Yes No UndecidedIn many premarital counseling programs the issue of child-rearing is not dealt with in great detail. This is usually because of a time factor and because most couples are more concerned with immediate issues such as finances, marriage plans, and the sexual side of marriage.
Some couples do not plan for children or use forms of birth control to choose when to have children. Others can’t wait to have children. What are your thoughts? Do you feel you should have children right away or do you plan to get to know your marriage partner better before having children? How long should a couple wait?
The following questions are designed to help you formulate your thoughts and verbally set forth a plan for child-rearing. Share together your thinking in this important area of marriage.
1. Do you plan to have children?
Yes No Undecided
2. How many children would you like to have?
3. How long would you like to wait before having children?
4. Should a couple wait until they can afford to have children?
Yes No Undecided
5. I feel that it is important for the father to be present at the birth of a child.
Yes No Undecided
6. If we cannot have children, my feelings about adoption are:
7. What are your feelings if you would have only boys or only girls?
8. How much should a husband participate in the care of a baby?
9. What are your feelings toward sharing equally in all of the activities of care and raising of children (feeding, changing diapers, late-night responsibilities, etc.)?
10. The names of children should be determined by:
11. The responsibility for the discipline of the children lies with:
Husband Wife Both
12. I want my children to learn the following values, rules, and characteristics:
13. My parents used the following discipline with me:
14. I want to discipline my children in the following ways:
Early years
Middle years
Teen years
15. Who should be responsible for assisting children with homework?
Husband Wife Both
16. My thoughts with regard to leaving children in daycare or with babysitters are:
17. Who is responsible for buying clothes for the children?
Husband Wife Both
Comments:
18. Who decides what gifts to buy for the children?
Husband Wife Both
19. I feel that the place of pets in the home is:
20. I feel that favoritism of children in the home is:
21. What is your opinion about standing behind your mate’s discipline of the children?
22. If you have children by a former marriage, what will you want their relationship to be with the new father/mother?
23. If you have children by a former marriage, who will discipline your children?
24. If you have children by a former marriage, do you foresee any problems with visiting rights of the divorced partner? Explain:
25. In discipline, how strict do you think parents should be?
26. I think the most important thing in child discipline is:
27. I think that praising children involves:
28. How much should parents sacrifice for their children?
29. What are your thoughts about parents caring more for the children than for each other?
30. I think children should have the following privileges:
Early years
Middle years
Teen years
31. What message do you think is conveyed in Psalm 127 and Psalm 128?
32. Read Proverbs 22:6; 22:15; 13:24; 23:13,14; 29:15; 19:18; 29:17; Hebrews 12:5-11; Proverbs 20:30; Ephesians 6:4. After reading these verses, I think God’s attitude toward discipline is:
33. I think having children will teach me the following lessons:
34. I have the following questions concerning child-rearing: