CHAPTER FOUR

LOVE: BINDING THE WORLD TOGETHER

Love is the great connector, bringing separate and unique individuals together to forge bonds that go beyond thought or care or worry. Love is a mystery. Intangible, unquantifiable, it is not of this mundane world. It cannot be touched or tasted, and like cotton candy or snowflakes, it melts away when you try to hold it too tightly. If untended or ignored, love simply disappears, leaving a stain on our psyche but keeping our favorite pair of jeans clean. We can see evidence of love: couples holding hands, smiling, and winking. But if you were to describe the form and shape of love, you would be hard pressed to do so. It is invisible to the naked eye. You might do better in pinpointing the sounds of love. The sighs and moans and sloppy kisses that make up romantic movies and teenage imaginations. But are those really love or simply its manifestations? Can we define love by what we, as humans, do? Is not love greater than us? Is not love transcendent in its possibilities and endless avenues of exploration and adventure? Is not love our own best selves realized and projected back to us through the eyes and breath and beliefs of another?

The Other is imperative in a discussion of love. Certainly, one wants self-love, in a reasonable, restrained, non-narcissistic way. No one wants to be so self-involved and so in love with themself that they refuse to involve others in their tiny sphere of influence in this world. The woman with the red bandana on the bus, the toddler with the bright froggie toy, the lumberjack with flannel shirt, and the receptionist with stiletto heels—all would pass us by without another look if we solely focused on self-love. Looking inward, to our own selves and our own ideals, we would close ourselves off to the experience all around us. Safe in our little controlled universe, we would nurture our love of self and possibly never open up enough to love others. Our heart would remain our own.

The heart is the muscle associated with love. But what is the purpose of the human heart? It is a giant muscle that pumps our blood through our body in order to circulate oxygen to the cells of our tissues and organs. The oxygen feeds the cells, allowing them to stay alive, and they in turn work to keep us alive. The heart, when looked at biologically, is nothing more than an eighteen-wheeler delivering necessary supplies throughout the country of our body. It is a distribution center. Why then, do we equate love with this most vitally important organ in our body? Could it be that love is as necessary to the human condition as the heart is to the health and well-being of the body?

The heart has been used as a symbol in drawings and carvings since the Neolithic era. No direct evidence has been found to fully comprehend what the heart stood for in those ancient times, yet it is significant that such a symbol was in use and would have been recognized by early humans. In ancient Greece, from around 600–400 bce, the heart was associated with the lyre, an instrument of Aphrodite’s son Eros, the god of new-found relationships and sexual desire. When the Romans adopted Eros into their own pantheon, they named him Cupid (the Latin word for desire or lust) and changed his symbol from the simple heart to a heart pierced with an arrow. (The arrow, as a symbol, traditionally indicates energy, flow, and penetration.[1]) Today, this is the symbol we most associate with falling in love. Love has entered our heart and we are forever changed.

One of love’s most abiding qualities is its ability to alter our thoughts and feelings on a grand scale. We may love a partner for years and then break up with him or her, erasing the person from our lives. We no longer eat dinner together, no longer wash his or her clothes or hear his or her whiny voice. We throw away all the gifts and burn all evidence of the relationship. It is over. We are through! But the experience of being in love with another is never erased. It lingers in the dark shadows of the mind, in the recesses of the heart, dormant but still there, waiting for just the right time to re-emerge. Once our heart opens to another, we are linked. We are joined. Even if you never see the other again, you have been changed by the experience and, thus, you and your ex are still a part of each other. You are not the person you were before the relationship. You must forge ahead, learning from each new encounter and reveling in the ambiguity and uncertainty of love. Embrace each relationship’s lustful life, and believe in the best of humanity.

Love is the great human connector, bringing together individual organisms. At its best, love allows you to become greater than you ever imaged, giving you strength and will to accomplish magnificent feats. At its worst, love can be pitilessly cruel and callous, forcing you to gather your inner wisdom and believe in the power of the self. Either way, love is a generator, a mover of emotions and feelings. It creates action, giving birth to the new and unexplained. Love shifts our world, for better or worse, and never leaves us quite the same again. The human experience is about growth and connection. Love gives us both. Is it any wonder, then, that we so yearn for love?

ENERGY RETURN

The consequences of actively seeking love on a magical or spiritual level are many. It is important to speak and act with care and with conscious thought as you request romantic love to enter your life. One slip of the tongue, one hasty action can mar your pure intent and create chaos in your life. Once the gods and goddesses of love are raised, the situation usually runs its course, for good or ill, until the energy settles once again.

It is important to be specific when you are thinking about the love you would like to bring into your life. What kind of love do you want? Do you want a bed-partner only? A companion who will have the same hobbies? A long-term relationship? Truly define your individual needs and wants. Don’t be afraid to describe your ideal love physically, if that’s important to you. If age, money, or location is a factor, let the universe know. Make a list of your ideal love’s qualities and characteristics. Tell the universe your dreams; if you don’t, you never know who’s going to show up on your doorstep.

