A weight pressed against Kai’s chest, and panic crawled with him out the depths of sleep. He worried his lungs had worsened and this was the day he would wake up unable to breathe. His heart raced, his throat constricted, he jerked his eyes open and froze, inhaling a trembling vibration of air.
Rasia laid sprawled on top of him, naked.
He collapsed back as the adrenaline and panic receded. It wasn’t a dream. The soft crush of Rasia’s breasts and the soreness from muscles rarely used was plenty evidence it wasn’t. They hadn’t managed to get into a bedroll, and the cave floor was cold and harsh under his skin. But Rasia’s hair provided plenty cover for them both, and her heat kept him warm even when their fire had gone out overnight. Kai ruminated over yesterday’s events while he watched her sleep. After their wild windship ride, they returned to the gorge and feasted and celebrated and drank too much alcohol. He was embarrassed about that. He didn’t think he’d get drunk off of one drink. His head was still pounding.
He cast his eyes over Rasia’s curved bum to the tangle of her legs in his. He flashed back to all the moans and gasps and breathless pants that had composed the unforgettable songs their bodies danced to all night long. They had so much sex.
Rocks scuffled outside the cave. Kai frowned, confused. At first, he attributed the sound to one of the mountain goats. A voice soon popped his bubble.
“KAI!”
For one terrifying moment, Kai thought it was his jih. Then he registered the fact it was a male voice. Zephyr. A strong wave of relief surged through Kai’s body.
Another consideration hit him. What if Rasia didn’t want to be caught with him like this? It was one thing to fuck him. It was another thing for people to know.
Kai’s panic returned with full force.
“Rasia,” he whispered. “Wake up.”
She turned over and her arm whacked him in the face. “Ysai-jiii, it’s your turn for breakfast.”
“Kai? You in here?” Zephyr’s voice came closer now, at the mouth of the cave, his voice ringing and echoing loudly off the rocks.
Rasia jolted awake. She reached over Kai to search the cave floor. “Fuck, where are my swords?” Kai squeaked. “That’s not my sword.”
“Rasia?” Zephyr came rushing into the cave. “Where is—”
Zephyr didn’t seem the type to be surprised by anything, but surprise smacked him in the face as he took in the scene. The cave had aired out overnight, so it didn’t smell as thickly of sex as before, but there were empty gourds of palm wine and discarded clothes tossed around in a whirlwind. There was no mistaking the scene for what it was.
Kai’s heart raced, thudding so hard it threatened to explode right out of his chest. Zephyr’s invasion felt like an end to something. His abrupt presence shattered the dream Kai had been living for the past few days. Now it was time to wake up.
“Oh, it’s you,” Rasia said, breaking the tension before diving back under her hair. She curled into Kai’s side. No shits or cares given.
“Kai.” Zephyr said his name like a stranger’s. “We need to talk.”
Zephyr’s tone cut Rasia the wrong way. Kai felt it when her body coiled against his. She popped up from her hair and hissed dangerously, “He doesn’t need to do anything.”
“I didn’t ask you,” Zephyr said. He set his feet and made it clear he wasn’t going anywhere until Kai complied.
“Leave,” Rasia snarled in turn. “Why are you here? He left your kull and joined mine. He doesn’t want to be with you.”
“It doesn’t matter what he wants. I made a promise to Nico. Kai doesn’t have a choice.”
Rasia sprung. Kai moved to catch her, but she slipped right through his arms.
Rasia charged at Zephyr, and there were some important facts to note:
1. Rasia was naked.
2. Her swords had been too far away for her to grab.
3. Rasia fought using speed and momentum to her advantage. She came at Zephyr at an angle, charging low to hit his knees to throw him off balance.
4. Zephyr didn’t budge.
Zephyr scooped Rasia up by the shoulder, lifted her into the air, and slammed her with unrepentant force to the ground. Rasia landed on her right side, and the pain that twisted her face seared Kai’s eyes.
Kai reached for one of the empty wine gourds.
Rasia lifted her legs to lock them around Zephyr’s neck and bit down viciously into the arm that had her pinned. Zephyr slipped the other arm free of her leg and rolled forward, where they tumbled and wrestled out of locks and holds on the ground. Zephyr couldn’t restrain her, but Rasia couldn’t get a solid blow on him either.
