Foster Care Alumna and Transracial Adoptee
INTERVIEWED BY TELEPHONE, MAY 11, 2013
Chelsey, I am happy to spend time with you here. You transitioned from your biological family support system into the U.S. foster care system and ultimately, years later, into an adoptive home. Can you talk about your family background and how you entered into the foster care system?
I was born in 1992 and lived in Aurora, Colorado, with my biological grandpa and grandma, my mom and my dad, and my brother and two sisters. My mom and dad were smoking crack and had a hard time taking care of us. My grandmother was also smoking crack. She was the one who actually called Children’s Social Services to come take us out of the house. Social Services found that my family really could not take care of me and my siblings. They took my brother and me and put us in one foster care home, and then they took my two sisters and put them in another foster care home. I don’t remember the exact age that I was first put into the foster care system, but I was young.
Do you remember the first foster care home you and your brother went into?
Yes. The first foster care home we went into, the adults were really strict on me and my brother. Sometime after we were there, I remember their son—he called me and my brother a nigger. We both got mad and beat up on him. That’s when Social Services came in and separated us. My brother, who was four years older than me, knew more about what they were doing to us, where they were taking us, and where my sisters were living. He knew.
How would you describe how you felt when you were placed in your initial foster care home?
I was scared. I was angry. I was upset. I didn’t want to be with the people that they put us in foster care with. I didn’t think it was fair because most of the time I felt me and my brother were being judged for what my biological mother and father did. They just judged us off of that.
Were your foster care parents white or black?
They were white. All of the foster care people I had were white.
After you and your brother were separated, you went into another foster care home. How long did you stay there?
It was probably less than a month, and then Social Services came in and switched me to where my sisters were living. That home was okay. We were doing pretty well, and then something happened with my younger sister, where they sent her to a “crazy home.” She was mentally and emotionally not there because we were taken away from our parents. So they sent her away, and then my older sister started to act out. So she was moved into another foster care home. I was the only one left. I was there for maybe three or five more months. I guess the lady lost her fostering license so they had to move me into another foster care home. I just kept on moving from foster homes to foster homes. Really, I can’t remember all of the foster care homes I was in because it happened so fast.
That’s incredible to me. Nobody set you down to explain what to expect as you were moving from one foster care home to the next?
No. Nobody set me down and explained to me that I had to move here and how many weeks I had to plan for the move and what the family would be like. It was that day. The social worker came and got me and my stuff and took me to another foster care home after another foster care home after another foster care home—I have been in so many, it kind of just blurs together.
What was the most difficult part of your experience in the foster care system?
The most difficult part of my experience in the foster care system was being separated from my siblings and then also not knowing these people I was living with and them not caring about me. The foster care parents told me that they were doing it because God told them to do it. Personally, based on my experience, I think that most of these people who run these foster care homes are doing it because of the money. I don’t really think they spend much time in getting to know the kid and the kid’s background. And then they don’t bother telling the kid about their background or where they came from.
Were you in contact at any point with your biological parents during your time in foster care?
Yes. There was a year where we were able to do these visits. It was in a room. Supervisors would watch all of us play and talk. They would always be constantly watching. At the time I wasn’t really quite sure what that was about. But I felt kind of awkward, like why do I have to be watched while I am visiting my brother and my sister and my mom? And then after a year my mother couldn’t get her stuff together, so they took her visiting rights away. So then after that, I couldn’t really see my brother and sister. We just fell off.
I am having such a hard time getting through our discussion. This is so painful.
[Pause]
During the time of your visit with your biological family, how did you feel about your birth mother and birth father in particular at that point?
Well, my biological dad, I really didn’t like him. I didn’t mention him. I hated him because he was not there for his kids or for my mom. When he was around, he abused my mom and he abused us kids. It was bad. As far as my mom, I really missed her. I really loved her. I didn’t understand what the social workers were saying about her and why we couldn’t see her. I was really upset about the whole situation.
What for you worked in the foster care system and what didn’t?
In the foster care system I had a roof over my head. I had food to eat. Those were good things. I was blessed that I didn’t get physically abused in foster care. When I lived at home, my dad physically abused me and so did my grandpa. What didn’t work was that the foster care people that were to oversee me and other kids in the foster care system did not pay attention to us. It is like favoritism. They favored their biological kids over the foster care kids. The foster care kids that I saw weren’t shown much love. And I think that’s what most kids who are in those situations are really looking for, love and somebody who is actually going to be there for them and not leave them or judge them.
