‘I don’t understand my own daughter!’ Susannah’s voice shook. She slapped the letter down on the newspaper spread out in front of Jock on the table. He was reading about the outbreak of anthrax in Cheshire and feeling sorry for the farmers, so she took him by surprise. He looked down at the letter and his heart felt as if it was tying itself up in a knot when he recognised Hannah’s writing. His fingers trembled as he made to pick up the letter but Susannah snatched it away before he could read it.
Jock felt furious with her and himself. ‘What are yer playing at?’ He missed his eldest daughter more than he could say, and couldn’t bear the sight of his eldest son. They left the house together but no longer did he walk to work with him or talk to him if he could help it. He’d have had him out of the house if it hadn’t been for the need to explain to his wife.
He glanced up at Susannah. Her expression was strained and she held herself stiffly. ‘You can read it after you tell me what’s going on. I’ve been to Granny Popo’s house, but all she’d tell me was that Hannah felt ill and so she dosed her with castor oil. She hasn’t seen her since. I went down to the bakery and had words with Mr Bannister, but he’s as annoyed as I am for her going off without a word. You and that woman are to blame!’ Susannah’s small, dark eyes glinted like black beads. ‘Hanny couldn’t bear the atmosphere in this house anymore, that’s why she was sick and got out.’
‘You read the other letter. She needed to get away, so she’s staying with friends.’ A muscle tightened in Jock’s jaw. ‘It didn’t mention anything about me and Nora.’
‘Don’t mention that woman in this house,’ she yelled, thumping her fist on the table. ‘I was ill and you betrayed me! If it hadn’t been for Hanny and Bert, God only knows what would have happened to me. I’ve always known you never loved me—’
Jock shot to his feet. ‘Don’t start that all over again! If I hadn’t gone out to work everrr-y morning, even though I didn’t feel like it… you wouldn’t have had a bed to lie in… no food in your stomach, no fire in the grate!’
‘I don’t care about that! Perhaps you should have let me die! What kind of husband is it who goes to another woman and leaves a sick wife and children alone in the house at night?’ she asked scornfully.
Jock groaned. ‘I told you I didn’t mean for it to happen. It was weeks before I – we – she was lonely, I was lonely. I didn’t intend ta-’ He stopped. ‘What’s the use of going over it all again? I only wish that Hanny hadn’t got to know. Bert must have told her. That so-called perfect son of yours.’
Her head, which had been bowed, reared up like a snake about to strike. ‘Don’t blame this on Bert. You’ve always been jealous of the affection between us.’
‘Rubbish! And let’s drop his name before I get really angry. Let me see that letter.’ He reached out for it, but she scrunched it up and sat on it.
He was astonished. ‘Don’t be so bloody childish – she’s my daughter.’ He pulled his wife to her feet and picked up the screwed up letter before releasing her. He opened the sheet of paper and brought it close up to his face. After a minute he said, ‘At least we know she’s safe.’ He handed it back to her.
‘And that makes everything all right? She tells me not to get the police and that Mal Moran’s probably dead, killed in an accident. As if I cared about Mal Moran when I’m worried sick about her! It’s not good enough her writing there’s nothing for me to worry about. I am worried! A day doesn’t go by without me thinking about her being in trouble and not coming to me for help. It’s a married man she’s living with, I bet.’
Jock was astonished. ‘It wasn’t our Bert who suggested a married man, was it? Because if it was, I wouldn’t believe him.’
Susannah’s eyes darted venom. ‘There you go again! What are you accusing him of? He’d never cause trouble for his sister.’ Her voice broke and, for a moment, she could not speak. Then she cleared her throat. ‘It was something someone said to him. He said he told them that it wasn’t true.’
Jock stiffened. ‘What wasn’t true?’
‘You tell me.’ She took out the handkerchief Joy had made and embroidered for her for Christmas, and wiped her eyes. ‘You know the truth, I can tell. So out with it or I’ll go round to the next street and smash all that bitch’s windows.’
Jock was furious with his son. The crafty sod! Bert was taking a big risk, thinking that he would continue to stay silent about his part in Hannah’s trouble. But he didn’t have time now to break it to his wife, even if he could have found the right words. ‘I’ve got to go to work.’ He got to his feet and went for his overcoat.
