LETTER

14 October 1975

Oceanside, CA

Dear Peter,

I understand if you may not wish to hear from me. I am very sorry that I took Yasha and disappeared so abruptly from Princeton after I threw you out, and that you have not heard from me until now. I have been in a state of almost perpetual confusion, with no real sense of clarity to offer you, which has made me too ashamed to write.

I have not been healthy in my mind, exactly. But I am trying.

Here is what I wish to say, my dearest, if you will listen:

Though I’m gone, I do not forget you. I can never forget you. What I cannot seem to do is love you well enough to stop running.

Your loving

Svetlana