When my oldest daughter was 8, she asked what I wanted for Christmas. When I didn’t mention any toys, she felt so sorry for me. “Why don’t you like to play anymore, Mommy?”
That’s a good question. Why do we stop playing? Maybe Polly Pockets and Barbies aren’t your cup of tea, but laughing and giggling and joking should be–because it’s good for the marriage, and the soul!
Up until now we’ve been looking at some of the roadblocks to enjoying a good sex life, and for many of you this has brought up issues of low self-esteem, baggage from sexual pasts, and more.
So today, before we get to more “sexual” challenges, I want to address something at the root of many of our marriage problems: we stop having fun together. And when we stop having fun, marriage becomes so, well, serious.
It is ever so much easier to address problems in our marriages–whether they’re related to sex, or parenting, or finances, or time, or whatever--if we also find time to laugh together. A couple that is laughing together is also a couple who enjoys being together, and who will find navigating all the difficulties of marriage much easier.
So today I want to present you with a list of 14 ways to play together as a couple. These aren’t necessarily sexual–although you can certainly put a sexual spin on them if you want to. Later in the week we’ll look at how to flirt together, but today I just want to focus on laughter–and laughter inspired by physical fun. When we have “physical” fun together, the more sexual fun often follows.
Before you launch into these “play” ideas, though, set the mood. If you’re wanting to have fun with your spouse, make sure he or she is in the right frame of mind, and knows there’s something playful coming. Don’t just spring something on your spouse when he or she is worried about work or preoccupied. Send texts throughout the day, kiss lots when you’re home, and laugh a lot beforehand. Then go for it, like this:
When you do the dishes, flick some water on your spouse, and see what happens! Or, to turn it up a notch, give each other water guns, and go for it! (May work better when it’s not winter for those of us in the Great White North).
If snow is plentiful, text your spouse to warn him or her to be on guard when he or she pulls in the driveway tonight. Then set up an ambush! And you can ask the kids to join in the fun, too. Physical play doesn’t have to exclude the kids, and having all of you laugh together while you end up breathless still is a great preview of what could happen later that night.
I often win wrestling matches, because we make a deal. I have to move my husband (if he’s standing) or push him off the bed (if he’s lying down). He’s not allowed to use anything to stop me except his body and perhaps two fingers. I can do anything I want. And even with those concessions, I still can’t move him! But he laughs so hard that he often loses.
But sometimes I let him win quickly, because what hubby doesn’t like to get his wife pinned down? We always have fun with it and it almost always leads to “other” things.
Ambush your spouse on the way out of the bathroom with a pillow. Then run while he or she goes to get one to hit you back!
Eating chocolate cake tonight? Or making chocolate cake? Smear it on him–and be prepared for it to be returned–just like in this scene from the movie Family Man, which you can see here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ByWtvp02v-A
Speaking of movies, my friend J from the blog Hot, Holy and Humorous (http://hotholyhumorous.com) recommends acting out dancing scenes or romantic scenes from movies. She says, “turn off the sound, and have the two of you provide the audio. See what fun or sexy lines you can come up with!” Or take the approach that Steve Carrell and Tina Fey did in the movie Date Night: when you’re out in public, watch a couple talking and make up dialogue for them, or a funny scenario of what they’re doing together. Just laugh!
Turn your kitchen floor or your living room floor into a dance floor! Turn up the music and dip and swing to your heart’s content! Even if you don’t know what you’re doing, moving together can lead to lots of laughs.
Gina Parris from Winning at Romance agrees. “Have you SEEN Dancing with the Stars? Whew. We’d hate to have all that erotic energy wasted on some silly competition. Get in the game!” So watch some clips and try to copy them. You’ll either roll around on the floor from laughter or from something else!
If you own a Wii system, try the boxing game! You’ll raise your heart rate, and she may just be able to knock him out! Then try to wrestle in real life and see who really is stronger.
Play squash, badminton, tennis, or another racquet sport. Make him play with his left hand (or right hand if he’s left-handed) if he’s a lot better (or make her play handicapped if she’s awesome!).
You’ll be slapping down those cards so hard you’ll work up a sweat! Winner gets something of their choice–could be something sexual, or something like getting out of doing the dishes, or getting to take a bath while the other puts the kids in bed.
Blow up some balloons and play volleyball over the bed–while you’re nude!
Who will cry uncle first?
One of my followers on my Facebook page gave me this idea:
When we change the sheets on the bed, we have a race to see who can finish putting the pillowcase on the pillow and get the pillow on the bed in its place first. We do things like hide the opponent’s pillowcase, throw pillows downstairs, grab opponent’s pillow, yank the pillowcase off and toss it in the hall, lock each in the bathroom, and wrestle each other for our own pillowcase that the other is hoarding, hiding or trying to throw out the window. Much laughter, much tickling, much running through the house and acting like children. It’s fun!
Finally, there’s the staple from the high school cafeteria: food fight. If you’re cooking with your hubby, and you “accidentally” get flour on his nose, what will he do back?
There’s something about play fighting that often ends in an embrace, and isn’t that most of the fun?
Today’s challenge is really simple:
Play! Pick an item–and do it!
Heads up: The next challenge includes some ideas that you do during the day, so it may be best to read it together in the morning—or read it tomorrow night, assuming that you’ll do it the next day.