Shaylee
I missed Aden more than I expected to, especially when his trip took a week, instead of a few days. I worked with Laila during the day, keeping my mind occupied. I spent an evening with my grandparents and another, having a girl’s night with Laila and Hayleigh. But, when the time with them was done, I went back to our apartment and lied down in our big, cold bed, wrapping myself around his pillow, breathing in his scent. I’d finally gotten a cell phone and I looked longingly at it, wishing I could reach Aden on it. Instead, I’d pull out my e-reader and wait for my eyes to grow heavy.
I’ve lost the light. I feel as though I’ll never find it again, like it’s beyond my grasp. The darkness is pressing on me, smothering me, and I’m struggling to breathe. I open my mouth wide, trying to gasp for oxygen and flail my arms in an attempt to dislodge the source of evil suffocating me. My heart is pounding so hard, struggling for every beat. Is this it, then? Will I be swallowed by the darkness?
My limbs begin to feel so heavy and I stop fighting the inevitable. At least I’m wrapped in Aden’s scent; I can take a little part of him with me as I succumb to the oblivion I’m hovering over. I think I hear whispers, soft phrases floating into my delirium. “You let him touch you.” Who? “You should have been mine.” I don’t understand! “He can’t have you.” Who are you? My mind is screaming, railing at the darkness, determined to know why it wants me.
Finally, I resort to begging through my gasps of what little air I can catch. The tears aren’t helping, they are clogging my throat and the blackness is edging into my consciousness. I try to ask why, to beg for my life, to find the light once again.
Suddenly, the thick darkness becomes a little less heavy. Each attempt to breath results in a gush of air filling my lungs. I feel a cool brush of something down my cheek, almost like a caress, wiping at the tears that are falling from my eyes.
I heave a huge gasp as I sit up in the bed, clawing at my shirt, pulling away anything that could impede oxygen from getting to my lungs. The tears that had obviously started in my dreams have morphed into gigantic sobs that shudder through my body. How could a dream be so real? I look down and see Aden’s pillow resting on my lap. I pick it up, ready to hold it close to me for comfort, but a feeling of terror washes over me and I hurl it across the room.
Jumping out of the bed, I stumble to the bathroom and reach for the light switch just inside the door. Before I find it, I freeze. My brain is ordering me to turn on the light, but I feel a pull in the shadows and the fear of illuminating what’s there grips me tight. Ripping my senses away, I rush into the bathroom, slam the door behind me and turn on the light.
When I turn to the mirror, I’m shocked at how haggard I look. My skin, though flushed with fear, has a blue pallor to it. My eyes are pale and lackluster, with only horror to see in their depths. Though my sobs have subsided, the tears continue to pour silently and I wrap my arms around me, backing away from the person in the mirror. No longer able to look at myself, I turn and lean against the wall, still feeling dizzy and out of breath. I shuffle forward, turn on the shower and as I’m waiting for the water to heat up, my eyes drift to the door. I pad over to it and silently turn the lock. A small bit of relief trickles through me and I hurry to get undressed and step under the heated water, hoping it will wash away the rest of my anxiety.
After some time in the shower, my breathing has mostly returned to normal, though I still feel a slight burn with every breath. My muscles have started to relax and exhaustion is quickly overcoming me. When I feel like I can no longer stand, I step out of the shower and wrap myself in a big towel, before collapsing on the floor, my back resting against the tub. I stare at the door and wonder if there is any light yet, since I have no idea what time it is. I’ve never been afraid of the dark. But now, the thought of leaving the bathroom before the sun is up terrifies me and it keeps me sitting on the floor, staring at the crack in the door, until my eyes get heavy and I slide into a heap and fall into a fitful sleep.
“Shaylee!” Laila yells from across the room. “Remember to keep your magic wrapped tight around you. Only let the element you are using extend out from you. But, keep it on a leash; don’t let it control you.”
We’ve been working all day on purposely separating my abilities for each element. I’ve used specific ones before, but it was an accident. When I’ve made the effort to bring my magic into a fight during training, I always seem to call on them all. I’m also trying to rein it in so that I don’t do things like blow the walls down when all I need is a small burst of wind. Brannon has been working with me so that Laila can coach from the sidelines. Every time, I lose control of my magic, he calls me “Buttercup” (Aden is so going to pay for that) and I’m about ready to go for the groin. I know he’s teasing, but I’m tired and cranky from my lack of sleep and the residual fear from my nightmare.