Kai slammed the gourd atop Zephyr’s head. It didn’t knock Zephyr out, but he did pause in shock. Rasia used the interruption to slam her feet in Zephyr’s face, kicking against it as leverage to create some distance between them. Zephyr pressed against the cave wall to wipe at the dirt from Rasia’s feet.
“Stop, I’ll talk,” Kai said, forming a barrier of skin and bones between them.
Zephyr lifted his arm where Rasia had bitten him. “She’s a rutting animal.”
“Mutt,” Rasia spat.
“Rabid skink.”
“Stop!”
Zephyr crossed his arms, then said pointedly, “I’ll wait outside.”
Kai shook with fury long after Zephyr had left the cave. Rasia grunted behind him, dropping atop a piece of pottery she had overturned to use as a chair. She lifted her breasts with one hand and inspected the injury at her waist.
Kai remembered himself, and so did his body. When he moved, his muscles blazed with soreness, bones creaking with belated ache. Kai pushed himself to help, even though all he wanted was to sleep off last night’s activities. He rekindled the fire to help give Rasia light. He picked up her gourd of water, handed it to her, and crouched down to inspect the injury himself.
The fire lit yellow green over a bruised rib. On top of that, rocks had cut open an ugly gash. It was going to need stitches. They had been so careful last night so as not to worsen the wound, and now this.
Above him, Rasia swished the water around her mouth and spat a wad of blood to the ground. “You’re not talking to him alone.”
“It’s better that I do.”
“There’s nothing stopping him from throwing you over his shoulder and running off with you. And look at this,” Rasia said with a disgusted snarl, gesturing at her waist. “I might not be able to chase him down.”
She did have a point. Kai left Rasia to stew while he grabbed some herbs and medical supplies from the kull stash. He returned and dropped most of the supplies at her feet along with one of the gourds of unfinished palm wine. Ample liquid still swished at the bottom. Rasia grabbed the wine and took a swig. Kai crouched in front of the fire to heat the tip of a porcupine belly quill.
“What we should do,” Rasia said darkly, “is burn down whatever ship he sailed in on. Can’t take you anywhere after that.”
Sounded good to Kai. He nodded. “Let’s do that.”
Rasia squinted at him, surprised by his outright approval. Her rictus grin spread to reveal the blood red of her teeth. “Fuck yes.”
Kai threaded the bundle of skinko sinew around the quill. He glanced at her, and Rasia nodded with a grunt. She upturned the wine and hissed as it washed over the wound. Kai weaved the stitches into her skin.
Before yesterday, Kai would have hesitated to touch her, but now he tended to Rasia without thought, and his hand lingered on her hip with too much ease.
“I grabbed all the herbs I could get my hands on. Which ones do you need?” Kai asked. Rasia pointed out the herbs that numbed the pain and reduced inflammation. Under her instruction, Kai ground the herbs and gently applied them over the stitches. Rasia realigned the broken rib carefully, afraid one wrong move could puncture a lung. Kai wrapped fresh bandages around her waist while she lifted her breasts, annoyed, so he could make each pass around.
Rasia didn’t have anything to replace the former wrap Kai had cut her out of yesterday. She’d brought extra food, an extra pair of pants, and even gonom to the Forging, but she hadn’t brought an extra wrap. After witnessing how her breasts flopped around in her fight against Zephyr, Kai understood her insecurities a little better now. Kai certainly wouldn’t want his junk flopping around in the middle of a fight, either.
Kai sat back on his haunches once he finished, and he had an idea. He retrieved his shroud, the same one Rasia had snatched off twice now, from his belongings. It’s a good thing he had brought two. He crouched in front of her with the strip of cloth.
“Arms up,” he instructed.
She raised an inquiring brow and reached up, slow and hesitant to release the weight of her breasts. The once pale orbs had turned a crisp brown after only a few drums in yesterday’s sun. Kai reached out to wrap his shroud around her breasts, to her back, and around again. He tied the ends into a tight bow. To secure it, Kai pinned the shroud with one of the bronze hooks from the kull stash the way he’d seen Nico do.
