CHAPTER 4

JESSE’S HEART POUNDED AS HE AND TOBIAS STEPPED INTO the Smucker family’s kitchen.

“Can you possibly explain why you two were racing in a storm?” Marvin demanded. “Didn’t you two learn about the dangers of racing when you were sixteen and you both wound up in the emergency room? I would think your broken arm would have taught you a lesson back then, Jesse.”

Driving rain pelted the kitchen windows, filling the heavy silence as Marvin speared Jesse and Tobias with harsh and furious eyes. In his early fifties, Marvin Smucker stood just under six feet and had graying dark hair and a matching beard. While his two children had inherited his dark hair, they had received their mother’s dark eyes instead of Marvin’s bright hazel.

“Well?” Marvin stood just inches from Jesse and Tobias. “I’m still waiting for an answer.” His voice was loud as his cheeks flushed pink with anger. “You scared Rosanna and me and also Jesse’s parents when you two raced in a storm all those years ago. Were you trying to scare us again? Or did you just forget how to act like adults?”

Jesse looked across the kitchen to where Ariana stood at the sink holding a pot suspended in the air. She glanced at him. She’d changed into a blue dress, and her hair was covered with a matching blue scarf. When their eyes met, her lips pressed together and a frown clouded her pretty face. Her dark eyes moved to Tobias and remained focused on him. Jesse suddenly had the distinct feeling Ariana was avoiding his gaze. Why would she ignore him? Did she really share her father’s belief that he had been acting like a sixteen-year-old?

Jesse folded his arms over his chest and shivered as droplets of water dripped down his face and onto his already drenched shirt. Although he’d dried off with a towel Todd had loaned him during the short drive to Marvin’s farm, Jesse had gotten soaked once again when they struggled to unload the buggy and stow it in the barn.

Beside him, Tobias leveled a hard gaze at his father, and a muscle in his jaw twitched as he cradled his right arm in his left. Jesse took in the injuries he hadn’t noticed as they were working to move the buggy in the rain. Purple-and-blue bruises stained Tobias’s right cheek, and a thin cut sliced from his temple to the bridge of his nose.

“Tobias!” Rosanna rushed over to them as she entered the room. She stifled a sob after she touched his cheek. “Ach! You’re hurt.”

“I’m fine,” Tobias grumbled, not taking his glare off his father.

“Ariana!” Rosanna called, examining Tobias’s arm. “Get the salve and a couple of towels.”

Ariana scurried out of the kitchen.

“You still haven’t answered my questions,” Marvin boomed. “Why were you racing? What were you thinking?” He shook a finger millimeters from Tobias’s nose. “What do you have to say for yourself, Tobias John?”

“Nothing,” Tobias snapped, then winced as his mother moved his arm.

“Nothing?” Marvin’s bushy eyebrows shot up toward his receding hairline. “Why don’t you have anything to say for yourself?”

“Because I don’t have to say anything,” Tobias seethed. “You’ll say it for me.”

Jesse gaped, staring at Tobias with wonder. Jesse had never dreamt of speaking to his father in such a disrespectful tone. He braced himself, awaiting Marvin’s explosion.

Marvin’s chubby face flushed bright crimson, and his jaw worked, but no words passed his lips.

Ariana reappeared with two towels and a container of homemade salve. She handed one towel and the salve to her mother. While Tobias dried himself with his left hand, Rosanna began to spread salve over his wounds, causing Tobias to squeeze his eyes shut and hiss in protest.

“Stop squirming,” Rosanna said. “This cut looks bad, and we don’t want it to get infected. It’s awfully close to your eye.”

With her eyes focused on the second towel, Ariana stepped over to Jesse and handed it to him.

“Danki.” He hugged the towel to his middle. He studied her face, hoping she’d look up at him, but she kept her eyes focused on his hands. “Arie?” he whispered. “Are you all right?”

Ignoring him, she quickly crossed to the sink, and, with her back to him, began washing dishes. Her coldness stung deep into his soul. He stared at her back, waiting for a sign, any sign, that their relationship was still okay, but she kept working at the sink as if she were alone in the kitchen.

“Tobias,” Marvin’s voice bellowed. “I’m still waiting on an explanation for your behavior. Do you realize how much worse your accident could have been?”

Tobias responded with a sarcastic snicker. “You should see the buggy.”

Jesse blinked as he looked at his best friend. Does he want to start an argument?

“What do you mean?” Marvin looked over at Ariana and then back at Tobias. “Your schweschder said you could get the buggy home.”