Susannah got to the front door before him and put her back to it, bristling like a fighting cock. ‘Tell me the truth, Jock, or I’ll go to our Joan’s and never come back. I’ll leave the children with you and you can see how your fancy piece likes that.’
He growled, ‘Ye’d never leave the children. And I’ll tell ye now, if yer stopped going to yer cousin’s every weekend, I’d have a good reason to stay at home. I’m ashamed and sorry for what I’ve done. But you’ve got to take your share of the blame. If ye hadn’t rebuffed every approach I made, then maybe Hanny would have been saved a lot of heartache. I gave her money because she said she would go to Granny about some trouble. I was wrong. I should have kept her here for you to see to, but we’ve both been so wrapped up in our own affairs that our child has suffered.’
The colour drained from Susannah’s face and her mouth trembled. ‘So it is that kind of trouble. And who do you think Hanny’s staying with if it isn’t a married man?’
Jock shook his grizzled head more in pain than in anger. ‘How the hell should I know? I thought she’d have stayed with Granny but I was wrong. At least she has some friends, Mother, and we should be glad of that, even if we know nothing about them.’
She stamped her foot like a frustrated child. ‘Stop calling me Mother! I’m not your mother!’
He raised his eyebrows. ‘You’ve acted like one. Bossying me around since I came to this house as a lad. It’s you that wore the trousers because you bloody wouldn’t let me.’
Her face turned a fiery red and she put a hand to her breast. ‘You never argued with my decisions.’
‘I don’t like arguments. I’m a peaceable man. Now out of my way, I’ve got work to go to.’ He placed his hands on her waist and lifted her up.
‘No!’ Susannah was now white to the lips. ‘Forget us for now. Hanny! You say you gave her money. Granny Popo said she gave her castor oil. Hannah says that she’s fine? Is it true? Or is she lying?’
He said heavily, ‘She was worried sick about what yer’d think about her. She wanted to protect ye. So she might be lying but all might be well with her now.’
Susannah felt as if she might faint and clung to him. ‘Who is he?’ she whispered. ‘Did she tell you?’
‘You wouldn’t like the truth,’ said Jock, sick to his soul, thinking about his son’s wickedly devious nature. ‘You brought her up to be a good girl.’
‘Yes, I did,’ she murmured, wondering what had gone wrong to make Hannah behave so foolishly.
He held Susannah against him a moment and then put her down. He paused on the step. ‘Give it time. She’ll come home when she’s ready, Sue, luv.’
She stared at him, her heart thumping. It had been so long since he had called her by name and held her that she had almost forgotten what it was like. ‘Are you sure you don’t know where she is?’
Jock sighed. ‘I’ll see yer later, Sue.’
Susannah watched him walk down the street. Her heart ached, remembering how it had been when he had courted her and in those early days of marriage. She had believed then that he could love her despite the eight-year age gap between them. She heard movement behind her and turned. Bert was placing his carry-out in his coat pocket before lifting his coat down from its hook. She wondered if he had been listening to their conversation, but she was in no mood to discuss Hanny with him right now. She wanted to be alone, to think.
Bert placed an arm about her shoulders and kissed his mother’s hair. ‘See you this evening.’ He went out, closing the door firmly behind him.
As he walked up the street, his mind was working busily, even as he smiled at several of the neighbours. So Hanny thought Mal Moran was dead and how did she know that unless she’d been in contact with the dummy and his sister? He wished he knew where they were. On the other hand, it was probably best for him if Hanny continued to stay away. She’d been a bit hysterical the last time he’d seen her and might say the same kind of thing to Mother that she’d said to their dah. In which case, it might be a good thing to press the point home with his mother about that boss of hers fancying her.
‘I don’t believe it,’ whispered Susannah, her round face working in her agitation. ‘Your dah says it’s not true… and besides Mr Bannister isn’t a married man.’ Her hands twitched in her lap.
Bert had forgotten that fact and could have kicked himself. Who else could he blame? He considered and again that piece of information his parents hadn’t seemed to pick up on, struck him afresh. ‘Mother, haven’t you wondered how Hanny knows that Mal Moran is dead? Who could have told her that?’ He got down on his knees and gazed up at her as she perched on the edge of the armchair.
His mother stared at him blankly and put a hand to her head. ‘I can’t think.’
‘His children, of course. Kenny or Alice! Our Hanny was always close to them. She felt sorry for them, especially the dummy.’
