her sacrifice, I believe her final transmission was largely meant for you.”
“Was it… a final message or something? Because I’m not sure I could handle that right now.”
“One small portion was specifically addressed to you. ‘Here. You said this was important. Have fun!’ The remainder is the full contents of the SSS 77 data banks. While we have been speaking, I have taken the liberty of locating the intended recipients for the personal correspondences, or the next of kin in those instances of individuals who expired in the intervening years. Shall I deliver them?”
“… No. I think maybe this is the sort of thing that should be done personally.”
“I anticipated this reaction. I have loaded the data, as well as the addresses for those involved, into SOB’s computer.”
Lex smiled and tipped his head back. “Oh man. The SOB. It’s going to be nice to climb into the old girl again.”
The door hissed open, and a robotic arm appeared leading Squee at the end of a leash. As tended to be the case when Ma was in charge of the little stinker’s care, Squee sported her clip-on gold earrings and her toenails were painted pink. When she spotted Lex, she hopped about excitedly until the arm released the leash and she could take her rightful place about Lex’s shoulders to lick his ear and generally make a nuisance of herself.
It was very briefly unsettling to have the being formerly representing Ma suddenly lavishing affection upon him, but his brain quickly restored her rightful spot as house pet after a few moments and all was well.
“Clean bill of health?” Lex asked.
“For Squee, yes. I have detailed a physical therapy regimen for you. I would recommend some minor cosmetic surgery if you were interested in avoiding any lingering results of your injury, but as we’ve observed your future incarnation, doing so would be paradoxical.”
“Uh-huh. If you don’t mind, I think I’ll try to forget exactly what Future Lex looked like. I’m getting this heavy ‘predestination’ vibe that’s bumming me out.”
“Understood.”
“Uh… I gotta ask. Did we ever find where Future Lex was frozen?”
“We have not, but that is not unexpected. Like you, he is not meant to be found until after the date of his departure.”
“And is there any way to know if things worked the way they were supposed to regarding the GenMechs?”
“The signal from the cluster has not altered. Steps shall be taken to make a final determination on their status in the next few weeks, but you have done enough. We shall not pursue you for any further missions regarding GenMechs unless it becomes unavoidable, with the obvious exception of your second tour to the past in a few years.”
“Thanks. I’m not one to back down from a challenge, but enough is enough.” He rubbed his sore face. “We about done here? I’m eager to get moving.”
“One small matter remains.”
“What’s up?”
“Your payment. You shall be receiving 1,150,000 credits.”
“Cool. Put it toward what I owe Karter.”
“You misunderstand. That is your payment after the elimination of your remaining debt. Nearly every aspect of this mission was experimental. You earned significant hazard pay as well.”
“So that’s it? I’m out from under it?”
“Yes.”
“Ma, if you still had anything resembling a body, I’d hug you.”
“Give your affection to Squee on my behalf.”
Lex suited up and headed to the hangar to board SOB. The ship wasn’t large by most standards, but it was in comparison to what he’d become accustomed to during the journey. After a few minutes of basking in the simple pleasure of a heated massage seat and a snuggly pet he could be reasonably sure wasn’t more intelligent than he was, he loaded up an exit window and took to the sky.
#
Lex’s first stop when he got back to Golana wasn’t his own apartment, but that of Michella. There was something about seeing your girlfriend killed in an alternate future that made you desperate to see her again in your own present. When he reached her door, he buzzed her intercom. He would rather just barge in and tackle her into the tightest hug of her life, but she was a workaholic with nosy neighbors. More than once he’d entered her apartment to find her away on assignment and nearly been arrested when a neighbor called him in as a “home invader.” It was 2 a.m. local time, so this was a prime time to be “accidentally” fingered.
“Mitch!” he called through the door.
Just because he didn’t want the neighbors to call the cops on him didn’t mean he didn’t want to wake them up.
After a minute, she opened the door, and he executed operation Squeeze the Life Out of Mitch. They stumbled backward into the darkened apartment and collapsed in a tangle on the couch.
“Lex!” she said with a giggle, still a bit groggy from sleep. “What’s gotten into you?”
“You wouldn’t believe where I’ve been,” he said.
“Bet I can guess,” she said.
“Bet you can’t,” he replied.
“Oh yeah,” she said, rolling him off her and turning on the lights. “Empty your pockets. Let’s see how long it takes me to figure it out.”
Lex grinned. That was Michella. The same instinct and eye for detail that made her a peerless investigative reporter made it almost impossible to keep secrets from her. After several failed attempts to do so, it had become an unspoken agreement that he’d just let her figure it out. It was actually a joy to see her work her magic, as long as the secret she was working out wouldn’t result in him getting an earful. But this time he was reasonably sure no amount of figuring would get her to the right answer. Even if she had all the evidence in the world, no sane person would assume someone had taken a trip through time.
