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For the next two days, I scoured the streets with the binoculars, searching for the car while my ankle healed. The good news was that it felt much better, and the swelling had gone down completely. The bad news was that the battery life was dwindling on my phone—only a quarter of the power was left. I hadn’t played any music in days, and both our iPods had died. My mom and I decided to talk every three days instead of every other day, and I hoped that we would find the car before I called her again. I was up on the roof with the binoculars when the door opened and Ollie walked through, holding two glasses of whiskey.
“Any luck?” he asked.
“Well, there are two possibilities. There’s a blue SUV over there, two blocks from Lori’s building, and another right there.” I pointed to the other side of the park. “I can’t see that one very well, only the front end, but that could be it. Or it could be a sedan and not an SUV. It seems more likely she’d park it here than the other street. There’s a police station on that street, and most of the parking is for them. I’m hoping it’s the first one. That street is on an incline, and the car is at the top of the street. With the flooding we had, that car has a better chance of not being damaged. I think we’re just gonna have to go check them out.”
“I don’t think your ankle will be up for it if we go tomorrow.”
“It feels much better today,” I replied.
The weather had been nicer and was slowly getting warmer. I was able to keep warm with just a thick chunky sweater over my knee-length dress.
Ollie came close to me, pulled the binoculars from my hand, and quickly kissed me. “I hope you don’t mind—I called my mom just now and told her about the car. She was excited, to say the least. She wants us both out of here.”
“Does she know about us?” I asked.
“No, my mom has a habit of running away with these types of things. I don’t want to tell her until I know what this is.” He paused. “Do we know what this is?”
I searched his face for an answer, but I didn’t see one. I chose to be brave. “Well, for me, this is amazing. I feel lucky to have met you, even under these circumstances. I don’t know where it’s going, especially with everything else that’s going on, but I’d like it to go somewhere. What about you?”
He leaned over and kissed me.
“Is that your answer?”
“No.” He laughed. “Well, maybe it is. I feel the same way. I guess I haven’t wanted to think about that part of it. This came out of nowhere for both of us. And maybe if we make it out of here, these feelings will go away. But I don’t think they will.”
“I don’t think they will either,” I said immediately. I didn’t need to think about it. My heart was hammering in my chest, and it felt like I might explode with emotional excitement.
“But it’s scary, you know?” he continued.
“I know. I remember after 9/11, I saw this article about how people felt compelled to connect with others, especially in a romantic way. That’s been in the back of my mind. But even if that’s what this is, I don’t think it’s a bad thing.”
“I don’t either. I guess all we can do is ride it out and see what happens. Just promise me you’ll be honest about how you’re feeling. Even if you think it’ll hurt.”
“Okay. Same goes for you,” I said.
“How I’m feeling right now is I want to ravish you on this rooftop.”
My face grew warm, and my body tingled. I let him lead me into the best use of my roof so far, which said a lot—I’d had some pretty awesome parties up there. He closed the gap between us and pushed me against the slope of the half wall surrounding the roof. Looking into my eyes, he kissed me and lowered his hand to pull up my dress and touch me through my underwear. I gasped and hugged him closer. I wrapped one leg around his waist, and I felt his hardness against me. He was kissing and licking every inch of me, and I encouraged him. I heard him unzip his pants and felt him slide inside me. The feeling was instant and overwhelming. Our rhythm gradually built until we climaxed together.
As I came down from my high, I kissed his neck and face, running my hands up his shirt and along his back. He tightened his arms around me and breathed deeply. I sensed a solid and consuming heaviness in him that I couldn’t place. He clutched me tightly and breathed into my neck in an odd way. I didn’t know how to respond. I pulled my head back and looked him in the eyes, trying to get a read on him. He put his forehead on mine and just stared at me.
“Are you all right?” I asked, worried.
“Yeah.”
My eyebrows drew together. What is he hiding?
