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Fifty-Five

It had been a long ten days. If only people could be their authentic selves instead of hiding behind lies, secrets, and false identities. All Madison wanted was to go home, hug her fiancé—now, that had a nice ring to it—and fall into bed. And with her mind on ring, she lifted her left hand. She couldn’t wait until their engagement was truly official.

She stepped through the door just after midnight. She’d taken a cab from the station and cursed the entire way home about how slow the driver was going. She tried to tell him if he got pulled over, she’d make the ticket disappear, but he wasn’t having any of it. Probably a good thing, since she didn’t really have that authority.

The house smelled like vanilla, and candles flickered throughout the living room.

The TV was on at a low volume. Hershey lifted his head and padded over to greet her. He barked, and Troy stirred on the couch but didn’t get up. He must be asleep.

She grabbed a throw from a chair and started to drape it over him. He reached up and snatched her wrist. It scared the crap out of her, and she squealed.

“Sorry.” Troy laughed. “I didn’t mean to…” He shuffled into a seated position. “Do you like the ambiance?”

“I might be a little tired to truly appreciate it, but, yes, it’s nice.” She sank onto the couch beside him. “What’s the occasion?”

He got onto one knee in front of her. “There’s something I should have done a long time ago.”

She winced. “If this is a proposal, you’re too late. I’m already spoken for.”

“Just let me do my thing.”

She smiled, held up her hands, and said, “Sorry, go ahead.”

He reached into a back pocket and came out with the ring box. “I just want to be clear on something.”

“Oh yeah? And what’s that?”

“I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?” He opened the box, and tears sprang to her eyes.

“Yes, I’ll marry you.”

He slipped the diamond ring on her finger and leaned over to kiss her, sealing the deal and making it official. She was ready to tell the world. But it was after midnight…

“I would have enjoyed seeing your expression when you first saw your ring, but do you love it?”

“I do, but not as much as I love you.”

She let him lead her to their bedroom where they made love, and time seemed to stand still. They fell asleep in each other’s arms, and she enjoyed blissful dreams only to wake with intense cramping.

She slipped out of bed, careful not to wake Troy. The alarm told her it was five thirty in the morning.

She padded down the hall toward the bathroom. She had to stop twice as cramps stole her breath. Once she made it to the bathroom, she pulled down her underwear and screamed out, “Troy!”

The emergency room doctor came to the end of her bed. He didn’t have to say a word as his face said it all, but he put it out loud anyway. “I’m sorry to inform you that you’ve lost your baby.”

Madison cried, the sobs taking over of their own accord. She’d bucked against the idea of being a mother most of the pregnancy. Had she willed it from her womb? Was this her fault? She’d only started to truly accept that she was going to have a baby in the past twenty-four hours. It was because of Troy. Whenever she was with him, she felt confident enough to take on this new chapter in life. Somehow, she felt she’d be able to adjust, still make her job work.

Troy was squeezing her hand and kneading it, and rubbing her shoulders, his arm around her. “I’m sorry, baby.”

She couldn’t bring herself to speak. She was such a jumble of emotions. She hated that among them was also relief. Her life would mostly go back to the way it was—other than being engaged—but this wasn’t how she ever would have wanted things to play out. She was angry. “I was in an accident earlier in the week.” She paused, sniffled. “The doctor said the baby was fine afterward. Could it have been due to that? Did the accident hurt the baby?”

“There’s no absolute way of knowing,” the doctor said. “But sometimes these things happen, and there’s no way of knowing why.”

Had she stressed the baby with her refusal to rest? She should have just stayed home and watched TV. “Is it because I didn’t stay in bed? I mean I didn’t do anything…” But she had. She’d tracked down leads, orchestrated efforts to get corrupt cops off the street and to identify the mystery woman, and faced off with a killer. “Could stress have done this?”

“It’s possible, but very, very unlikely. Sadly, many women lose their first baby. I’m sorry I don’t have better news, and I’m truly sorry for your loss.”

The doctor left the room, and she was numb. Troy was balling his hands into fists and then unfurling them.

“I’m so sorry.” She swallowed roughly, and he stared in her eyes. “If you want to call off the engagement, I’ll understand.”

“Madison, when are you ever going to get it through your thick, stubborn-ass skull that I love you? I want to be neck-deep in your trouble. Besides, if I was going to propose because of Peanut, I would have done that at the hospital when we first found out.”

“Peanut, huh?” She recalled thinking of the baby that way too. A fresh batch of tears came. Maybe her becoming a mother wasn’t too far out there, but it was several years away.

“You’re angry,” she said, stating the obvious. His neck was red, and he was still making fists.

“Damn right, I’m angry, and I’m going to—” He started off toward the door. She jumped from the bed and snagged his arm. “Madison, let me go.” His nostrils were flaring.

“No.”

“Just let me—”

“No,” she repeated with more force. “We’re in this together. Remember? That’s what you told me.”

He held her gaze, then pulled her to him and hugged her tight. He wasn’t crying outright, but she was quite sure he was in his heart. And for that alone—her own grief aside—the Mafia would pay dearly, and so would every corrupt cop in the city of Stiles.