We caught the train back, and Olivia drove me home from the station. I’d tried to perk up, but it was no use. Seeing my parents was too much of a shock. Guilt jumped onto the fresh grief that was just as bad as it had been way back when. Olivia had shown me such a lovely time, and then I stuffed everything up.
I’d ruined our day in London.
We arrived at Angelica’s. I pushed the car door open and got out. “I’m so, so sorry, Olivia. Thanks for taking me. I really appreciate it.”
“Hey, Lily, it’s okay. I’m just sorry you’re so sick. Call me tomorrow. Let me know if you’re feeling better.” Sympathy shone from her eyes.
“I will. Drive safe.” I shut the car door and made my way to the house. When I walked in, Angelica, James, and Millicent were waiting in the living room.
Millicent ran to me. “Are you okay, Lily? Oh goodness. You’re so pale. Sit down.” She grabbed my arm and steered me to one of the Chesterfields.
I couldn’t even manage a half smile. “What are you guys doing here?”
James stared at me. “Waiting for you. Millicent picked up on your feelings. She said it was serious, so we came here.”
How had she sensed my thoughts? “But I shielded myself this morning.”
Millicent answered. “Your emotions send off a different signal to your thoughts. The mind-protection spell doesn’t cover feelings.”
“Oh.” Well, what difference did it make, since I wasn’t going to do magic anymore? “I suggest you all sit down, and then look at my photos.” James frowned, probably at the look on my face. “Olivia took me to the National Gallery today. I’m sorry.”
What else could I say? I was about to put my brother and Angelica through a world of hell. But they would want me to show them. I was sure of it.
I sat and put my head in my hands and cried. I’d held it in as much as I could on the train, but I couldn’t hold back now. My parents. My beautiful, loving, giving parents. The ones I’d never hug, never talk to, never celebrate birthdays or Christmas with. Ever again. They’d been right there. I could have touched them. But I couldn’t. They were phantasms. As ephemeral as a dream.
Millicent gasped, and Angelica said, “Oh, my God.” I looked up. James sat in the middle, and they all stared at the screen. James looked as sick as I felt, his skin white, eyes glassy. Tears ran down his cheeks. Millicent threw her arms around him and squeezed. Angelica looked up at me, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. Then she did something I’d never have expected. She stood, came over, and wrapped her arms around me.
“Oh, Lily. I'm so sorry.” We sobbed together.
After we’d cried enough to exhaust ourselves, I stood. I enclosed James’s hands in mine. “Time to turn that off. I’ll put it on my laptop tomorrow, and we can see it more clearly, but for now, I think we should talk.” He let me pry the camera from his hands, and I turned it off. His forlorn eyes met mine, and I struggled not to start weeping all over again.
He shook his head, his shoulders dropping. “How could you handle seeing them? Right there? Are you going to be okay?”
“I lost it and threw up in a bin, and I didn’t care. Olivia must have thought I was a nut. To be honest, I can’t remember much except staring at them, wanting to touch them so bad. I'm surprised at how many photos I took. I was on automatic pilot.” I took a shuddering breath. “I feel like I’ve lost them all over again.”
James nodded. “Me too.”
I sat next to him and held his hand. “I don’t want to be a witch anymore. I don’t think I can handle seeing them again.”
Angelica’s voice was soft. “I’m sorry, Lily, but you don’t have that option. You can’t stop being a witch. You can stop using your magic, but it will always call to you. And the more you don’t use it, the greater the need will be.”
Noooooo! It felt like my heart was being squeezed into oblivion. “Can I at least turn it off, so I can’t see things when I take photos?” My one passion was turning into a freaking nightmare.
She thought for a moment. “I do believe that’s possible. James, you can turn off your lie detecting, can’t you?”
“If I try hard enough, yes. Sometimes I need a break from knowing everything, or I just want to relax with friends, and I don’t want to be judging every conversation.”
She turned to Millicent. “What about you, dear?”
“Yes. I can stop picking up on what everyone else is feeling, but I don’t like to, because I feel isolated. But it’s possible. I also have to cut myself off from all magic. It’s a bit scary, to be honest. I worry I’ll lose it forever when I do that. It’s like stepping into a lifeless void. Lily, don’t make any rash decisions while you’re upset, although you can’t run from your powers anyway. Just hang in there. We’ll be here for you, I promise.” She gave me an encouraging smile, then took a deep breath. “I'm not sure if this is the right time to tell you, but we have some news.”
A ghost of a smile touched James’s lips before sadness swept it away. “You can tell them, Mill.”
Happiness shone from her eyes. “You know how I was sick the other day?” I nodded. “It turns out that I’m pregnant. We’re having a baby.” Her smile of pure joy cheered me up. My parents would have loved this, but they would never get to hold their grandbabies. Bittersweet sucked. Couldn’t we just do away with the bitter?
My no-hugs policy went out the window as I bear hugged both Millicent and James. “You guys, that’s awesome. I’m so happy for you.” And then I was crying again, but this time, they were happy tears.
“My, what a day!” Angelica clapped her hands once. “I think this calls for a cup of tea.”
“And a coffee?”
“Of course, Lily. I’ll magic you up a cappuccino from your favourite investigator’s coffee machine.”
I laughed. “Very funny, Ma’am.”
Two teacups on saucers and filled with water and a teabag appeared on the table that sat between the Chesterfields. Angelica waved her hand over them until steam rose. The screaming hiss of milk frothing came from the kitchen. Two cappuccinos appeared on the table. Both had chocolate on the top in the shape of a heart. Aw, that was so sweet. “Thank you, Ma’am. I think you’re my favourite witch ever.”
“Hey, what about me?” asked James.
“And me!” Millicent pouted.
“Stuff it. You’re all my favourites.” Because, really, how could I choose? They’d all been there for me, and would always be. No matter how many meltdowns I had, they’d be here to help me pick up the pieces. “Thanks, guys. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“I’ll drink to that.” Millicent raised her teacup, her pinkie finger elegantly sticking out.
“Here’s to babies and family.” I raised my coffee, and we all clinked our cups together.
I hated having to stay the witch course, but if what they all said was true, I didn’t have a choice. “Ma’am, since it seems like I’m stuck with being a witch, can you start teaching me tomorrow how to cut off the power?”
She turned a resigned gaze on me. “If you insist. We can start tomorrow.”
“Thank you.” Relief stormed through my body, leaving exhaustion in its wake. Even the smell and taste of coffee wasn’t enough to hold it at bay. I mustered up enough energy to finish the coffee—this was me we were talking about—and I hugged everyone again.
“Can I borrow the memory card?” James asked.
“Of course.”
“I don’t want you to send me the photos, because anyone could intercept them, and then your secret will be out.”
“But how will anyone know when they were taken?”
“True, but best to be safe rather than sorry.”
Angelica magicked everyone’s empty cups away. “I’ll need a copy too, for the file. But I can do that here. It’s too risky to take into the PIB.”
That surprised me. I thought I was the only one who didn’t trust that organisation. Looked like I was in good company.
“I’ll back this up on a memory stick and give this back to you tomorrow. Okay?”
“Yep, that’s fine. But please be careful with it. I don’t want to go through getting those photos again. As much as it hurts to see them, it would hurt to lose that extra little piece we’ve got.”
He gave me a sad smile. “I know. I’ll be careful.”
“Well, today’s beaten me, so I’m off to bed. And congrats again.” I left them with a smile. From now on, I would try and focus on what I had rather than what I didn’t. Hopefully it wouldn’t be as hard as I feared.