Brannon steps closer and reaches out his hand, a glow forms until a small ball of fire (that’s right, a freaking ball of fire. I’m really starting to think I’ve stepped into an X-Men movie. Something to do with exothermic process…blah blah blah. It’s still a ball of fire.) is hovering just above.
“You don’t need much to extinguish this, Buttercup.” Aden is a dead man.
I narrow my eyes at him in annoyance, just revisiting the urge to stick my tongue out at him. He gives an unapologetic, lopsided smile and I’ve forgiven him already. Ugh. How does he do that?
Looking at the small fire, I think about collecting water molecules and using air to drop the temperature without creating a large gust of wind. I can feel the heat begin to spread, the warmth of the sun giving me energy. Just as I start to push the cold water toward Brannon’s hand, the warmth of my magic intensifies and the pulse gives a boost to both the water and the air, causing me to practically shove a large amount of the icy liquid (at this point, some of it is icicles) at Brannon and I’m suddenly terrified that I’m going to flay him with the shards of frozen water. The force of the pulse knocks me backwards, just as Brannon topples over the other way.
I scramble to my knees and my breath whooshes out of me in relief when I see the air sizzling with humidity all around Brannon. Laila had used the air around him to combust with fire and it quickly melted and evaporated the water. Brannon is staring at me in stunned silence, but Laila’s attention is now focused on the door to the training room. His eyes dart in that direction and a look of understanding dawns on his face. His dimples dig deep when he grins at me and starts laughing uproariously.
Okaaaaaay. I think he might have a screw loose in that head of his.
“Hey, baby.” The sound of Aden’s voice whips my head around and I jump up with a scream of delight, before running over and throwing myself into his open arms. Our lips crash together and he grabs my ass, lifting me higher to align our bodies. I wrap my legs around his waist and plaster myself against him, the warmth left over from my magic growing into a burn.
I pull my lips away and just hold him tight, whispering, “I missed you so much, Aden.”
His eyes sparkle at my words and he rubs his nose softly over mine. “Yeah?”
I don’t even try to keep the big, goofy smile off of my face when I answer, “Yeah.”
“Oh get a room, would ya?” Brannon jeers.
“We have one.” Aden’s amused eyes never leave mine as he responds,
“USE IT!”
“Shut your trap, Brannon,” Laila interjects. “Aden, you can have Shaylee later. We aren’t done for the day.”
Aden smirks, still not looking away, “Oh, I’m going to have you. Every single way I can think of, in every room of our house, over and over again,” he growls in a lower tone only I can hear.
I’m pretty sure I just had a mini orgasm.
He completely ignores Laila and keeping a firm hold on my ass, turns and leaves with me still wrapped around him like a spider monkey.
Another sleepless night.
I’ve been dragging today, but I can’t bring myself to be sorry about it. Laila finally called a halt to training, giving me an irritated scowl, to which I responded with a properly contrite smile.
“Hey,” I chirp. Man, I’m in a great mood. “You want to get a late lunch? Aden has to meet with Callum to talk about some issues he had with one of the kids he guards.”
“Are you going to remain this chipper or act like a normal person?” she drawls, sarcasm behind each word. I just laugh at her attitude and give her a big hug. “Damn, my brother must be a god in bed,” Laila mutters. “No,” She holds her hand up for silence. “DO NOT respond to that comment.”
I break out into hysterics, and then clap my hand over my mouth to keep my noisy actions from disturbing the others in the training room.
Laila rolls her eyes and turns to walk away. “Get the keys to Aden’s beamer and we’ll go to Bridget’s Café,” she throws the statement over her shoulder as she walks out the door.
I tell Aden to borrow Ean’s car and grab his keys. When he protests, I very thoroughly convince him to see things my way. Besides, Ean is out on assignment anyway.
