That night as Will and Mary got ready for bed, Will said, “With the war winding down, I think it may be the time to expand. I’ve never felt so optimistic about our business, about our future. I’ll stay in after breakfast tomorrow. Let’s sit for a while and plan how we can grow.”
The next morning Mary fixed a large meal—fresh bread, eggs, bacon, cold fries—and when their plates were clean, she pulled warm cinnamon buns from the oven.
After clearing the table, she took out her pen, inkwell, and linen writing paper. “Let’s do this right,” she said. “We’ll decide our priorities and record our decisions.”
“You’ll always be the scholar, won’t you, my dear?” Will laughed. He was pleased by his wife’s enthusiasm for improving their business. Now, after so many years of hardship, maybe they could prosper and put aside money. The war would soon be over, and their future looked better.
“Let’s see,” she said. “A tractor, milking machines, more chickens, new barn paint. What do you think? But first, we’ll expand our herd.”
“It makes sense to me. That’s where we make our living. Maybe we can finally replace those heifers with some quality cows.”
* * *
Will edged through the trees toward Jesse’s shack. He whispered to Fanny Too, tried to get her to signal their coming, but Fanny Too remained quiet. Will supposed that she sensed how anxious he was about this meeting. Could he convince Jesse to take this job, to step into the twentieth century and live like a human? His history with his brother was worse than bleak. Still, he wasn’t about to give up, not now—not with possibilities in hand.
Will supposed that Jesse would be out foraging for food, but when he pounded on the door, to his surprise, he heard footsteps within.
“Who’s there? Private property. Don’t want no visitors.”
“It’s Will.”
The hinges squealed as the door slipped open. It seemed they resented visitors, too.
“Come on in.”
For a moment Will thought he saw a slight smile cross Jesse’s face, but he wasn’t sure, probably just a reaction to the half-eaten parsnip that he held in his hand. “Jess, why don’t you come live with us on the farm? I promise, you’ll get better fare than parsnips.”
“Kinda like it here. I like the solitude and the animals.”
“Why’d you come here, Jess?”
“Went home, but Frank sent me away. Not the first time. I don’t know why I bothered.”
“Bennie told you that I’d moved to the farm?”
“I was surprised you left your booming business and that grand house of yours.”
“Bad years for business. You know that.”
“Grandpa was right?”
“Grandpa—” Will’s fists clenched.
“Hit a sore spot, huh?”
“Why’d you come here anyway?”
“I didn’t plan to stay. Just passing through. Then your girl came by.”
Will’s anger wilted. He sighed and smiled. “Catherine.”
“Got to likin’ that girl. I looked forward to her visits.”
“She misses you now that she’s living in… .”
“You raised a fine girl.”
“What’d you do all those years?”
“I liked Heinzelman’s. Not him so much. It was the side show people. I felt right at home there. I sure hated to lose that job.”
“I met Mildred and Louise. They were sorry Heinzelman let you go.”
“I miss them. Was on my way to look them up, but I stayed here too long.”
“They were fond of you, Jess. They knew you were treated badly.”
“Story of my life. Grandpa blamed me for Grandma’s death.”
“He was a hard man.”
“He was wrong. The wheel came off the buggy. I wasn’t driving fast, no faster than he drove down that lane.”
“You were drinking. That’s all Grandpa needed to know.”
“I didn’t mean to kill Grandma, you know that. It’s been hell ever since. I begged forgiveness. No one listened, not Grandpa or God.”
“You don’t drink anymore?”
“Not since Heinzelman’s. I loved the children. I didn’t want to leave. I miss Mildred and Louise. The only friends I’ve ever had.”
“I’ve tried—”
“You? I expected Grandpa and Frank to hate me, but I thought better of you.”
“I want to help.”
“Every day in that prison camp, I prayed for your ruin. Every time I looked in a mirror, I cursed your cowardice.”
“Jess, let me help now. I’ve talked to a trucker I know. He needs a driver. It’d give you a chance to earn some money, a chance to get on your feet again.”
“I’m doin’ fine. I don’t need your sympathy.” He turned away from Will. “You’d better go now. I’ve work to do.”
Will wasn’t sure whether to embrace his brother or grab him and shake some sense into his head. When he reached out and placed his hand on Jesse’s shoulder, his brother moved away and said, “Goodbye, Will.”
Will sighed, walked out the door, and mounted Fanny Too.
* * *
That night in bed, Will tossed and turned.
“What’s the matter, Will?” Mary said. “What’s bothering you?”
“I’ll never understand why Jess blames me for his troubles. More than anyone, I’ve tried to help. Yet he resents me all the more.”
“God knows you’ve tried.”
“He always turns his back. He hates me for it.”
“It’s human nature, I suppose. Dependency makes a person feel inadequate. I remember the time I broke my leg. Although I depended on it, I wanted to toss that crutch as far away as I could throw it.”
Will slept little that night. He couldn’t get Jesse off his mind. Jesse could exasperate a saint, God knows, but Will wanted to make his brother more comfortable, to bring him back into the family. Sweet Catherine wanted the same. But how could he help Jesse and not be resented for it?