At the same time, it is not a good idea to name an actual person in your romantic request. This limits the wonderful possibilities that the universe might have in store for you. If you haven’t yet met a person, you won’t that know he or she exists and is the perfect match for you. Such a request forces the universe to focus only on one individual, leaving out all the possibly perfect strangers you have never encountered. Also, and most importantly, naming a person in a love spell or mantra takes away their free will. Their opportunities become as limited as your own. You take away their right to choose their own reality, binding them to your intention and your ideals. This restricts their life and does not allow them to grow as needed. Restriction is never a good way to begin a relationship (unless you’re into bondage and, well, that’s a whole other book!).

Love is one of the most sought-after human experiences. With care and thought, you can supplement your mundane search with some spiritual love aid. Don’t be afraid to request the help and guidance of the Great Goddess. She wants you to be happy! Just be sure to be ethical and conscious in all your love requests and before long you’ll have received one of the greatest gifts from the Goddess—a heart-to-heart connection with another.

MANTRA

Light my fire.

Stoke my desire.

Venus!

Send my love to me.

Venus, even more than her Greek counterpart Aphrodite, embodies the vision of earthly love. In astrology, the planet named after her represents relationships and connection, indicating an interest in the affairs of men and women. (Incidentally, Venus is the only planet in our solar system named after a goddess! All the rest are named for Roman gods.) Modern marketing companies slap her name on products ranging from razors to swimsuits (even a feminine “enhancement” lotion) in an effort to project an air of seduction, beauty, and allure. In 1986, the British all-girl pop band Bananarama rocketed to international success with their hit song “Venus” which was actually a remake of the Dutch rock band Shocking Blue’s number-one hit from 1970. Bananarama replaced the haunting vocals and deep-rooted, grounded guitar stylings of the 1970s with kitchy MTV costumes and a bouncy, synthesized backbeat. But it all worked, as they sang their hearts out to the goddess Venus, just as Frankie Avalon had done more than twenty-five years earlier. His song, also called “Venus” reached the number one spot on Billboard’s Hot 100 in March 1959. A completely different song than the Shocking Blue/Bananarama number, Avalon entreated the goddess to send him a girl to love, with an innocence that epitomized the gently yearning, sweetly charming love songs of the 1950s.

In Republican and Imperial Rome, as now in the modern era, Venus presented various faces of love. In all of them, she was a very accessible and willing goddess. A goddess for the masses, so to speak, and why shouldn’t she be? Everyone desires and deserves love. Even today, she is not usually the subject of scholarly study; rather, she is most generally found in love-addled rantings and thick-voiced poetry. I think Venus prefers it this way: raw, impassioned, unpredictable emotion. The ancient Romans worked very hard to put a civilized and controlled veneer on this unpredictable goddess, and in some ways, they succeeded. But, in others, her nature flies outward, wrapping you in winsome arms and gossamer scarves.

Several temples to Venus were constructed in Rome, none more telling than the Temple of Venus and Roma and the Temple of Venus Genetrix. The Temple of Venus and Roma was built by the Emperor Hadrian and inaugurated in 135 bce. The temple was not completed until 141 bce, having been started twenty years previously in 121 bce. This temple was the largest temple to Venus in ancient Rome and was located to the far east of the Forum Romanum near the Colosseum. It is not by accident that Hadrian linked the goddess of the city of Rome to the goddess of love and beauty. Venus bestowed on Rome an ancient lineage and old power. As the mother of the mythological founder of Rome—the handsome, wise, and ferocious Aeneas of Troy’s ill-fated fame—Venus linked Rome to ancient stories, thus giving them a lineage that belied their pastoral upbringings. In short, Venus brought the Romans respectability in a Mediterranean world run by philosophizing Greeks and war-mongering Carthaginians.

No family better understood Venus’ ability to bestow integrity than the Gens Julia, or the family Julius, whose illustrious members include Julius Caesar and the Emperor Augustine. Julius Caesar created the Temple to Venus Genetrix in 46 bce, nearly one hundred years before Hadrian crafted the Temple to Venus and Roma. As Venus Genetrix, Venus took on the attributes of loving mother and domestic caregiver. She was seen as the mother of Rome, and the Julian family established their authority to rule by claiming direct descent from Aeneas, Venus’ son. In fact, Caesar even established a cult of Venus Genetrix, which focused on her powers in the realms of marriage, motherhood, and domestic life. Eventually, she began to be seen as an all-encompassing goddess, including power over nature as well as her typical role in bestowing love and beauty.

