TORI DIDN’T KNOW why she hadn’t thought to ask if Jeremy had a car. Of course he did. And the next night they left the city and headed to Connecticut, to his family home and the party that would be waiting for them.
She was dressed in the cocktail dress he’d bought her that first day of shopping, and new shoes, and the cape. She carried a little clutch and felt more than ever like Cinderella going to the ball, only this time it felt as if the host wasn’t a prince but the evil stepmother.
By the time they left it was dark, so Tori couldn’t even focus on the scenery. Instead, nerves bubbled up inside her. Jeremy had said that she had to know what she was getting herself into, and that didn’t bode well. She had enough anxiety for the both of them; she didn’t need to be absorbing any of Jeremy’s. His hands gripped the steering wheel and his jaw was set. He wasn’t looking forward to this holiday party, either.
“Just remember that it doesn’t matter what my mother thinks of you, okay? Or Bruce, either.”
“So why is it so important for me to meet them? I mean, I don’t want to say that I think being estranged is a good thing, but I’m just...” She took a breath and let out what she was really thinking. “Are you hoping that it’ll scare me off?”
“What? No!” He took his eyes off the road for a moment. “Of course not!”
Then he sighed, a heavy, weary sigh. “I talked to my friend Bran when we were still back in Nova Scotia. He told me I shouldn’t blindside you with my family. That you should know what you’re getting into. He’s right. And maybe there’s a part of me that thinks that maybe it’ll help you understand me a little better, too.” He looked over again, a grim smile on his lips. “Warts and all.”
She tried a small smile. “Kissing frogs who turn into princes?”
“I’m no prince.” He smiled back, though it was edged with tension. “Also, a holiday cocktail party means Mom will be on her best behavior, or at least I hope so. Tomorrow morning we’ll drive back and it’ll be over and done with.”
They still hadn’t talked about when she’d be returning home, but she did have to be back by Thursday of the following week. She couldn’t take unlimited vacation and leave Tom in the lurch with the hotel.
She supposed that meant in the new year she’d be talking to him about resigning and creating an exit plan.
The thought made her sad, and a bit lonely, but she was moving on to big things. And it would have to be done, regardless, because her maternity leave was scheduled to start at the beginning of April.
It was nearly eight when a gate swung open and they pulled into a large, circular drive. The lane leading up to the property was heavily treed, so Tori only saw darkness out the passenger side window. A number of cars were already parked. The party had begun, apparently.
“Cocktails now, dinner at eight thirty,” he murmured, turning off the engine. “Phew. Are you ready?”
“No. You’re making me nervous.”
“I’m sorry.” He ran his hand through his hair, a clear sign he was agitated. “I’m being a coward.”
She turned in her seat. “Listen, we don’t have to go in. If you’re this upset, that tells me all I need to know. Don’t do this because of me.”
He relaxed a little. “I think it’s like ripping off a Band-Aid. Once it’s done, I’ll feel better. And then I won’t have to worry about it again.”
“Well, then, let’s get ripping. It’s going to get cold out here in about thirty seconds.” A light snow had started to fall.
He got out and then went around the car to open her door, and held her elbow firmly as they walked to the entrance of the grand home.
At first glance, Tori thought the house was simply a large colonial style—gorgeous but not the imposing mansion she’d been expecting. But as they stepped up to the oversize oak door, she realized that tucked back behind the main house were expansive wings, afforded privacy by the large, sheltering trees to each side of the main building. “Oh,” she whispered.
“Nine thousand square feet, give or take,” he offered, knocking on the door.
Way larger than even the nicest house they’d looked at back home. And, if she could guess, well over twice the cost, especially when considering currency exchange.
She gripped her clutch even tighter.
The door opened and they were ushered in and divested of their outerwear; they walked only five feet when they were offered a cocktail. Jeremy accepted one while Tori said a quiet, “No, thank you.”
Instead of leaving it there, though, Jeremy asked for them to bring her a club soda and lime.
“How did you know what I’d like?”
He leaned closer. “You’ve been drinking it all week at my place.”
He noticed the most mundane things, and she couldn’t help but be pleased.
