Annie dressed to go:
Pink silk skirt (Zimmerman, The Store sale)
White shirt (Reiss)
Beige fishnet hold-ups (Pretty Polly)
Beige suede boots (Jimmy Choo, via eBay)
Beige mac (Valentino, via eBay)
Total est. cost: £620
‘You’re old enough to know.’
‘You did not! She did not!! And what happened then?’
The news of Elena’s dispatch was so exciting, Annie had to put the long lecture she’d prepared to give Lauren on hold. In fact, one look at Lauren’s pale and contrite face as she’d sidled in the front door had told Annie that the whole lecture might not be necessary.
‘I’m going to my room to change,’ Lauren had told her meekly, leaving Ed to finish the Svetlana story.
‘Harry stormed off!’ Ed went on, ‘without another word… without even tying up his shoelaces! Then Elena went in and that’s all I can tell you. Svetlana slammed the door in my face!’
‘Oh my god, I have to phone her.’ Annie reached for her mobile, but Ed put a hand on her arm.
‘No. You do not.’ he said: ‘why don’t you just let her be? Let her sort out her own mess for once. Owen!’ Ed’s attention had moved to the puddle close to the dog basket. ‘You’ve not let Dave out! Now he’s peed and you’re clearing up, mate.’ Ed added: ‘Some lessons have to be learned the hard way.’
‘Shhh,’ Annie told Ed, ‘Owen’s had a bit of a time of it himself.’
Owen groaned but got up from the sofa.
‘Dog ownership comes with responsibilities, buddy,’ Ed told him, patting him on the shoulder as he passed.
Annie’s eyes met her partner’s. He’d tracked down her daughter and brought her home in the face of tough-guy opposition, he’d gone to one of the wealthiest women in Mayfair and told her how it was; he’d even delegated dog wee duty to Owen.
She was impressed.
Annie could have done all these things herself, of course. But it was the fact that he was here and he did them too that was impressive. He was her equal. Maybe even, this evening anyway, he was slightly more boss and slightly more in charge.
And the fact that they held the balance of power like this between them, constantly making shifts and adjustments when required, was impressive. And very, very sexy.
Annie quite liked the fact that to other people, Ed might appear too nice, too cuddly and too much of a pushover, but really, there was a core of strength running through that man. He was upright. One hundred per cent. He would never let you down.
‘Thank you,’ Annie told him, moving to put her arms round Ed’s waist and pull him in, ‘I don’t think we should go to our minibreak tonight,’ she said.
‘No,’ he agreed.
‘I need to go up and see Lauren now.’
‘Yeah, you do.’
Annie could see, as soon as she stepped into Lauren’s bedroom, that her daughter was very sorry.
She was sitting on her bed. She hadn’t changed out of her outfit, but she’d pulled a blanket across her shoulders and was looking scared and sad.
So really there was no need for Annie to lecture. She just needed to put an arm round Lauren and remind her of all the rules about staying safe, which she did, gently.
Tears were squeezing from the corners of Lauren’s eyes as she told Annie, ‘I’m sorry, OK? I won’t do anything like that again, ever.’
‘Yes, you will’ – Annie hugged her and couldn’t help giving a little laugh – ‘and we’ll be right here for you. To pick you up and help you out again. But you better not ever, ever pick up a cigarette again or I’ll cut off your hands,’ she warned, ‘Does that seem reasonable?’
‘Thank you,’ Lauren sniffed and pushed her face into Annie’s shoulder: ‘I don’t know what would have happened if Dad hadn’t shown up…’
Just as Annie sucked in a breath of astonishment at the mistake Lauren had made, Lauren corrected herself. ‘I mean Ed,’ she said quickly and there was a sob in her voice; ‘of course I mean Ed.’
Annie rubbed her hand across her daughter’s blanketed back and felt a lump rising up in her throat.
‘You’re old enough to know, baby…’ she began, swallowing hard, ‘you’re old enough to know that you had a wonderful dad who would have loved you to bits and who would have taken on anyone for your sake… but it’s really OK to think of Ed as your dad now. He deserves it. And it doesn’t take anything away from your real dad. Not one thing.’
Annie could feel tears at the back of her own eyes. She felt as if she was falling forward into commitments she hadn’t yet decided to make. Someone, somewhere, had taken off her mental brakes without even telling her.