It is not surprising that Caesar assigned a nature element to the goddess Venus Genetrix, as Venus originally was seen as a goddess of gardens, vineyards, and agricultural fertility, as well as human fertility. The patron goddess of Pompeii was Venus Pompeiana, and she was often preserved in small shrines in the gardens of Pompeii. Although it is unknown if she was honored religiously, the Romans thought it best to give her a cursory nod of acknowledgement in relation to their garden pursuits. A vase, found amid the ruins of Pompeii, sums up the Roman attitude toward Venus’ connection to agricultural fertility. It states: “Allow me pure wine: then may Venus who guards the garden love you.”[2]

It is possible that “the garden” in the Pompeian phrase could have more than one meaning. After all, despite her agricultural beginnings and her political uses, Venus is, first and foremost, a goddess of love, including all sexual and non-sexual aspects of the word. Love is a bodily experience. It makes the heart pound and the breath quicken. It resonates with images of interlocked limbs and stolen kisses. Love, by its very nature, brings us out of our heads and into our bodies, into the present moment. It is as much about fertility as it is about sensation. It is an emotion in motion, following the quick-silvered passion of the moment. Love reminds us to feel with every inch of our bodies and express those feelings in words or actions or deeds.

So is it any wonder that Venus is often a mercurial goddess—one moment pleased and smiling, the next damned and defiant? Here is a goddess who had numerous extramarital affairs with gods and humans alike. She was even caught in flagrante delicto with Mars, the god of War. Her husband, the smithy god Vulcan, had suspected the love affair and constructed a net to hold the two lovers, despite their otherworldly qualities. When they did “come together,” Vulcan sprung the trap, catching the lovers in the midst of lovemaking. They could not move or disengage themselves. Vulcan then called in some of the other gods to shame his philandering wife. But it’s difficult to shame someone who is simply following their true nature. Venus went on to have other affairs, namely with the humans Adonis and Anchises, the father of Aeneas.

Venus’ affair with Adonis is fraught with tears, kisses, and feigned death. She is madly in love with him and uses every conceivable method to convince him to love her. However, Adonis is but a child in many versions of the story and so can only think of manly pursuits. The hunt and the chase call to him; love holds no allure. Throughout the encounter, Venus visibly and vocally expresses her emotions. Often holding Adonis down against the ground, using guile and guilt to wring kindness from his hard heart, Venus is not shy to utilize every one of her many attributes, which stem, most noticeably, from the five senses. In William Shakespeare’s epyllion “Venus and Adonis,“ Venus waxes lyrical for four stanzas about the beauty of Adonis as expressed by the five senses. She praises his voice as “ear’s deep-sweet music,“ his smell as “breath perfumed that breedeth love by smelling,“ and his taste as a “banquet.“[3] She says, “Though neither eyes nor ears, to hear nor see, / Yet should I be in love by touching thee.“[4] And throughout the whole poem she waxes lyrical on Adonis’ beauty, even stating that he is “Thrice-fairer than myself,“[5] which is quite a compliment coming from the goddess of beauty and love.

Venus’ power of attraction stems directly from the senses of the body, which bring the human race back to Earth, back to the present, and away from the philosophical mind, which is prone to meanderings on heaven and the future and the future of heaven and the heavenly future and . . . well . . . you get the idea. Venus is about connection. Now. Here. In this world and in this reality. Shakespeare associates her with all elements while in the throes of love. “‘ where am I?‘ quoth she, ‘in Earth or heaven, / Or in the ocean drench’d, or in the fire?‘“[6] And, indeed, Venus encompasses all of the elements that make up our existence. She was born from the foam-flecked sea, burns with the fire of passion, is temperamental as the changeable wind, and gives us the fertility of the soil. Venus is herself a four-in-one spirit, bound together by the variegated qualities of love, by the four elements of our Earth, and by the complexities of our lives. Venus is a complex goddess and I have merely scratched the surface of her truth with this brief introduction to her greatness and power. Still, she is intimately accessible in her greatness. If you would bring love into your life, with all its scope and breadth, Venus is waiting for you to open yourself to her passionate guidance.

Pathway to Venus

For me, nothing is so evocative of Venus as a love poem. Whether ripped from the shattered remnants of love or shining with its eternal promise of hope, love poems transcend the mind to focus on the soft, squishy nether regions of the heart and soul. Raucous and racy, sweet and saucy, or pious and passionate, love poetry speaks to our elemental natures and reminds us that there is more to living beside bills and work and—oh, why bother with that now when there is nectar to nibble upon and a caressing gaze to meet? I could go on and on but, really, Venus would say, “Forget about the explanations! Just jump into it, Girl!“ And she’d be right. So get yourself some sumptuous food (strawberries dipped in chocolate are nice), pick up a good book of love poetry or love stories (style and substance completely up to you), grab your significant other (or go it alone, it doesn’t really matter), and INDULGE! Because that is what makes life worth living!

MANTRA

I am here

And there

And everywhere.

I am love.