“Ya, on a flatbed.” Tobias moved the towel over his soggy trousers. “The windshield is smashed. The roof and frame are twisted too. It’s pretty far gone, right, Jesse? It’s almost as bad as that accident we had when we were sixteen.”

Jesse nodded with a frown. He longed to sneak out and head to his own house, but he couldn’t leave without assurance that he and Ariana were okay, that their relationship was still intact.

Marvin shook his head. “I’m so tired of your irresponsible behavior. I’m also tired of your attitude.”

“Well, Dat, that’s one thing we have in common.” Tobias lifted his chin. “I’m tired of your attitude toward me. I’m tired of your constant criticism and your lectures. And I’m tired of you trying to force me to be someone I’m not.” He handed the towel to his mother and started toward the stairs. “I’m going to take a shower.”

“Get back here!” Marvin started after him. “I’m not done with you.”

Tobias spun toward his father, his eyes glittering in the low light. “I’m done with you. I have nothing else to say to you.” His voice faltered, and he cleared his throat.

Jesse scanned the kitchen, taking in Rosanna’s frown and glistening eyes. At the sink, Ariana’s shoulders slumped as she sagged against the sink. The tension was palpable, and Jesse’s chest tightened. Jesse and his brothers rarely argued with their father or with each other. If only Jesse could help Tobias and his father work out their differences. But how could he help fix this broken relationship when it seemed nearly beyond repair? Besides, this was a private family matter.

“You may be tired of it, but I’m determined to make a gut man out of you,” Marvin continued. “How do you expect to get married and raise a family if you can’t take care of yourself? You need to learn how to take responsibility for your actions. Racing buggies in the rain won’t earn my praise. It’s time you started acting like a man instead of an overgrown kind.”

Tobias’s expression hardened. “I’m going to live my life the way I want to, and I don’t need your permission.”

“Is that so?” Marvin folded his arms over his rotund middle. “As long as you live in mei haus, you will follow my rules and ask for my permission.”

“You’ve made that abundantly clear. Maybe it’s time that changed.”

Marvin stood nose to nose with his son, the two men the same height. “I don’t see you moving out anytime soon since you don’t have any means to live on your own.”

“Please stop arguing,” Rosanna cut in, her voice sounding thick. “I’ve heard enough!”

Marvin spun to face her, and Tobias jogged up the stairs.

Jesse finished drying himself, folded the towel, and set it on a kitchen chair. He turned toward Rosanna as she wiped two stray tears from her chin.

“Danki for the towel,” he told her before looking at Marvin, who was leaning against another kitchen chair. “The buggy is in the barn. You might be able to salvage some of it.”

“I’m going to go check on Tobias,” Rosanna muttered as she picked up the wet towel and headed up the stairs.

Jesse pulled Todd’s business card from his pocket and placed it on the table. “That’s the name of the tow truck driver who brought it home. He can take it to the carriage shop if you’d like.” He started toward the door and then turned toward the sink, hoping Ariana would look at him.

“Wait.” Marvin walked over to him. “I want a word with you too.”

Jesse swallowed and cut his eyes back to Ariana. Look at me, Arie. Give me a sign that you still love me. When she didn’t turn around, he focused on Marvin. “All right.”

“I’m shocked you would take such a dangerous risk, racing with mei dochder in your buggy.” His expression was grim. “I expected more from you. I thought you’d learned your lesson after the dangerous pranks you and Tobias pulled as teenagers.”

“Wait.” Jesse held his hands up. “I wasn’t—”

“It’s apparent to me that you haven’t learned anything. You’re still the same reckless young man who helped Tobias set the back pasture on fire when you decided to have a bonfire in the middle of the summer during a drought.”

Jesse took a deep, shuddering breath as fury flowed through his veins. “That was a long time ago.”

“Ya, it was a long time ago, but your behavior today has shown me you haven’t changed. I’ve lost all trust in you, and I want you to stay away from mei dochder. You’re not a gut influence for her.”

Jesse stilled as Marvin’s words filtered through his mind, and out of the corner of his eye, he saw Ariana freeze too.

“What . . . what are you saying?” Jesse asked Marvin slowly.

“What I’m saying is that I can’t allow Ariana to marry or even date a man who can’t be trusted to keep her safe.”

“You’re breaking my engagement to Ariana?” Jesse’s body went cold with a mixture of frustration, shock, and grief.

“Ya, that’s right.”

The floor seemed to fall out beneath Jesse, and the world spun. I can’t lose her. “But we-we’ve set the date,” he stammered. “We have plans, and I’ve already built her a haus.” He turned toward Ariana, hoping she’d defend Jesse and their future plans.

