Chapter 49

 

TRAPPED IN THE memory.

Frei tried to stop herself from walking away from Doctor Stosur. She tried to force her body to turn around and beg her for her help but she couldn’t. She was stuck following her original path, her mistakes. So many mistakes—breaking the lock on the first car she found instead of finding a faster model; not taking a weapon; not using the skill, the training, the wisdom that Doctor Stosur had imparted.

She sat there, helpless, as the younger her powered through a red light. Her stomach spasmed as she watched the blue lights flash in the mirror. A rookie mistake, a dumb mistake.

The police car hit the back of hers and she swerved. Her ability at driving was nowhere near her flying, so she did the wrong thing, the car swung around, flipped, and rolled. Each crushing bang and bump rattled through her as the car skidded down the banking.

Not something a normal cop would do.

None of that registered. Not even when she smashed her way out of the back window with her feet, before the water sucked it under; not even when she waded through the dark ice cold river with the bag over her head. She’d clambered up the other side. The police officer pulled up and got out with no haste, drew her gun with no real intent and fired in her general direction.

Each shot had fueled her panic back then, strangled her ability to be rational.

The police officer, a woman, followed her at distance. All the while she fled through marshy fields, through grass and brambles.

The headlights in the distance, following.

Frei found a farm, a beat-up SUV, and crawled in. She’d been concussed at the least, which she knew now but back then her only thought had been to get to her sister, to Suz.

Doctor Stosur had told her to use her head, that she needed to be clear, formulated but she’d lost all ability to think. Every movement, every decision was spurred on by fear and panic.

The cruiser had followed.

Wisdom, experience, logic would have warned her that police officers called in support. They never hung back. Experience screamed that she was driving into a trap and all she could do was look on helpless.

Doctor Stosur had tried warning her, tried training her but even knowing all Frei had back then, she’d still been a kid. A dumb sixteen-year-old kid, too naïve to connect the dots.

The fuel gauge dropped unnoticed. 

Frei felt her tears flow, unable to warn herself, unable to stop it repeating. She’d been so alone. She touched her hand to her cheek, stared down at the tears.

They glistened.

Aeron healed herself in water. She could still feel the first time Renee hugged her, the joy of someone just wanting to show her affection. She could hear Aeron and Renee bickering, laughing; Aeron gripping her in a bear hug.

The memory disappeared. 

She blinked open her eyes. Turned to see Jessie hunched at the wheel. She wore the same harried expression, the same glances at something in the rearview mirror.

Frei didn’t have enough energy to speak. Her body was so tired. She wouldn’t know how to calm Jessie anyway.

Instead she reached across and squeezed her shoulder. Jessie gave her the same confused expression. The one Frei had given Doctor Stosur on that chopper ride from Caprock.

Just like back then, just like her memories, the fuel gauge bled away, its needle lowering.