Not everyone is going to agree that Caelia is a goddess. She most definitely is an English faerie queen and has been immortalized in two stunning works of art: The Faerie Queen by Edmund Spenser (1590) and Tom a Lincoln by Richard Johnson (1599). In recent times, Caelia has been drawn and designed by faerie artists as diverse and talented as Jessica Galbreth, Selena Fenech, and Paulina Stuckey Cassidy.[7] In the FaerieCraft Spiritual Tradition, founded by English couple Alicen and Neil Geddes-Ward, Caelia is a faerie queen to be remembered and honored. They utilize the faerie queens of legend in much the same way other religions worship and pay homage to the various forms of the masculine and feminine Divine.[8] A faerie queen, in my opinion, is just one more representation of the Divine Feminine in the world around us.

It is no surprise that faeries were so prominent during the time of Shakespeare and during our own period in history. Shakespeare wrote most of his works between the years of 1590 and 1613. This is a time when literary works involving faeries flourished. From Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream (1595/1596) to Edmund Spenser’s A Faerie Queen to lesser known writings such as Nimphidia (1627) by Michael Drayton and Entertainment at Althorpe (1603) by Ben Jonson, faeries were de rigueur in polite society. All of these faerie-centric works were created within twenty (or so) years of the beginning of a new century—a period of time of great change, evolution, and inward seeking.

Despite the fact that centuries are arbitrary markers of time created by our own human minds, they still hold power for us, precisely because we believe in the symbolic ideals and attitudes and the timely constructs they represent. So, while our logical minds scoff at the idea that December 31, 1999, is any different from January 1, 2000, our intuitive, creative, illogical minds are reaching to grasp significance and meaning from the event. In the liminal spaces between centuries, as created by mortal minds, spiritual pursuits creep in and seek to expand. Sometimes these spiritual ideas take the form of faeries, as we saw in Shakespeare’s time and which we are experiencing now in our own shifting time from the twentieth to the twenty-first century.[9]

Today, our society hungers to find meaning in our existence in this world. We are just now “waking up“ to the perils of our planet and to our own power—as individuals, communities, and nations—to create the world of our dreams. And it is no surprise that Caelia has entered our consciousness again, reminding us of the responsibilities of loving others and the necessity of loving ourselves. Caelia, the faerie queen, embodies love in so many ways that it is hard not to listen to her stories without blushing, without seeing our own lives hidden in the triumphs and tragedies of the lovely faerie queen.

Caelia is best known as the lover of the Red Rose Knight, Tom a Lincoln, who was the bastard son of King Arthur. In Tom a Lincoln, the Red Rose Knight travels with his friend Lancelot and sundry other knights of Camelot to find the origins of his paternal parentage. (Obviously, he is unaware that he is Arthur’s bastard son.) On the journey, his boat is buffeted by strong winds and winds up on an isolated island. Grateful to be off the teeming water, the men beach their boats to stand on solid ground. However, they are met by two thousand women warriors, of which two are sent as messengers to the men. They request the men return to their boats and leave the island. The men plead their case, saying they will die if they have to go back onto the ocean waves, and then they ask the female messengers about the then-strange occurrence of an all-female army.

The messengers explain that many years ago in this land, known as Fairy Land, there was a king who lusted for land and constantly warred with his neighbors. Eventually, he had gone to war so many times that he emptied his kingdom of all men, no matter their age, for a final battle. The women, left all alone, bemoaned the fact that they were defenseless and without the company and comfort of their men. They sent a letter requesting the return of their men. The king answered that he would prefer to see the women and children held as captives and given as spoil to his enemies rather than give up his advantageous position, besieging the cities of his enemies.

As you can imagine, the women were incensed by this answer and they concocted their own plan. They killed all the male children that had not marched off to war. Then, when the men returned, festooned with glory, the women slew them in their beds that very night. Not a single male lived through the onslaught except the king, who was put into a boat and sent across the seas to seek his fortune. From that time forward, men were not welcome in Queen Caelia’s Fairy Land. Yet Tom a Lincoln, true to form, has a golden tongue that can charm even the crustiest warrior-maid. He tells the warrior messengers that he and his men will surely die upon the water and they would rather thrust themselves into honorable battle against the female warriors than fight the treacherous sea. However, he hopes that the goodly queen will see the righteousness of his actions and will grant kindness unto him and his men. Queen Caelia does, but only after consulting with her warrior messengers.

When Caelia sees the Red Rose Knight for the first time, she is instantly won over by his courtly ways, courtesy, and nobility. And before too long (as is always the case in fairy tales), Caelia is won over by Tom, has opened her castle and rooms to him, and given a fairy maid to dance attendance for each English knight. She shows Tom her riches and jewels and tells him that all can be his, along with her body, if he will just marry her. Three times, Tom denies the advances of the queen, telling her that he must complete his quest before he can even think about marriage. Three times the love-sick queen is saddened by his reply, as she feels the meeting is fortuitous, an answer to her prayers so that her city can continue to thrive and grow with additional babies.