All of a sudden, she felt certain that she was going to marry Ed, as he’d wanted for some time now, and sign the legal papers that would make him the children’s legal stepdad. Maybe even from tonight she would throw her diaphragm in the bin, make love without a safety net and get pregnant with him. Then he would finally be the one thing he still longed to be – a biological dad.
‘Call Ed “Dad”,’ Annie whispered into her daughter’s hair, ‘he’ll absolutely love it.’
Just then there was a tap at the door and Ed looked into the room. ‘Everything OK?’ he asked with concern.
‘Fine,’ Annie told him. ‘Get over here,’ she instructed him gently.
Ed sat down on the edge of Lauren’s bed and put his arm around her shoulder just like Annie was doing. ‘You feeling better?’ he asked.
To his surprise, Lauren used both arms to hug him back and resting her head on his shoulder, she sobbed against it. ‘I’m so sorry… thank you… Dad,’ she whispered the word tentatively, as if she were trying it out. As if she wanted to make sure it was OK.
Ed hugged her protectively and kissed the top of her head. When he looked up at Annie, she could see that his eyes were swimming.
‘DINAH! ED! HELP!’
The tender family moment was broken by loud shrieks from the landing below.
‘It’s Mum!’ Annie said, springing up and rushing across the room.
By the time she’d made it down from the attic, Ed and Lauren hot on her heels, Dinah and Owen had also rushed up from downstairs.
‘He’s taken my shoe!’ Fern pointed with agitation in the direction of Ed and Annie’s bedroom, ‘I saw him running in there with it!’
‘The dog?’ Annie asked. ‘If that dog has become a shoe eater, he is…’ a glance at Owen told her she’d better not utter the threat she had in mind, ‘in serious, serious trouble.’
‘No!’ Owen assured them, ‘it’ll be his chew, not a shoe. I bought him a whole box.’
‘No. It’s my shoe!’ Fern insisted. She hurried towards the open bedroom door and everyone else fell in behind her.
‘It did look too big for a chew…’ Dinah added.
Dave had jumped on top of her bed! Annie thought with outrage. The stinky little mongrel was growling, chewing frantically and digging his little claws into the silk velvet bedspread in a frenzy of excitement.
‘Down!’ Annie shouted.
‘Now Dave,’ Ed said, much more kindly, as if he was going to begin a long explanation about why you shouldn’t bring Granny’s shoes or your chew toys into the bedroom.
Annie looked more closely at the bed: it was scattered with paper.
‘What is that?’ Owen asked, coming in for a closer look at the dog just as Annie was registering that the scattered paper was a pattern she’d seen before. It was… wrapping paper. In fact, it was the paper Ed had used to wrap his gift to her!
Oh… good… GRIEF!
She looked at Ed.
Ed was looking at Dave.
Fern, Dinah, Lauren, Owen: everyone was looking at Dave, moving in on him, fascinated to see what he was working away at with his jaws.
With a flash of horror, Annie realised, but it was too late to do anything to hide it. Everyone was going to see. She flicked a glance at Ed and saw the colour rising in his face. So… he’d realised too.
Dave’s strong teeth had already raised bumps on the rubber surface but they hadn’t done much to disguise the exaggerated, but obvious, shape of the object. The stupid mutt then managed to bite down on the switch so that suddenly it sprang to life, whirring and twisting in his mouth. He growled and tried to shake it vigorously into submission.
‘Put that down, Dave!’ Ed commanded, making a lunge at the dog, desperate to be the first to get hold of him. But Dave ducked out of his grasp and now Owen had the dog’s head in his hands and was prising his jaws apart.
Annie watched in slow motion as her twelve-year-old son picked up a large pink and purple, nubbly rubber vibrating vibrator and held it up in front of his family.
‘What is this?’ he asked.
‘Oh. My!’ was Dinah’s surprised response.
‘Oh… my word!’ Fern managed with a gasp.
‘Is that a…’ Lauren began, her face wrinkled with disgust.
Before she could utter the dreaded word, Ed, redder than a beetroot on fire, snatched the battery-operated boner from Owen’s hand muttering, ‘Right, OK, we’ll take that away from him and…’
But Ed seemed to hang there, vibrator vibrating in his hand, at a loss for words. He didn’t even have the presence of mind to switch the thing off. So it continued to buzz and twist.
Annie didn’t mean to catch Dinah’s eye, she just happened to turn her head as Dinah turned hers, and somehow their glances caught in the middle.
Then there was no return, as both sisters began to rock and shake with their suppressed hysterics.
‘That looks like a giant, Barbie willy,’ Owen declared.