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The astromech who knew too much and never said a word
Star Wars: Episode III—Revenge of the Sith
Writer: George Lucas
Director: George Lucas
It’s a small moment. Almost a joke used to answer a vergence in continuity created by George Lucas himself. Toward the end of Revenge of the Sith, Bail Organa gives Captain Raymus Antilles custody of C-3PO and R2-D2. That in and of itself connects Episode III to Threepio’s line in A New Hope about belonging to Captain Antilles, but Bail follows that up with a simple order of having the protocol droid’s mind wiped with a knowing smile. As if to say to Antilles and us that there are a lot of secrets in the galaxy and we all know C-3PO can’t keep them. It’s a funny little mo—WAIT A MINUTE. R2-D2 knew everything.
He. Knew. Everything.
The first time this dawns on you, the entire story of the original trilogy rolls out in front of you with an entirely new wrinkle. That squat, sarcastic beeping best friend to Luke Skywalker knew so much about what was going on. Every battle, every mission, and, perhaps, every revelation remained inside his head and he didn’t say a word. If you have a secret, dump it in Artoo!
Except, to quote Anakin in Revenge of the Sith, “This is where the fun begins.”
Wild theories and fun head canon are part of the Star Wars fan experience. Did Boba Fett kill Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru? Was Chewbacca already aware of Obi-Wan Kenobi upon meeting him in the cantina? And what exactly did Artoo know or keep to himself? It becomes an entertaining session of everyone’s favorite game called What If?
What if he and Obi-Wan were communicating with hidden signals upon first meeting up on Tatooine? What if he was so mad at Yoda on Dagobah because he knew who he really was and wanted him to stop wasting time? What if, after Leia kissed Luke in the Hoth medical bay, Artoo beeped that he happened to be there when they were both born on Polis Massa and found this disturbing? Which of course brings up the biggest What If. What if Artoo knew that Luke Skywalker was the son of his former combat buddy Anakin Skywalker?
Ahhhh! So many delicious scenarios come pouring into your Star Wars nerd brain that the dam starts to break. There is now fresh subtext to so many classic scenes. When Ol’ Ben Kenobi says, “I don’t seem to remember ever owning a droid” and gives Artoo a curious look, what was a small moment is now full of Artoo beeping, “What? Have the twin suns of this planet fried your wires? I fought with you…for years! And you didn’t own me, you owned R4-P17. I guess her death didn’t affect you as it did me! You ol’ fool.”
So many questions. So many wonderful questions.
The counter to this (and my joy) is that George Lucas had messed up his own canon. It’s fair to assume that in 1977, Ben Kenobi didn’t recall owning a droid because Ben Kenobi didn’t own a droid, despite those fabled early treatments of The Adventures of Luke Starkiller as taken from the Journal of the Whills, Saga 1: The Star Wars that George scribbled out in the early 1970s. Obi-Wan Kenobi was never meant to pal around with R2-D2. It was an oversight, a mistake, not supposed to be. All of that are fair points.
But, come on, where is the fun in that?
Part of the joy of celebrating Star Wars is also being able to have fun with Star Wars. And this is just plain fun. Look, Star Wars urban legend has us believing that Lucas had previously said that C-3PO and R2-D2 were witnesses to the entire saga, so this isn’t entirely out of nowhere. R2-D2 is just the one with all the knowledge and that expands the impact of the character. Artoo isn’t just a repository of records and events, he’s a trusted friend and agent. He knew what he was doing when he went away from Threepio after crashing on Tatooine because he had been there before. He knew who he was looking for and why. The plan had begun and R2 was there to finish the mission. And maybe that is the answer to one final What If? What if Bail Organa kept his memory intact because all along R2-D2 was more important than we ever could possibly have imagined and what if that was what George Lucas was finally telling us?