Now they were at the door to a large room, and conversations hummed from inside. His mother was in there. Probably his sister. Stepfather. Their social circle. She was a small-town nobody from Nova Scotia. She couldn’t be more out of place if she tried.
She was about to ask him for more time, but then a woman appeared at the door, carrying a glass of red wine, and smiled widely. “About time you got here! I wondered if you’d fed me to the wolves.”
“Hey, Sarah.” He gave her a hug, but it was more polite than overt affection. “I’d like you to meet Tori.”
“Hello, Tori. Nice of you to...”
She’d just noticed Tori’s baby bump. “Oh. Oh. Well. Congratulations.”
Tori placed her hand protectively over the baby. “Thank you.”
Sarah looked at Jeremy. “Does Mom know?”
“Of course not.”
“Wow, Jeremy, you’re going to make her a grandmother. She won’t be able to lie about her age anymore.”
“Well, cheers to that.” The siblings touched glasses.
Sarah relaxed a little. “Seriously, though, congratulations. I’m surprised as hell, but one of us deserves to be happy. When’s the due date?”
“April fourteenth,” Tori supplied.
“Well, you might as well come in. You can’t stay in the doorway all night.”
Tori’s club soda arrived, so her hands were full of purse and drink as they entered a room that she was sure was nearly as big as her whole house.
The men wore black tie, the same as Jeremy, creating a striking look. The women were dressed in conservative cocktail dresses, with nary a bared shoulder or plunging neckline in sight. Except for one woman, Tori noticed. She had on a little black dress that dipped to the waist in the back, and came to mid-thigh. When she turned around, it was like looking at Sarah all over again, only twenty-five years older and with three times the amount of makeup.
Unless Tori was sadly mistaken, she’d also had substantial work done. Her face had a pinched look that wasn’t quite natural.
The woman spied Jeremy and smiled, then her gaze lit on Tori, drifted down to her belly and moved back up with both surprise and distaste in their depths. Here we go.
At least the front of the dress was more appropriate than the back. She excused herself and came to stand in front of Jeremy, as if Tori wasn’t there at all.
“So good of you to come, Jeremy.”
“Mother.” He leaned forward and kissed her cheek. Tori wasn’t sure the kiss had even made contact with skin. “Merry Christmas. I’d like to introduce you to Victoria Sharpe.”
Tori put down her drink and held out her hand. “Hello, Mrs....”
It struck her suddenly. Jeremy never mentioned his mother by her first name, and since she’d remarried her last name wouldn’t be Fisher any longer. It would be something else. Something Tori didn’t know. She wanted to sink through the floor, especially when the other woman made no move to reduce Tori’s embarrassment. She didn’t even shake her hand. Tori dropped her hand to her side, feeling sick to her stomach.
“Oh, I’m sorry, Tori. Mom is now Carol Heppner. I can’t believe I forgot to mention that.”
“Yes really, Jeremy, it’s like you don’t care who I am at all,” his mother chided, but instead of being hurt she just looked...disinterested.
“Oh, wait.” Tori tried a smile and pried open the catch on her purse. “Mrs. Heppner, I brought you something. Just to say thank-you for having me tonight.”
She took out the robin’s-egg-blue bag and held it out. When she’d been shopping for Jeremy’s decorations, she’d seen it and had thought maybe it would be fancy enough for his mother. She hadn’t wanted to arrive empty-handed.
Jeremy looked uncomfortable and Carol stared at the bag for a moment before taking it. “Thank you.”
She moved to hand it off to a servant when Jeremy’s brittle voice came from beside her.
“Aren’t you going to open it, Mother?”
With a sigh, Carol opened the bag, then the box inside, and the pouch inside that. She removed the delicate snowman on the red ribbon that Tori had thought so cute and that had taken a substantial chunk of her bank account.
“Isn’t that...charming.”
She stared at Tori’s belly again, then looked at Jeremy and said, “I do hope you enjoy the party. Have you seen Sarah? She’s here.”
“We saw her on the way in.” With a defiant set to his jaw, he added, “She wanted to congratulate us on the baby.”