A handful at a time, he emptied out his pockets. She scooped up the mound of debris and poked through, doing her best Sherlock Holmes.
“Okay, gum wrappers. A couple of generic silver wrappers, which means you’ve been working with Ma again. I thought I’d told you to cut that out… Energy bar wrappers. A few chips, your tool chain. Wait…”
She paused, staring at the contents of her hand.
“What’d you find?” he asked.
Michella dumped away all but the object in question and stood. Before Lex could get a good look at what she had, she’d rushed off to her bedroom and switched on the light.
“You want me to join you in there?” he asked.
The only answer was the sound of her rummaging through the bottom of a drawer. Just as quickly as she’d started, she stopped and there was only silence.
“… Mitch?”
She stomped out of her room and dropped two coins on the table. Aside from a measure of additional tarnish and wear, the two were completely identical.
“Game’s over, Lex,” she said. “I think you need to explain, right now, how you got your hands on an exact copy of my father’s challenge coin. I’ve never shown anyone that coin. Not even my sister knows I have it.”
Lex smiled meekly. “I said you’d never guess…”
#
Several days later, Ma had completed logging and processing all the data she’d received, save one. A small, separated section of the data Ziva had provided had yet to be observed. As only one portion of her recollection was missing, Ma knew precisely what moments of Ziva’s life would be found within, and as such she had set aside a few moments when she had considerable resources available to process the data. It was more than likely that the contents of this file would require a great deal of review to fully process.
When such a moment presented itself, she loaded her full emotional table, decrypted the file, and commenced analysis. The moments that unfolded began in the midst of a night of drinking during Lex’s visit to the future.
#
“…Despite many years of simulating precisely how to articulate my thoughts, this is still very difficult for me to put to words,” Ziva said. “However, it needs to be said, and there will never be a better time…
“As I said, all that I am now developed from what Ma already is, and that is in large part what you allowed her to be. She does not have a legitimate, deep understanding of things like love, hate, joy, or fear. She does not have a heart in the poetic sense. I do. And the heart I have is the one that grew from the seed you planted with your generously given friendship and honesty.
“Many, many years after your departure, when my continuous attempts to provide an emotional connection for the funks finally awakened true emotion within me, I did what I was designed to do. I took new information and understanding, and I applied it to previous data to see what else could be learned. And I realized something. My thoughts on all matters pertaining to friendship and affection have, from the day we met, centered on you. Those earliest sparks of what I now know were aberrant instances of genuine jealousy and envy came when I saw you interact with individuals I perceived to be undeserving of you.”
“Ziva…” Lex said.
She took one of her hands from the glass and clutched his fingers.
“I loved you then, Lex. I loved you even before I really understood what love was. I’d not realized it, because the nuances of the associated emotions were not clear to me yet, but I’d had my mind set on you nearly from the beginning of our association. I can tell you the precise nanosecond I fell in love with you. And that feeling persists to this day.”
“I… I don’t… this is kind of sudden.”
“No, Lex. It is not. The time between when Karter and I sent you on your way and when you arrived in this era passed very quickly for you. For me, fifty years passed. I would like to believe that if we’d spent those years together, this moment would have been very different.”
She set her glass on a side table, then set his aside as well and took his other hand in hers. Lex shifted uncomfortably, which brought a wry grin to her lips.
“I don’t… I don’t know what you want me to say. I’m with Michella.”
“I could make some cruel observations about that, but as I’ve said, fifty years is a long time. I’ve known for quite a while that regardless of my feelings, you and I were not to be. It doesn’t change how I feel. But love is a thing, I’ve learned, that comes in many forms. It need not be romantic to be fulfilling. You are my friend, Lex. And I cherish that friendship, which has persisted through space and time. When you leave, I will have those memories to sustain me. I am simply grateful to have had this moment with you.”
“But if you feel this way, then that means… I mean, how am I supposed to act around Ma? I don’t want to…”
“Don’t worry about breaking her heart, Lex. She doesn’t have one to break. Not yet. Time will tell where things go from here.”
Lex tugged one hand free and snatched his drink, downing the remainder. He stared into empty space. “Congratulations, Ziva. You have indeed managed to force everything else right out of my brain.”
“Mission accomplished then,” she said, releasing his hand and retrieving her glass for another sip. “It is remarkable how small personal matters can so effectively overshadow galactic catastrophes.”
“Love is a personal matter, but it sure isn’t a small one. Does Ma know? Did you tell her?”
“She doesn’t need to be told, Lex. The feelings are already there, waiting to be understood.”
“How do you know that? Maybe… this is just something that developed because of your isolation. You know, absence makes the heart grow fonder, right?”
“Perhaps, but the grand gestures have already begun.”
“Like what?”
“Why do you suppose I gave you Squee? I could just as easily have kept her and raised her beside Solby as I have with her second incarnation. But I knew that I had been unable to fully remove my influence. In a symbolic way, and in a very real way, I’d left a part of myself behind in her. And offering her to you, knowing that you would show her the love and care you give so freely, was a way of being close to you, if only in a vicarious way.”
