Miss Marlise on set:
Tight black jacket (Helmut Lang)
White shirt (M&S)
Tight leather leggings (Les Chiffoniers)
Black shoe boots (LK Bennett)
Bright red lipstick (Clinique)
Total est. cost: £940
‘Ha!’
‘A masked ball?!’
Finn, clipboard in hand, earpiece in place, was looking at Annie in obvious astonishment.
‘But just where the heck are we supposed to find a masked ball?’ he asked her. ‘And won’t our ladies have to wear ball dresses, which we can’t afford to buy? And anyway, if everyone’s wearing masks, how will we keep track of them? We’ll end up filming the wrong woman for half the evening.’
Miss Marlise gave a derisive little giggle and rolled her eyes, as if to let Finn know that this was all you could expect if you let the ‘wardrobe lady’ come up with ideas.
Annie could also feel the weight of Bob and Nikki’s eyes on her in this claustrophobic little room. OK, she felt like shouting out, it was just a suggestion.
Instead, in her defence, she said, ‘Cath may seem really quite together some of the time, but she doesn’t do parties. I really don’t know if she’s going to go along with this, let alone cope. No one seems to have mentioned the whole dating/party grand finale to her when she’d agreed to come onto the programme… somehow.’ Annie didn’t want to point any fingers, but she suspected this might have something to do with either Nikki or Finn.
‘I think she might have a panic attack, lock herself in the bathroom for the evening or something like that, unless we really help her out,’ Annie added.
‘Oh for God’s sake!’ Finn said with exasperation, ‘there’s no way we can drop her now! We’ve spent far too much time and money filming her already. Not to mention the shopping trip.’ He shot Annie a glare, as if this was somehow all her fault. None of it was her fault! She’d done everything he’d asked her to do. Annie could make Cath over, but she couldn’t change her into a different person.
Just then Svetlana swept into the room. She’d always had a loose grasp on the concept of punctuality and appearing on TV wasn’t about to change that, despite Finn and Nikki’s carefully detailed schedules. So, she wasn’t just a few minutes late for this briefing, she was a full and glorious forty-five minutes late.
Still, when she entered, blonde hair tumbling over a white fur coat, no one complained; there was just a collective intake of breath. Although Annie noticed Miss Marlise raise her eyebrows and take a look at her watch. That Miss Marlise was jealous of Svetlana and all the attention Svetlana seemed to inspire had been clear from day one. Instinctively, Annie felt that both she and Svetlana should watch out for that woman. Hadn’t Bob already warned that she would climb over anyone she had to in her quest for the top?
‘Svetlana, hi,’ Finn smiled. ‘I don’t suppose you’ve got any spare invitations to a masked ball lying around your Mayfair home, do you?’
This was obviously a flippant little joke. But Svetlana, settling down in the one empty chair in the room, elegantly shrugged off her fur and in her richly accented voice, replied casually, ‘Yes, but of courrrrrrse.’
Which shot a fresh surge of energy into the room.
‘Really?’ Finn asked.
‘Of courrse,’ Svetlana gave a little shrug of her shoulders. ‘At the Tate Modern next Friday there is a big Art Ball. You can wear masks, you can wear costumes, armour, dresses, paint-splattered overalls… whatever you like. It’s artistic… for charity… people always do what they like.’
‘Would they let us film there?’ Finn asked, sounding quite breathless with excitement. A wear what you like, majorly glamorous event, being staged at no cost to him whatsoever. He would just need to turn up with a camera.
‘Ya. I’m on committee, I tell them you film or I don’t pay my big cheque,’ Svetlana added.
‘This is amazing! Svetlana, I don’t know what we would do without you!’ Finn gushed.
Miss Marlise moved her hands to her hips and rolled her eyes once again. ‘Ha!’ she couldn’t help exclaiming.
The clipboard was out and Finn was busy scribbling notes and leafing through notes he’d already made.
‘OK, so today, we start with Annie’s shopping session. All right, Bob? Sorry love,’ he offered in Annie’s direction, ‘you’ll have to meet the next girl in the shopping centre and take it from there. We’re doing the “at home” tomorrow morning. That’s the way it’s going to have to work. So, if you can just pretend that you’ve already met her, looked through her wardrobe and got to know her a bit, that would be great.’
He flicked through his pages and read out: ‘Jody Wilson, same shopping centre, permission hopefully still applies. Nikki if you could ring and check…’
Annie felt taken aback by this set of instructions. She’d not even met Jody and now she was going to be sent straight to the changing rooms with her.
Of course, at The Store, she’d done this many, many times before: met women, put them in a changing room, then heard much of their recent life history and seen them in their pants before thirty minutes was up. But on camera? On TV? It felt as if she was stepping out on stage without any lines or a single rehearsal.
