CHAPTER 23

It was strange to check my e-mail and not find a daily message from Nick. Not to find any silly jokes or cartoons forwarded to me. Not to call Nick before I went to bed. To not have him call me in the morning. To dust shelves at H & G’s and not pick up little things to send Nick. No postcards, no wish-you-were-heres. There was just this empty place in my life.

How could I miss him more now than I had before? Although I wasn’t really certain that I was missing Nick. It was more like an absence in my life, an absence of habits, expected things. And I found myself wondering, had I ever really loved Nick, or had I just loved the idea of being in love? Of having someone to go places with, someone to e-mail, someone to text message, someone to instant message, someone to call.

It had been two days. Shouldn’t I be back on track by now?

Parker had walked me to the dorm after my shift. He’d pretty much carried on a one-sided conversation, telling me funny stories about different people who’d ridden the roller coaster that afternoon while he’d worked. I’d smiled but it had been an automatic reflex, trying not to be a downer.

He asked me if I wanted to catch a midnight movie somewhere. I’d said no.

Did I want to go get something to eat?

No.

Hang out at his place?

No.

He’d walked away from me with his head bent and his hands shoved into the front pockets of his jeans. And I’d wanted to cry because I’d said no only because I wanted to say yes so badly.

I was racked with guilt. Guilt because I did want to be with him, maybe I’d always wanted to be with him, and now I was feeling guilty because I’d hurt Nick. It didn’t make any sense.

I went to my room. Jordan wasn’t back yet, so I just turned out the light and lay on my bed in the dark, forcing myself not to e-mail Nick. Maybe I could e-mail him as a friend.

There was a knock on the door. I ignored it. It came again. I got up, turned on the light, and opened the door.

“Rescue party!” Zoe cried.

She was standing there with Jordan, Lisa, Alisha, and a couple of other girls who lived down the hall. They were all wearing bathing suits.

“What?” I said.

“Rescue party,” Zoe repeated. “Heard you broke up with your boyfriend, luv. And you’re moping around. Can’t have that. Get your bathing suit on. We’re going to the pool.”

“The pool closed at ten.”

“Only to the unimportant. Come on now, nothing like a late-night dip with friends to get you right back on track.”

It was crazy. Everyone filed into the room and I had this horrible fear that they were going to watch me dress.

“Come on, Megan,” Jordan said, as she pulled out a drawer of my dresser and scrounged around. She tossed me my bathing suit. “It’ll be fun.”

“You’re all insane,” I said, laughing.

But still I went into the bathroom and changed. I could hear the others giggling and talking on the other side of the door.

When I stepped back into the room, they were waiting for me. And was I ever glad. Wasn’t doing things with people one of the reasons I hadn’t gone back home with Nick? So it was totally stupid to be moping around about it.

“Let’s go!” Zoe commanded.

We hustled out of my room and headed toward the pool. It was the pool at the hotel. We had the right to use it, although I’d always thought only during certain hours. But it sorta made sense that they would let us use it when it was closed to the tourists.

“Whose idea was this?” I asked once we were outside.

Jordan turned around and started walking backward. “Mine, of course. Can’t have a sad roomie. I was starting to suffer from second-hand break-up. You know? Like second-hand smoke?”

“I got it,” I said, laughing. I should have known it was Jordan’s idea.

As we got nearer to the pool, I could see other people hanging around within the fenced area.

“We’re not alone,” Lisa said.

“Not to worry. Employee e-mail is a wondrous thing,” Zoe said. “I just put the word out that we were all in need of some spirit lifting.”

Zoe opened the gate and we all filed into the blue-and-white-tiled pool area. Ice chests were lined up against one side.

“Brilliant!” Zoe exclaimed. “Who brought the drinks?”

A few guys admitted they’d brought them.

“How much do we owe you?” she asked.

“We raided the concession stands,” one confessed. “So let’s keep that little fact to ourselves.”

“We’ve got chips over here,” Lisa said. “This is great.”

And it was great. To be here with so many—

“Oh!”

I found myself being lifted into someone’s arms. I threw my arms around his neck. Parker. I should have known. He was grinning, but he had a mischievous gleam in his eyes.

“You know you’ve been a wet blanket lately,” he said.

I narrowed my eyes at him. “You wouldn’t dare.”

“Never dare me, Megan.”

He yelled and leaped for the pool. I screamed. We hit the water. Went under. Came up sputtering.

“You idiot!” I cried. I put my hands on top of his head and pushed him under.

He grabbed my legs, lifted me up, and tossed me back.

I don’t know how long we wrestled until we were both laughing so hard that we were in danger of drowning.

“Feeling better, Megan?” Jordan asked from her crouched position by the pool.

I flung my hair out of my eyes.

Parker tickled my bare stomach. “Answer her.”

I splashed water at him and moved out of his way. I was feeling better, so much better. I looked at him. “You know what would make me feel really better?”

He gave me a wicked grin and nodded. “Yep.”

It was incredible, but I knew that he did know what I was thinking.

At the same time, we both lunged for Jordan. She screamed as we grabbed her arms and pulled her into the pool.

She came up sputtering. “No fair!”

“All is fair in love and war,” Parker said.

“This isn’t war, so does that mean it’s love?” she asked.

I know it sounds strange, but it was like Parker suddenly got very still, very quiet.

I don’t know if he was trying to come up with a witty comeback, or what it might have been. At that moment, Ross yelled “Cannonball!” and jumped into the pool, causing a tidal wave. That seemed to be the catalyst for the party to really get underway.

More people jumped into the pool. Someone turned on music. We were far enough from the hotel that I didn’t think it would disturb any of the guests, the wise people who were sleeping so they’d be rested for going to the park tomorrow.

I was standing in water up to my shoulders. Parker was watching me, studying me.

“I’m fine,” I finally said.

“Good. Want something to drink?”

I shook my head. “Think I’m just going to relax here for a while. I can’t believe how warm the water is.”

After a while I swam across the pool, got out, and slid into the Jacuzzi. The water there was really hot, bubbling around me. I scooted over until I was sitting by Jordan, who was sitting by Ross.

She leaned over to me. “It was really Parker’s idea. The party here.”

“As Zoe would say, ‘brilliant.’”

“Don’t tell him I told you,” she said, her voice low.

“Why does he want it to be a secret?”

“He worries that you’re vulnerable. That you might think he’s trying to take advantage of what you’re going through right now.” She shrugged. “Or maybe he’s scared.”

“Of what?”

“Of liking you and you not liking him.”

“Did he tell you that?”

“Are you kidding? No way. But I see the way he looks at you. The way he’s looked at you from the beginning. If you’re not interested, just tell me, and I’ll tell him. It won’t be so hard coming from me.”

“I don’t know if I’m interested or not,” I told her truthfully. “I just had one failed long-distance relationship.”

“It’s two months before we get to that part.”

Yeah, but I’d had three months with Nick before ours went long-distance. We didn’t even survive a month being apart. How could I build a strong enough relationship in two months to weather the long-distance part that would come? I didn’t think I could.

So would it be better not to try?