Ariana looked at Jesse, then Marvin, her brown eyes wide. “Dat?” Her voice trembled, and her eyes misted over. “You’re forbidding me from marrying Jesse?”

Marvin nodded. “That’s right. He’s not gut for you. He’s shown his true colors, and I need to keep you away from him. It’s for the best. You’ll thank me someday.”

Tears streamed down Ariana’s face. “I don’t think that’s your decision.”

“Ya, it is.” Marvin’s voice rose, and Ariana cringed. “I’m your dat, and it’s my job to decide what’s best for you.” He turned toward Jesse again. “I think it would be best if you left now.”

“Please listen to me,” Jesse began, holding his hands up again. “I’m sorry for giving you the wrong impression. I was only trying to—”

“You need to leave.” Marvin pointed toward the door. “We’ve had enough stress in this haus tonight.”

Jesse’s body shook and his heart squeezed with anguish as he looked at Ariana. He craved her reassurance. Tell me you love me.

Ariana’s chest heaved as tears poured down her face. She met his eyes but remained silent.

“Jesse.” Marvin’s voice began with a hint of warning. “Leave now.”

Jesse looked at Ariana one last time and started out.

Ariana swallowed a sob as Jesse disappeared into the mudroom. When the back door slammed shut, her body trembled and fear gripped her. Her future was crumbling right before her eyes. She couldn’t lose him! She was upset with him, but she had to believe there was still a chance they could work things out.

She wasn’t ready to give up on him yet. They could work through their problems, if only he would confess he’d been drinking—though she wasn’t convinced now that he’d actually been as drunk as Tobias no doubt had been. And if he promised never to drink again and explained why he hadn’t slowed down when she pleaded for him to . . .

“Jesse!” Ariana screamed, rushing toward the door.

“Ariana! Get back here,” Dat snapped, following her.

Ariana hurried through the mudroom and pushed open the back door. Her shoes skidded on the porch floor as she slid toward the railing. A cool mist of rain drifted over her as she leaned on the railing.

“Jesse! Wait!” she screamed as he neared the barn. “Please don’t go!”

Jesse spun to face her, his handsome face twisted in a scowl. Her heart squeezed, and tears pricked her eyes.

“Arie, you have to believe I would never do anything to deliberately put you in danger. I was only trying to stop Tobias from racing.” He glanced behind her and then took a step back. “I better go. Your dat told me to leave.”

“Stay!” she begged him. “We’ll talk to him and work this out.”

“There’s nothing to work out,” Dat growled behind her. “Go back in the haus now.”

She looked over her shoulder at her father’s glare. “But Dat, we’re engaged, and I—”

“You don’t know what’s gut for you.” Dat pointed toward the house. “Please go inside now.”

Ariana longed to stand up to her father, but she knew better than to go against him. With her shoulders sagging, she turned toward Jesse one last time before rushing into the house with tears spilling down her cheeks. If only she could go back in time and convince Tobias and Jesse not to drink.

Sniffing, she wiped away her tears and returned to the sink. Mamm appeared beside her and began drying the dishes in the rack.

“I tried to encourage Tobias to come down and eat something,” Mamm said. “He refused. If only Tobias and your dat could see just how much alike they are. They’re both so very stubborn. Their relationship would be so much easier if they could have a civil and calm conversation. They both need to learn to keep their tempers in check.”

Ariana nodded while keeping her eyes trained on the frothy water.

Mamm stopped drying the dish in her hand and leaned toward her. “Was iss letz?”

Ariana raised her eyes to Mamm as a knot of despair swelled in her throat. “Dat said I can’t see Jesse anymore. The wedding is canceled. He says Jesse isn’t gut for me because he was reckless today.” She cleared her throat. “I’m upset with Jesse, but I didn’t want to break things off.” More tears spilled down her hot cheeks.

“Ach, mei liewe.” Mamm pulled her into her arms for a hug. “Everything will be fine. I’ll talk to your dat.” She stepped back and touched Ariana’s shoulder. “Don’t worry about anything.” She nodded toward the stairs. “I’ll finish the dishes. Why don’t you try to get Tobias to agree to eat something? He seems to listen to you better than anyone else in this haus. I’ll talk to your dat. Don’t give up hope.”

Ariana agreed and headed upstairs. She found her brother lying on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. She lingered in the doorway for a moment, waiting for him to acknowledge her. When he didn’t, she stepped inside the room and stood at the foot of his bed. “Don’t you want something to eat?”

