Annie felt for this little girl who was acting out in fear, not in spite or hate. “I never want to try and take your mother’s place.”
Tears shimmered on long dark lashes as Caroline looked toward the window. “Things will change now that you’re here.”
She spoke with such conviction that Annie longed to hug her but knew that would not be welcomed. All she could do was try to reassure her.
“Caroline, the only thing that is going to change will be that Uncle Jared doesn’t have to do everything himself. I’ll be here to help him.”
She looked mutinously at Annie. “I’m the one who helps him.”
Annie heard it in her voice, that being Jared’s helper meant she was needed.
“I’d like to get ready for bed now.”
“Good night, Caroline.”
Annie heard her mumbled reply that could have been anything as she went out and closed the door. From the room down the hall, laughter filtered out.
She approached the room and caught sight of something moving very fast toward her. This “something” was giggling with delight.
“Annie, catch him…he’s trying the bedtime escape.” Jared laughed as he let Luke tackle him to the floor in a playful maneuver.
She scooped Toby up easily in her arms, swinging him around which made him laugh even harder. “Me go!”
“I don’t think so, young man,” she said. “I think it’s bedtime for Toby.”
Suddenly his smile turned into a frown. “No.”
“Yes,” came the decision from Jared. “Tomorrow is Saturday, plenty of time to run and play.”
Jared pushed himself off the floor and deposited Luke on his bed. “Annie, would you change Toby into his pyjamas? They’re at the end of his bed.”
Toby wriggled and squirmed to the best of his ability but Annie held tight to him. “What are you…a worm?”
That irrepressible giggle bubbled up again and this time Annie found herself laughing with him. “Yuck.”
“How about a little boy with way too much energy for this time of night?”
He clearly didn’t understand but something told him that playtime was over and the adults were being serious now. His sigh was accompanied by a soft little pout.
“Wanna come fishing with us tomorrow, Annie?”
Jared pulled Luke’s T-shirt over his face, which resulted in the boy mumbling the last of his invitation.
“That sounds like fun. Maybe we could pack some sandwiches and drinks.”
“And cookies?”
“I’ll see what I can do.”
He turned his smile on his uncle. “I like her.”
Jared kissed his forehead and deposited him in the bed. “I’m glad you do, mate.”
That stamp of approval from Luke touched her.
When the boys were ready for sleep Jared kissed both of them and looked at Annie. “I’m going to check in on Caroline.”
“Are you going to kiss us good night, Annie?”
She smoothed the light covers over Luke. “Would you like me to?”
His nod was emphatic. “Grandma kisses us ’night when we stay over there.”
She leaned down and brushed her lips against his forehead.
“Don’t forget Toby.”
Annie walked over to where the child lay, his wide eyes taking in everything around him. He simply looked at her, as if memorizing her face.
She reached out and stroked the back of her hand down his cheek, let his long eyelashes brush her fingers, traced his sweet smile with one trembling finger.
This was something she never thought she would get to do, kiss her son good-night. “Sleep tight, little man.” She leaned down and brushed a kiss against his forehead.
“See you in the morning, boys.” She slipped out of the room and closed the door quietly behind her. When she turned, Jared was standing right there.
“They’re settled for the night.”
“Caroline, too.” Then he pulled a key from his pocket. “This is for the front door so you can come and go as you like.”
Annie took it. In such a small way that key made her situation so much more real. “Thanks.”
“I need some coffee. You interested?”
Annie screwed up her nose a little. “I don’t drink coffee but I’ll have a cup of tea with you.”
“After you,” he said, motioning for her to lead the way downstairs. Once they were in the kitchen she decided now was as good a time as any to learn where things were.
“Sit down and let me see if I can navigate this on my own.”
He smiled but did as she said. In the cabinet above the coffeemaker she found mugs. In the large walk-in pantry she found coffee, filters, teabags and sugar. She busied herself trying not to feel like an interloper in Sara’s kitchen.
“How was Caroline with you tonight?”
Jared rubbed the back of his neck. “Stony silence. I really believe she’s thinking about it all, though.”