Rasia straightened her posture and stared at him intently, then drew forward and kissed him—hot and full of force. “Next time you take off my wrap, you don’t go to sleep until you put it back on.”
“Understood.”
Rasia pushed to her feet and moved over to the tub of water they had drawn from the springs. Rasia scooped a calabash through the water and tossed it over her face. She wiped between her legs and at the residue Kai had left behind.
Kai moved to do much the same. He didn’t know if he was sticky from the alcohol, sweat, or the cum; he didn’t remember exactly how they’d passed out last night.
“What are we going to do about the hunt this morning?” Kai asked, considering her injury.
“We’re still doing it,” Rasia said, determined. “We don’t have a choice now. We ate all the food.”
“There are still some leftovers.”
“Eat it for breakfast. We’re going on this hunt,” Rasia said, brooking no argument. Kai worried how this hunt was going to go but held his reservations. If Rasia said she could do it, then she could do it.
They bathed and dressed, and while they usually sat across from each other to eat their meals, Kai found himself surprised when Rasia dropped down next to him with her plate of food. She folded her knee against his leg and reminded Kai of another important topic he needed to address.
“What do you want to tell Zephyr about us?”
“What do you mean?”
“He obviously knows we had sex, but I can ask him not to tell anyone, especially if you don’t want anyone to know . . . though he’ll probably tell Nico.”
“I don’t give a shit what people think, Kai. And Nico can choke on her shroud.” Rasia leaned forward and pressed a hand to his thigh. “The real question is: Do you think he’s going to squeal to the Council about us? In that case, more than one thing needs to burn today.”
Kai scoffed. “No. He’s not going to risk my Forging. He and Nico are too close. He’s not going to say a thing.”
“Hmm . . .” Rasia sat back. “How does a tent kid even know your jih? I know Kenji-shi is friends with the foreigner, but what does that have to do with Nico?”
“The other tahs were friends. They struck up a friendship during their Forging. After”—Kai motioned to his face—“tah stopped associating with Zara . . .” Kai stumbled over her address. The Grankull revoked all Zara’s earned names when they banished her. She didn’t have any name but her First. Kai personally wasn’t close enough to use -shi, but it was extremely disrespectful to address an adult by only their First Name. He felt uncomfortable disrespecting the person who had often supported his family. “There is fate between the families. Nico has been going in and out of the Tents for years.”
“Huh, didn’t catch that one,” Rasia said. She leaned back with the information as she chewed, tossing thoughts around in her head.
Kai scraped the bottom of his plate and looked down, surprised. He had cleared it so quickly, and he was still hungry, which shocked him because he had eaten quite a bit last night, too. Rasia handed him her plate, which was about two-thirds empty.
“Rasia, I can’t.”
“I’m good. I don’t like feeling heavy before a hunt.”
She dropped the plate atop his empty one. With heavy reluctance, he ate the rest and even still, afterward, he felt hungry. He never thought sex would be the secret to building an appetite.
After he finished, Kai offered to help Rasia to her feet. She waved a dismissive hand. He watched her take a deep breath then pick herself up. She straightened, visibly sucking in the agony, then walked toward the mouth of the cave without a limp or hint of pain. Kai followed her.
They paused at the sight before them. A sandstorm had blown through. Everything, including the windship, lay half-buried. The rocks Kai had spent so painstakingly long trying to clear had disappeared under the sand. He thought he saw a few of their tips peeking out. It was a surprise the cave entrance hadn’t been blocked in.
“I don’t remember a sandstorm last night,” Kai mumbled, confused.
“I do,” Rasia said cheekily. She burst her hands open, imitating an explosion, and Kai blushed at the implication. She slapped Kai on the butt and winked before disappearing down a path that led around the gorge.
Just great—he did magic when he orgasmed. How utterly useless that was.
At least, from what he remembered of last night, the follow-ups were not as painful as that first time. Why had it felt so excruciating? Kai had no idea.
Kai shook his head and looked to where Zephyr sat atop an outcropping, watching the cave entrance and the whole exchange. Kai climbed the sandy hill that hadn’t existed before yesterday and stood before Zephyr.