How were you doing in school during the time you were living with your biological family and functioning within the foster care system?
In the beginning I was not going to school when I was living with my biological family. Then, when I went into the foster care system, I kept moving from school to school to school. Really, that wasn’t any good education for me because I had to move so much that I would get behind in my classwork. It was really hard.
What age were you when you were adopted?
I was adopted when I was nine years old by Chuck and Sarah [pseudonyms]. I lived with them first a few months, and then they decided to adopt me. I remember they asked me if that was okay. I was only nine years old, so I really didn’t know what that meant at the time. In my mind I was thinking, “Adoption, okay, what does this mean?” I was kind of rushed into making a decision, and I told myself just to say yes.
Similar to your foster care guardians, your adoptive parents are also white. You came, Chelsey, into your adoptive family with a strikingly different family background and experiences: You were biracial. Your hair was different. Your views were different. Your history with your own biological family and your experiences in the foster care system were different, to name a few examples. What did your adoptive family do with that information?
In my opinion I don’t think that my adoptive family did much with the information about my background or even how I looked. When I came to Chuck and Sarah’s house, I was little and I really didn’t know how to do my hair. And they definitely didn’t know how to do black people’s hair. The products that they used for their hair were not made to be used on my hair. In general, black people’s hair requires more time to manage and can be kind of more expensive to care for, compared to white people’s hair care needs. And my adoptive family was on a budget. It seems like all of the foster people I had, and Chuck and Sarah, were always on a budget, but it didn’t include what I needed to take care of my body and my hair. Yet they could afford what they needed. At one point my adoptive parents actually cut my hair all the way off and made it into a little boy’s style. It was okay because I was a tomboy, and so I didn’t mind. But wow! You shouldn’t put a mixed kid with nappy hair into a home where the parents don’t know how to deal with, or want to deal with, hair like mine. It’s like my adoptive parents really didn’t know anything about racially mixed kids or African Americans. They didn’t know. Later I told them what I knew about my hair care needs. They did do some research, but I don’t think that they did as much as they could have.
Did your adoptive parents share with you why they decided on bringing you into their family permanently?
No. It was more like they said to me that they wanted to adopt me so that I could be a part of their family. I can’t remember a conversation that you are talking about happening with my adoptive parents.
You also have nonadoptive siblings in your family.
Yes. I have a brother, Alex, who is now sixteen, and a sister, Nicole, who is thirteen [both are biological children of Chuck and Sarah].3
Did you feel like your adoptive parents treated you and your siblings equally or fairly?
No, I didn’t feel that way. I think that they favored their biological children more than me. They would participate in activities that Alex and Nicole enjoyed. I also noticed that the consequences of their negative actions were not the same as my consequences doing some of the same things that they had done. I felt kind of left out and alone, still—even though I “had a family.”
Can you give me some examples about how you believe your parents treated their biological kids differently than you?
Yes. When I got in trouble, I would have to go to bed early. I wouldn’t be able to have my lights on in my room. They would take the hinges off my bedroom door and take the door away. I would not have any privacy. They didn’t care. If their biological daughter did the same thing that I did, it wouldn’t be as big of a deal; her consequences wouldn’t be as strict.
So you are in your adoptive family. Do you call them Mom and Dad?
I did because I felt obligated to because they were helping me. They had a roof over my head. Also if I didn’t call them Mom and Dad, they wouldn’t respond to me. So if I said, “Hey, Chuck or Sarah, can I do this?” they wouldn’t try to listen to me. If I said, “Hey, Dad and Mom, can I do this?” they would listen. That is another reason why I felt obligated to call them Mom and Dad. I wouldn’t be heard.
Tell me where you lived when you joined your adoptive family.
We lived in a small town outside of Denver, Colorado. Most of my adoptive parents’ family lived near us. In the town we lived in, it was mostly Mexicans and white people. There were a few black people but not many. So in that situation I also didn’t have any black friends. I lived in a small town where I stood in the background. It was not where I came from.
How did it work for you to be in your adoptive family?
It was okay some of the time, but most of the time it was hard for me to do what they were doing and be a part of their life. For example, when I went out with my adoptive family, it was hard because I always stood out because I was a mixed kid with a white family, and everywhere I went people stopped and stared like, “What are they doing with her?!” As I got older, I didn’t want to do things with them as a family because I felt so awkward. I didn’t really want to be seen with them because I didn’t feel like I fit in.