Annie prayed time would banish Caroline’s fears. “So what time will we be going fishing?”
“Late in the afternoon is best. I’ve morning chores to do, Luke and Caroline have the animal houses to clean and I think we need a load of laundry.”
“If you prefer you can write me a list.”
“No, that makes you seem like hired help and I don’t want you to feel that way. I’ll let you take care of the indoor stuff this weekend…if you don’t mind.”
“Mind?” She laughed as the last of the coffee brewed. “I’d love to try and find my way, see if I can get into a routine…I just don’t want you to feel like I’m taking over.”
Jared was quiet until she set coffee in front of him and sat down at the table with a cup of tea for herself. “Annie, I know you’ll feel a little strange at first but don’t be afraid to do things.”
Annie sipped her tea. “What time do you usually get up for breakfast on the weekends?”
“Same time as during the week. I’m in the kitchen by about five-thirty…sometimes six depending on what the weather is like and what I have on the agenda for the day. Never any later than six though.”
Six in the morning! Well, this was the country. The day started as the sun was breaking, sometimes before.
“On Sundays I feed the animals and do the milking but that’s about it for outside chores,” he told her. “We get ready for church after breakfast and then we have lunch either here or with Mum and Dad. Then I catch up on the accounts and farm records in the afternoon.”
“Do you manage the household accounts on computer?”
“I don’t but we have the software to do it.” He thought for a moment then added. “If we make this a permanent thing, would you like to take over the budgeting and accounts for the house?”
Annie smiled. “I’d love to.” She inquired as to what software he had and was delighted to learn it was the same one she had used at the restaurant.
“He had you doing the books?”
“Nobody else wanted to do them and he wasn’t very good at numbers. At first I didn’t know a whole lot about it, but I read the manuals and I’d go in and play around with it on my days off. After a month or so I was able to save him money and show him how the business could be more efficient.”
“The computer is in the study, just off the living room. Feel free to use it anytime.”
They fell into a calm silence, neither feeling compelled to rush headlong into conversation just to fill it. Finally Annie had a question.
“What do you all like for breakfast?”
“The kids make up their minds when they reach the table. Sometimes it’s cereal, sometimes toast. On the odd occasion they’ll ask for pancakes, and once I tried French toast because they made it in Caroline’s class at school.”
“How did it turn out?”
“Burnt beyond recognition,” he confessed, a soft smile on his face. “Sara has cookbooks on one of the shelves in the pantry. I doubt there’s anything you can’t find.”
He took a sip of coffee. “I think today went well, all things considered.”
Annie had to agree. “I’m looking forward to the weekend.” She did say it, but she knew come Monday she would be hoping to hear his decision.
“I’m going to head up to bed,” he said, stifling a yawn. “I’ve been up since five. You’re okay to get back to the farm? I’ll drive you if you want me to.”
“It’s a straight shot down the road. I won’t get lost. You need your sleep.”
He pushed to his feet. “You can leave the cups in the sink. I’ll do them in the morning. What time will you be here tomorrow?”
Annie took the cups from the table and deposited them in the sink. “I’ll be here in time to cook your breakfast. This is a trial run–I’d better get used to your schedule.”
He seemed about to say something then shook his head, exhausted. “Thanks for the coffee…you made it just right.”
“I’m glad you enjoyed it.”
He bid her good-night and went upstairs. She listened to the sound of his footsteps retreating. “I’ve passed my first day,” she said quietly to the silent room. “Please Lord, help me make tomorrow a good day for all of us.”
Upstairs, Jared lay in bed listening to the sound of Annie cleaning up in the kitchen, moving chairs. He heard the front door close and click to lock.
In moments the truck was fired up and disappearing into the distance.
He didn’t want to pressure her into thinking she had to want this. Twenty-one was such a young age. When he was that age all he’d thought about was football, women and cars.
Annie seemed so grounded, so ready to accept the awesome responsibility he was asking her to take on. Whatever had happened in her past, it hadn’t destroyed her. It had made her stronger.
As he drifted into sleep, Jared said a silent prayer, for the future, for all of them. He prayed that things would go well this weekend and Annie would feel she had a place here.
