Practical Bob:
Green army vest with pockets (military kit store)
Blue sweatshirt (M&S)
Comfy jeans (M&S)
Brown suede hiking boots (Timberland)
Digital watch (Casio)
Total est. cost: £230
‘We’ll get you right.’
Annie looked out of the window of Bob’s car at the boring motorway scenery whizzing past. Today, the morning after the pilot screening, the Wonder Women were up early and on their way to Birmingham.
Bob had come to collect her just before 7 a.m. so they could get out of London before the worst of the morning traffic. To Annie’s not-so-great surprise, Finn, Miss Marlise, Svetlana and Nikki were all travelling up together in Finn’s car.
When Annie had first heard about the arrangements, she had wondered if she should worry that yet again Finn was keeping Miss Marlise and Svetlana together while leaving her out. But then she’d reasoned with herself that Bob lived much closer to her than anyone else and then she tried not to mind about the arrangements any more.
‘So,’ Bob had asked as soon as Annie had buckled herself into the front seat, ‘did you enjoy seeing yourself on TV?’
She’d given a little laugh and had to think about her answer for a moment.
‘I was a bit distracted by everything I did wrong and thinking about how I’d do it differently the next time,’ she’d admitted. ‘But for a minute or two, when it went right, when we got a good moment… yeah, I was pretty chuffed,’ had been her honest reply.
‘What did you think?’ she’d asked him.
‘Lots of things went well, a few things went tits up,’ he answered. ‘You’re right to worry about how you did. That’s exactly how you should be thinking. Yes, there were a few novice moments,’ he hadn’t been able to resist saying. ‘Never point your bum at the camera, for one! I can’t believe they didn’t edit that out. But we’ll work on it. We’ll get you right. I think you could have a real TV future ahead of you.’
She’d beamed at him. Beamed, because really deep down, in her heart of hearts, wouldn’t she like that? A big future ahead of her in television?
‘What’s Finn said to you?’ Bob had asked when they made the transition onto the motorway.
‘Well…’
Finn had phoned her last night and she’d expected him to say something a bit more than, ‘Did you watch it? Good stuff,’ before moving on to talk about the travel arrangements to Birmingham.
‘Not a lot,’ she had to admit.
‘Not to me either,’ Bob told her. ‘Hard to tell what he’s thinking. The channel seems so keen, but it doesn’t look like he can squeeze any more money out of them. He’s asked me to lower my day rate for the last week of shooting.’
‘Am I allowed to know what he’s paying you?’ Annie had to ask.
When she heard, she couldn’t stop herself from spluttering: ‘Bloody hell!!’
‘I know, it’s not good, is it?’ Bob said, sure she was sympathising.
Annie wanted to laugh out loud. She was going to earn in a month what Bob was picking up in three days! Just like crime, fame so obviously didn’t pay.
The mobile in her handbag burst into life, and a glance at the screen told her it was Svetlana.
‘Annah! My phone not stop ringing since the show go on air! So many old friends contact me to say how much they love it. Finn, he’s beside me in the carrrr, his phone ringing all the time too. People love the show, Annah! It is so exciting! Vhy you not in the car with us listening to all these good things?’ she asked.
‘I’m driving up with Bob,’ Annie explained.
Svetlana gave that peculiar noise she used to express disapproval. ‘Tcha! That’s no good. You not go home with Bob, you come in car with us. Nikki go with Bob,’ she commanded.
‘Now, what I have to tell you…’ Svetlana’s voice sounded full of suppressed excitement, which was of immediate concern to Annie. There were only a few things that really excited the Ukrainian: and they were all related to mega-wealthy men and their mega money.
‘Guess who phone me last night? At home, on my personal number?’
‘Igor?’ Annie ventured, ‘Igor Potato-face the Third?’ she asked because if Svetlana was even thinking about a reunion, she needed to be reminded what a horror Igor had been.
‘No! Igor. Tcha!’ Svetlana made the disdainful noise again. ‘No. A very interesting man. Also Ukrainian. He’s called Uri and he has hedge fund, is worth millions and he wants to take me to dinner!’
‘Do you know him?’ Annie asked.
‘Yes, yes. He say we meet many times at parties when I am Igor’s wife.’
‘And he’s never phoned you before?’
‘No! And he get my home number! No one has my home number. Everyone use my mobile. He loved the show.’
‘He watches the Home Sweet Home channel?!’ To Annie it didn’t seem very likely.
‘He hear from someone that I am going to be on television, he find out about it and so… he is a very interesting man. He is going to take me out to celebrate my first appearance on television.’
‘Erm…’ Annie knew she was going to have to point out the obvious thing here: ‘but darlin’, does Harry know? Is Harry going along?’ she ventured. ‘You have told Mr Deep Pockets that you’re getting married in a few weeks’ time, haven’t you?’
‘Oh, Annie!’ Svetlana breathed an exasperated sigh, ‘you not understand how it works. You never understand how it works.’
But Annie did understand exactly how the world sometimes worked and felt it was only fair to warn her friend.
‘Darling, you are a very beautiful woman – a very beautiful, very wealthy woman. This man might be after your body… and who can blame him? But he might also be after your money. You need to look out for yourself.’