At this point in the story, Caelia is responding to outside influences of betrayal in a very human, un-goddesslike way. Her father, the king, damned the women of his city to torture, rape, and death at the hands of his enemy rather than come back home and be with them. He betrayed their trust, choosing to care about his dreams of conquest rather than take care of his relationship with family. Caelia and the women responded as spurned lovers, lashing out in anger to hurt their men. Rather than live together, knowing the men cared more about conquest than protecting their loved ones, the women cut the offending men out of their lives forever. I think we have all been in such a sad, angry place before. We shore up our defenses in order to protect ourselves from feeling such pain and betrayal again. When Caelia allows Tom and the knights access to her land, she is beginning the healing process of allowing love back into her life. Tom’s refusal of marriage and kingship still does not dissuade Caelia because she is starting to feel the heady, wondrous effects of love after a long drought.

Caelia now has a choice. Does she return to her strong, fortified, loveless position behind the walls of her heart? Or does she break down those walls and choose to love selflessly, purely, with all her heart? Well, since this is a chapter on love, I think you probably know which choice Caelia made. That night, torn between her fear and her love, between her shame and her heart, “at last the heart was conqueror,“[10] and Caelia embraces the path before her, sneaking into the bedchamber of Tom a Lincoln. And Tom, never one to turn a lady out into a cold night, with “the nature and courage of a man,“[11] passes an extremely amorous evening with the queen of faerie. For the space of four months, the ladies of the faerie court entertain the knights of England, with the result that many of them are heavy with the Englishmen’s seed when the men finally make plans for their departure. Queen Caelia is large of belly with Tom’s child and asks him to stay until the child is born. But Tom cannot be dissuaded from his quest (at least, not any longer) and, having promised to return if he is able, he sails off to find the truth of his father.

Caelia gives birth to a son, known throughout the legends as the faerie knight. She waits and waits for Tom to return to her. But, alas, her story ends sadly, for she spies Tom’s ship in the distance as he returns home to England. His ship is caught in some strange, supernatural windstorm that will not allow him to make his way to the island. Caelia sees him sail by, without so much as a warning signal or flaring torch. After six weeks, Caelia knows, deep in her heart, that Tom will never return. Sad, despairing but not angry, she writes a letter to him in her own blood, rains kisses upon her infant son, and throws herself into the sea, from which she washes up dead next to Tom’s ship. Her letter bemoans Tom’s betrayal and his inability to keep his promise. Despite the pain he has caused her, Caelia still loves Tom and calls herself “thine own true lover,“[12] even unto the end. She could no sooner relinquish her love as she could remove her name. It is a part of her, just as Tom is a part of her, forever connected through their son, the faerie knight.

The ultimate lesson of Caelia, as shown in the literary work Tom a Lincoln, is that love lives beyond our mortal minds and bodies. It is a truth unto its own and should not be hidden from nor embraced without thoughtful consideration. Love involves more than the individual and, as such, should be treated with respect. Once given, love cannot ever be fully retrieved. It may change form and substance (betrayal, anger, fear, despair), but it is an absolute, a linking of spirits that stays throughout all time. It is wonderful and painful and difficult and easy and we as humans long for it, for the connection of beings and souls. It is the ultimate high and the ultimate low. It is, in truth, the only reason for our existence.

Pathway to Caelia

In Caelia’s story, love is really about connection, a melding of spirit and energy to form a brilliant burning star of emotion. Love is the ultimate bond between two human beings (or between a human and a faerie, as in Tom and Caelia’s case) and as such, it exists outside of the tangible here and now. There is nothing more present in time than love. At the same time, love cannot be captured with the hands, seen with the eyes, or heard with the ears. It is intangible and abstract on the material level, while being so very true and real on the emotional and spiritual level. It is a paradox. (How fun!)

To understand and fully get to know the nature of love, take some time to contemplate one of your relationships in which you feel love. This can be a current or past relationship with a lover, a friend, or a blood relative, such as a child or parent. Don’t overanalyze your thoughts and memories of the relationship, just focus on that one person. Take a sheet of plain, white paper and, using colored markers, paints, or crayons, begin to draw your relationship on the paper. Don’t think about it! Just feel! Allow the colors to call out to you, to resonate in swirling dips and ridges, to vibrate in colorful starts and stops. Fill your paper as much or as little as you want. Take your time with the design, feeling your way around the edges so that it truly incorporates your idea of that particular love. Then, when you feel ready, turn the paper over (or attach another sheet) and write yourself a love poem or note about that relationship. Again, don’t overthink it! Just allow the words to flow. They don’t have to make sense, after all, because this is a love note just for you.

When you are finished, carefully fold the drawing and the love note and place them in your journal, scrapbook, Book of Shadows, or photo album. Your association with this relationship can never truly go away; it has become a part of your very self. This love, this relationship, this friendship has forged aspects of your core truth. Honor the you that lives inside that relationship and that survives away from it. For love is not love unless we are given room to breathe on our own, stand on our own, and be on our own, as well.