Annie made it out to the farm the next morning before anyone was awake. She had showered and dressed as quietly as she could so as not to wake Eve and Mick.
She was dressed in jeans and a button-front blouse of white eyelet. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail. The sandals on her feet made a muffled noise on the floor of the hallway as she let herself in the front door.
She set the table, slowly discovering where things were, trying not to think about the restless night she’d had. That little voice inside had kept nagging at her about telling Jared the truth. It had kept reminding her of all the opportunities she’d had to tell him. Annie had tried hard to ignore it.
She had instead tried to concentrate on the most important part of her being here…the children. Last night, seeing Toby for the first time wasn’t as tough as she’d expected.
Seeing him forced a realization on her. If Jared asked her to marry him and if she said yes, she would never be able to tell anyone that Toby was her son.
Annie was determined not to show favoritism. She would give them all the same love and attention equally.
“Good morning.”
Annie swung around at the sound of Jared’s voice. He came walking into the kitchen, his shirt not yet tucked into his jeans, work boots in one hand, till he dropped them on the floor beside his chair.
He began rolling up his shirtsleeves and Annie realized what a thoroughly masculine thing it was…inconsequential in the course of a day but a little thing she noticed this morning. He sat down on a chair at the table, turning to put his boots on.
“I opened the window so I could hear the sounds of the morning.”
He looked at her with a thoughtful expression, then he smiled. “You know, I guess for those of us who hear it every day it just becomes another part of country life. But you haven’t heard it in so long.”
“It’s beautiful. There is no sound I’m sure, like that of the Australian bush waking up each morning.” She moved away from the window and poured him a cup of freshly brewed coffee.
“I made it just like last night. What would you like for breakfast?”
“Eggs would be good.”
“How do you have them?”
He smiled. “Scrambled with cheese and onion.”
She bestowed on him a smile that was as innocent and as warm as she was. “I worked the breakfast shift a few times and filled in for the cook on more than one occasion. My eggs never killed anyone.”
“That’s good to know.”
Jared watched as she moved around the kitchen, curious about this woman. He had never in his life known a woman as complex and intriguing, yet one who seemed happy with the smallest things in life.
Annie took pride in putting the plate of eggs before him when they were done. “I used a little cream. It makes them fluffier…at least, that’s the theory.”
Jared had eaten at least three mouthfuls before he could finally manage a verdict. “Annie, this is great.”
Behind her the toaster tinged. She came back to the table with four slices of toast smothered with butter.
“On the off chance that we decide not to get married. I may hire you on as our cook.”
Before he could ask she had refilled his coffee mug. “As a cook, I don’t come cheap and I expect good tips.”
He was chuckling at her reply when Luke ambled in, one hand scratching his head, the other stifling a yawn. He still wore his pyjamas.
“Morning, mate.”
Still not properly awake, Luke waved at his uncle as he sat down at the table. “Can I have cereal, please?”
“Sure.” Annie didn’t know what to choose from the pantry. There staring back at her were four boxes of cereal, each one different, each box more colorful.
She felt Jared behind her before his warm breath grazed her ear. Annie closed her eyes and tried not to feel the awareness that tore a path through her.
“You’ll find he tends to like whichever one has some free toy in the box or one of those superhero stories on the back.”
By the time he moved away to put his plate in the sink, Annie was wiping her sweaty palm on her jeans. He hadn’t meant it to be an intimate gesture…Jared wasn’t like that. So why had it seemed so cozy…so personal? He didn’t seem affected at all by the innocent encounter as he sat back down at the table.
Luke had already gotten the milk from the refrigerator and carried it back to the table. He was happily munching on purple-and-green rings of some sugar coated cereal when his sister came into the kitchen.
“Good morning, Caroline.”
She threw Annie a glance. “Morning.”
“Hey, Possum. Luke wants to go fishing today.”
Caroline busied herself getting a bowl, a spoon and another brand of cereal before coming back to the table. She settled in a chair opposite her uncle.
“I’d like to go play with Michelle today.”