He kissed me deeply. I felt his emotions pouring into me—the air was suddenly thicker, embracing us like a cocoon. We remained that way until our heartbeats slowed to normal. Back downstairs, I made us a dinner of spaghetti and makeshift brownies from the extra flour and cocoa I’d found in Lori’s apartment. I was feeling giddy from our romp on the roof and didn’t want to talk about anything serious. An hour later, I was changing after taking a sponge bath when Ollie walked into the bedroom with a tight look on his face.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, pulling my shirt over my head.
“Nothing’s wrong. I just...” He paused and looked away. Then his eyes flicked back to mine. “I think I should go alone to check the cars.”
“What? Why?”
“It’s too dangerous. I can’t put you in that danger. And your ankle isn’t fully healed yet.” I could tell he’d been thinking about it for a while.
“My ankle is fine. I worked out on it this morning. You aren’t putting me in any danger.” I started to get annoyed. “I’m putting myself in that situation.”
“Karis, it’s safer if you stay here. The other day with those men chasing us really scared me. What if they’d caught you? What if they’d hurt you?” His voice was slowly getting louder and more forceful.
“What about you? It’s also safer if you stay here and let me go alone. I know the area better. And the car!”
“I can figure it out. Please, Karis, think about this. It’s better if I go alone.” His face turned red as he pled with me.
“Ollie, I’m not going to sit here worrying whether you’re dead or alive. I’m going.”
“We can’t take that risk. We need to be smart about this. Just stay home!” The vehemence in his voice shocked me.
“You can’t tell me what to do!” I replied, my heart pounding and my hands shaking in frustration.
He stopped, clearly having seen the logic in my statement. He looked at me with narrowed eyes, but I wouldn’t back down. I could see his wheels turning, desperately searching for an argument to counter mine until he gave up and walked out.
I was shaken by our fight. But while I thought about our exchange, I got angrier as I argued my point silently in my head. How dare he! I’ve worked so hard to get to this place. I’ve survived all these months on my own. I finally felt confident in myself, and I wasn’t going to let anyone take that away from me.
Over the next hour, we kept our distance, and I hoped he would come around, but I didn’t see that happening. I was afraid he would sleep at Kirk’s apartment, but he didn’t. As I slid into bed, he walked in, looked at me, climbed in, and turned his back to me. I felt a wall of tension between us.
By morning, my anger had dwindled, and I was able to see that he’d been trying to do something good. I’d immediately assumed that he was trying to control me, but I knew that wasn’t it—he was simply trying to protect me. I just needed to convince him that he didn’t have to, that I could take care of myself.
I was in the kitchen when he came up behind me and placed his hands on my shoulders and his lips on the back of my head. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I know it’s your decision. I’m just scared. The thought of something happening to you is killing me.”
My body relaxed, and I felt the tension between us melt away. “I’m sorry too. I know you were coming from a good place.” I turned so we were face-to-face. “But, Ollie, I can take care of myself.” I paused and took a deep breath. “Something else happened with the girls that I haven’t told you about.”
“What?” he asked.
“It’s hard to talk about. And I’m worried about what you might think.”
He looked at me for a second, waiting for me to continue. “So tell me now,” he finally said.
My gaze veered to the side and out the window while I tried to find my words. A dog barked in the distance. “Two men broke into the girls’ building. They tried mine first, but I had nailed boards over my door. They didn’t get in, but I watched them get into another building across the way. I heard them attack someone, and when they walked out, they had blood on their hands and arms. They went for the girls’ building next.” I hesitated and looked back at him.
He’d knitted his eyebrows together and set his mouth in a tight line.
“You can cross over from my roof to theirs, and that’s what I did. I went over there to protect them. I couldn’t let them hurt those girls. I had my crowbar, and I hit one of them in the kneecap. I injured him pretty badly. The other one chased me. He pulled the crowbar out of my hands, and then I didn’t have any weapons. But I poured some oil on the ground behind me to slow him down. He slipped when he was running after me...” I swallowed a few times, trying to get the words out. “He fell onto a broken rod that was sticking up in the stair railing. It killed him instantly, I think. Or I hope. I don’t know.”