“What do you want to talk about?”
“You know exactly what this is about,” Zephyr said, skipping right over all the small talk and greetings. “You know what’s at stake. If Nico doesn’t succeed her Forging, there won’t be anyone on the Council fighting for the Tents. That’s my family at risk, Kai. You’re out here, literally fucking around, when lives are at stake. You had your fun, but this thing with Rasia has to end.”
A thick oil of guilt flooded Kai’s conscience. He crossed his arms and turned away, toward the mouth of the gorge and all he’d ever hoped for. “I told Nico to let me go.”
“She can’t. You know she can’t.”
Kai knew, and yet he had fled anyway. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to ignore the fact that he’d been having the time of his life while jih was juggling her responsibility to the Grankull and her responsibility to him and the family. He’d been trying not to think about it. Was he the selfish one? His chest hurt. He could feel his resolve crumbling.
“I admit,” Zephyr said, “you are the one person on the other side of Nico’s life I wanted to meet the most. People hate us both for no reason other than the circumstances of our births. We have so much in common, and I want you a friend.”
“We have nothing in common,” Kai bit out. That could not have been more obvious at the oasis. Zephyr had stood his ground while Kai cowered. Zephyr demanded attention while Kai never received it. Zephyr was built like a fucking mountain, and Kai was the pebble Zephyr could easily crush underfoot. “Leave, Zephyr. Find Nico and convince her to let me go.”
“Let you go where, Kai? Running off with Rasia and chasing her dragon is courting Death. You’re steering yourself off a cliff. Do you really think Nico is going to let you go alone? You’re her rock. You are the one she leans on. After Avalai Ohan died, you are the one who pulled Nico through the wreck of it.”
“Because I’m the one who wrecked it in the first place!” Kai snapped. “It’s my fault tah is dead. Was I supposed to stand by and watch it all fall apart because of me? Yes, I pulled Nico out of bed. I brushed her hair. I pushed her out the door. I took care of Rae when they cried and screamed and yelled for a tah they couldn’t understand was gone. This family doesn’t need me. I’m the one who broke it, and it would be better off if I had fucking drowned at the bottom of the oasis!”
Kai’s chest heaved. He turned and buried his face in his hands and pushed against the tears. He didn’t get to cry over it. He didn’t get to mourn the tah he killed.
Zephyr sat with a stillness—like those large rocks of the gorge, tall and imposing and in the way. Zephyr said slowly, “Kenji-shi is either out hunting or at the bottom of a bottle. You are the one at home every day. You are more tah than jih. Nico needs you. Rae needs you.”
“Shut up,” Kai snapped. He hated Zephyr. He hated that this stranger knew all the intimate details of his life. It felt worse than Rasia snatching his shroud off in the market. It was unsettling, like a distant relative who knew your entire life while you’d never heard of them at all.
And now he couldn’t get Rae out of his head. He couldn’t stop thinking of Rae rushing through the hallways; turning the corner; looking, searching, and never finding. It crushed Kai’s bones to think of Rae searching for him, to know no one would sing Rae to sleep or make sure they ate all their food.
Kai had almost torn his family apart all over again. He stared at that gorge opening, the same one he’d been reaching toward for days now, and clenched his fists in determination. “This is different. It’s not the same. Rasia and I are going to slay a dragon.”
“Are you listening to yourself? You and Rasia are only two people. It’s not possible, and you’ve bought into her crazy scheme because you have a flame for her.”
“You know nothing about her.”
“It’s been five days, Kai. You know nothing about her. In the Tents, they call her Rasia the Undefeated. She has a face in the Tents. She has a name. Think about that. After Shamaijen Windbreaker died, she brawled, undefeated, in tent matches for blinks. She’s dangerous. And I get it, I know how utterly consuming a flame can be. It blinds you. It makes you do stupid and illogical things.”
“Grief also makes you do stupid and illogical things,” Kai said, remembering all the ways Rasia’s voice softened when she spoke of her tah. The ways Rasia told stories of him and traced his footsteps on the windship. Kai shrugged. “Most people have blood on their hands.”
He did. What did it matter if Rasia had killed a few people?
