Baz pushed the plate away from herself and exhaled. ‘I couldn’t eat another bite.’
Peggy, who had dyed her hair electric blue overnight, got a cheeky look in her eye as she leant closer to Daisy. ‘You know, when Baz invited us for lunch today, we all balked.’
‘Oh, yeah?’ Daisy gave her a small smile. ‘Why’s that, then?’
Baz looked down and brushed a crumb from her placemat. Cookie was on it in an instant. ‘For a moment, I assumed you objected to eating vegan food. But then I realised I’d neglected to mention the most important detail.’
Daisy’s smile became a chuckle. ‘Would that be the fact I’d be the one cooking, by any chance?’
Peggy tapped her nose twice. ‘Indeed. I prefer my lunch to be of the edible sort.’ She turned to Baz. ‘Though I will say this traybake is delicious. What did you call it? Namayo?’
‘Thank you.’ Baz sat up taller and gave a small nod. ‘It’s a Nanaimo bar.’
Peggy took another bite and savoured it for a moment. ‘The flavours are different, but it’s similar to an Italian cremino.’
Madge flipped up the nurse’s watch pinned to her chest. ‘We’d best get a move on if we want to be on time.’ She pushed her chair back from Baz’s dining table and stood.
As Madge began collecting everyone’s dishes, the others got up.
Daisy tried to take the stack of plates from Madge. ‘I can do that. Honestly.’
Madge made a tiny shake of her head. ‘Don’t be ridiculous. Won’t take us more than a few minutes to get this all washed up.’
Daisy raised her hands in surrender. ‘Okay, okay. You can stack them over there next to the dishwasher. I draw the line at washing the dishes. How about that, eh?’
Madge arched an eyebrow and studied the much-taller woman for a few tense seconds. ‘As I said, we’ll get everything loaded into the dishwasher before we go.’
The older women bundled up in their coats and hats and sturdy shoes.
‘Thank you for the lovely lunch,’ said Madge.
‘You behave yourself, young man.’ Peggy bent to give Cookie a quick cuddle before standing upright and addressing Daisy. ‘And thank you for looking after this big lump for a few hours.’ The giant dog wasn’t brave enough to be left home alone.
Daisy looked up from where she was sitting on the floor, playing some sort of game with the dog. ‘You’re kidding, right? I’d happily pay you for the privilege of hanging out with him. I’ve got our whole afternoon planned out. First up is a trip to Hilly Fields. Then I’ve got some games to sharpen his brain.’
Peggy snort-laughed. ‘Good luck with that. I love him dearly, but there’s nothing there to sharpen.’
Daisy covered Cookie’s ears with her hands. ‘Don’t you listen to her. She’s just being mean.’
Madge looked pointedly at Daisy. ‘She is the cat’s mother.’
Baz tried not to let a chuckle escape her lips. There had to be some kind of law somewhere that dictated if anyone ever referred to someone as ‘she’ when the ‘she’ in question was present, an uptight older woman would pop her head up like a grammar jack-in-the-box and declare that ‘she is the cat’s mother’.
What does that even mean?
Peggy rolled her eyes. ‘Haven’t you been paying attention, Madge? Surely, if anything, she is the dog’s mother.’
Several minutes later, the four women set out from the front door of Baz’s tower block – two on their scooters and two walking.
As she steered along the pavement, Baz tried hard not to think of the time they’d all set out from her place to have a very awkward and ill-advised meeting.
When they got to the bottom of Tanner’s Hill, instead of turning up the road, towards Wellbeloved Café, they crossed over and headed down Deptford High Street instead. The open-air market was in full swing, with traders calling out their wares and greeting the women warmly.
Before too long, they rounded the corner onto Douglas Way. The busy market continued, stalls lining both sides of the street. A pleasant hubbub accompanied the sight. But as they manoeuvred between shoppers, another sound reached Baz’s ears.
Oh no, not again.
Because, of course, Mitch and his pals were near the entrance to the Albany Theatre, making a nuisance of themselves. As usual.
‘Well, lookie here.’ Mitch pointed at the women as he bellowed, ‘If it ain’t Blue Hair and Pronouns. One’ll run you down with her hagmobile and the other will pervert your kiddies!’
Baz felt her chest tighten. Despite the cool, fresh air, she feared she might faint. But Peggy didn’t hesitate, ploughing right through the centre of the group, causing several of them to leap out of her way at the last second.
Baz stayed as close behind Peggy as she dared. As they passed Mitch, Peggy whispered, ‘Crispin.’
Mitch’s face blanched and he vibrated with rage. If looks could kill, Peggy’s heart would have certainly stopped. He looked like he could murder someone right there and then.
What Mitch didn’t do was ask Peggy who she was talking to or what she meant. He definitely didn’t ask her to repeat herself. ‘C’mon, lads.’ He pointed further along the crowded road and told his gang he thought he spotted … Baz couldn’t bring herself to repeat his language even in her own head. The group moved like a swarm of angry hornets.
Carole and Madge caught up with Baz and Peggy just in time to head into the theatre.