As you know, I was in Colorado a few years ago at a speaking event on transracial adoption, and your parents invited me to their home for a visit. I spent time with your entire family and had good memories. When I spent time with you, what was that experience like for you?
I was very happy and excited that you came to the house. I appreciated you also taking me out so that we could talk privately. I felt like you understood where I came from and didn’t judge me. Because you lived in a white family and were honest about your experiences, I felt that you knew and understood what I was going through. We had a connection. It was really sad when you had to go.
I enjoyed getting to know you too. I saw, and continue to see, so much potential in you. Chelsey, were you then able to express to your parents how much having somebody you could relate to, especially given your experiences, was helpful to you?
Yes, I expressed that to them. But in my opinion they did not try to do anything about it after you left. I don’t think that they saw the importance for a mixed kid to have a positive African American role model that looks like the kid.
After I saw you in Colorado, I lost track of you for a couple of years. Your life took some abrupt turns. Tell me what happened.
Yes. My life did take some abrupt turns. I went to jail.4 After I got out, I asked Chuck and Sarah if I could live with my biological parents. They actually allowed me to go live with my biological family in Denver. I was messing up there. I was not really doing anything there that was helping me put my best foot forward.
Let me stop you. Why was it important for you to go back to Denver?
In Denver there was more of my background there. Where I was going, it was in a more diverse community racially. It was not all white people or all black people. There was a mixture, where I was going, of people who looked like me. And I felt more comfortable in Denver. I felt like I could be myself. I needed to show that I was a mixed child and not be ashamed of that truth.
[I was ashamed of] . . . being in foster care and then being in an adoptive home, where I did not feel like I was seen. I felt like I was an object that just kept on getting moved around. I did not feel like my adoptive parents helped me to figure out who I was as a person that was also mixed race.
So you went back to Denver to live with your biological family. How did that work out?
It was rough, definitely tougher than I thought. I thought we would all be happy again to see each other. But actually stuff went downhill. My older sister and I didn’t get along, and we started physically fighting. That caused more problems. My younger sister started fighting me. My brother, he didn’t really care. He was just mean. It was not as great of a deal as I thought it would be. I struggled through it.
Did your adoptive parents visit you in Denver during this time?
If they were coming to Denver, they would try to get a hold of me, like, “We are coming to Denver for such and such. We just wanted to see if we could stop by.” It wasn’t because they wanted to visit me as the main reason. It was because they already had plans to come out to Denver, and I was just on their route.
How did you make the move from Denver to Tennessee?
When I was still living in Denver with my biological family, I went to . . . a Christian school that helps at-risk kids get back on track with their schooling. I really enjoyed it. But then I got kicked out. There was this white girl who was in one of my classes. She would talk shit in my ear. I stood up and got loud. I told her, “I’m not the one to be messin’ with because I’m not about to sit back here with you whispering in my ear. So you just need to shut up because I am not tryin’ to deal with what you are saying.” This girl was saying some weird stuff to me. The administrators thought that I was being mean to her, so they kicked me out of the school. I was on my last warning there, and that was the final one. But it was at that school that I met my girlfriend and had my chance to leave Colorado. My girlfriend and I first moved to Kansas and then to Tennessee.
Do you feel that you are in a safer place with your girlfriend in Tennessee?
Yes, I do. I am accomplishing my goals. I feel like a stronger and better woman. I have been through a lot, but I am still here standing. A lot has happened in my life, and I feel like I can be heard now. I feel like I can change other peoples’ lives through my story, through my journey.
What advice would you give to other foster care kids who are struggling with their identity and trying to make it day by day?
My advice is that they continue to keep on pushing on. I am not going to say that life will necessarily get easier. That would be a lie. You go through trials and tribulations each day. But if you keep strong and trust in what you believe in, then there will be a way for you in this world—in this world there is a way.
I want to go back to our discussion on adoption. Are you supportive of transracial adoption?
