Carmen bought them each a slice of pizza at the crew cafeteria; then she led him back to her cabin, where she cued up more Brazilian music on her laptop and kicked off her heels. “First off,” she said, “you remember how I made up rules for us, right?”
He did.
She pulled out the desk chair and pointed for Shy to sit. “Well, the second one is this: no more of your cheesy hand-holding tests.” She sat on the side of her cot, as far away from Shy’s chair as possible. “Especially in my room. The only reason you’re in here right now is so we can talk about your nephew. Got it?”
“Got it,” Shy said, taking a bite of his slice. He felt guilty, though, like she might think he was using Miguel’s condition to get close to her. But that’s not how it was.
He pointed at her laptop, said: “Mind if I check my email real quick?”
“Go ’head.”
Shy logged on. His in-box was still empty, though, so he logged right back off.
“Nothing?” Carmen said.
Shy shook his head and sat back in the chair, picked up what was left of his slice. As they ate, Shy noticed that the ship was a little calmer now. “You think we’re past the bad part of the storm?”
Carmen shrugged. “It’s definitely not thrashing around as much.” She wadded up her paper plate, adding: “You were right about this wristband, by the way. I can’t believe I was able to eat something.”
“Maybe Shoeshine’s a genius,” Shy said.
Carmen laughed a little. “I don’t know about that. But he’s definitely mysterious. One time I saw him shooting a damn bow and arrow off the back of the ship. Middle of the night.”
Shy decided “mysterious” was the right word. “I saw a bunch of books in his bag earlier. I think one of them had to do with science or something. Where’s he even from, anyway?”
Carmen shrugged. “Vlad from security said he spent half his life in prison for a crime he didn’t commit. This girl Jessica who works in the spa said he was never in jail, he worked on a cattle ranch. Someone else told me he used to be homeless.” Carmen shook her head. “Who knows, right? You can’t trust none of these fools.”
She got up and lowered the music some. “Anyways, I want you to back up and tell me everything about your nephew.”
Shy threw away his plate, too, and sat back down.
He told her how his mom and sis had taken Miguel in as soon as the whites of his eyes turned pink, and how the doctors diagnosed him with Romero Disease on the spot and got him on meds. He told her how expensive everything was going to be because his sister didn’t have insurance, how he told his mom to cash the bond he won at a halftime shooting contest and how there was a selfish part of him that was actually stressed about losing the money, and he hated that part of himself.
Carmen shook her head and said how sorry she was, and then she told him more about the news program she’d been watching when he walked in. “I guess they’re doing all this research now and coming up with treatments. Did you know they found out it can spread through water? Or how about that you have to get on those meds within twenty-four hours or you’re done.”
“That’s what my mom told me.”
“When it was just in our neighborhoods they didn’t research shit.”
Shy shook his head. He was starting to understand that some people’s lives mattered more than others. Back home, that thought never would’ve crossed his mind. But working on a cruise ship made him notice things.
“When I win the lottery,” Carmen said, “I’m gonna build state-of-the-art hospitals, all along the border. So future kids like us won’t have to know what it feels like to lose family for stupid reasons.”
“You could name ’em after your dad,” Shy told her.
“And your grandma,” Carmen said. “But not your nephew. ’Cause that medicine’s gonna make him better.”
“Man, I hope you’re right,” Shy said.
It went quiet between them for a few seconds, and Shy thought of something. He’d give back every single second of him hooking up with Carmen last night, as long as he knew they’d keep being friends after the voyage ended. She was way more than just some girl you messed around with.
“Anyways,” Carmen said, standing up. “I’m gonna change into sweats. You can stay if you wanna keep checking your email or whatever.”
“If it’s cool,” Shy said. “Just kick me out whenever you’re ready to crash.”
Carmen went to her dresser, pulled a pair of sweats and a sweatshirt and her toiletry bag. On her way to the bathroom she stopped and patted Shy on the shoulder. “Sorry you have to deal with this disease again,” she said. “It’s bad enough when it’s an adult. But a little kid?”
He locked eyes with her and nodded.
She took her clothes into the bathroom, and Shy just sat there staring at the door as she pulled it closed behind her. He felt nervous being in her room this long. He honestly wanted to respect her whole fiancé situation. But at the same time, he didn’t want to rush off either. Talking to Carmen was making him feel way better.
He got up and went back to her laptop. Checked his email. Nothing.
His thoughts drifted back to the man in the suit as he browsed through Carmen’s music on iTunes. Maybe he should have stayed longer, heard everything the guy had to say. But then he’d started tossing out threats—Shy hadn’t even done anything wrong. That’s when he’d had enough. Hopefully Franco would be able to explain everything in the morning.
Carmen had a ton of world mixes. Some angry chick stuff. Finally he stumbled into some hip-hop he dug and put it on and the beat filled the tiny cabin.
Carmen cracked open the bathroom door and mumbled over her buzzing toothbrush: “I know you didn’t just mess with my music, Sancho.”
“Just switching it up for a sec,” Shy said.
Through the crack in the door, he saw her rinse out her mouth, then tap her electric toothbrush against the miniature sink. “Why do you settle for generic American hip-hop?” she called out over her shoulder as she took out her contacts.
“It’s your music,” he said.