‘The dummy?’ Susannah’s face screwed up as if trying to remember.
Bert felt a rising exasperation. ‘Kenny, Mal’s son. You’ve got to remember what a terrible upbringing he had.’
‘A gentle soul,’ murmured Susannah, her face relaxing. ‘Our Hanny was fond of him. He’d never hurt her.’
Bert gritted his teeth. ‘Mother, he could have changed. You’ve got to remember that he’s got Mal’s blood in him.’
‘Florrie was good to him.’
Bert nodded in agreement. ‘Yes, but she wasn’t his mother. He doesn’t take after her. He’s Mal’s son. Mal who pushed you down the stairs and could have killed you.’
Susannah moistened her lips; her head ached and, for once, she wished Bert would leave her alone. ‘Mal’s Kenny’s father?’
‘Yes.’ He beamed at her. ‘And Kenny’s probably the one who’s got our Hannah into trouble. Blood will out, Mother. As for Hanny, she should have had the courage to tell you the trouble she was in. I don’t suppose she meant to be cowardly and selfish, but she probably just didn’t think how you’d have much rather she’d have come to you with the truth. You wouldn’t have turned her away, would you, Mother?’
Susannah’s head sank onto his chest and she wept. She felt so confused. Bert reached up and touched her shoulder. Then, hearing footsteps behind him, turned and saw Joy watching the pair of them. Smiling at her, he thought how nicely she was growing up.
‘Is Mother OK?’ she said, her expression unfriendly as she met her brother’s gaze.
‘Yes, is Mother OK?’ echoed Grace, who followed hard on her sister’s heels.
Bert studied his sisters, two of them growing up nicely. He flashed them a dazzling smile. ‘Of course, she’s OK. Aren’t you, Mother?’
She lifted her head, wiped her eyes, and then looked at her younger daughters. ‘Where’s Freddie?’
‘Still playing out,’ said Joy. ‘Any news from Hanny?’
Susannah nodded. ‘Yes, this morning. She’s fine.’
‘When’s she coming home? We miss her.’
‘We all miss her,’ said Bert with a sigh.
Joy ignored him and focused her gaze on her mother. ‘But when will that be, Mother?’
Susannah released a long sigh. For a moment she did not know how to answer Joy. She was hurting inside, really hurting. Bert must be right. Hanny and Kenny, Mal Moran’s son! The man who was responsible for all her troubles. How could Hanny have anything to do with him? She felt a stir of anger against her daughter. She was selfish! Didn’t care about how they were feeling about what she was doing… not giving tuppence about the pain her family were going through. How could she prefer to be with the Morans instead of them? Her anger grew. Let her stay away! They’d manage without her. She would explain her absence to the neighbours by putting it out that Hanny was staying in Moreton, helping Joan. Her cousin was getting frail and Hanny was to stay with her to the end. She now told her girls and Freddie that same lie.
Grace’s thin face was despondent, but she responded by saying, ‘I want to see Hanny, of course, but if she’s all right, I can get by without seeing her for a while. I don’t really feel like going to Moreton anymore. I’ve had enough being there weekends. It was so cold in cousin Joan’s house.’
‘That’s fine,’ said Susannah, glad to have the flaw in her tale pointed out to her. ‘I’ve had enough of being away from home at the weekends, too.’
All through their chattering over supper, Susannah’s thoughts ran on as she sought to remember more of the past. Flashes of memory came back to her of the tussles she’d had with Hanny as a child. She remembered going to Moreton one day, when Joy was only a baby, and warning Hanny to stay away from the water’s edge, but would she? She kept going a little bit closer and then a bit closer still. She wouldn’t be told. If Bert hadn’t moved so fast she could have drowned. Then she’d had the nerve to say Bert had egged her on. Children! They were always a worry. But never would she have believed that Hanny would bring such shame to their door. But, then, never would she have believed that Jock would go with another woman.
She felt that choking sensation in her chest, just thinking of Nora Taylor. If only she had never found out, then none of these things would have happened, she felt certain. But until she knew for sure that he had stopped seeing that woman, she had no intention of welcoming him to her side of the bed.
In the meantime, she determined not to talk about her daughter unless asked. Hanny had made the decision not to ask for her help. If she were living with Kenny, and he was just like his father, then hopefully she would realise her mistake and come flying home.