When Seb woke on Thursday morning, Rocco was still sleeping. The run the night before had really tired him out. He wasn’t a puppy anymore, but at the age of eight, Seb hoped he had a few more years in him yet. Rocco had lived with his parents for a while, and when Seb moved into this place, he’d made sure to bring him home.
He stepped out to the kitchen where Natalia was sitting eating cereal.
“Hi, babe. How did last night go? I didn’t hear you come in.”
“It was good. Rocco certainly enjoyed the run in the sea. We got in around ten thirty. You were fast asleep.” Seb poured himself some coffee and leaned against the counter. He certainly felt more relaxed after last night.
“Ugh, I’ve been so exhausted with the studio and the rehearsals. How soon can Dom start?”
Seb looked closely at his friend, noticing the telltale dark circles under her eyes. “He could start as soon as you want, I think. He’s spending a lot of time there now anyway, being my ever-faithful bodyguard.” Seb rolled his eyes at this. Dom hadn’t left him alone, even though he had problems of his own to deal with.
Natalia giggled. “He’s like a little annoying Jack Russell. He’d nip at any stalker’s heels, frightening them away.”
“If only it were that easy,” he said, resting his head on her shoulder. This whole thing was starting to wreak havoc on his nerves.
“Is he meeting you there today?” she asked, rinsing her bowl in the sink.
“I said I’d meet him at the studio around noon, but I’ve got an early finish this afternoon. I’ve cancelled Joe’s lesson this evening.”
“Why? I thought they were going well.” Natalia looked at him with a puzzled look on her face.
“They were—are, even—but I can’t face him tonight. I’m not sure I can do this anymore with him. The solo lessons, I mean. If I have to meet with him when Clare is there, then I’ll do that, but when it’s just him and me”—Seb moved to the sofa and sat—“I want to kiss him, Nat. I want to touch him. Dom would say I want to bite his arse, and I actually do.” He groaned loudly.
“I didn’t realise you felt that way about him, Seb. I know I haven’t been around as much lately, but if I’d known it was this bad, I’d—”
“You’d what, Nat? I only have myself to blame. I’m falling, fuck, I have fallen, for a guy who gets married in five weeks. We’ve spent so much time together with the solo lessons, and then there have been times when we’ve been alone outside of the studio. Last night just drove it home to me that I was getting in too deep with him. We had such a good time and had such an amazing connection. He makes me feel like I matter, like I’m enough, would be enough.” He sighed, feeling the hopelessness at the realisation that it didn’t matter how he felt, how Joe made him feel. He would never be anything to him other than a friend.
“I didn’t mean to snap, Nat. I’m just so cross with myself for getting too involved.” Seb slumped on the sofa, his hands in his lap.
Natalia sat next to him and took his hands in hers. She brushed his hair from his face and looked into his eyes.
“Now you listen and look at me.” Her voice was firm, brooking no argument. “You will always be enough for the right person. We know Daniel wasn’t, or else he would have stayed. I don’t know what to say to you to make this right, but you have to realise Daniel was never your fault. Never, do you hear me?”
Seb nodded.
“Maybe Dom can take over the lessons, and you should get away, just for a while. Listen to the police’s advice. So much has happened over the past few months; you need a break.”
“I’m not running away, Nat. I said I wouldn’t do that. As for the lessons, I’m going to see it through and make the dance the best first dance ever.” He looked away from Natalia, not wishing to see the look in her eyes.
As Rocco walked into the room, it gave him the excuse to avoid her gaze. “Come on, buddy, let’s get your breakfast.” He stood and moved into the kitchen to fill the dog bowls.
“I’m going to take a shower, then go for coffee with Hayden. I’ll take Rocco with me today,” he called out to her.
“OK, let me know if I can do anything. You’ll get through this, Seb, I know you will.”
“I will, thanks.” He felt he was being really shitty with her, but he knew she was only trying to help.
By the time he arrived at The Coffee Mill, it was getting on for eleven, so he had an hour to kill before he was meeting Dom.
“Hi, Seb. How are you doing, mate? The usual?” Hayden asked as soon as Seb walked through the door.
“Yes, please. That’d be great. I’m here to meet Dom but I’m a bit early.” Rocco followed behind him.
“Sure, take a seat, and I’ll bring it over. How are things going with the stalker? I’m always around if you ever need my big brawny muscles.” Hayden flexed his biceps. He could certainly hold his own.
“I think I’ll take my chances.” Seb teased.
Hayden laughed. “Yeah, you’d probably be better off with Dom. He’s small but feisty.”
“Did someone mention my name?” They both turned to the door to see Dom standing there. “You’re early, Seb. I thought we said noon?”
“We did, but I came for coffee. Why are you early?”
Dom blushed. “I came early to get some coffee and cake too before meeting up with you but it seems like you beat me to it.”