“Brazilian beats are way more raw,” she said.
“I don’t even know what they’re saying, though.” He went back to scanning through her library.
“It’s not about the words, Shy. It’s about the feel.”
When he looked toward the bathroom again, he saw her slipping out of her long black dress, and he froze.
His mouth fell open.
He knew he shouldn’t be seeing what he was seeing, but he couldn’t tear his eyes away. Her skin was perfectly brown and soft-looking and she was spilling out of her bra, and she had on a black thong that was barely any material, and all over she was thick except her slim waist and stomach, and she had a tattoo just beneath her belly button, words written in script, too small to make out, and for the first time in Shy’s life a girl was making his heart pound so hard inside his chest he wondered if he was having a heart attack and he wondered if this was how love felt.
Their eyes met in the mirror for a fraction of a second. He quickly cut away and stared back at her computer. He heard the door click shut.
Shy didn’t move for a while.
He just stared at her computer screen and concentrated on the feel of his breaths going in and out of his lungs.
It definitely wasn’t the time to be checking out Carmen. Not when she was being so nice to him. And so supportive about his nephew. If she wanted to be just friends, then he did, too.
But damn.
That perfect sliver he’d just seen of her body.
He couldn’t get it out of his head. Couldn’t stop imagining himself getting up and going to the bathroom door and knocking, her letting him in.
He had to leave.
Now.
Shy stood up and started toward the cabin door, but just then Carmen came out of the bathroom.
She had on a Chargers shirt and a pair of Adidas sweatpants, and they both started talking at the same time:
“Listen—”
“Here’s the deal, Shy—”
They looked at each other.
“I just wanna say—”
“Last night—”
Carmen put a finger to her lips, said: “Let me get this out first, then I’ll listen to whatever you have to say, okay?”
“Okay.” Shy’s heart wouldn’t stop pounding.
“I’ve been thinking a lot about last night,” Carmen started. “About why I did what I did. And I’m gonna be honest with you, Shy. There’s maybe a few little feelings on my side.” She took a deep breath and shook her head, went and sat on the edge of her cot.
Shy stayed by the door.
“I mean, you’re definitely a little corny. And you go to the dumb high school back home. But still. You’re from the neighborhood, you know? We get each other without any words. And it’s not like you’re hard to look at.” She paused for a few seconds. “What I’m trying to say is, you got a little something, all right? But I made a commitment to Brett. I’m getting married in a few months. Jesus, I’m getting married.”
“I wanna respect that, Carm.”
“I know you do. But maybe it’s not just you I’m worried about. I don’t even know what I’m doing.”
Shy didn’t know how to respond to that so he just stood there, waiting for her to talk again.
“Sometimes…I don’t even know, Shy. I got all this doubt going through my head. Like, am I messing up here? Am I doing this for the right reasons?”
Shy shoved his hands into his pockets, said: “Everyone probably has those thoughts.”
Carmen looked up at him. “That’s what my mom says. But I don’t know.”
It was super awkward now, and Shy decided he should break the tension somehow. He forced a little grin and told her: “Man, it’s just too bad your guy doesn’t have a cooler name. ‘Brett’ sounds kind of soft, don’t you think?”
“Oh, ’cause ‘Shy’ is so gangster,” Carmen fired back.
They both smiled and Carmen said: “Come give me a friendship hug, all right? Then I’m kicking your ass out of here so I can go to sleep.”
Shy was just starting to move toward Carmen’s open arms when the ship jerked violently.
They stared at each other, neither saying a word.
Heavy footfalls shook the ceiling above them.
Doors opened and closed in the halls.
“Shy?” Carmen said.
He opened his mouth to answer, but before he could get any words out there was an explosion of deafening sound. They both covered their ears and stared at each other, Carmen’s face filling with worry.
The ship alarm.
Shy threw open the cabin door and looked down the hall. Other doors were opening, people gathering in groups, looking at one another, confused. Shy spotted the man in the black suit, Bill, hurrying away from Carmen’s cabin. Like he’d been listening to their conversation through the door. But why? That seemed as bad as breaking into his cabin.
Shy refocused his attention on the alarm and the panic rising in the hall. Maybe the ship had reached the eye of the storm. Or maybe it hit something or there was a fire in the engine room or pirates had stormed the captain’s quarters.
He saw Carmen rush over to her tiny porthole and look outside. “I can’t see anything!” she shouted, turning back to him. “Can you see anything?”
Shy hurried to her side, but all he saw was a thick blur of rain and choppy waves crashing into each other.
No fire.
No smoke.
No other ships.
The alarm continued as they hurried back to the door, ducked out into the hall. More crew members now gathered there, everyone looking around and shouting over the earsplitting sound. Shy’s throat tightening, his eyes darting every which way.
Then the alarm cut off.
Just as abruptly as it had started.
The ship emcee’s voice came over the loudspeaker:
“Ladies and gentlemen, this is an emergency. All passengers and crew members should secure a life jacket from the closet of your cabin and proceed directly to the appropriate muster station. I repeat, all passengers and crew members must secure a life jacket and proceed directly to their muster station.”
Shy and Carmen turned to each other.
He saw in her terrified eyes that this was something serious, and he knew immediately his life would be forever changed.