A weak smile touched his mother’s lips. “Odd, how you wait until a party to tell your own mother. Oh, well. Let me add my congratulations, then. But excuse me. I do have other guests to attend to.”
She walked away. Tori watched as she handed off the ornament to a staff member as if it were nothing at all.
“You got her a hostess gift? Tori, that’s ballsy.”
“Yeah, well, she didn’t look impressed.”
“Of course not. She’s never impressed.” His gaze softened.
“I knew she’d have...exacting tastes. I know it was small. And a snowman... I’m an idiot.”
He put his arm around her. “No, you’re not. You’re incredibly sweet and have better manners than my mother. Come on, let’s find Sarah. She’s as emotionally stunted as the rest of us, but she tries. And she’s an ally.”
Tori tried not to laugh but couldn’t help it. Emotionally stunted? She didn’t think Jeremy was. She thought he covered a lot with smiles and charm, but the last week he’d revealed a lot about himself.
“All right. Could I have another club soda, though? I feel like I need to have something in my hand.”
“Of course. And dinner will be soon.”
They mingled their way through the room in search of Sarah, whom they found in a corner drinking a glass of wine and holding an animated conversation with a man who looked perhaps thirty. As they drew closer, Tori could tell the conversation was centered on financial stuff she didn’t understand. Sarah was clearly schooling the younger man, who was openly flirting back. What was it like to have that kind of confidence?”
“Excuse me,” Sarah said. “I’m going to chat with my brother for a few minutes.”
She extricated herself from the conversation and turned to Tori and Jeremy. “Oh, my goodness. They get younger every time I turn around. Thanks for the rescue.”
“One good turn deserves another. We saw Mom.”
“That must have been entertaining. I’m sorry I missed it.” She took a big sip of wine. “What did she say?”
Tori looked up. “She said congratulations.”
Sarah snorted. “She did not. And if she did, it wasn’t in that sweet way that you just did. By the way, I can’t place your accent. Where are you from?”
“Nova Scotia.”
Sarah looked at Jeremy. “Last summer’s trip.”
He grinned. “Surprise.” Then he leaned over and kissed Tori’s cheek. “It wasn’t quite what we planned on happening, but life doesn’t always go according to plan.”
They chatted a while longer and Tori started to relax. Once everyone was seated at dinner, she let out a long breath. “Okay. I think I’m doing okay.”
“You are. I told you not to pay any attention to my mom. Everyone else loves you.”
Well, everyone except Jeremy’s stepdad. The best that could be said of him was that he was utterly ambivalent.
Tori and Jeremy sat together during the meal, which included foods that Tori had never even seen before but bravely tried. She avoided the pâté and soft cheese, but enjoyed whatever the poultry dish was—perhaps duck?—and some sort of fancy potato. And the dessert was delightful, a tarte tatin with cream. Not too exotic, but extra special. Something she’d love to have at the Sandpiper...
Except she wasn’t going to be there anymore, was she? Her heart gave a little pang at the thought. Saying goodbye was going to be so very hard. She’d put her heart and soul into the resort.
As the sounds of clinking silverware and crystal glasses slowed, she wondered if this kind of thing would become her life. It was nice for a visit, but she wouldn’t want to live like this. Then again, Jeremy didn’t live like this. His place was extravagant but his mood was relaxed, his tastes plainer. Like eating casserole two hours late, or ordering in a pizza from his favorite pizza joint. Cheesecake at ten o’clock at night.
She understood now why he’d wanted her to come. This was where he’d come from, but it wasn’t where he wanted to be. He’d always be connected to his family, but this wasn’t the life he had chosen for himself.
Or for his child.
She leaned over. “This was delicious, but I think I get it now.”
“Get what?”
“What you said about me needing to see it. Promise me we won’t end up like this. I want backyard barbecues and kitchen parties and people feeling welcomed.”
He looked into her eyes. “Of course you do. It’s what you’ve always known.”
“I’m sorry you haven’t.”
“I survived.” He flashed her a smile. “Come on, let’s go back to the drawing room, as Mother likes to call it. It makes her feel aristocratic.”