Jared took a deep breath and decided to at least attempt to handle this situation better than those of the last few days.
“You’ve got the animal houses to clean and then I thought we could all have a picnic and go fishing at the river.”
“After I do the houses, will you call Michelle’s mum and ask if I can come over?”
Jared shrugged. “Okay, if that’s what you want.” Before Caroline could look too comfortable that she had gotten her own way, he added, “We’ll pick you up on the way to the river. That way you’ll get to do both.”
Caroline looked at him as if he had just betrayed her and it hurt Jared.
“I’ll go see if Toby is awake.” Annie quietly left the room.
“Caroline, no matter how hard you try not to like Annie, she’s still going to be nice to you.”
“I just don’t want to go fishing.”
Luke looked surprised. “But you love fishing.”
“I don’t feel like going today.”
“You mean you don’t want to spend time with Annie.” She didn’t answer Jared but her look told him he was right. “I thought you would at least give her a chance. She doesn’t want to take anything away from you, she just wants to be your friend.”
Caroline let out a frustrated sigh. “Fine. I’ll go fishing.”
Jared smiled and reached out to brush a strand of hair from her face. “Thank you.”
As she looked back to her cereal bowl Jared felt he’d made great strides with that one concession on her part.
“Are you part worm or part contortionist?”
Trying to dress Toby had been one giggle after another from him.
“Let’s go get you some breakfast.”
She set him on his feet and took his hand. “’Kay.”
Annie smiled to herself as she led Toby down the hall and carefully down each step. He took his time and she didn’t mind at all.
Toby jumped down the last step and ran ahead into the kitchen. Annie paused and looked up at the photos on the wall.
She stared at Sara’s photograph and a strange, though warm feeling filled her. “I wish I could have told him. But your brother just would not understand…not like you did.”
And then, it was as if the other woman reached out in some way and laid a hand on her shoulder…to let her know it was all right.
A peace filled Annie and her voice was whisper soft. “I’ll take care of them all for you, Sara…I promise.”
“You can pet Oscar if you’d like.”
Annie pegged the last of Jared’s shirts on the line and looked down at Luke and the guinea pig he held in his hand. Gingerly she ran her hand over the quivering little ball of chocolate-brown fur. “Nice to meet you, Oscar.”
“I can bring his family up for you to meet.”
“Ah, that’s okay, Luke…I’m sure we’ll meet sooner or later.”
He shrugged and ran off, Oscar clutched tightly to his little chest. Earlier that day he had introduced her to the cats, Tabby, Mouser and Fluffy.
The only worrying thing to the whole lovable picture was that Fluffy had not an ounce of fur on her anywhere. Annie wasn’t sure what breed she was but her name certainly seemed ironic.
Toby was amusing himself in the sandpit, Murphy sitting close by watching him. The boys had been playing outside since lunchtime. Caroline was spending a few hours with her friend and Jared was in the shed working on the engine of an old blue truck.
Annie picked up the basket and carried it back into the house. This was what her days would be like if Jared agreed to the marriage: routine household chores, spending time with the children, being in their lives and hopefully making a difference.
She was cutting up sandwiches, preparing to pack the picnic hamper, when Jared came into the house, pausing to rinse his hands and drying them on the clean hand towel she passed him.
“Thanks. How long until you’re ready?”
“As soon as I finish putting the goodies in here.”
He put the towel back on the rack, snatched a sandwich from the pile and shot her a smile. “I’ll go put the fishing gear in the truck.”
Annie went to the back door and called the boys in. They were a little grubby but happy, with that rosy cheeked look of healthy children. It was especially heart-warming to watch Toby mimic his brother, his tiny little legs pumping as he raced headlong to catch up at times.
With the boys sitting at the table a few minutes later, both content to drink cool ice water and watch her, Annie finished packing the hamper, throwing in extra juice boxes and napkins.
By the time she had assured herself she had everything they could possibly need, Jared came back into the kitchen.
“I’ll carry this.” He took the hamper with an ease that shouldn’t have surprised her. “Are we ready?”