Laila and I grab a booth at Bridget’s, a ridiculously cute little diner about ten minutes away from the training facility. The first time we walked in, I found it incredibly funny that I was standing in a 50’s style restaurant. It just seemed…so human. But, I suppose their history isn’t that different from ours.
The red vinyl booths sparkle in the sun, shining in from the window we are seated up against and the warmth feels delicious. The waitress (yes, she’s wearing a poodle skirt and saddle shoes. I told you…) takes our order and we settle into conversation.
“Laila,” I suddenly remember something I wanted to ask her about. “What was up with the power yesterday? I had complete control and then it felt like a new heat wave was practically pulsing right through me.”
Laila’s phone beeps and she shrugs as she pulls it out. The message puts a deep frown on her face. “I’m assuming it was Aden. When you’re fated, your magic is strongest when you’re together. Aden walked in unexpectedly and since you’ve not really been away from each other since you got here, I’m assuming it was just the shock of feeling your power enhanced like that. I mean, the longer you’re apart, the stronger the feeling of reconnection is,” she answers absentmindedly, still staring down at her phone, unaware of the effect her comments are having. “When Aden found out you were fated, he changed his mind, and let the council reassign him to you. I’m surprised that Aden didn’t mention the boost in strength to you when he explained about being fated.”
She finally looks up as she finishes and her eyes grow wide at the site of me. I feel all the blood draining from my face and I can only imagine the devastated look on my paler than normal skin. My stomach has started churning and I wrap my arms around my middle—grateful I haven’t eaten anything yet.
“Shaylee…” she trails off, clearly not sure what to say. “He hasn’t told you, has he?” She rubs her temples and lets out a grunt of frustration.
I shake my head in answer to her question.
She sighs. “It’s not like it sounds. Being fated isn’t like the idea humans have created of being ‘mated.’ They’ve once again, taken a simple idea and blown it all out of proportion.” She stops for a second and gives me a sheepish look, “No offense.”
“So, how is it different?” I croak; my mouth has gone completely dry.
“You’re not two halves of a whole who can’t survive without the other, nor are you doomed to walk the earth alone if you don’t find ‘the one’ you’re meant to be with. Being fated is more like a meeting of compatible souls. You are fated to one person, however everyone has their own choices to make and it can, like any other decision, change the course of fate.”
Laila is watching me closely, but I have no reaction to her words. I’m trying to comprehend the fact that Aden wasn’t going to come back to me. Until he found out that I could make his magic stronger.
My emotions must come through my eyes though—she must be able to see the pain from the way my head is suddenly pounding, because she opens her mouth and pauses like she’s trying to find the right words to say. “I swear it’s different, Shaylee.” She finds them. “Being fated doesn’t mean you have to be together.” She pauses and this time her hands move to rub the back of her neck. “I’ve only known it to happen once or twice, but sometimes fated couples don’t fall in love. Their souls mesh, and they become the very best of friends, but they never seem to find that spark. The problem there is that no significant other wants to be with someone whose soul is claimed by another. These couples go to Fate and have the connection broken. There are some instances where one person simply chooses not to be with the other. If it were truly the case, that we each only had one soul mate, then some of us would be really screwed if our other half decided not to be with us.”
Laila’s phone beeps again and without looking at the message, she puts in on silent and throws it in her bag with a look of disgust. “Sometimes, those people are just too bullheaded to accept that what they need is right in front of them and if they’d stop being such stubborn fucking asshole, they might just find some happiness. But no, instead, they cling to their ridiculous ideas and push away the best thing that will ever happen to them.” The anger has built up in her voice and I’m taken aback by it. What is she talking about, exactly?
She must notice the look of confusion on my face because the waves her hand around as if dispelling her last comment. “A discussion for another day.”
The waitress steps up with a tray and Laila waits for her to place our meals down and leave before she continues. “Anyway, for the person being rejected, Fate would have to be a real bitch to let them suffer like that. Don’t get me wrong, she has a short fuse to her bitch switch, but in both of those cases, and in a lot of others, Fate will step in and help you to find another soulmate. Although, she’s more helpful at certain times than others.” The last sentence in dripping with sarcasm. “Sorry, digressing again.” Laila shakes her head, getting her mind back into focus, then places her elbows on the table and leans forward, staring at me keenly. “Anyway, my point is that Aden could have made the choice not to be with you. It wasn’t an all or nothing situation.”
