“Oh, Annie, I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to bring up a painful subject.”
“You didn’t. I…I’ve just missed having a mother and even when I had Sylvia in my life she was miserable and so unhappy.”
“That isn’t your fault and today I don’t want you thinking about anything except finding your dress.”
They pulled out dress after dress, each one lovelier than the last, each one with stitches and delicate embroidery that could never be duplicated in the modern era.
It took her almost an hour, but just as she was about to give up Annie reached into the back of the closet and pulled out the most beautiful dress she had ever seen.
She had found the one.
Eve’s excitement was infectious. “Try it on.”
With her help Annie stepped into the dress. It took a few minutes as Eve fussed here and there, buttoning the back, straightening and fixing as she went.
Then she stood back, a look on her face that Annie knew she would remember as long as she lived. A mother’s pride. Then she saw the tears in her eyes.
Was she remembering her own daughter’s wedding? Annie hadn’t even thought that this might be difficult for her. “I’m sorry if this makes you sad.”
Eve brushed away the tears. “When Sara got married, I was so proud. And now I get to help you and enjoy this feeling all over again. Thank you.”
Eve guided her to the full-length mirror on the far wall. “What do you think?”
“Oh, my…” The rest of her sentence would remain unspoken. Annie looked at the woman staring back from the mirror and took in every lovely inch of the floor-length gown.
The cream color complemented her complexion better than she could have hoped. The neckline was rounded with a lace yoke. The slightly padded shoulders fit her perfectly. The sleeves were long, fitted and ended in a point over the top of each hand. The bodice was fitted and extended to the waistline. Around her legs, the slightly gathered skirt hung softly, from the waistline, its fullness not overly puffy but very feminine.
“This is it.” She was amazed at the image that stared back at her. “This is the one.”
“It looks beautiful on you,” Eve replied. “Have you decided what to do with your hair?”
Annie felt so at ease with this woman that she told her the truth. “Jared asked if I would wear it down.”
Eve looked stunned. “My son said that?”
Annie nodded. “Just last night.”
“I’m so glad you came into our lives.” She stood back and chuckled. “Mick always had a thing for my long hair, too. I think he almost cried the day I cut it off.”
Annie looked in the mirror again. “I wonder how much this is?”
Eve found the sales ticket pinned to the dress. When she named the price, Annie felt guilty.
“That is not a lot of money for a wedding gown.” She had interpreted Annie’s silence correctly.
“It just seems a little extravagant.”
“Extravagant? This is your wedding, child.”
Annie knew in her heart she was going to buy the gown. “It’s like something out of a fairy tale,” she said. “I feel like a princess.”
Eve chuckled. “I’m glad. That is the way every bride should feel when she steps into her dress. Now let’s find Maggie and let her see what a perfect fit we found.”
Maggie concurred. “The beading on that is very minimal but excellent workmanship.”
“I’ll take it.”
Maggie stood with hands on hips and surveyed her. “It looks like you were born to wear that gown.”
Eve helped her out of the gown and together they put it back on the hanger and covered it with the garment bag Maggie handed them.
Handling it as carefully as the precious contents demanded Annie laid the garment bag on the back seat of the vehicle. “I think we deserve lunch.”
Almost on cue, Annie’s stomach growled and they both laughed. “I guess that was a ‘yes.’”
The day was enjoyable. They found a pair of shoes that would not only complement the dress but would also be comfortable. Against Annie’s protests, Eve took her to a modern woman’s boutique and made a gift of the loveliest nightgown she had ever seen.
“I know this marriage is a little unconventional, but I want you to feel like a bride on your wedding day. I hope you don’t mind.”
“Mind? You’ve taken me under your wing and brought me into your family. You have always made me feel like I had a place to belong.”
“You do belong with us, dear. I only hope that once you’re married, Jared begins to see what a treasure God has given to him in you.”
“I’m no treas—”
“Yes, you are. You’re going to change his life, Annie Dawson, and Mick and I couldn’t be happier.”