“It’s not the blood I’m worried about. It’s her temper. What if you get on the wrong side of that? What if you piss her off? You’ve got scars enough, Kai.”
Kai grasped the subtext of Zephyr’s words, and fog thickened in his ears. Kai seethed, his fury returning and completely burning all his guilt to ash. “What has Nico told you?”
Zephyr stared, implacable, and didn’t answer.
“That wasn’t Nico’s story to tell,” Kai snarled, furious at jih for the first time in his life.
“Nico thinks it was the one time. You’ve got a lot of scars, Kai.”
“Fuck you,” Kai snapped, immediately wrapping his arms over his chest. He had clothes on now, but it was too late. “Fuck you. You think you know everything about my life, but you don’t. You don’t know shit.”
“I’m sorry,” Zephyr said, standing. “I didn’t mean to overstep.”
Zephyr reached to grab him, and all the emotions bubbling, boiling, basting inside of Kai exploded. Kai wrenched his dagger from his belt and the tip bled blood from the jewel of Zephyr’s throat, daring Zephyr to test him.
Zephyr was too close to grab for his monstrous sword. He was completely at Kai’s mercy and had no choice but to listen. And it scared Kai that Zephyr was looking at him as if he were volatile and dangerous, as if Kai had become a different person than that kid at the oasis . . . and maybe he had. It had only been five days, but time has happened all so fast and yet seemed to stretch on forever a vibration. He had gone from knowing Rasia only from jih’s secondhand stories to knowing her as this unrelenting force of nature that had swept Kai into her grasp. Perhaps Kai had needed to be tossed, disrupted from the inside out, to finally understand what ground he stood on.
“No. I am staying with Rasia. No argument will shift my mind, and I will die before you physically lodge me from this spot. Return to your Forging and leave me to mine.”
Now more than ever, Zephyr felt like a mountain: set in his ways and unable to change. Which was why Kai was so shocked when Zephyr shook the ground with a single word. “Fine.”
“Fine?”
“I won’t force you to leave. But I’ll hang around for a bit. To make sure you’re okay.”
Kai withdrew his dagger and stabbed it back into his belt. They stared at each other. Kai studied Zephyr, suspicious of his motivations. “You do know that everyone has a flame for Nico, right? You’re not special. This isn’t going to change anything. You’re wasting your Forging on her.”
Zephyr crossed his arms, and they bulged the tighter he held them. “Your jih isn’t interested in any flames, and I can respect that. I am here because your jih is my best friend, and I give a shit about you. Sorry if that’s so hard for you to believe.”
It was hard to believe.
“You don’t know me.”
“I hope to.”
Maybe. Maybe he and Zephyr could become friends. Maybe he’d finally understand why Nico always came back from the Tents with all these new ideas and a righteous sense of justice. Like Rasia, Zephyr had been another character in Nico’s tales. Kai had always suspected that Zephyr wasn’t the hero that jih thought he was. No one could be that perfect.
“One condition,” Kai said. “Don’t you touch Rasia again.”
“I don’t make empty promises, Kai. Rasia goes for the kill. She’s not the type of person you blunt your sword for.”
“You broke her ribs,” Kai snapped. An exaggeration, but Kai was too angry for nuance.
Zephyr searched Kai’s face and picked his words carefully. “I didn’t mean to. I’ll be more mindful of my strength.”
It was true that no one in their right mind fought Rasia without all they had to give. She hadn’t attended school for long, but it was long enough to kick everyone’s asses before walking away. She was infamous for storming the training fields and challenging anyone to a spar. Rasia was dangerous even when she was naked and unarmed. Kai knew that, and he also knew this was probably as good a promise he was going to get out of Zephyr. Kai pulled at his neck and admitted, “Rasia is going to burn your windship.”
“What windship?”
Kai frowned. He walked to the edge of the sand hill and peered over to the other side.
At the bottom, Rasia glared balefully, miffed, at a camel. The camel glared balefully, miffed, back.
“You came here on a camel?” Kai asked.
“Why do you think it took me five days to find you?”
“Nico hasn’t, and she has a windship.”
“Yeah,” Zephyr conceded. “I’m worried about that too.”