Yes NoSeldom does a week go by that I don’t do some form of sexual counseling. I never cease to be amazed that, although we live in a sex-saturated culture, little good sex knowledge is known by the common man or woman on the street. I have had individuals in my office who stated that their families were very open in the discussion of sex. They also felt they were very knowledgeable in this area. Yet, as we talked further, I could see how little they knew and how embarrassed they were to talk on this subject.
The following questions are frank and deal with common problems encountered in giving sexual counsel. It has been my experience that most couples do not talk about sexual matters very deeply, even after they are married. These questions deal with real issues. A great deal of frustration, hurt, fear, and anger could be eliminated if these issues were faced by the couple before they became crisis points in what is designed by God to be a most beautiful experience.
I encourage you to discuss together the following questions.
1. Have you had a physical examination for your marriage?
Yes No
2. Do you have any health problems? Explain:
3. Are you bringing any sexually transmitted diseases into this relationship?
4. At this particular time, I think about sex:
| Seldom
|
Periodically
|
| Frequently
|
Regularly
|
5. My present feelings about sex are:
|
Disturbed
|
Fearful |
Anxious |
Neutral |
| Expectant |
Excited |
Intrigued |
6. Do you have any sexual inhibitions, fears, or awkward feelings? Explain:
7. What was your impression of your parents’ sex life?
| Fulfilling |
Warm |
Casual |
Neutral |
| Tolerant |
Cold |
Empty |
8. Were you the victim of any unpleasant sexual experiences as a child, adolescent, or adult?
| No |
Incest |
Raped |
|
Molested |
Homosexual encounter |
|
| Indecent exposure | ||
| Other |
9. Who do you think is responsible for birth control?
Husband Wife Both
10. In planning to postpone or not having children, the form of birth control method I prefer is:
| Withdrawal |
Rhythm |
Douche |
Foam |
| Birth control pills |
Vasectomy |
Contraceptive jelly |
|
| Condom |
Diaphragm |
Cervical Cap |
|
| Tubal ligation |
Abortion |
Hysterectomy |
|
| IUD
|
Vaginal suppositories |
11. Who do you think should initiate sexual activity?
Why?
12. Who do you think should determine the way, the place, how often, length of time, and variety of sexual activity?
13. How do you feel about seeing you partner nude?
14. How do you feel about having your partner seeing you nude?
15. State your thoughts about the following:
Lip kissing
Tongue kissing
Your partner kissing your body
Kissing of your partner’s body
Caressing your partner’s body
Your partner caressing your body
Kissing your partner’s genitals
Your partner kissing your genitals
Bringing your partner to a climax by hand
Your partner bringing you to a climax by hand
Bringing your partner to a climax by oral stimulation
Your partner bringing you to a climax by oral stimulation
16. How important do you think simultaneous orgasm is?
17. A woman reaches orgasm by:
18. Why is it important to communicate about sexual desires?
19. Why is it important to verbally tell your partner what stimulates you sexually?
20. What are your thoughts about intercourse during the woman’s menstrual period?
21. What type of menstrual period do you or your fiancé have?
22. How many times per week do you think that you would like to have intercourse?
23. I think the act of intercourse should last:
24. I would prefer a lovemaking environment that includes (lighting, music, etc.):
25. Privacy in lovemaking is important because:
26. At what time of day should lovemaking take place?
27. What are your thoughts as to where lovemaking should take place?
28. What are your thoughts about various positions in intercourse?
29. What will you do when the man has difficulty in maintaining an erection?
30. What will you do when the man has difficulty with premature ejaculation?
31. What will you do when you find the woman cannot reach a climax?
32. What will you do when you find the woman cannot reach a climax with the penis inserted into the vagina?
33. How important do you think the act of intercourse is on the honeymoon night?
34. What will you do when the man cannot make entrance into the woman and complete the act of intercourse due to tightened vaginal muscles or pain in the vaginal area?
35. Suppose that you have been married for a period of time, and one day you discover your mate masturbating. What will you do?
36. What might you do if you find that your partner does not like the act of intercourse?
37. How do men and women differ in their readiness for sexual climax?
38. If I discovered my partner was romantically interested in another person, I would:
39. Why are things like kind words, gentle touches, and kind deeds important in the lovemaking process?
40. Do you think you will be able to refuse sexual requests of your partner without offending him/ her?
Yes No Uncertain
What will you say?
41. How much personal privacy do you feel is needed?
42. I have a lack of sexual knowledge in the following areas:
43. How tense were you as you answered these questions?
44. Do you believe in counseling for sexual problems?
Yes No Uncertain
45. Who would you feel free to talk with concerning sexual problems?
46. After reading 1 Corinthians 6:15-20 and 1 Thessalonians 4:1-8, state what you think is God’s view of premarital intercourse:
47. In Hebrews 13:4 it says, “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure.” I think this means:
48. After reading 1 Corinthians 7:3-5, the concept I think the writer is trying to convey is:
49. I have the following questions about sexual matters:
Additional Resource
The Act of Marriage: The Beauty of Sexual Love
by Tim and Beverly LaHaye.
This book contains valuable information on all aspects of sex from a Christian viewpoint.
The art of mutually enjoyable lovemaking is not difficult to learn, but neither is it automatic. No one is a good lover by nature.…Yet no one need settle for a lifetime of sexual frustration.
Thus Tim and Beverly LaHaye sum up this book—a most practical, thorough, and useful Christian handbook on sexual love.