CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

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MY ENTIRE BODY FELT as if I’d swallowed the sun.

I was burning up.

Blazing.

Alive and awake and holy mother of God, aware. I was so damn aware of Kas and how deep he thrust two calloused fingers inside me. My back bowed. Water went sloshing. Kas’s heady growl twisted my belly with need.

He pulsed his fingers, stroking me, claiming me. “Christ, Gemma.”

I gasped as his thumb pressed down on my clit, rubbing me with lust and violence.

I jackknifed up as a streak of lightning replaced my blood, crackling directly into my core. He drove me to the edge in just a few short seconds. He knew my body better than I did. He could make me come as easily as he’d trapped me.

“Kas...”

“You feel so good,” he grunted, thrusting deeper. “So wet, just like I hoped. Fuck, if you knew how hard I was...”

I arched again as he did something twisty and hard with his touch, making my vision falter. My mind was a mess of sentences and demolished words as I became nothing but his.

His arm caused more water to wave around my chin before rocking to the bottom of the bath and spilling over the lip. He loomed over me, blotting out the sky with his long hair and savage gaze.

I’d never felt so worshiped or so wicked.

He drove up again as his thumb swirled my clit and his fingers disappeared so deep inside me his entire hand wedged between my legs.

“Are you clean yet?” he groaned. “Clean from me? Clean from what I am?” He drove his fingers harder, massaging me with no shame, no shyness. He didn’t ask what I liked or reined himself back from taking me so fiercely.

He didn’t need to.

I didn’t want him to.

My body had told him explicitly what it liked, even if my mind hadn’t known until that exact moment.

It liked his violence.

It liked his brutality.

A part of me recoiled from such furious possession. Screams of reasoning and common sense commanded I rip away his hand and snap my legs shut.

But the other part of me, the part that I only allowed out to play when I hung from a boulder—completely on my own and balanced on a handhold between life and death—let loose.

It flew free.

It embraced all my inhibitions and decided, right there and then, that I liked rough. I loved hard. I hadn’t known how to verbalize it until now. With all my other romantic partners, I’d believed that boundaries and mutual give and take was the key to an appropriate sexual relationship.

How boring was that?

How tame was that?

This was what was missing.

He was what I’d been missing.

I’d been lying to myself.

Pretending I was happy when honestly, I wanted more.

I was the girl gravity couldn’t see. The girl who made money from nothing. The girl who’d trespassed in a valley and found a beast who spoke to the wilderness that already lived within her.

I was happier in forests with rocks for company.

I embraced my senses to survive and followed in the footsteps of animals whenever I was off filming.

No one knew that.

No one knew I preferred it out there. That I was lonely in my perfect lavender house but out in the woods, I wasn’t alone.

And now, I’d found him.

And I didn’t want to hide that part of myself anymore.

I wanted to let loose.

I wanted him to know he wasn’t the only one with hungry appetites.

I spread my legs wider.

I was shameless and bold, and Kas replied to my wanton invitation with a viciousness that matched my own.

I was angry.

I hadn’t even known I was angry until I’d told him.

Joshua knew where I’d gone climbing. Ribbons would have led him to me. There were numerous clues in which a determined sibling could follow.

So where the fuck was he?

A month and no one had even come close to finding this valley. I’d been so wrapped up in my own battle with the very same man who had his fingers pulsing in my pussy to even admit that in the back of my mind, I’d been waiting.

Waiting for my PLB to work—for a fleet of helicopters to come to my rescue.

Waiting for my brother to arrive—with a battalion of soldiers to safeguard my virtue.

Waiting for my mother to...

God, I’d been waiting.

I’d been stupidly waiting and ignoring the sharp, cutting emotions I felt toward Kassen. Emotions that bypassed everything I’d felt for anyone else.

I was lost to so many others but to him, to me...I was finally found.

He shifted higher, sinking his hand deeper between my legs all while his mouth found my throat. He kissed me, bit me, licked me free of water. With each brush of his nose and nip of his teeth, I let go a little more.

I wasn’t embarrassed to writhe and moan for him.

I didn’t censor myself or worry about comments online from some jilted lover as Kas’s thumb conjured an orgasm from nowhere, causing it to arc and spark, ready to explode. He was made for sex. He’d been groomed and tortured and left to die, yet through it all, he’d survived.

He’d survived...for me.

My heart spasmed at the thought.

I’d been right. I wasn’t stupid to think the man I’d seen glimpses of was worth fighting for. He was messed up, dangerous, and highly volatile, but beneath all that was a core of goodness.

A core that spoke to my core. A core I desperately wanted to claim as mine.

“Gem...” His lips kissed all the way to my mouth. He hovered over me, breathing hard, his fingers pulsing and quaking inside me. We made eye contact for a second, and in that second, every question we could’ve asked was obsolete.

The only answer we needed was yes.

Yes, I want you.

Yes, I feel what you do.

“Fuck.” His lips crashed over mine, and we lost ourselves.

I submitted to him, and he snarled into my mouth. His tongue danced with mine, deep and unapologetic. His long hair stuck to my collarbone as the ends dangled in the water. My hands came up and locked around his neck.

He shuddered, biting my bottom lip as his thumb swirled, and his fingers dominated my entire body. He pushed me higher, higher, closer and closer to a release.

Every atom coiled with it, spindling tight, swirling and clenching and—

“Come all over my fingers, Gemma Ashford,” he growled, biting his way to my ear. His breath was loud and harsh, his voice no longer human but pure beast. “Your body likes me. You’re soaking because you want me. You fucking want me, and I can’t...I still can’t believe that’s true. You don’t look at me as if I’m your slave to command. You look at me as if I’m real. You look at me as if I’m worthy of you. And I want to be. Fuck, I want to be.”