She laughed and they rose from the table. Now that dinner was over, the mood was even more relaxed in the large room. More wine was poured, and brandy. Tori realized that Jeremy had had his cocktail upon entering and one glass of wine at dinner, but that was it. When she mentioned as much, he shrugged. “I know we said we’d stay the night and go back tomorrow morning, but now I’m thinking we can drive back tonight. If that’s okay with you.”
She had no desire to stay any longer than she had to. She was a fish out of water here. “Whatever you want to do.”
“I’m going to find Mom and let her know. We don’t have to stay much longer if you’re tired.”
He left her with Sarah, who was definitely staying as she’d now switched to gin and tonic. “I know, I shouldn’t,” she said. “But I am staying the night, and it’s the only way these parties are bearable.”
“Then why come?” Tori asked. She’d given up club soda and was now drinking straight-up water.
“I don’t know. Because it’s expected. Because we get the ‘you only visit your mother twice a year’ guilt trip. And because we can’t stand each other, but a few times a year we pretend to and it makes us feel better about our stupid dysfunctional family.”
Tori snorted. Sarah didn’t have much of a filter after a few drinks.
“But you and Jeremy...you get along okay.”
“We muddle through. Out of the whole family, we’re probably the closest.”
“I’m glad. He talks about you a lot.”
Sarah looked pleased at that. “I think you’re good for him, if tonight hasn’t scared you off.”
“We’re trying to figure it out.” She put her hand on her stomach and sighed. “Can you tell me where the powder room is? I haven’t gone all night and the baby’s sitting right in a good spot.” She smiled at Sarah.
“Outside the door, go right, down the hall. There’s a door on the left just across from Bruce’s office.” She turned up her nose. “He likes to go in there for a cigar after dinner. Gross.”
“Thanks. If Jeremy comes back, tell him I won’t be long.”
She made her way down the hall, away from the noise. The house truly was gorgeous, a real showpiece with creamy walls, white trim and a gorgeous iron railing on the staircase leading to the next floor, which was now bedecked with boughs and ribbon. There wasn’t a speck of dust or a thing out of place. No personal knickknacks or photos; just perfectly placed flower arrangements—holiday themed, of course—and pieces of art on the walls. Each one was perfectly level, as if it wouldn’t dare be a little bit crooked.
Beautiful, and perfect. But there was no personality, no sense of the people who lived there.
She caught sight of an open door—presumably the powder room—when she heard voices coming from the room across the hall.
Jeremy’s voice. And his mother’s in reply.
She went to the door, staying slightly behind. There’d been a strident reply to something from Jeremy, but she hadn’t been able to make out the words. Now she strained to hear. She hoped he wasn’t getting a lot of grief from his mother. They could just stay over if it was going to be a big deal for them to leave early.
“Why didn’t I tell you before? When was the last time you called me, Mother? Asked how I was? I mean, do you even care?”
“Of course I care, Jeremy.” Her voice was cold. “I’m going to be a grandmother.”
“I highly doubt it. You weren’t mother material, you sure as hell aren’t cut out to be a grandmother.”
Ouch.
“You’re so cruel,” she replied. “And finding out tonight, in a room full of guests? It was embarrassing. Or was that your intention?”
He didn’t answer, so his mother continued in her patronizing voice. “Look, she’s probably nice enough, in her way. But really, Jeremy? She’s not our kind of people. She’s plain, and...uncultured.”
“And you know that after sneering at her for two minutes?”
“Seriously. The way you’re acting, you’d think you were in love with the girl. You aren’t, are you?”
Tori held her breath. Her pride stung from his mother’s assessment, but she was angry on Jeremy’s behalf. No wonder he stayed away. What a horrible creature.
Jeremy hesitated. Then he said the words: “Of course I’m not. Don’t be ridiculous.”
Tori’s heart plummeted to her feet. The way he’d kissed her. Held her hand. Made love...
It couldn’t all have been an act.
She refused to believe it.
“I’m not going to ask you how she got pregnant. We both know that and I don’t need the details. What are you going to do about it now?”