I am supportive of transracial adoption, but then again I am not. The “I am” part is that I am so glad that there are people who believe that they can handle having an African American kid step into their family. What I am not happy about, and what I am angry about, is that too many of these families are not prepared to raise a black child or any child of color. They think they know what it takes, but many don’t have any idea, and the child is the one that gets hurt the most. You can’t just stick a kid in a placement home and expect them not to be angry but be grateful all of the time. I can tell you that many times, for these kids like me, their smiles are fake. I know because when I was smiling it wasn’t real. Foster care and adoptive parents need to try to relate to and understand the kids that they are taking in and be there for them and actually touch the kids’ heart. They are not doing a good job.
Did you feel that the social workers in your life were listening to you, particularly as you were making transitions into different homes?
Oh, no, the social workers weren’t listening to me either. They were there to do their job and check up on me. After they spent the required hour with the family, they would say, “I will see you all next week.” They didn’t even pull me or the other foster kids aside one on one to determine what really was going on in the house. It would have been even nice if the social workers, for example, put all of the family members in a circle so that we could all talk honestly about what was going on in our lives. Then I would have begun to believe that the social workers respected all of our opinions, including the foster care kids’.
Chelsey, how did you feel when you were in foster care and then when you were in your adoptive home?
I felt alone. I felt like no one understood me. But yet I knew that I had to keep pushing on anyway. I had to still be, I would say, grown. I had to have a grown mentality of survival because in foster care I could not survive as a child. Then in my adoptive home it was the same thing. I just did not feel right. Inside I felt sad. I felt depressed. Outwardly to my adoptive family I expressed anger at times. I didn’t like it. I did not want to be there.
Where did the anger come from?
Where did the anger come from? I really don’t know exactly, but I think it had a lot to do with all of the hurt and pain I felt on the inside—of not knowing what was really going on. Why was I in foster care? Why am I in this adoptive home? The foster care system and my adoptive family kept so much that impacted me a secret. That was and is my life! There should not be any secrets about my life, even as a child. I think that the foster care system and my adoptive family lost what really was important. It is about the child’s life. It is not about the system making money off of kids or just the comfort of the adoptive parents.
Do you consider your adoptive family your family?
Yes. They are still my family. I love them very much. I have respect for them. However, even after years of not living with my adoptive parents, I am still angry with them. I believe that I have that right.
I am angry with my parents because I do not think that they are helping me or guiding me as they should. For example, if you call yourself a mom or a dad, to me, then, I think that I should be able to call you with any and everything, and you should be there for me. For the most part, if I communicate with my mom, it is because I am the one who calls or texts her. And when I do contact her, she gets angry with me because she thinks that the reason why I call or text her is because I need something. But I think that is her job as a parent, to fulfill the needs of her child’s life and show the child the right direction. But if you just stop when it is painful and then say, “Well, I guess you can go back to your biological parents,” then you really don’t care about raising me. In my mind I see that you, as the parent, aren’t taking the time and energy that you committed yourself to when you chose to adopt the child in the first place. The commitment part when it came to me, my adoptive parents failed. They failed.
What can adoptive parents do differently that would be supportive of the child and his or her needs?
What adoptive parents can do is actually participate and invest in their child’s life and, like I have been saying, try to understand the child and what that child has gone through before he or she is placed in their home. Instead of so quickly making it seem when there are troubles that it is the kid’s fault, that the kid is the crazy one, and then putting him or her on medication so that they can walk around like zombies. That’s not right. Parents need to be there for their child. When you are looking to adopt, you should know the responsibility of actually adopting a kid and what that means long term. If you think it is fun and games, it really isn’t. If you are choosing to adopt, you should be trying to change the kid’s life for the better. The goal should not be for this kid to be sad and depressed and just the same way as they came into your home from the foster care system. I think that when you adopt a child, it is no longer temporary. It is a whole different page. Adoption should be supportive and permanent.
You are definitely making a way for yourself despite incredible obstacles. What, if anything, do you still want from your adoptive parents?
I want them to acknowledge that I am a human being, just like they are. I am still here. I want them to try harder. They call themselves parents so that is what they need to be for me. When I turn thirty, forty, if they are still the alive, then they should be the parents that they said that they were going to be when they chose to adopt me at the age of nine.
Now that you are in a relationship with your girlfriend, how has that relationship helped you to grow into a more effective person?
Now I am freer about things. I really don’t care what people think or say. Being gay, I don’t hide it. I am just out there. If somebody does not like that I am gay, they do not have to be my friend. This is who I choose to be.
Being gay is who you choose to be?