Inside, they were met by Paul and a man who looked vaguely familiar. It took Baz a moment to realise he was the man who kept trying to talk to them.
‘Oh, loves!’ Paul ran over to them. ‘Just park your scooters here, next to the door. Were those brutes giving you a hard time again? I’m so sorry – I promised the girls I’d keep an eye out for you but I got chatting to…’ The way Paul pointed at his companion made Baz suspect she wasn’t the only one who couldn’t remember the man’s name.
The man stood watching Paul, seemingly unaware of the growing awkwardness. He tossed a ring with dozens of keys, spinning them around and around on his finger.
She still couldn’t remember his name, but Baz did recall that he was the one who had … unusual proclivities. ‘Warm in here.’ She shuddered.
Madge unzipped her coat. ‘We know Arthur.’
That was the fellow’s name.
‘Do you? Lovely.’ Paul clapped. ‘He’s just been telling me about his battle with the council. He’s trying to persuade them to build a new wildlife park in the area.’
That didn’t sound right to Baz. Arthur looked like he wanted to correct Paul, but didn’t get a word out before Paul continued. ‘But of course, you know the council. They’re more concerned with— Well, I’ll be honest – I have no idea what sorts of thing the council’s senior leaders worry about. I know it isn’t libraries or community centres.’ He turned and flapped a hand at the much-taller Arthur. ‘Did I tell you I work for the community centre?’
Once again, Arthur opened his mouth to speak but Paul had already turned towards Baz and her friends.
‘So, ladies,’ Paul continued without even pausing for a breath. ‘Any progress to report in our missing persons case? Come on, spill the tea. I need to know everything!’
‘Oh, good lord,’ said Peggy. ‘I need a drink. Come on, Carole, love. Let’s go see if we can rustle up a coffee.’
Arthur blinked. ‘Someone’s gone missing?’
‘They have indeed!’ Paul splayed his fingers and touched his chest. ‘And our friends here are playing Miss Marple, doing a bit of investigation into the mysterious case of the vanishing queens.’ He made jazz hands when he spoke the last few words.
Arthur looked puzzled. ‘Will the show go ahead if one of the queens is missing? It’s not Bluebird is it?’
Paul playfully swatted Arthur on the arm but it was Madge who replied. ‘It’s not one of the queens from today’s show. Clive – do you know Clive?’
Arthur shook his head.
Madge carried on regardless. ‘Anyhow, Clive asked us to look into the disappearance of his friend Eddie.’
Arthur was studying Madge. ‘Eddie?’
Hands still swinging wildly, Paul looked at Arthur. ‘She means Sue. You remember Sue – Sue Panova? She performed with Royal Tea sometimes. Her boy name is Eddie. She vanished, oh … almost three weeks ago now.’
Baz was starting to feel like a third wheel in this conversation. She wished she had something to contribute.
‘Oh dear,’ Arthur said. ‘I hope everything’s all right. But I’m sure the police are doing all they can.’
Madge kissed her teeth. ‘The police? Arthur, you know better than that. What do the police care about a missing asylum seeker?’
‘They, erm, they ran a task force,’ said Baz, finally feeling like she had something to contribute.
Both Paul and Arthur looked at her, eyes narrowed.
‘They did what?’ Paul’s eyes opened wide and he touched his chest. ‘I can’t believe I didn’t know about this!’
‘I don’t understand,’ Arthur said. ‘If she’s only been missing a few weeks, when did the police run a task force?’
‘That’s the thing.’ Baz leant a bit closer to the men. ‘It’s not just one missing person. There are—’
‘Yoo-hoo! Wagwan, ladies?’
Madge’s face was impassive. ‘Clive.’
Coco Celeste touched her chest and made a show of looking to her right and then her left. ‘Who is this Clive you speak of? I don’t know anyone by that name. He sounds dreadfully dull if you ask me.’
Baz kissed Coco’s cheek. ‘I didn’t realise you were part of today’s show.’
Coco nodded politely. ‘I am, darling. Can’t get rid of me that easily.’ She looked at Madge again. ‘But since you mentioned our mutual friend Clive – however tedious the man is – he did ask me to pass along a message.’
Madge arched an eyebrow. ‘And what’s that?’
‘He wanted me to thank you for sending that delicious mountain of a man to assist with his immigration foibles,’ replied Coco.
Madge crossed her arms over her chest. ‘For pity’s sake, Cl— Co— Ugh. Just speak plainly.’
Coco closed the space between Madge and herself and took Madge’s hands in her own. ‘Thank you.’
Madge looked like she might say something dismissive. But then she just nodded.
Coco took a step back and put her hands on her hips. ‘Also, Blue sent me over to say the show’s going to be starting soon, so you should probably take your seats.’
Baz looked around for Peggy and Carole. But Madge took her arm and guided her. ‘I don’t know why that horrible man is always asking so many questions.’
‘What?’ Baz took her seat next to Carole and then turned around. ‘Which man?’
But as they took their seats, the show started and Baz never did hear Madge’s response.