There is a spark of rationality in the back of my brain that knows she is right, but it’s over shadowed by bigger emotions of hurt and anger. The churning in my stomach has expanded into full blown nausea and when my eyes drift down to the turkey sandwich on my plate, my hand flies up to cover my mouth and I bolt to the nearest bathroom. I make it there just in time to lose what little I’ve eaten today, then plant my ass down on the floor, bringing my knees up to my chest and lowering my head to rest in the crevice between them.
“Shaylee?” Laila’s voice is filled with concern. “Are you alright?”
“I’m fine, Laila, just give me a minute, please,” my voice is muffled, my face still planted on my knees.
“Ok.” She sounds uncertain, but her footsteps fade as she returns to the door. “I’ll be right outside.”
My mind is a whirl of thoughts. Aden isn’t capable of lying to me, so his declaration that he had come to see me for my birthday was not a falsehood, but it was still a manipulation of the truth. And, while I knew that he loved me, it hurt to know that he had only come for me because our destinies were tied together. I had hoped that he had been as lost without me as I had been without him. I was terrified that my love for him was stronger and that his reasons for loving me weak, meaning that it might not take much effort for them to slowly disappear over time.
A tight knot continues to coil in my belly, but the nausea had subsided. I stand up, rinse my mouth, splash some cool water on my face, and step to the bathroom door. I open it, but I hesitate to fully walk out when I hear Laila on the phone a few feet down the hall.
“Well, you should have told her, jackass! I didn’t figure you for being such a coward, Aden, so it didn’t occur to me that she didn’t know!”
I obviously can’t hear the other side of the conversation, but my mind is racing to imagine what he was saying.
“You better fix this, Aden. Not only will Fate and the council be pissed at you, but I’m going to kick your ass from one side of Rien to the other if I lose her friendship because you were too stupid to be upfront with her.”
I can’t help the small smile on my face knowing that Laila will always be my friend. I miss Brenna almost as much as my mother and aunt, but my time with Hayleigh and Laila have helped me settle into my life here.
Laila snorts in derision before responding to whatever Aden has said. “Yeah, good luck with that one, Aden. Shaylee isn’t a pushover and I don’t think your powers of seduction are going to help you. I’ll see you tomorrow when you’re limping from the kick to your balls I’m sure is coming your way.” She snaps the phone shut without waiting for a response and mutters something unintelligible.
She turns to walk back my way but stops when she sees me waiting there at the door. “Hi. Sorry about that. Please don’t be mad at me for warning him.” She comes forward apprehensively.
“It’s fine, Laila. Just because he knows to watch out for my ball shot, doesn’t mean he’ll be able to avoid it.”
Laila’s face washes with relief at my humor. As soon as she reaches me, she slings an arm through mine and we walk together out to the car. She stops me with a hand on my biceps as I go to walk around to the driver’s side.
“He really didn’t have to come back for you, Shaylee. My brother is an idiot, but he’s been in love with you since the moment he no longer looked at you like a child. He loved to tell stories about you as a child. Then one day, he didn’t say much at all anymore. But, I think each of us took a turn dragging it out of him because by the time you arrived, I felt like I already knew you.” She grasps me a little tighter and her voice persistent. “He’d made the choice to be with you before he knew you were fated. It just hadn’t truly registered in his mind. I swear it.”
I sigh, “But, we’ll never truly know that, will we Laila?” The hurt in my heart becomes sharp and knifes through me. Laila’s face falls and she steps back, her shoulders slumped in defeat. “I love your brother. And, I’ll love him forever, but I don’t want to wait around and see if his love for me is born of this connection between or souls, or if it is a result of the connection between our hearts. He broke my heart, Laila. I don’t think I’d survive it a second time.”
Laila nods and without a word, gets into the car. On ride home, I contemplate what I said, but I realize, I’ve sunk too deep. I know I’ll forgive Aden because I love him too much to let him go, until he leaves me. That doesn’t mean I’m not going to let him have it, though. I perk up a little at the thoughts of what I can do to make Aden suffer just a little bit. The little devil in me cackles.