The boys shouted their answers and charged after their uncle and out the door. Annie wiped her hands on the dishtowel before switching off the light and following them.
She couldn’t think of a nicer way to spend a Saturday afternoon. Hopefully there would be many more like it in the future.
“If it’s okay with you, I’m going to take an hour for myself tomorrow.” Annie smoothed the blanket on which she was sitting.
They had been at the river for almost two hours. Caroline was laughing and smiling and having fun with her brothers but each time her eyes met with Annie’s, a guarded expression took the smile away and dimmed the light in her eyes.
Jared looked up from rigging his fishing pole, a wary look on his face. “If it’s all been overwhelming, I’m sorry.”
Annie smiled and closed the picnic hamper. “Nothing about you or the children is overwhelming. I want to go over and see what’s left of my old house.”
“Annie, there’s nothing but a couple of walls and the chimney still standing.”
“I heard there was a fire. I knew there couldn’t have been much left but I need to close that part of my life. I wish I could explain it but I can’t.” She shrugged. “I was just so angry when I left here. I need to make peace.”
He turned and looked down to where the children sat high up on the riverbank and out of harm’s way. “I think I understand. Sometimes unfinished business just seems to want to drag you back.”
“You, too?” He nodded. “Were you ever able to go back and finish it?”
“I thought about it a time or two…but I know there wouldn’t be any point. I chose my life and it’s right here in front of me.” He looked from the children back to her. “I think it’s a pretty good life.”
Then why, she wondered, did it sound like something was missing? Lord, please help Jared find the peace his soul needs.
“My worm wriggled off.”
Both adults realized they had been so caught up in the conversation, neither had seen Luke amble up the hill.
“He might have been snatched by a fish,” Jared suggested, reaching into the pail and dragging out another big fat worm.
Luke shook his head. “Nah, he fell off ’cause I didn’t feel any tugging on my line.” He looked up Annie. “Could I have another cookie, please?”
She handed him the sandwich bag. “Take them down and share them with the others.”
He grinned as he took his newly baited pole and went back down the bank.
“Thank you for today.” Jared handed her a fishing pole he had finished rigging. “I know Caroline’s attitude is probably a damper but it means a lot to me and the boys.”
Annie smiled. “You’re welcome, and thank you for inviting me to be a part of this.”
He pushed to his feet and held out his hand to her.
“Come on, let’s go see if you’re as good a fisherman as you are in the kitchen.”
Laughing, she let him pull her to stand and followed him.
Later that evening the children watched one of their favorite movies in the living room and Annie sat in front of the computer, slowly figuring out the accounting software.
Jared had insisted on cleaning up in the kitchen after dinner. It hadn’t been much. They were all still stuffed from the picnic.
“I brought you a cup of tea.”
Annie looked up as Jared came into the study with two mugs. He handed one to her and came around to stand behind her.
“This software came with the computer. Do you think it’s something you’ll be able to use?”
“It’s a newer version of the one I used before, but not that different. Once I see the receipts you have, I can set up folders for your different accounts, work out a budget if you’d like one and tell you how much you’re spending on both farm items and household things.”
“Amazing,” said Jared, just watching her click here or tap on a key there and move through programs like a pro. She was a revelation in so many ways. Everything he had seen so far—her rapport with the children, her patience with Caroline and her willingness to pitch in and be part of the life he had here—all led him to one conclusion.
Jared knew there was a possibility she might change her mind about liking it here so much, but instinct told him if he asked her to stay, she would.
“What’s on the agenda for tomorrow?” She shut down the computer before turning to face him.
“Church.”
The smile she gave him was not feigned and that touched him. “I guess the people of the town will be curious as to why I’m back and why I’m with your family.”
“They’ll find out soon enough.” He held out his hand. “Let’s go finish watching the movie with the kids.”
Annie took his hand and once again felt little pin-pricks of awareness. She’d felt them today, too. They weren’t intimidating, but hinted at aspects of their relationship she had tried not to dwell on.
The moment they sat down on the couch Luke got up from his position on the floor and came to sit on his uncle’s knee, curling into the broad chest.