Jared had already changed hers. “Thank you for the nightgown. Even if nobody else sees it I’ll feel very special.”
Annie picked up Toby, and then it was time to get the children up from school. She made it with fifteen minutes to spare.
She had just turned off the engine when a tapping at her window had her looking. Susie smiled back and Annie put her window down.
“Jared told Danny the good news this morning when he saw him at the feed store. Congratulations.”
“Thank you.”
“You don’t know how many times we speculated as to why Jared didn’t date any one of the few dozen women who’ve been chasing him in town. Little did we guess that you were waiting in the wings to steal his heart.”
“He’s a very special man. When he asked me it was an easy answer.”
Susie smiled. “I’ll bet it was. When is the big day?”
“We’re seeing Reverend Kane after church this weekend to see when he can schedule us in.”
“If you need help with anything, you just pick up the phone, okay?”
Annie was touched by the thoughtfulness of the offer. She could tell by the tone in her voice that Susie had made it in the genuine spirit of friendship.
She had always been a bright spot Annie could recall from her school days. Many times she had even shared her lunch with Annie, some days bringing extra so there would be enough.
“I would like to invite you and Danny to the wedding.”
Susie brightened like a lightbulb. “We’d love to come. I’ll find a sitter for the children.”
“Oh, children are welcome…if you want to bring them, that is. It’s entirely up to you.”
Susie thought about it for a moment. “I didn’t know…these days some people just don’t want children at a wedding.”
“Children make a wedding special. It will give the boys and Caroline someone to play with afterward.”
“You can be sure my boys are well behaved. And thanks again for the invite.”
“I’ll let you know the time and date.”
Annie had been concentrating on the wedding for another reason. She didn’t want to think about the ramifications if Jared were ever to find out about Toby—that she was the one who had given him up.
Only one other person knew the truth and Annie knew in her heart that Lewis would never breathe a word of it, not even to the man who was his best friend.
It didn’t feel good keeping the secret, especially knowing how Jared felt about the subject. Guilt pricked at her conscience all the time and it was getting harder and harder to quell the turmoil inside her.
She had tried to convince herself what she was doing wasn’t wrong. But even in keeping the truth from Jared, it was good as lying to him outright.
There was a chance that if she told him the truth Jared might be able to eventually see it reasonably, from her view. But she knew he wouldn’t, knew in her heart, remembering the look on his face on that first day when she had broached the subject.
He would not even want her in his life and she was not about to sacrifice the happiness of the children because of a decision she made long before she even met Jared again.
She would try to live with the guilt as best she could.
That Sunday after church, Eve and Mick took the children down the street for milkshakes while Jared and Annie followed Reverend Kane into his office at the back of the building.
As they sat there with the minister, she smoothed her dress nervously until Jared took her hand calmly in his and gave her a reassuring smile that curled her toes.
“We’d like to be married as soon as possible,” said Jared.
Reverend Kane looked a little worried. “Not to pry, but is anything wrong?”
Annie knew exactly what he was trying to ask in the most tactful way possible, but she blushed, anyway. “Nothing’s wrong. We just want it to be soon, so the children can settle down and have some normalcy in their lives again.”
The older man seemed pleased with their response “How about two weeks from today?”
Jared looked at her for confirmation. “It sounds wonderful. I invited Susie and Danny Peters. I hope you don’t mind.”
When Jared smiled, her whole world tilted, but not in a scary way. “Of course not.”
“And your mother? She won’t be attending?” The minister’s enquiry was a quiet one.
“I wouldn’t know where to find her.”
“She was always so full of anger. I remember going out to the house many times but she would never let me in, wouldn’t talk to me.”
“I remember. You would bring food for us.”
“And she would make me leave the boxes on the porch.”
Annie felt ashamed at the way her mother had treated the man of God. “She was that way with everyone, Reverend, not just you.”