“She’s here, isn’t she?” he snapped, and Tori blinked back tears. He sounded so...harsh. “Look. No kid of mine is going to wonder where the hell his father is. You and Dad...you should never have procreated. He left and you wanted nothing to do with us. And here’s what you need to know. I will do anything—anything—to make sure I do a better job of parenting my kid than you ever did.”
Silence dropped for a moment. Then his mother spoke quietly. “Even pretend to love its mother?”
“Even that. Whatever it takes.”
“So you’re not in love with her. I knew it.”
“Mother, please.”
Tori stepped backward from the door, reeling from the pure derision laced in his voice. She hurried back down the hall, determined he not see her. She came across one of the waitstaff and asked where she could find another bathroom. Once she’d located it, she went inside, shut the door and sat on the closed toilet for thirty seconds while she tried to sort out her thoughts. Her feelings.
She’d been played.
Mother, please.
Those words replayed over and over in her head. She’d really fallen for it, hadn’t she? All the expensive outings and private flights and sweet words... He’d used his money after all, to get her to do what he wanted. He didn’t even have to get a lawyer involved. He’d used her emotions instead, and played her like a violin.
She got off the toilet, turned around and opened the lid. Though she hadn’t thrown up for weeks now, her dinner came back up and left her gasping.
Then she flushed the toilet, washed her hands, and patted her face as best she could. She wouldn’t cry, not now. But she was more than ready to go home and lick her wounds. And once she’d done that, she’d start making plans to raise her baby.
Hurt threatened to pierce her heart, but she steeled herself and kept it away by sheer force of will. She’d gone along with every single thing he’d suggested, and she’d fallen in love with him. Except it wasn’t really him; just a show he’d put on to get what he wanted. And what made her the angriest was that he was planning on working out his childhood issues by using his own child as...what? Therapy? That was no way to bring a baby into the world. Not to solve your own problems.
She still had her clutch with her, and she took out her phone, turned on the data and booked a flight back to Halifax for the next day, on a commercial flight, which left approximately seventy-two dollars of available credit on her card. A knock sounded on the bathroom door just as she was getting the confirmation email. “Tori? Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” she replied, lifting her chin and staring at herself in the mirror. Right now she hated this dress. It wasn’t her. It was someone she thought she could be. It was a lie, just like everything he’d said had been a lie.
“Are you sick?”
“I’ll be right out.” She squared her shoulders and opened the door, unprepared for the shaft of pain she felt upon seeing his concerned face. He wanted her baby, not her. And she rather wished he’d just been honest about that from the beginning, rather than manipulating her.
“Sorry. Turns out dinner didn’t agree with me after all. I think I’d like to go...” She hesitated before saying home. “Back to the apartment.”
He didn’t say much, just watched her with an odd expression as she passed him on her way out the door and led the way to the stairs.
“If that’s what you want, I’ll get our coats.”
It was a long drive back to the city. She didn’t relish the idea of being in the car with him for that long, because she wasn’t ready to talk about this yet. But it was her only way back to New York. It wasn’t like she could ask Sarah. She’d been drinking all night. And Tori refused to cause a scene here.
She didn’t bother saying goodbye to Sarah and she certainly didn’t say goodbye to the hosts, who hadn’t wanted her there to begin with. The snow flurries had stopped, thankfully, and at least they wouldn’t be driving back in a heavier snowfall.
She got in the car and he turned on the heater while he cleared off the half inch or so of snow that had fallen earlier.
“Are you sure you’re all right? You look flushed.”
“I’m fine. Tired.” Her heightened color was because she was agitated. Her heart ached and yet she felt outrage. At him, at herself for being so willing to fall for him and his pretty stories of what their life could be together.
She’d been a fool.
And yet she didn’t know how to navigate the conversation that needed to happen, so she leaned her head against the car window and stared outside at the darkness. After a few minutes, she closed her eyes and pretended to sleep.
Her thoughts were anything but quiet.
Her heart was broken. Her trust was broken. Her faith was broken. She’d believed him when he’d said he cared for her. When he’d promised not to use his money to fight for his advantage. But he’d used it anyway, in a method far more ruthless.
He’d never said he loved her. He’d used the words like and care. But never love. It was as though his conscience wouldn’t let him go that far.