MANTRA

Enter my womb.

I am ripe for the plucking.

Freyja is the goddess that all women want to be and all men want to bed. She is completely comfortable in her own independence, her own ferociousness, her own sexual power. She does not need anyone but desires everyone, with a shamelessness that would make a stripper blush. Societal rules and regulations, mores, and morals do not apply to Freyja. She is her own lady, bringer of wealth, love, fertility, and death.

Freyja is a member of the Vanir, one of two pantheons that comprise Norse divinity. In general, the Vanir are closely connected to the Earth, to the fertility of the planet and the people and animals who live upon her. The Aesir, the other clan of deities, are similar to sky beings, working with universal and mythic forces that are almost too large for humans to comprehend. Most of the Norse gods and goddesses in the Poetic and Prose Eddas (medieval texts of Norse mythology) are members of the Aesir, but there are a few Vanir deities who hold extreme importance. Among these are Freyja, her twin brother Freyr, and their father Njordh, who live among the Aesir.

Freyja and Freyr are blood relations but they are also divine lovers. Freyja and Freyr unite to ensure the fertility of the Earth, as well as material wealth for all. Freyr is the fertile Earth to Freyja’s energizing presence. He is the seed and she is the sun, warming the soil and coaxing the seed to be reborn. She is the raging fire to his calming earth, the spark that kindles his divinity. Freyja is the wild woman to Freyr’s green man, the life force to his life vessel or container.

Freyja’s powerful life spark is represented by two symbols, one modern, the other from the original sources of Scandinavian and Icelandic mythology. The simple, familiar heart was suggested by Edred Thorsson in A Book of Troth, as a sign of the blessings of Freyja, given to those who undertake her mysteries. The heart is a stylized impression of the female genitals and/or buttocks and indicates the life-giving power of female sexuality. The other symbol is Freyja’s necklace Brisingamen, which she received from four dwarves after a night spent with each one of them. (And you can almost bet that they weren’t playing canasta.)

In the Icelandic saga, The Tale of Hogni and Hedinn, Freyja happens upon four dwarves who are just completing a beautiful necklace. Desiring it above all else, she offers them gold and silver in exchange for the piece of jewelry. They tell her that they have gold and silver a-plenty but they’ll sell her the necklace for four nights of her love. She agrees and after four nights, she leaves the dwarves adorned with her new necklace. The four dwarves are easily recognizable as the four dwarves who support the four directions in Norse mythology; although their names are different, the number indicates a strong correlation between them. As Freyja slept with each in turn, she gained knowledge of each direction and the corresponding four elements that craft our world: earth, air, fire, and water. This wisdom allowed her to embody the essence of life, taking it into herself and claiming it as her own. Freyja’s vast life-giving and revitalizing power is undoubtedly the reason numerous giants try to steal her or coax her into marriage and the reason Loki (the Norse god of cunning and mischief) tries to steal her necklace for Odin. Freyja’s power is stored in her necklace, as well as in her body.

Not satisfied with her brother Freyr and the four dwarves, Norse mythology is rife with stories of Freyja’s sexual escapades. In the Lokasenna of The Poetic Edda, Loki, not invited to an Aesir party, decides to attend anyway and stir up some trouble. He insults each god and goddess in turn. Freyja stands up for Frigg, the wife of Odin, telling Loki that he is “mad“ and pointing out that he has done “ugly, hateful deeds.“ Loki retaliates by pointing out some of Freyja’s deeds, saying:

Be silent, Freyja! for fully I know thee,

Sinless thou art not thyself;

Of the gods and elves who are gathered here,

Each one as thy lover has lain.

Be silent, Freyja! thou foulest witch,

And steeped full sore in sin;

In the arms of thy brother the bright gods caught thee

When Freyja her wind set free.[13]

Obviously, in Loki’s mind, the easiest way to insult Freyja is through her abundant sexuality.

Freyja’s sexual exploits are known even among the Etin-folk or Giants. In The Song of Hyndla of The Poetic Edda, Freyja rides her lover Ottar (now disguised as a boar) to the home of the giantess Hyndla in order to learn some information about his family tree. (I do not doubt that her position on top of Ottar is perfectly crafted to evoke the act of sex.) Hyndla casually calls Ottar the lover of the goddess and then, after realizing she has been duped into relating information about Ottar’s family, the giantess retaliates by demeaning the goddess. Comparing Freyja to Heithrun, the mead-giving nanny-goat of the gods, Hyndla says, “ . . . in the night who runnest ‘ your noble friend ‘ / in her heat as Heithrun the he-goats among.“[14] However, the giantess is not satisfied with this brief description of Freyja as a rutting she-goat. She continues, in even more graphic detail:

Were you ever ready to lie with Oth:

Under your apron still others have crept in the night,

Who runnest ‘ as you noble friend ‘

In her heat as Heithrun the he-goats among.[15]

It is unclear who the giantess refers to by the name of “Oth.“ He may be another of Freyja’s lovers or it may be another name for her husband, Od.