Yes. I feel much safer in my relationship with my girlfriend. She treats me good and is supportive of me and my goals. Earlier, in my years before I went into foster care, I was raped by my uncle. In general I am not fond of how guys that I have been around treat women. I think that they are very disrespectful toward women. I think because of how many times that I have been raped by guys, it made sense for me to switch to a girlfriend. Plus, my girlfriend and I have so much in common and we enjoy spending time together.
Do you feel that you are in a better place now than you were years ago?
Yes, I do.
As a black woman how do you feel?
As a black woman I feel strong. I feel that people are intimidated by what I have been through and overcome. I can speak my mind in a positive way, and I think that threatens some people. There is always truth behind what I speak, regardless of how people look at me or talk about me.
One of the things that I think about when I navigate in my white adoptive family, nuclear and extended, is whether they will accept all of who I am.
I think about that too. But now, as I have gotten older, I don’t think about it as much. If people who I care about don’t accept me for who I am, yes, it is going to hurt me deep inside, but as a woman I have learned to have a strong outward appearance and brush it off. It is sad, but I have learned that I can’t change somebody else. If somebody decides that they don’t want to see the good in me and only bring up my past, then maybe I shouldn’t be around them.
What would you say makes Chelsey amazing?
My life story. How I have handled my challenges and obstacles. And how I have become the woman I am today which is a beautiful, tranquil, African American individual.
Where do you get your support and encouragement from?
I get my support and encouragement from my girlfriend and her mom. They have really helped me. I really don’t get it from my family. I am not confident that they are going to give that to me because they have their own biological kids that they are more concerned about and their own concerns. I also don’t think that they understand what I have gone through. They communicate to me through their words and actions that everything about me is a bummer. And then I don’t think that I will find support with my biological family because they are insecure about many things from within themselves.
When your family needs guidance and support, are you there for them?
Yes, I am. I am here for everybody, no matter if I am mad at you or if you have frustrated me. I will get over that quick and try to help if we can connect. That is one thing that I can say about myself: . . . I don’t stay mad at people for too long. I have been through a lot. I do wish I could help my adoptive siblings more. I have given them my cell number so that they can contact me. I have apologized to them for not being there for them as much as I would have liked. I had to figure myself out.
Where do you get your inner strength from, Chelsey, that positive energy?
It comes from inside me. I don’t think that kind of strength comes from anybody outside of me. I thank God that he has given me that wisdom, strength, and power.
Chelsey, you are an inspiration to me and, I am certain, to others as well. This discussion has been emotional for me to get through, as I hear what you have gone through. I personally can empathize with the pain of abandonment and deep transitions in your life. But what an inspiration you are. I am so sorry that you have had to go through what you have.
It’s alright. My struggles and my journey have made me who I am today. It has made me a stronger and more powerful woman. I don’t regret anything that I have been through. I don’t look at it in a bad way. I just keep on pushing forward. And I think that is what anybody should do, adopted or not, push forward. You just can’t sulk in misery or else you will be sad for the rest of your life. That’s no good.
So what are your goals? What are you looking to accomplish?
My goals in life are to continue to help others. I want them to understand that life is not as bad as it seems. Anybody can make a future.
I wanted to talk to you because I wanted to know your experience, going through foster care and being adopted into a white family. You are so incredibly honest about your experiences. I think that it is important, in stories like yours, to see where families can do better. We have to get a handle on treating everybody equally and fairly. I don’t know why, in society and in some of our families, we differentiate between how people came into the family and place value on that.
Exactly.
That is what needs to change. Yes, we need to know how people came into families and we must embrace them. What we shouldn’t do with that information is make them any less human or with less privileges than others who came into the family by birth, for instance.
That is how I feel. Social workers need to do much, much better. They need to figure out how to place kids in an environment where the kids will actually feel comfortable instead of in an environment where these kids feel like a ghost, not a part of the family, whether they place them in foster care homes or in adoptive homes. Yes, social workers should want to place a child in a stable and good home, but I also think that they need to realize, and open their eyes to whether, that potential foster or adoptive parent has been through or understands what the kids have been through. If not, then it is really not a good placement for kids. Social workers need to place these kids correctly in foster care homes and adoptive homes. The future of these kids’ lives depends on it.
In my foster care homes and adoptive home, my parents would tell me in one way or the other that they were fostering and adopting me because of a calling from God. I say if that is the only reason why you are doing it, then you are not helping me or other kids. Don’t just do this for God, but do it for yourself and the kids that you are committed to taking care of.