“Oh my god! Did he hurt you?”
“We fought, he choked me, and I got a few bruises. But he died,” I said, trying to convince him of the difference.
He looked at me oddly but didn’t say anything.
“The other guy got really mad when he saw what he thought I did to his friend. Even though his knee was hurt, he chased me onto the roof. I ran over to the grocery store on the other side and jumped two flights down onto that roof.”
“Karis, you could have killed yourself!”
“But I didn’t. It was a risk I had to take. I was running on instinct, and I had to lead him away from the girls.” I paused, waiting for an argument, but none came. “He ran after me, but he didn’t know there was a gap between the buildings. He jumped off, but he didn’t make it. He fell to the ground and died too.” I watched Ollie’s face, looking for signs of disappointment or repulsion. But all I saw was compassion, and I didn’t know how to feel about that. I’d been unconsciously beating myself up for weeks.
He put his hands on my shoulders and looked me in the eyes. “You did what you had to do. You saved the girls. You can’t feel bad about that.”
“But, Ollie, those two men died because they were chasing me!”
“Right. Because they were chasing you. They chose to do that, and they paid for it. You did nothing wrong, Karis. You saved those girls.” He lifted a finger and wiped away a tear I didn’t know was there.
“But the girls died anyway,” I said, letting myself cry freely.
“Yes, with dignity and with you by their side, not by the hands of some depraved men. They died with compassion and love. You did that for them.”
His words were starting to sink in, and my tears slowed. I nodded in agreement. “I know you’re right. I’m just having a hard time with it, I guess.”
“I’m glad you told me.”
I wiped away my tears and smiled at him. “Me too. Anyway, the point of my story is that I know I’m small, but I’m strong, and I’m fast. Don’t underestimate me.” I stared at him, unwilling to back down.
His brow furrowed. “Is that what I was doing?” He paused to think about it. “Maybe I was. I didn’t mean to, I just... want to protect you.”
“I know. But you can’t, not always. I’ve been taking care of myself for a long time now, and I’ve survived this whole quarantine, just like you.”
He took a long breath and pulled me into his arms. “You’re right. I’m sorry. You’ll come, we’ll find the car, and we’ll be fine. Both of us.”
We stood like that for a few minutes, happy to be back in each other’s arms again. I inhaled his scent and pulled him closer, trying to reassure him of my own strength. We made a plan to check the car by the police station first since it was slightly closer.
We waited until the sun went down, realizing that going out in the dark was a better idea no matter how much scarier it was. I leaned against the bathroom wall and propped my foot up on the toilet. I wrapped my ankle just in case. It felt pretty good, but we could easily run into those guys again. As I had that thought, fear raced up my spine, and my heartbeat fluttered. Still braced against the bathroom wall, I let my head fall back and took a few deep breaths. We had to do it. I had to do it—it was our only hope, and I wanted to be a part of it.
At seven o’clock, we dressed all in black and made our way downstairs with a small flashlight. We were both scared because of our last foray outside, but I looked at him and gathered courage.
Ollie slowly opened the door. We waited, straining to hear any signs of life. It was dead quiet. He looked back at me and jerked his head in the direction of outside, and I nodded back. He grabbed my hand, and we darted outside. We stopped at the corner and hid under the deli’s awning, looking around to make sure no one was lying in wait. After a few seconds, we made our dash again and ran down the first block, scampering into the doorways of buildings intermittently to check our surroundings and make sure no one had seen us. We continued that way down to the next cross street then turned right onto the street where the first car was.
