An hour later, they left Madge’s flat with a large, heavy parcel wrapped in rubbish bags and an old duvet. Carole carried one end of the bundle and Madge the other.
When they’d made it as far as the lift, Baz went down first to serve as lookout. Once she was on the ground, she rang Peggy. ‘The coast is clear.’ She could have shouted, but they were trying to avoid calling attention to themselves.
As the lift door was about to slide open again, though, a young man appeared.
‘Oh, er, good evening.’ Baz wasn’t sure whether she was speaking loudly on purpose or if she just couldn’t help it. ‘Sorry, I didn’t see you there.’
The man nodded in greeting and looked like he was about to head off. When the lift door scraped open, Baz let out a startled squeak. She hoped it wasn’t audible – but it almost certainly was. Maybe it blended in with the noise of the door. She could only hope.
‘Evening, Aunties. Oh my days. That looks heavy. Here, let me help you.’
‘You,’ screamed Carole. ‘You get your hands off my soufflé. I know my rights. You’re not taking me back to your secret underground laboratory.’
Madge’s voice was calm, measured. ‘Thank you, Damien. That’s very kind – but as my friend says, we’re perfectly capable of carrying our parcel. Perhaps you could just assist Peggy in bringing the trailer over.’
‘Oh, er, yeah, sure. Of course.’
Baz held her breath. Why were they letting this innocent young man help them dispose of a dead body? What on earth was Madge thinking?
Peggy and Damien headed towards where she’d parked her scooter. ‘I think, Damien, how we can best use you is if you hold the trailer steady while Carole and Madge – that is, Mrs Dixon – load the bundle into it.’
‘Of course, yeah.’ Damien nodded before jogging back over to where Madge and Carole were awkwardly emerging from the lift with their burden. ‘Hey, are you sure I can’t help you, Mrs Dixon? It don’t feel right – me standing here watching you carry that. Looks heavy, innit?’
‘It’s fine,’ grunted Madge as Peggy reversed into position. ‘You just steady that trailer for us, Damien.’
He grimaced but did as he was told.
When the women deposited the corpse into the trailer, a trainer-clad foot dropped out and hung at an odd angle. Baz shuddered and released a small but – she felt sure – fully justified shriek.
Damien didn’t seem to notice the human foot. Instead he looked at Baz. ‘You sure you’re okay, Auntie? Do you need me to call someone for you?’ He rubbed his neck. ‘Or maybe get you something?’
Baz tried to swallow down her rising panic and focus on remaining upright despite the fog of dizziness that threatened to envelop her. ‘I’m fine. I’m fine. Sorry.’
Peggy waved in Baz’s direction. ‘Don’t mind Baz. She’s a nervous Nellie.’
His hand still on the back of his neck, Damien looked down at the bundle in the trailer. ‘Oh my days, Aunties. That’s gotta be well heavy! You shoulda let me carry it for you.’
‘Young man, I could benchpress you, I’ll have you know,’ said Carole. She leant in close to him and whispered, ‘I terrify my personal trainer.’
Damien laughed nervously. ‘I’ll bet you do, Auntie.’ He rubbed the back of his curls. ‘What’s in it anyway?’
All four women replied at the same time.
‘Carpet,’ said Baz.
‘Dog food,’ said Peggy.
‘Compost,’ said Madge.
Carole smiled brightly and clapped. ‘It’s a dead body. Would you like to see?’
Baz winced. They should have got their stories straight before leaving the flat.
But Damien held his hands up in self-defence. ‘All right. My bad. You’re right – it’s none of my business.’
Madge tucked Arthur’s leg back into the trailer with no visible sense of shame. She dusted herself off and looked up. ‘Thank you, Damien. We appreciate the assistance. You may go now.’
Damien waved cheerily as he set off. Baz watched him bound up the stairs to the left of the lift, taking them two at a time.
Despite the chill of the night air, Baz had to wipe sweat from her brow before it dripped into her eyes. ‘That was close.’
‘What in heaven’s name was all that screeching about?’ Peggy turned to face front. ‘No, never mind. Let’s just get this thing done. Everyone ready?’ Without waiting for an answer, she squeezed the accelerator on her handlebars. And then it was Peggy’s turn to let out an involuntary cry as the scooter rolled backwards. Apparently the mobility scooter couldn’t handle the heavy load combined with the car park’s steep incline.
Baz, Madge, and Carole all ran towards her, reaching out to stop the scooter from rolling back. ‘I think if you turn, Peggy,’ Baz said, ‘you should be able to leave at a less steep angle. And with our help, you should be able to get moving. Once we get onto the road, it’s downhill and then level, so you should be okay.’
With Baz, Madge, and Carole all pushing Peggy’s scooter from behind – not that Baz imagined her strength added much to the mix – they eventually got Peggy moving. Baz returned to her own scooter and soon the women were on their way.
They passed a man cycling a zig-zagging path the wrong way up the one-way street. ‘Evening, ladies. Bit nippy out tonight, innit?’ he slurred.
‘Oh, George.’ Carole waved at the man to stop. ‘I keep meaning to tell you… We really do need to talk about what happened in Majorca. You remember – with the Pope and that pop singer?’
‘Stupid bitch,’ muttered the man, trying to steer his bike away from them and only barely succeeding. ‘My name’s Stanley and I ain’t Catholic. As you well know!’
Carole turned and shouted at his receding back. ‘Everyone knows that bears strictly follow the catechism.’
Baz felt a rush of relief course through her as they got moving once again.
They turned onto Albyn Road, a small residential street that would take them most of the way. They had almost a kilometre to traverse. Given the late hour, Baz hoped they’d be lucky enough to avoid any further interactions with people.
Alas, it wasn’t to be. As they crossed Friendly Street, someone shouted, ‘Oi!’
‘Just ignore him,’ Peggy said. ‘He’ll give up.’ The women kept on moving. But the man chased after them. Baz noticed both Carole and Peggy put their hands into their pockets. Madge reached into hers too, but a troubled look crossed her face when she did so.
‘Oi! Excuse me.’ The man was gaining on them.
When Baz had told people about her plans to move from Edmonton back to the UK – and more specifically London – her colleagues, friends, and family all expressed concern that she would be the victim of serious crimes. They all seemed convinced that south-east London was some sort of haven for violent thugs and criminals of all sorts.
Baz cast a glance at the deceased serial killer in Peggy’s trailer and willed his ghost to shut up just as the shouting man caught up with them and laid a big beefy hand on Madge’s shoulder.