Tears leaked from the corners of her eyes and she fought the urge to wipe them away.
Most of all she was angry with herself, for buying into it all so willingly.
He didn’t say anything until they were in the city. “Tori, wake up. We’re almost home.”
She’d never been asleep but she pretended to perk up, sitting up in the seat and stretching. Her neck was cramped from leaning at an angle on the car door, and her heart felt raw and empty. Now she was minutes away from the conversation she didn’t want to have. But she wouldn’t run with her tail between her legs as if she had done something wrong.
“Feeling any better?”
“A little,” she lied.
“The food was a little rich. Maybe it was just too much.”
She didn’t reply until they’d reached his building, gone up in the elevator and he was opening the door.
“It wasn’t the food that made me sick.” She peeled off the cape and put it on a chair in the foyer. She wouldn’t take it with her. It was too expensive. A symbol of everything that was wrong with their relationship. She’d take only the things she’d brought with her in the first place. They were good enough for home.
“What was it?” Concern etched the corners of his eyes and she wanted to scream at him to stop pretending he cared.
“I was upset.”
“I know it was a hard night—”
“I was upset at you.” She kicked off her heels. “I heard you talking to your mother. And just so you know, I’m booked on a flight back home tomorrow morning. Leaving from Newark.” It was the only direct flight she could manage, and she did not want to spend two hours in Toronto going through customs and sitting around waiting for another flight.
His face blanked, and a flush crept up his neck. “I don’t know what you think you heard...”
Her anger flared now, hot and bright. “Please, do me the courtesy of not lying to my face again. I’m not mistaken. I have excellent hearing.”
“My mother doesn’t bring out my best qualities.”
“Oh, you mean like finding out you’re a liar? That you did exactly what you promised you wouldn’t do?”
“I don’t understand. Why are you yelling at me?”
Because you don’t love me, she wanted to scream, but she could hardly do that. It sounded pitiful and she wasn’t going to beg.
“It’s okay that you’re not in love with me. And yeah, we haven’t known each other long, despite the fact that we’re having a baby together. But you used me, and you pretended to care, because you’d do anything to ensure you show your mother what a horrible parent she was. Even pretend to love me. And those are your words, not mine.”
His mouth fell open.
She waited.
“You weren’t supposed to hear that,” he said, his voice quiet and rough.
“Clearly. But I did hear it, and I’m glad. Because you manipulated me. Tell me, Jeremy, if you manipulate the mother of your child, are you going to manipulate the baby, too? Use him or her to work out all your own mommy and daddy issues?”
His cheeks reddened. “This is so easy for you to say, when you had two parents growing up who clearly loved and cared for you.”
Tori took a step forward. “You are a grown man. Do not blame your poor decision-making on your mother. You had the chance to act with integrity. This is on you, and not anyone else.” Tears burned in her eyes. “You used my emotions. But more than that, you’ve lost my respect. And that hurts almost as much as knowing you played me.”
His face twisted in pain, and he turned away for a moment. She saw his shoulders rise and fall with a deep breath. Then he turned back. She didn’t want to be moved by the look in his eyes. He looked tortured, but she steeled her spine. If he was, it was because he was dealing with the consequences of his actions.
“You’ve got it all wrong.”
“How do I have it wrong? I heard you. Clear as day.”
“I lied.”
Her traitorous heart kicked a little bit when he said it, but she quickly replaced the momentary elation with doubt. “You lied...to whom? To me? To your mother? How am I supposed to believe you?”
Jeremy ran his hand through his hair, a gesture she now knew he used when he was agitated. “To my mother. Do you seriously think that I would admit my feelings for you to her?”
“Why not? What would happen if you did? It’s not like you have a great relationship with her anyway.”
“I just... I keep my feelings locked away there. Anytime I tried to talk to her as a kid I was told to get over it or I got a laundry list of all the advantages I had and how I was ungrateful for complaining. It’s what I do, on instinct. So does Sarah. We all do.” He lowered his voice. “I don’t... I mean, it’s a vulnerability thing.”