Seb was suspicious of his reason for being here early. Dom never arrived early.
“Anyway, how was your date last night?” he asked with a smirk on his face.
Hayden took the chair opposite Seb.
“A date, you say? Who was the lucky guy?”
“It wasn’t a date, Dom, and you know it,” Seb said indignantly.
“Then what would you call it? Tell us what happened, and we’ll decide whether it was a date or not.” Dom turned to Hayden. “He was out with Joe.”
Hayden’s eyebrows rose. “How interesting? Please enlighten us.” They both smiled knowingly at Seb.
Seb related the events of the previous night. The drive to the beach, playing with Rocco, the walk along the seafront and the chips and finally, the journey home.
When he’d finished with it all, Hayden and Dom looked at each other meaningfully. “Definitely a date.”
Seb rolled his eyes. “So not a date.”
“OK, answer me this then. If Joe, Mr McHotty Pants, was single and had asked you to go to the beach with him and sit on the front and eat fish and chips with him, would you have called it a date?”
Hayden sat nodding, looking between Seb and Dom. “It was a date.”
“It wasn’t a fucking date, and there’s not likely to be another. I’m done with it. You were right, Dom. I can’t put my heart on the line. I’ll only get hurt when the inevitable happens. Let’s just go away, the three of us, like we said yesterday.
“Joe will be happily married, Stalker Guy will have given up, and we’ll be in some far-flung country where there’s lots of sun, sex and more sex.”
“I can get on board with that,” said Hayden. “When do we leave?”
“We’ll give it four weeks. By then, I won’t be teaching Joe and Clare anymore and the kids will have finished for the summer. That gives you a month to find someone to cover the coffee shop for you. Think you can do it?”
“Definitely. What do you say, Dom?”
Dom looked sheepish. “Well, I could probably do it, but I’m not making any promises.”
“What the hell, Dom? You were up for it yesterday. What changed?” Seb asked, looking annoyed.
“Nothing, nothing. I just might have something else coming up. That’s all.” He looked away, refusing to meet Seb’s eyes.
“Anyway, what are you going to do about Joe?” Dom asked.
“Absolutely nothing. What is there to be done? I just know that I’m done.”
“Done with what?” asked a familiar voice from the door.
Three heads turned to find Joe standing in the doorway.
“Hi, I thought I might find you here. Saw your car outside, but the studio was locked. Can we talk, Seb?”
Dom picked up Rocco’s lead. “I’ll take him next door. See you in a while.” He patted Seb on the shoulder as he left.
Hayden stood up too. “I’ve got muffins to bake. Can I get you a coffee, Joe?”
“I’m good, thanks. I just need to speak to Seb for a moment, then I need to get back to work.”
Seb looked at Joe, his eyes questioning. “What are you doing here?”
“It might be me, but I thought things ended a bit weird last night. I wasn’t sure you’d answer the phone if I rang, so I did the next best thing and came to see you. I hope that was OK. You seemed upset, and I didn’t know if I’d done or said something to you.”
Seb was torn between telling him to go or waiting to see what he had to say.
“I’m fine, Joe, honestly. It was nothing you said or did.” On the contrary, everything he said and did had an effect on Seb. “I really did have a great time last night. Just tired, as I said. I have a lot going on at the moment.” Seb hesitated. Should he really say what was on his mind? Probably not. The less Joe knew about Seb’s current predicament, the better. He wasn’t sure he could continue to hide his attraction.
Joe looked relieved at his comment. “Thank God. I thought I’d done something to upset you. You were so quiet on the way home.” Joe’s leg bounced as if he were nervous about something. “Look, Clare’s away this weekend, and I’m at a loose end. I wondered if you wanted me to take a look at your taxes before everything gets crazy, like we discussed the other week.”
That was the last thing Seb was expecting, and he found himself not knowing what to say for a moment. “Erm, if you want to. I know we have ages yet before they need to be submitted, but if that’s what you want to do, we can.” Seb thought that this might actually be for the best. He didn’t really want to be around Joe and Clare after they got married. Doing this now would save him having to see Joe again when he was trying to put the man out of his mind.
“Wonderful. How about we get together on Saturday? What time do you finish here? I can give you my address, and you can come over. Bring Rocco if you want; he can have a run around in the garden. I could cook.” Joe looked hopeful, and Seb realised he’d been nervous about asking him.
“I finish at around one this week. I could be at yours at around two, maybe? No need to cook, though, but I’ll bring Rocco if you want.”
Joe smiled and, after giving Seb his address, stood to leave. He hesitated before walking out of the door. “Thanks, Seb. Try and get some rest, and I’ll see you on Saturday.”
Seb looked around as Hayden dropped into the chair beside him. “Another date then?”
“Fuck off, Hayden,” Seb said, laughing as he said it. What the hell was he doing?