It is hard to imagine a Norse warrior comfortable with a philandering wife, but Od is represented in the Eddas as loving Freyja without end, and the feeling appears to be mutual. When Od leaves Freyja on long travels, Freyja cries tears of red gold and searches for him among the varying cultures on Earth. Little is known of Od other than his role as Freyja’s husband. Od may have been a later addition to the Eddas, in an attempt to “purify“ the goddess and tone down her promiscuity. Since Od has no exploits in the mythology (apart from the leaving of Freyja), he may actually be Odin in disguise. After all, Freyja and Odin share many of the same characteristics and interests, including a rather loose interpretation of wedding and marriage vows.[16]

Freyja is deep and rich and varied, like the very Earth itself. Indeed, she might be the daughter of the earth goddess Nerthus, who is often connected to Freyja’s father, Njordh. As the possible daughter of earth and sea, as the possessor of elemental knowledge, and as the holder of Brisingamen (one of the items of power in Norse mythology), Freyja is far more than a sexy, pleasure-loving goddess. Don’t get me wrong, she loves a good romp in the hay, but Freyja’s energy encompasses the hidden power within the act of love. This hidden power is at the very heart of creation, one of the greatest forces on Earth. Freyja can help us ground in the present moment, in the pleasure all around us, while launching forward into our next endeavor and our next level of personal advancement. She is sensuality in all its many meanings—the taste of a tart strawberry, the sound of the moaning wind, the sight of our lover’s smile. As we ground ourselves in the goodness of our current reality, she then pushes us to expand, to reach for the very apex of climax, and then to harness that energy for our own needs and desires. Love and sex for Freyja are just gateways to the Divine, to our own understanding of the possibilities all around us. Love as power . . . it’s pretty heady stuff!

Pathway to Freyja

The most well-known symbol of the goddess Freyja is her necklace Brisingamen. The medieval texts do not tell us what the necklace looked like, but it is known that the gem amber was highly respected in the Northlands, thought to possess mystical and Divine qualities. (It was also worth quite a bit of money.) Amber was used for specialized items such as beads and pendants for jewelry, gaming pieces, spindle-whorls, and finger rings. Due to amber’s fiery appearance and Freyja’s fiery energy, it is often associated with the goddess. Was Brisingamen made of amber or of gold or both? We cannot know.

Regardless, amber is the gem most associated with the goddess Freyja. It is usually thought to connect to either the second or sacral chakra or the third or solar plexus chakra. After much gemstone work, I feel as though amber resonates with the sacral chakra more than the solar plexus chakra; however, I encourage you to use your intuition and decide for yourself. My personal decision hinges on the fact that the sacral chakra seems to emulate many of the attitudes and ideals expressed by Freyja (who likes her some amber!). The sacral chakra houses our sexual appetites and inhibitions. It is dedicated to the expression of creativity, to the expansion of sexuality, and to the primal pull of the moon and the waves. It is a very feminine energy center that helps us nurture ourselves and others, celebrate our innate sexuality, access our deepest emotions, and receive the blessings and abundance of the universe.[17]

Figure 3: Sacral Chakra

Besides being associated (in my eyes) with the sacral chakra, amber helps with all sorts of physical, mental, and spiritual ailments. Amber purifies the mind, body, and spirit when it is worn and cleanses any space when it is burned. It can sharpen the mind, assisting in making decisions and in retaining memory. It is a calming stone that can aid in balancing male and female energies. With this in mind, it is often used in the renewal and keeping of marriage vows. Amber helps us when dealing with abuse, negativity, or emotional blockages. It assists the body in letting go of the past and creating anew. Physically, it will strengthen the thyroid, inner ear, and neurological tissue.[18]

So, taking in all the wonderful qualities of amber and its connection to the sacral chakra, what better way to connect with Freyja than through a necklace of amber? Amber can be expensive but you can choose to craft your own amber “Brisingamen“ with a few choice amber pieces, accented with jet or silver beads. (Jet is another stone found at the gravesites of ancient Norse peoples.) Or you can purchase an amber pendant and dedicate it to the goddess Freyja and all she represents. Since the heart is a symbol associated with Freyja, you might consider getting a heart-shaped pendant. Once you have made or purchased your “new Brisingamen,“ light some amber incense and run the necklace through the smoke. You can also dab some amber oil on the necklace or pendant. While you do this, think about Freyja and all the attributes of the sacral chakra and the gemstone amber. If you have some specific aspect of love you’d like to work on, state that out loud. If not, simply state your intention to connect with Freyja.