She could understand that, but it didn’t excuse his behavior. “Again, Jeremy, you’re a grown man. You’re educated, successful. Powerful. And you can’t stand up to your mom? That says a lot to me.”
“I don’t want her to know how I feel. I don’t want her to see any weakness. My feelings for you—”
“What, make you weak?” Hardly a compliment. “When people care about each other, it’s supposed to make them more, not less. And somehow you’ve got it in your brain that weakness, vulnerability, is a bad thing. It’s not.”
“It’s never been a good thing,” he bit back. “For Pete’s sake, I don’t even think I know how to love anyone. This whole situation terrifies me.”
Everything was falling apart. Even if it was true that he’d lied to his mom, that he really did care about her, he considered that a chink in his armor.
She wanted to believe his feelings for her were real. But even if they were, tonight had cast serious doubts on their future. If he was incapable of loving, if he considered that a weakness, how could he possibly love their baby? For all his good intentions, she never wanted her child to feel rejected by its father. Or to have to beg for affection.
“Let me tell you about weakness,” she said quietly. “And vulnerability. From the moment I discovered I was pregnant, I knew I was vulnerable because of the power imbalance in our situations. I wouldn’t have the resources to fight you for custody of our child if you decided to take me to court. Then you showed up and I was forced to tell you the truth. I figured if we could be on good terms, we could work through something together. You reminded me of the man I met in the summer. You were kind. I started to care for you again. You asked me to come here, and I did. You asked me to uproot my life and I was willing to consider it, even though the job I love and my family and friends are all back in Nova Scotia. I trusted you. I believed in you. And I’m not afraid to say it, even though you are. I fell in love with you.”
“Tori—”
“No.” She held up a hand. “Just no. I fell in love with the person I thought Jeremy Fisher was. Tonight I discovered he is someone else. He did a great job of faking it, but I don’t know you. You wanted me to go tonight so I knew what I was getting into, and boy do I ever. So I’m going home. And after a while, we’ll discuss custody and visitation like rational adults, I hope. Financial situation or not, I will fight back if you choose to get lawyers involved. I hope it doesn’t come to that.”
His eyes dulled and he looked utterly bereft. She didn’t want to be affected by his forlorn look, but she was.
“Everything before tonight... It was true. I swear it.”
Her insides trembled. “I don’t know how to believe you. I don’t know which Jeremy is the real one. And that’s not something I’m willing to bet my life or my baby’s happiness on. I’m sorry, Jeremy.”
She moved past him and down the hall to her room, where she started to pack her bags. He came to stand in the doorway. “Please, Tori. I’m trying here.” He ran his hand through his hair. “My mom brings out the worst in me, and I’m so sorry. I should have been stronger. Should have been honest.”
She looked up at him. “The thing is, I think you were honest. I think your number one priority is to show your mother that you can be better than her. It’s not me, and it’s not love that’s driving that decision. I won’t uproot my whole life on that sort of gamble.”
For a moment, she thought she saw tears glimmer in his eyes, and her resolve wavered. Then he swallowed and said, “What time is your flight tomorrow?”
“Ten.”
“Get some sleep, then. I’ll get you to the airport in lots of time.”
She opened a drawer and took out some sweaters.
“Tori, I’m sorry. I handled everything badly. I know I messed this up. Wait, and let’s try to work through it.”
“I just need to go home,” she said, not looking at him.
She sensed when he left her doorway, and she braced her hands on her suitcase as her head drooped. Was she overreacting? His explanations made sense, but the fact remained that even if he’d lied to his mother, he hadn’t stood up for Tori. And even though he’d said he’d lied, he hadn’t said that he loved her, either. Even after she’d admitted her feelings first.
She texted her mom, asking if she could pick her up at the airport the next afternoon, then finished packing. She sat up the rest of the night, unable to sleep.
When six thirty rolled around, she ordered a taxi and quietly made her way out of his apartment and to the bottom floor. She couldn’t handle saying goodbye; her feelings were too raw. She didn’t want to sit through another ride to the airport, either. When the cab arrived, the driver put her suitcase and carry bag in the trunk and they were off to New Jersey.
She was going home. Alone.