Toby, copying what his big brother did, came over to the couch and, seeing Jared’s lap occupied, climbed up and perched himself on Annie.
“I’m glad he’s taken to you so well.”
Annie couldn’t tell him how wonderful it was to her, she couldn’t tell him just what the moments with Toby meant to her. If she told him, this would all end. It hurt to keep the truth bottled inside.
Toby eventually drifted off to sleep, curling into Annie’s chest, his thumb in his mouth, his breathing soft and even.
Jared felt his breath stall when he looked over at the pair. It looked so natural, the child sleeping peacefully, the woman holding him like he belonged in her arms. He wondered if she even realized that her fingers smoothed softly over his tiny head, or that now and again she bestowed the smallest of kisses in his hair.
Annie Dawson seemed tailor-made to fit into all their lives. Tomorrow at church, Jared would have a lot to be thankful for.
Annie drove with Jared’s parents to church the next day. How she’d agonized over what to wear this morning, wanting to look just right! Finally she’d settled on a pale lavender summer dress, with short sleeves and a hemline that brushed her calves. It fitted her slender shape except where the skirt billowed and fell softly around her legs. She had her hair rolled and swept up off her neck, secured with pins.
Jared looked very handsome today dressed in a shirt and tie, crisply pressed trousers and black dress shoes. If it was possible he looked even more masculine than usual.
Mick placed a fatherly arm around her shoulder and gave her a gentle squeeze, but once the children rushed at him she moved away and walked to stand beside Jared.
It hadn’t escaped Jared’s notice that people were casting glances in their direction. He saw the recognition on some people’s faces, saw some grasp for an old memory of the pretty woman with red hair and smiling eyes.
She looked especially beautiful today. She constantly surprised him, amazing him at every turn, making him shake his head and wonder how he could have found someone so perfect for his world, for the children.
“Annie Dawson?”
Annie braced herself as she turned toward the voice that had questioningly called her name. She came face to face with a girl who had saved her a seat on the school bus many times, a girl she had always liked.
“Susie Cooper!”
The woman chuckled, hands resting on the swell of her belly. “Susie Peters now. I married Danny. Hi, Jared.”
“Susie.”
“How is Danny?” Annie enquired.
“He’s fine. That’s him over there trying to keep an eye on the twins.”
She remembered Danny as short and round but the man who walked toward them now, his eyes on his wife, had grown tall and slender. He greeted Jared and shook his hand.
“Sweetheart, you remember Annie Dawson from Rivers Road?”
Suddenly a smile broke out on his cheerful face. “Sure do. How are you? Moving back to town or just visiting?”
“I’m fine and still deciding on the moving back part.” She didn’t know what else to say. “How long until the new addition?”
Susie sighed. “Nine weeks and I’m so ready you couldn’t imagine.”
Annie bit back the response that hovered on her tongue. She could imagine all too well. “And you have twin boys already?”
“Yep, but the doctor tells me this time there’s only one.”
Annie touched the woman’s arm. “It was lovely seeing you both again and good luck.”
Susie beamed. “Thanks. Come on Danny, we’d better head on in and get a seat. Boys, time to go in.”
Jared scooped Toby into his arms and Luke slipped his hand into Annie’s as they made their way into the church with Jared’s parents.
Annie felt like a bug under a microscope as they entered the church. They chose a row in the middle, and even when everyone was settled she knew people had recognized her or were trying to place her face. Jared looked over at her and without saying a word he took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. Then he smiled and took her breath away.
She was still reeling from the effects of that smile when a gentle hand touched her shoulder.
“Sweet Annie.”
The minister who stood in front of her now was as familiar to her as anyone. “Reverend Kane. How lovely to see you again.”
“And you, my dear. Jared, good to see you.” He looked back to Annie. “We’ve missed you. Maybe you’ve come home to stay?”
He moved away to greet Mick and Eve farther up in the pew before taking his place at the front of the church and greeting the congregation.
“I had a sermon prepared for this morning but today I’m going to talk about going home,” he said. “Whether it is to our own past or the Lord’s family, nobody should ever feel they couldn’t go home again.”