Chapter 78

 

RENEE TOOK A long shuddering breath as she approached Abby. This wasn’t going to be pleasant.

“Your hair looks nice,” she mumbled. Not a great starting point. “You’ve changed the color.”

“More to cover the gray. Kids will do that to you.” Her grumpy tone added extra punch to the “I got married and had children” taunt.

“Wouldn’t know.” She glanced back at the boathouse. Part of her wondered why she was bothering. What was the point? Abby had moved on in record time anyway.

“You could have.” Abby sat on a tuft of grass on a plastic bag she’d dug out from somewhere. She didn’t do dirt. Renee plonked herself down not caring. She was covered head to toe in she didn’t like to think what.

“You must have a short memory. I don’t have that capacity.” Her tone was as snappy as Abby’s.

Abby turned and glared at her. “My memory?” Her nostrils flared like they always did when she was angry. Renee hadn’t missed that delightful detail. “I remember being engaged to a woman who left and never came home.”

“Was that before or after you got pregnant?” Renee’s temper fizzed and she shut her eyes. It wasn’t going to calm the situation. Calm. Somehow, she needed to find it. She held up her hand to stop Abby’s retort. “I’m sorry I had to keep it from you. I did it for the best.”

“I know you did. I read the file.” Abby stared at her nails. “You should have been medically retired.”

“Yes.”

“Why weren’t you?” Abby sounded more concerned, more worried now. It was better than anger but just made Renee feel guiltier.

“I can still do my job.” Renee kept her tone as level as she could even though it prickled at her. “I’m good at my job.”

“I never said that you weren’t.” Abby shook her head. “You have no peripheral vision, not to mention the damage to your legs and back.”

“I’m better now.” How did she explain it? Before Aeron had helped her, before Sam had run her off the road, she’d been in agony with her back and legs. Walking was painful, anything more was excruciating but she got on with it. Then when Aeron had helped her after Yannick in Saint Jude’s, she’d fixed everything else too. Not something a logical woman like Abby would ever understand.

“So you’re telling me you can defy medical science?” Her tone was more IA than ex-fiancé and Renee tilted her chin.

“I’m telling you that I’m fit for duty. If you want me to prove it with a fitness test, Agent Fleming, feel free.” The inner soldier came out without her meaning for it to but she puffed out her chest anyway. She was a soldier, like her father, and she was proud of it.

“I wouldn’t do that to you.” Abby shook her head. “You’ve changed.”

Had she? Maybe but Abby hadn’t known her. “So have you.”

“If you’d talked to me, if you’d let me in, I would have been there for you. Martin or not, I wouldn’t have left.” The unsaid words “and wrecked her career” drifted through the silence.

“It wouldn’t have been possible then. The rules were different then.” Renee sighed. Abby didn’t—and couldn’t—realize that Renee meant the military. She’d told Aeron that Abby had met her mother but really what she’d seen was yet another front. Her mother knew how to act, what to say, she’d been doing exactly that since she married Renee’s father. All show, little truth, not even the right birthday.

“I loved you. That would have counted out everything else.” Abby sighed and stared down at the glimmering ring on her finger.

“Instead of wondering where I am every time I leave, wondering if I am okay, wondering what scars I’ll bring home, you have someone who’s there.” It was strange how much at peace she was with that. Yes, she’d loved Abby but it was nothing compared to how she loved Aeron. “Someone who deserves your full heart.”

Abby blinked a few times, unshed tears glimmered in the moonlight. “You think I haven’t tried?”

“I think . . .” She tried to be as gentle as she could. “I think that you need to talk to him, honestly.” As if she was always honest with the people she loved. “I think, you need to give him a chance and let the ghosts go.”

“You’re a hard woman to live up to.” Abby smiled, tears filling her eyes.

“He doesn’t have to live up to me, Abby. He’s a good man who adores you.” Renee did know that much. She’d checked him out. His father, she had her reservations about and it wasn’t lost on her who he was. “I’m just some dumb agent you knew way back when. He’s your husband, he’s why you have your children, he’s home.”

Abby sighed. “You sound a lot more forgiving than me.”

“I’ve had a lot of incredible people who have forgiven me first. It makes it easier.” And it did. In fact, it seemed to release a huge weight off her shoulders.

“If you’re having a relationship with her, that will see you disciplined at the very least.” Abby’s tone was soft but the worry seeped through. “You don’t hide it well enough.”

Renee cocked her head. “With who?”

“Who else have you always gone running after?” Abby shook her head. “The whole pretense of you dragging that kid across half the country to get her aunt some kittens?” She snorted. “Seriously? Why else would you go to all that trouble to spend your vacation with someone you’ve been in the pocket of for years?”

Renee clamped her mouth shut. Abby was the second person who’d thought Frei and her were in love with each other. What was with that?

“I’m not having a relationship with Ursula.” She held in her smile. “But thank you, even if you just accused her of abusing her position.”

Abby scowled. “I know that all this,” she motioned to the boathouse, “was no training exercise, no vacation, and for someone supposed to be half-drunk, you smell of nothing but the foul muck in that river.”

Renee sniffed at herself. It was a bit pungent. “Maybe we just have a different way of enjoying ourselves?”

Abby’s mood glinted through her eyes. “So that’s all I get. You promised to marry me and I don’t even get a reason.” She got to her feet, brushing herself off. “You flew a plane even with the sight problems you have, cover your tracks, rob a drug store, get involved in an incident in some warehouse.” She flicked a piece of dirt off her shoulder. “Not to mention that judge . . . for what, Renee?”

“I’m perfectly fine to fly, like I said, I’m fit again. I have no idea what you’re talking about otherwise. We drove to Cincinnati and flew over to get Aunt Bess some kittens.” She shrugged. “Ursula was around, so we thought we’d surprise her.”

“By drowning her?” Abby didn’t believe a word of it, no matter what Renee said, no matter how she put it, Abby didn’t want to believe it.

“Ursula is Ursula. That meant when we surprised her, she decided to punish us by running through exercises.” Renee shrugged. “You know how competitive we get.”

“No, I don’t. I know you don’t even like getting muddy.” Fleming flicked her gaze over her with a look of utter disgust. “The Renee I knew wouldn’t be seen in such a state, let alone drinking beer in a boathouse.”

Renee stared up at her. “The Renee you knew never came home.”

“So I see.” Abby picked up her handbag and stormed past.

Renee didn’t bother to look back. She ran her gaze over her clothes. Soggy, muddy, stinking, her short nails black from some kind of tar-like substance, her hair thick with goodness knows what. Her jeans were ripped, her shirt was skewed. She had grazes over her arms, a chin that felt like a football and somewhere back in the boathouse was her assault rifle.

No, she wasn’t the woman Abby had known. She was the real Renee. She grinned. It felt good.