RITUAL FOR LOVE:
ALLOWING LOVE TO ENTER

Suggested Ritual Days

February 13–15: Lupercalia, a fertility festival, as celebrated in Ancient Rome

February 14: Valentine’s Day, as celebrated in the United States

May 1: Global Love Day, as proclaimed by The Love Foundation, whose motto is “Love Begins With Me“

June 12: Dia dos Namorados (Day of the Enamored/Day of Boyfriends and Girlfriends), as celebrated in Brazil

September 20: Dia del Amor y la Amistad (Day of Love and Friendship), as celebrated in Colombia

Any Friday: Friday is “Freyja’s day“

Items needed

heart-shaped, rose-scented floating candle

a lighter

heart-shaped pendant or token

bowl of water

This ritual gives you the ability to open up to love. Whether asking for that “special someone“ to enter your life or wishing to reconnect with the idea and passion of love itself, this ritual seeks to send your desire for love into the universe, where it will be heard and made manifest. Think of this ritual as a re-dedication to the art of love. You are remembering the power of love to bring pleasure and satisfaction and depth into your life.

Once you have collected all of your items, choose a Friday when you feel relaxed, peaceful, and happy. If this is an impossibility due to your everyday stresses, do this ritual on the next Friday that you have available! You really need this time to connect with love! Now!

Gather your items in a place that is warm and relatively secluded. Outside, amid the trees or by a stream or on the beach would be perfect, but if the weather is inclement, perform the ritual in a room that is free of daily hustle-bustle. You could try your bedroom or meditation room. Take some deep cleansing breaths and focus only on your breath. Feel the breath moving into your body and then, as you exhale, out of your body. Concentrate only on the breath. If you find this difficult, you can try thinking “breathe in“ on the inhale and “breathe out“ on the exhale.

As you do this, you will find that your mind tries to wander away from the breathing. Gently nudge it back to the breath and away from everyday concerns, worries, and plans. This exercise is meant to bring you into the present and into your body, aligning the body with the mind. (This is known in some Buddhist practices as “mindful breathing.“ You can learn about mindfulness as a spiritual practice in the writings of Thich Nhat Hanh.)

Once you feel your mind and body shift and come together, place the candle in the bowl of water and light it. Continue breathing mindfully, taking in the aroma of the candle. With the breath in mind, begin to “take in“ positive thoughts about love and breathe out negative concepts. You may, for instance, breathe in warmth and breathe out jealousy; breathe in laughter and breathe out anger. You can do this for as long as you want, individualizing the practice to coincide with your particular experience with love. You may actually breathe in and breathe out particular deeds that occurred during various loves in your life. You should take care, however, not to breathe in the essence of another individual. This ritual is for you and you alone. Be sure to breathe only experiences and sensations that were and are completely yours.

After breathing for some time, dip the heart-shaped pendant or token into the bowl of water. While holding on to the pendant or token, continue breathing with love in mind, breathing in the positive and breathing out the negative. When you feel ready, take the pendant or token out of the water and place it on your body—around your neck, in your shoe, around your wrist, or in your pocket. Know that the pendant is a physical reminder of your ability to connect to the idea of love and that by wearing it, you are a part of love itself. You radiate love.

You can repeat this ritual as often as you would like, recharging your pendant or token with the power of love. Often, you will be able to recall the benefits of love through the practice of mindful breathing, which can be done at any time and in any place.

[1]. Symbols.com, “Symbol 20:18, the Heart Symbol.“

[2]. Johnson, “Venus in Pompeian Gardens.“

[3]. Shakespeare, “Venus and Adonis,“ stanzas 71‚Äì74.

[4]. Ibid., stanza 72.

[5]. Ibid., stanza 2.

[6]. Ibid., stanza 82.

[7]. The websites for these artists are: Jessica Galbreth: http://www.enchanted-art.com; Selena Fenech: http://www.selinafenech.com; and Paulina Stuckey Cassidy: http://www.paulina.ws.

[8]. Geddes-Ward and Geddes-Ward, Faeriecraft, chapter 5, 101.

[9]. In the shift to the eighteenth century, we have the Salem witch trials as well as the publication of Charles Perrault’s book of fairy tales, entitled Tales of Times Past. In the shift to the nineteenth century, one saw the rise of Spiritualism, in the form of s√©ances, medium circles, and the Theosophical Society.

[10]. Johnson, Tom a Lincoln, chapter 4.

[11]. Ibid.

[12]. Ibid.

[13]. Bellows, The Poetic Edda, 161–162, verses 30 and 32.

[14]. Auden and Taylor, Norse Poems, “The Lay of Hyndla,“ verse. 30.

[15]. Ibid., verse 31.

[16]. Much of the story of Freyja first appeared in Goddess Alive!, 76–80. For more information and intimate workings with Freyja, Norse Goddess of Passion and Sex, including a guided meditation and ritual, please see chapter 5 of Goddess Alive!

[17]. Simpson, The Book of Chakra Healing, 49.

[18]. Permutt, The Crystal Healer, 42; and Meplon, “Amber.“