What would have made you feel more comfortable in your adoptive family when you lived with them?
I would say that I would have been comfortable if we as a family were exposed to African American people who were both gay and straight. They could also be Christian. I would have appreciated attending a cultural heritage camp with other black people and kids who had experiences like me, living in a white home. That all goes to what I was saying, that white parents who are adopting kids of color need to get involved in the communities where their kids come from and understand their background and history. For starters, if these parents know that they are going to get a black kid into their home, it is important for them to find out what the kids’ needs are for their hair and skin care. As I said earlier, they need to find these products and have them in the house when the kid arrives at the home. That step already will help the kid feel more comfortable. The feeling is like, “Wow—they actually have the shampoo that I need to use for my hair.” Also, when you have kids of color, it is not enough to live in white communities and spend time with all white people. What message is that sending to your child of color?
For me, Rhonda, one thing that did help me when I was living with my adoptive family was basketball. I didn’t feel so alone when I was playing that game. I could see myself when I played. I was really good at the game and that really helped my self-esteem. I knew that if I got into trouble, my adoptive parents wouldn’t allow me to go to practice or play in a game. Playing basketball helped me stay out of trouble. I would definitely recommend that other adoptive parents get their kids into a fun activity that the kids like and can be good at.
But, yes, the foster care system sucks. I dislike it still today. That is all I can say about the system here in America. It does cause more problems to the kid than it creates solutions. If the foster care system was managed right, where it looked at the best interests of the child instead of trying to make money off of these kids, I think less kids would go from foster care to prison or be left out there on the streets to fend for themselves.
From your experience in the foster system, why is it that for many foster care kids they transition so easily from the foster care system into prison?
Basically foster care is prison. They both feel the same. When I was in foster care, I felt locked up like a dog in the backyard. I felt alone. So that is basically what many foster care kids feel, alone. Some join a gang so that they can feel like they have some kind of a family. In foster care I had to do whatever the foster care system said. I just tried to follow their rules, and their rules were strict. In order to spend the night at somebody’s house, they had to be certified or I couldn’t spend the night. Foster care is prison.
That is why it is so easy to make that transition from foster care to prison, because if you are a foster care kid, you are already in the system? Is that what you are saying?
Yes, you are already in the system. Prison is just another system, but it is a system, right?
You’re right. I was in foster care until two years of age. I don’t remember a lot mentally, but emotionally just those two years has created trauma within me still today.
Being in the foster care system is traumatizing. The system acts as if kids can switch just like that—like a light switch that goes on and off—but really we can’t. Our bodies are not meant for all of that stuff, moving and moving. There is so much stress on the body and mind that it can mess somebody up for the rest of their life. I have bad memories and good memories being in the foster care system, but the system messes you up.
What makes the moving so traumatic?
You never get a connection, and you will never feel safe, because who knows when that next day will come where you’ll have to pack your bags and leave again? You never get a connection. That is how I felt. I never got a connection. And when I became an adoptee, there was some connection, but it was not all the way there. So I didn’t even know what this adoption word meant when I was nine. At any point I remember thinking that if they don’t want me, I could still go back into the system.
That is a roller coaster. One that is not fun to be on.
I never felt safe. I always had to watch my back. It was just me, alone in the world. I really didn’t have the ability to care about anybody else at that time because of my own abandonment issues. I just didn’t trust anybody. Today I am working on that. My girlfriend is really helping me with my abandonment issues and my trust issues.
What makes you smile?
Having a job makes me smile. Getting my own car makes me smile. Helping people makes me smile. I love to help people and make other people’s day. That really makes me smile. Being myself and being able to trust somebody like my girlfriend makes me smile. Being able to come this far, that I don’t have huge trust issues, still is amazing to me. Though, I still have abandonment issues because I am still scared. But the way that I look at it is, I have made it this far, I can make it further, no matter what happens. Any obstacle that comes my way will just be another lesson learned in life. It’s hard. I know it is really hard for, especially, foster and adopted kids, given what we all have gone through emotionally. To them I say, You can’t change the past. All you can do is look at the future and see how you can make your life better. You can change the future. What you are going to do in the future is you! You can’t change the past. All you can do is look back and wave and keep on walking forward.
Your wisdom and grit are amazing. Thank you, Chelsey, for spending time with me.