We were only a few cars away when the sound of glass breaking in the distance pierced the silence. Ollie grabbed my hand and pulled me into a narrow alleyway between two apartment buildings. We stared at each other and listened. Eventually we heard voices—two men and a woman, it seemed, not the men from before. That was a relief, but they were screaming profanities and coughing, which also wasn’t good. They were clearly sick with the virus and coming closer to us.
I looked around to find some way to hide until they passed as I pulled my jacket up over my nose and mouth. Near the ground on the wall was a small opening for a vent to the underground garage. I looked at Ollie. He grabbed a large black trash bag that was dangling from the fence surrounding the building. I pointed to the opening to indicate that I was going to crawl in there. He nodded and pulled the bag around him and then crouched down under it on the ground. He looked like a bag of trash. I forced my body into the space, hunched over with my head on my knees. All those hours spent in the cramped hall window were paying off. I just hoped they couldn’t see me.
I looked through the vent slats that led to the garage. It was dark, so I couldn’t see much, but the moonlight was illuminating shapes all around. My eyes located a familiar silhouette on the ground next to a car. It looked like a person lying down, possibly hiding too. Oh no, can they see me? I watched for a few seconds, but the person wasn’t moving at all. As my eyes adjusted to the dark interior, I began to understand what I was seeing, and I sucked in a gasp. Bloody wetness reflected the moonlight in dark shiny patches all over the face and arms, and I knew it was a decomposing body lying face up on the floor of the garage. Parts of the face looked like ground beef as if it’d been ripped away. I caught movement out of the corner of my eye—a rat was scurrying toward the body. Oh god. The rat reached the body and started eating its face, picking up where some other animal had left off or quite possibly finishing what it had started. I felt my stomach turn and forced myself to look away so I didn’t throw up.
The voices were getting louder. I peeked to the side to try to get a glimpse. I could only see a sliver of the sidewalk, but I saw their legs as they walked by the alleyway. I held my breath as they passed right by us. I remained in the opening until their voices faded away. In my peripheral vision, I saw Ollie pull himself up and out of the bag. He reached down and grabbed my hand. I unfurled my body from the space and let out a long breath. Peeking around the wall of the alleyway, we could still see them far in the opposite direction of where we were headed. When the coast was clear, we dashed out of the alleyway and over to the car. I pressed the unlock button on the key fob a few times, but nothing happened. I looked at the bumper and saw that it was a Honda HR-V.
“This isn’t it,” I whispered.
We started running in the direction of the other car. I was mentally crossing my fingers that the other car was the one. I really didn’t want to make the trek again. When we found the car, I pressed the key fob button again, and lights blinked on the door handles as they clicked into the unlocked position. We looked at each other, triumphant smiles plastered on our faces. We climbed in, and Ollie leaned over, touched my cheek with his fingers, and kissed me long and hard. If it hadn’t been so dangerous, I would’ve been having a lot of fun just then. I put the key in and turned it. The engine coughed but didn’t turn over all the way. Either months of sitting there uselessly had taken their toll on the battery or the flood had damaged the engine. I turned it a few more times, pressing the gas pedal to the floor. Finally, the engine turned over and sputtered to life. The gas gauge moved over to show that we had almost a full tank of gas. I drove the car with the lights off slowly and carefully back to my block. We parked right in front of my building and rushed in. Unless someone was monitoring the cars along my block, we were good.
After dinner, Zeke snuggled between Ollie and me on the couch, pushing his head into my hand and baring his belly for Ollie to scratch. He was getting audacious with his demands, assuming his requests for affection would always be granted. He wasn’t wrong though. He looked up at me with heavy-lidded eyes and a pleased grin. Ollie and I were exhausted from the stress of finding the car and decided to wait until the next day to start planning our trip. While we turned in, I kept thinking about our escape. My last thought was a reassuring one. This might work, and we’ll make it to the border because there is no way I’ve waited all this time to find my partner just to die. I mean, fate somehow delivered a single, attractive, good man literally to my doorstep. No matter what the circumstance, I had to salute that.