Chapter 36

 

“Bad night, Vic?” Clyde asked, as he slowly lowered the weapon he’d had trained on the door.

“You tell me, you’re the one sporting the Duster.”

Clyde didn’t normally hang around the entrance to Necropolis Enforcement. He also rarely if ever carried a Duster – not the long coat they wore in the Old West, and not something with feathers on it. Dusters were the final solution for undeads, their shots containing a mix of everything known to destroy any and all unalive beings with some extras thrown in just in case. They were weapons of vast, scary power, and only a few were allowed to carry them in non-war situations. Clyde was one of those few – age and experience had a lot of prerogatives in the undead world – but I hadn’t seen him wield a weapon of any kind for decades.

He did the slow mummy shrug. “True. However, under the circumstances, the Count felt it would be a good idea for me to watch the door.”

“Everyone all right?” I didn’t see or hear anything wrong, Sexy Cindy wasn’t suggesting things were going evil dead, and hard as I sniffed, nothing smelled out of place. Though I did get a faint whiff of sulfur.

“We are now.” Clyde pulled a wand out from his back. Mummies used their entire bodies as one big pocket. I was glad I couldn’t see from where exactly he’d pulled. He waved the wand around all four of us. The air sparkled.

“Pretty. Are we late for a surprise party?”

Clyde chuckled. “No. You haven’t had to deal with one of these much, I suppose. Easy way of proving you’re who we think you are.”

“How does it work?” Jack asked.

“If the air around you sparkles, you’re not possessed, turned, a dupe, or similar.”

“Dupe?” Jack sounded like he was back in class.

“Short for doppelgänger,” Clyde explained. “Since we had some fun with them earlier, the Count and I decided to go for the easy confirmation. If you’d been more dupes, the air would have looked muddy, like dried blood.”

“Gag me,” Sexy Cindy said. “So, we good to get out of the doorway or what?”

Clyde nodded, turned and lumbered off. I followed him and the others followed me. “So, what happened?”

“Well, as we know you guessed, as the Count was concluding his last conversation with you, you and Mister Wagner appeared in his office. Miss Cindy and Mister Freddy appeared as well.”

“We have…dupes?” Freddy asked. He sounded both worried and fascinated.

Clyde chuckled again. “Well, not any more. Because the Count was fairly confident he’d spoken to the real Victoria he was on guard. When Hansel, Gretel, and Ralph appeared there was quite the brawl, but nothing too serious. We knew we could eliminate with extreme prejudice, and we did.” He cracked his knuckles, or whatever the mummy equivalent was. “I must say, there are times I miss active field work.”

“I don’t think I want to know, but glad it was a fun time for you. Did you get anything out of them before you destroyed? Like how many doppelgängers we have wandering around, what the plan is, things of that useful nature?”

We went past Dispatch. The smell of sulfur was getting stronger the further into HQ we got. It was clear there’d been a ruckus – the whole place was in disarray. Beings were straightening and cleaning up. Some looked a little shaken, but most just looked like it was nice to get a break in the routine.

Clyde went to the lift. Our elevators were different from human ones – no enclosed sides, for starters. Plenty of beings didn’t want to be boxed in, and most wanted easy escape. I made sure Jack was in the middle of the platform. For those of us who couldn’t fly or turn into something that didn’t go splat, lifts were a little nerve-wracking. For a human, it could be a thrill or it could mean total whacked out vertigo. We didn’t have time to find out if Jack liked to live on the edge in every aspect of his life or not.

He stayed behind me, so I voted not. “Are we safe trusting this?” he whispered in my ear.

I nodded.

Clyde turned around and smiled. Always odd in a mummy. “If I was turned, young man, Victoria would know.”

“How?” Jack asked bluntly.

Freddy sighed. “She’s a werewolf. Remember, dupes smell different.”

“Turned and doppelgänger aren’t the same thing,” Jack protested.

“I’d know, and so would Cindy.” I hoped, anyway.

Jack made a gagging sound. “What’s that smell?”

“Sulfur. I smelled it the moment we arrived. It was faint at the front door and is getting stronger the closer to the Count’s office we get. However, it’s not on Clyde.”

“Meaning,” Clyde added as the lift stopped, “that it’s unlikely I’m hiding a minion under my wraps.”

“Good to know,” Jack muttered as we got off and Clyde headed to the Count’s office.

“We heading to see the top dude?” Sexy Cindy asked nervously.

“He’s fine.”

“He’s a vampire, right?” Freddy asked.

“In that sense, the vampire, even though he wasn’t really the first.” I looked over my shoulder. “Guys, really. You’ve been around Ken, Amanda and Maurice and didn’t bat an eyelash. Why are you worried now?”

Freddy shrugged. “The way everyone talks about him….”

“You mean the way human stories talk about him or the way the undead talk about him?”

“We mean we didn’t dress to meet the head honcho,” Sexy Cindy snapped.

“Just stick your chest out. He appreciates women.” I turned back to watch where I was walking. The sulfur smell was bad and getting worse. “Clyde, seriously, why hasn’t anyone cleared this out?”

“Agent Rogers wanted you to smell it.” The Count’s office was at the end of the hall, double doors, very impressive looking. He deserved it, but I always thought he had this set up because he found it funny, not natural or necessary. However, seeing Sexy Cindy’s and Freddy’s reactions, perhaps he also did it to intimidate. Maybe I’d ask him, one day, when we weren’t in the middle of a huge altercation with the forces of evil. Or not. You know, on my whim. Not because he intimidated me in any way.

I almost couldn’t breathe the smell was so bad. I figured Ralph must have realized Jack and I were an item and was upset about it. Why else keep the stench around for my sensory enjoyment? “And you’re all letting Ralph run the show why?”

Clyde sighed as he opened the doors. “Well…you’ll understand once you see everyone.”