‘Oh, and if we could keep the budget down below £200 this time, Annie, I’d be more than grateful,’ was Finn’s parting shot as Annie and Bob headed for the door.
Oh for goodness’ sake, Annie couldn’t help thinking, was she now expected to work a miracle here every day?
Bob and Annie met Jody Wilson in a café in the shopping centre. As they said their hellos and Bob explained the filming schedule, Annie carefully sized up this petite new makeover client.
In her very safe, almost expressionless outfit of black suit and black boots, it was hard to get much of a clue about Jody. Annie guessed she was in her late twenties and wondered if she had volunteered herself or been volunteered by friends for the Wonder Women treatment.
‘What made you contact us?’ Annie asked.
‘My mum,’ Jody replied with a wary smile. ‘She heard the ad on the radio and put me forward. I think she’s hoping you can wave a magic wand and suddenly I’ll be walking down the aisle.’
‘Ah,’ Annie understood: ‘the “why isn’t my daughter settled down yet?” obsession.’
Jody nodded.
‘But you’re here,’ Annie went on, then added carefully, ‘I take it you might quite like to meet someone—’
‘Special?’ Jody suggested. ‘I would love to meet someone special. But I’m not sure there’s anyone special left. The good ones go early and everyone left is fatally flawed,’ she said gloomily.
‘Ah well, we’re all fatally flawed,’ was Annie’s verdict, ‘I mean take me… I have sworn I’m not going to look like a walrus on TV, but I will not be leaving here without the warm pecan pastry over there that basically has my name written on it.’
This did at least make Jody smile.
As they set off from the café, Annie wanted to make sure that Jody knew the makeover would be followed by the big party.
‘Have you heard where you’re being taken to, once we’ve found you the outfit?’ she ventured.
Jody shook her short, neat bob as a no.
‘This amazing Art Ball at the Tate Modern. It’s apparently a wonderful event, that will be totally mobbed and you will definitely see a few famous faces…’
She looked over at Jody, who was not smiling at this news. Careful, Annie told herself, she didn’t want to scare a second client.
Quickly she added, ‘But it’s not some intimidating event,’ she added quickly. ‘Apparently people can turn up in whatever they want. You could wear a ball dress or a pair of ripped jeans covered in graffiti… or both! It’s all about expressing yourself, Jody.’
‘Right...’ Jody didn’t sound very certain.
As Annie installed Jody in a River Island changing room, Bob set up his camera.
‘I know it’s hard,’ were Annie’s words of encouragement to Jody, when she began to stare at the camera with anxiety, ‘but you’ve got to try to pretend that he isn’t there. Think of this as just about us. Focus on me and my face,’ Annie went on. ‘I’ll focus on you, and we’ll just try and let Bob do his own thing in the background.’
‘OK, hang up your jacket,’ Annie instructed her, ‘turn around, let me see what I’ve got to work with here and tell me something really important. Who would you love to look like? Who’s your fashion heroine? Whose wardrobe would you love to steal?’
‘Whose wardrobe would I love to steal?’ Jody repeated.
‘Yes,’ Annie replied, ‘that’s the best help of all for me. I can easily run round here and bring in a whole bundle of clothes that would suit your figure. But what I really need to know is what will suit your head.
‘I mean… if you love bright blue hats and funky jodhpurs,’ Annie went on, ‘then we have to go out there and find some! Just please don’t tell me that all you really want to wear is plain black suits and nothing else, because that doesn’t say enough about you. It doesn’t give anyone who is meeting you for the first time nearly enough clues, and clues are vital. How is anyone going to chat you up if they haven’t the slightest clue about you?’
‘I love Audrey Hepburn,’ Jody said thoughtfully. ‘Hers is the wardrobe I’d most like to steal.’
‘Yes, Audrey Hepburn,’ Annie said thoughtfully, ‘very minimal, very elegant but, you know, just a little too childish and… chilly. I mean, do you really believe that she and Gregory Peck got hot and sweaty together at the end of Roman Holiday? No. She’s a bit too unapproachable. What about Amélie?’ Annie suggested. ‘Did you ever see that French film, starring Audrey Tatou? She was the quirky girl with the chic little bob just like yours and such cute dresses and little hats. She was cute and French and sexy.’
‘Amélie?’ Jody sounded surprised, ‘I loved Amélie, but I don’t want to seem weird.’
‘But why not?’ Annie said with a shrug and a smile. ‘Maybe your inner weird and wonderful will attract someone else’s weird and wonderful.’
Jody looked unconvinced.
‘I’ve been dressing women for ten years now,’ Annie told her with a confident smile. ‘I think maybe you should just try and trust me here. OK?’
Slowly, Jody nodded.
In Annie’s mind as she headed back out to the shop floor was the question – how am I going to recreate Amélie in River Island for under £200? Give me strength!