I was done.

I came.

My orgasm rippled outward, sending wave after clenching wave all down his fingers. I jerked and gasped; I squirmed and screamed. I gave myself over to bliss. Utter, absolute bliss as my body tipped over the highest cliff and fell, fell, fell until I crashed upon his hand.

He groaned in agony as my body milked his fingers. His eyes were black and strained, his teeth grinding with need, his entire body brittle with lust.

And suddenly, one climax wasn’t nearly enough.

I’d only just let myself be free.

I didn’t want to lose this part of me so soon.

Grabbing his wrist, I yanked his fingers out of me.

His nostrils flared, and his face turned dark with fury, but that was the last I saw as I swooped up, snatched him by the T-shirt, and hauled him into the bath.

“What the—?” He splashed in behind me, fully clothed, spluttering and wiping his face free from water. The bath was big, but it still felt tight and intimate as I struggled to turn to face him.

For a few heartbeats, he let me struggle, slipping on the smooth surface of the bath, trying to twist to be close to him. He stretched out until his legs slipped on either side of me, forming a cradle for me to float in.

I wanted to spin, unbuckle his jeans, and sink down on him like I had in the library.

I wanted to finish what we’d started there. We could both come this time. Together.

But just as I got purchase and fought to face the right way, his heavy hands landed on my hips, keeping me exactly where I was. My back to his front. His nose buried in my hair and nuzzling my nape.

I shuddered as his fingers dug into my hips, bruising me and sending greedy need whizzing through my blood. His breathing was feral and gruff as he cleared his throat, struggling with the intensity lashing us together.

“I need to know one thing. Just a single thing and then there’s no going back.”

I shivered as his large hands slid away from my hips and grabbed handfuls of my ass, jerking me back into his groin. He ground his erection against me, the seam of his jeans rough in the water.

“Ask me,” I panted, tingling with desire, totally drunk on every part of him. His smell, his touch, his voice, his control.

“Is this a trick? Are you fulfilling what you told me in the conservatory?” He rocked against me, shoving me high until my breasts broke the surface of the water. “Are you giving me your body all so you can steal my heart? Because I should warn you, it’s already yours. You don’t need to play games. I’m sick of fucking games. If you want to teach me heartbreak, you’ve already succeeded in wrapping me around your finger. I already know what it feels like to want you so much I’d rather die than let you go. I’m prepared to keep you here against your will because I can’t stand the thought of you leaving me.”

He bit my ear and slid his right hand to my belly. With aching, tantalizing slowness, he dropped his touch until he once again fingered my pussy. Shallow this time, he dipped in just to his knuckle, ensuring I was well and truly entranced and seduced in every sense.

“I want you, Gemma. I think I’ve wanted you my whole fucking life, but I’m aware that I’m not good for you. I’m not worthy of you. And if I know that, then you must surely agree.” His voice caught, thickening to a savage growl. “So tell me now and put me out of my misery. Tell me that this is all a trick to make me love you because I won’t survive if I believe you might actually—”

“Want you?” I groaned as his finger slid deeper into me.

“Yes,” he breathed, nipping my ear, his broken arm moving upward until his hand cupped my breast and squeezed. His right hand stayed between my legs, rubbing my sensitive clit, keeping me completely at his mercy.

“It’s not a trick, Kas.” I cried out as he pinched my nipple.

“Don’t lie to me.”

“I’m not.” I went taut beneath him as he massaged my breast painfully. “I’m not playing games. I’m not trying to hurt you. I truly want you inside me.”

“Jesus Christ.” His hands vanished from my body, fumbling against my lower back as he ripped his zipper down and unbuttoned his sodden jeans.

He choked with lust as he shoved them down as far as he could and wrapped an arm around my waist to pull me up his body. “I’m sorry.” He moaned as if he still believed he wasn’t worthy of touching me, as if he was infectious and dirty and so many awful things.

And then, he speared up.

His cock slipped between my legs and sank deep inside me. In one thrust, he impaled himself to the hilt, and I flopped backward, boneless and taken, splayed out over his chest with my hands locking around the lips of the bath.

I had no words. No thoughts. I was just sensation. Stretched and claimed and wide open for his pleasure.

He groaned low and deep as he rocked up and his hands went back to their chosen locations, one on my breast and the other between my legs, right where we were joined.

He didn’t speak as he thrust up again, hitting parts of me he hadn’t hit before.

I shuddered with desire, already climbing the mountain to come again.

No one fit me like he did.

No one made me comfortable enough to tip my head back and moan at the moon.

No one understood what I needed as he increased his pace, stabbing into me with quick, vicious thrusts, making water splash and sizzle in the fire, his hands grabbing, rubbing, fisting every inch of my exposed skin.

“God, Kas.” I cried out as he pinched my clit, sending me spiraling.

His teeth sank into my neck as he fucked me hard and fast. His breath puffed hot on my damp flesh, his scruff got tangled in my hair as we writhed together.

We gave up all concepts of being people and just let nature guide us.

We took and gave. We rode and rocked.

Up, up, up.

Gasping, groaning, thrusting, fucking.

We climbed fast and high together.

We gasped and grunted and when I didn’t think I could take another moment, he wrapped his arms around me in a bear hug from behind as his hips shot up and his cock unloaded inside me.

“Holy...fucking...hell.” He jerked and spurted, losing himself to his release but still too well trained by his past to let me go unsatisfied.

Even as his body purged into me, delivering streams of his desire, his fingers found my clit and electrified me.

His touch was enough.

A single press and rub.

And I followed him, clenching his cock, milking the final dregs of his orgasm, ensuring we both couldn’t breathe as we went tight with the last waves of pleasure before collapsing together into the remaining shallow water.