He lowered his eyes to her and blinked. “No, danki.”

“You should eat something. Lunch was hours ago. I’ll bring a plate up to you if you’d like.”

“Danki, but I’ve lost my appetite after arguing with Dat.” Tobias sat up and sighed, resting his elbows on his thighs. “I’ve had it. I can’t take it anymore. I think it’s time for me to leave.”

“Leave?” Ariana’s eyes widened and her stomach twisted. “Where will you go?”

“I haven’t figured that out yet.” He stood, crossed the room, and took a black duffel bag from his closet. “Nothing is ever going to change around here, so I need to find somewhere else to live.” He set the opened bag on his bed and began pulling clothes out of his dresser drawers and tossing them in.

“Things could change if you and Dat both compromised,” she hedged, hoping Tobias wouldn’t get upset with her.

“What do you mean?” He stopped packing and studied her.

“What if you tried just a little harder to please Dat?” She fingered the wooden post of his footboard. “He gets frustrated when you don’t finish your chores on time or when you wander off into the back pasture when you’re supposed to be cleaning the dairy barn. If you just did as Dat asked, then he wouldn’t get so upset.” She held her breath and silently prayed he’d consider her suggestions.

Tobias paused, and then his frown deepened. “It won’t work. All Dat and I do is fight, so it’s better if I leave.”

“Don’t say that. Mamm and Dat love you. We’re a family and we belong together.”

Tobias shook his head as he continued to fill his bag.

An image of the vodka bottle filled Ariana’s mind. Jesse and Tobias had been behind Mariella’s barn together. She had to know the whole truth before it drove her crazy. She took a deep breath. “You’ve been drinking.”

“What?” His eyes flickered with something that looked like worry, and then his frown returned. “Why would you think that?”

She looked over her shoulder toward the doorway and then leaned in closer to Tobias. “I found an empty bottle of vodka in the back of Jesse’s buggy,” she whispered.

Avoiding her eyes, he returned to packing. “Look, I’m fine. I’m not drunk. I’m just tired of dealing with Dat.”

“Please stop packing.” Alarm coursed through her. She grabbed his arm, holding it still. “You can’t go. You have to stay. You’re mei bruder. I need you here. Mamm and Dat need you too.” She released his arm and sank down onto the bed.

“It’s not that simple for me.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re the dochder. You’re engaged, and your life is planned for you. I’m expected to take over the farm someday when Mamm and Dat move into a daadihaus. I don’t want to be a dairy farmer, but Dat won’t listen. He doesn’t understand that this is his dream, not mine. How can I live here the rest of my life with Dat always chastising me? It will never work.”

“You and Dat can work things out if you swallow your pride and talk to him. You’re both stubborn and set in your ways, but you can compromise if you really try to talk to him without losing your temper. Swallow your pride and listen to Dat without immediately jumping to conclusions.” She folded her hands together, pleading with him. “Please think about it. Work things out with him for Mamm and me.”

“You’ve had to listen to Dat and me argue nearly your whole life, and Mamm has had to listen to us too.” His eyes misted over. “If I leave, things will be easier on both of you.” He turned toward the dresser for the remainder of his belongings.

She sniffed. “I’ve already lost Jesse. I can’t lose you too.”

“What do you mean?” He turned toward her.

“Dat told Jesse to stay away from me. Our wedding is off.” She swiped at her eyes. “He said Jesse was too reckless today, and he can’t trust him with me.”

Moving the bag, Tobias sank down onto the bed beside her. “That’s my fault. If I hadn’t wrecked the buggy this never would have happened.” He sighed. “Things will get better for you. Dat will forgive Jesse.”

“You think so?”

“Definitely. Jesse has his life together. He and his dat run a successful business. Just give Dat time to calm down, and your wedding will go on as planned.”

“I hope you’re right.”

“You know I am. You and Jesse are meant to be together.”

“Just like you’re meant to be here. If we do get married, I want you to be here to witness it.” Ariana’s lip trembled as she looked up at him. “Promise me you won’t make any decisions until tomorrow. Just sleep on it tonight and then decide in the morning.”

He nodded. “Fine.”

“Danki.” She stood and crossed the room. Stopping in the doorway, she looked at him again. “I can still get you a plate.”

“I’m not hungry, but danki.”

As Ariana made her way downstairs, she whispered an urgent prayer asking God to help Tobias and Dat—and Jesse too—work out their problems. The three most important men in her life needed help she couldn’t give them on her own.