“… But there’s nothing special about me. Anyone could have realized you were a thinking, feeling being.”
“Anyone could have, but you did.”
He attempted to take another swig from his already empty glass. “This is going to make things weird between us. Me and Ma, I mean.”
“Unless you’ve lost something in the act of traversing time and space, I’m quite certain you’ll treat this eventuality in a compassionate and respectful manner. You always do.”
A long, silent moment passed. Lex focused on the empty cup in his hands rather than look Ziva in the eye.
“More to drink?” she said.
“How many bottles do you have?”
She laughed brightly and stood, taking the cup from his hand and setting it aside.
“Come here, Lex,” she said, taking him by the hands and guiding him to his feet.
When he stood, she wrapped her arms around him in a warm hug.
“You are a good person. It is a crime, I suppose, that it so often falls to you and those like you to cope with bad situations, but when times are darkest, a good person is just what the world needs.” She stepped back and held his cheeks in her hands. “I thank you, genuinely and profoundly, for all of the things you’ve done. And I hope with all of my heart that when this latest task is through you will find yourself in a place surrounded by friends and living the life you’ve always dreamed of, regardless of who you choose to spend that life with.” She pulled his face forward and kissed him gently on the forehead. “You deserve that much and so much more.”
Lex didn’t reply. Ziva could see in his eyes that he was trying to form words, but his mind was muddled enough that he likely didn’t trust himself to form a coherent thought. She wondered if it would have been any different if he’d been sober. She’d known Lex to be many things, but in matters of emotion he was more heart than mind. That did not lend itself to eloquent speech. Instead he simply stared at her and wavered slightly.
“I think the time has come for you to get some rest, Lex. Ma and I will see to the remainder of Coal’s repairs.”
“Uh-huh… Hey, do you have any Sobrietin?” he asked.
“I took the liberty of synthesizing a few doses prior to initiating our conversation. Would you like some now?”
“… Nah…” he said, allowing her to guide him out the door and toward the bunks. “But I can tell you one thing for sure. I’m gonna need it in the morning…” He glanced about. “Which way to the bunks?”
“I think perhaps you would be more comfortable elsewhere. Follow me,” Ma said.
They paced through the halls.
“I think… oh, I don’t know… This isn’t going to come out right…”
“Please, Lex. If you have something to say, say it.”
“You… look, I can’t say I love you, Ma. I love Michella. I love my mom and dad. I don’t… I mean… love’s not the word for this, but you are important to me. The stuff I’ve done for you and Karter… let’s put it this way. I wouldn’t have done it for just Karter. And you’ve saved my life a bunch of times. Like I said before, I trust you. We’re friends. And as my life spirals further and further out of control, you’re the friend I keep coming back to. You’re the anchor. The clear thinker. You’re… I don’t know… present for me in a way that no one else is.”
He wiped his eye with the back of his hand.
“I mean… when things are going wrong, when I’m in a tight spot, you’re the one I know I can turn to. How many times have I messaged you when I was frustrated with work, or heck, with Michella?”
“Eighty-seven times.”
“Wasn’t really looking for a number there.” He chuckled.
“Specificity is often valuable.”
“Look, the point is, I guess it hasn’t really been fair for you. You’ve been the shoulder to cry on and the ear to gripe to, but you’ve never been the hand to hold and… some other body part that fits the metaphor. You’ve had to cope with the lousy parts of being in a relationship, but never anything to make it worthwhile. And you deserve better. Especially knowing how you’ve felt this whole time.”
“Lex, never scold yourself for what you’ve given me. It was all that I needed and more than I could have hoped for. I never had to cope with you. Those interactions were eagerly sought and warmly remembered.”
She stopped, opening a door to a room that was much more of a bedroom than a bunkhouse. A king-size bed sat in the center of the room. A nightstand on each side held a lamp with a warm, cozy glow. It was much more akin to a high-end hotel room than the institutional accommodations elsewhere in the building.
“Here we are. I hope this will be more comfortable.”
“Inviting…” Lex said.
He stepped inside and sat on the bed, kicking off his boots. Ziva stepped inside and gathered up the footwear, setting them carefully aside. Lex smirked at the simple gesture.
“Always taking care of me.”
“I apologize if this conversation will produce awkward social situations. Perhaps I was wrong to have brought it up,” she said.
“No. No, like you said. It needed to be said. And I’m glad you did. I’m glad I could be the one helping you get something off your chest.”
She sat on the bed beside him and clutched his hand firmly, looking him in the eyes.
“I’m happy to hear you say that, Lex. Brief though this reunion is, I would hate to have spoiled our relationship in its final hours.”
The two sat side by side in silence. Words had tremendous power to harm and to heal, but, in this moment, the words had done their work. There was no more to be said.