He fell silent for endless moments and then he spoke. “I’m glad you found your way back to Guthrie, to our community.” He looked at Jared. “You are very lucky to be getting this young lady.”
“I know it. The children are lucky, too.”
“You’re doing a wonderful job with those kids. It’s an inspiration—just what family is all about.”
Annie listened as the minister went over the normal things he spoke to young couples about as they approached marriage.
His tone was businesslike but friendly, too. He spoke about the sanctity of marriage, the commitment, the love, understanding and patience that was needed. Then he talked about respect, for themselves and for each other.
“Are you okay?” They made their way lazily up the main street an hour later as they went to join his parents and the children.
“I’m fine. It’s just all seeming so real now. I mean setting an actual date, having the dress…”
“Overwhelming?” He tucked her arm over his in a gallant gesture as they walked.
“A month ago I was waiting tables and going home to an empty apartment every night.”
“Now you’re taking on the role of wife, mother and homemaker.”
Annie thought about each of those titles and what they meant to her, what she could bring to them. “And I’ve never been happier. I guess things have just happened so fast.”
“I’m sorry about that.” He paused outside the café. “The lady from family services boxed me into a corner, or I might have put myself there telling her I was planning to get married in the future. Either way, this is the right thing to do,” he said confidently. “The sooner we get this done, the sooner we can settle down with the kids to a normal life. The Lord knows they need stability.”
Annie looked up at him, waiting until he met her eyes with his own. “They have you, Jared. They’ve had your mum and dad. Losing their parents was traumatic but together you have all given them the security they needed.”
He touched her shoulder in a friendly gesture and as he did so, he ran his fingers through hair that fell down her back. “Let’s go in.”
Breathless at the look in his eyes, captured by the accelerated beating of her heart all she could do was nod when he opened the door for her.
Lewis arrived on Thursday afternoon, two days before the wedding. “Well, look at you!”
Annie was putting a batch of scones in the oven when she heard his voice. She turned around with a smile. “I didn’t think you’d be here for another hour or two.”
He walked across the room and hugged her, then set her away from him and looked her up and down. “Rosy, flour-smudged cheeks, bright eyes. Country living…ah, I remember it well.”
Jared came in the door a moment later carrying his friend’s overnight bag. “Hey, find your own woman.”
Something about being called Jared’s woman made Annie want to tremble. Heaven forbid she should do something so silly as giggle like a schoolgirl.
“Unc Loos.”
They all laughed at Toby’s excited greeting from where he sat at the end of the table, playing with his own handful of dough Annie had given him.
“He’ll get the hang of my name someday when he realizes there are more than five letters in the alphabet.” Lewis kissed the top of the boy’s head.
Annie wiped the flour from her hands and took off her apron. “Can I get you some coffee?”
“Sounds good.” He pulled out a chair next to Toby.
Jared grabbed his hat off the wall hook. “I’ll be back in about half an hour. I’ve got to pick the kids up from school.”
“I can go get them if you’d rather visit with Lewis.”
“Just protect my scones.” Jared smiled and gave her a wink, something he’d been doing a lot lately, at odd times when she wasn’t expecting it. “I have to stop off at the tractor store and see if that part I ordered came in.”
“That means I get first dibs on the scones I hear calling my name.” Lewis grinned. “I might leave you one or two.”
Annie put a mug of coffee in front of him. “You could eat them all, I’d just make Jared another batch.”
Lewis looked from Annie to Jared, his expression pleased as punch. “You’re not even married and already you’re spoiling him rotten.”
Jared chuckled. “Do you need me to get you anything in town, Annie?”
“I have everything I need.”
“I’ll be back soon.”
The adults sat in silence listening as the sound of Jared’s truck faded in the distance. Toby spoke to himself in a language only he understood as he played.
“You look like you were made for this kitchen.”
Annie let go a breath of relief. “I love it here, Lewis. Thank you so much for making it possible.”
“You don’t have to thank me.” He looked at Toby. “I can see you in him.”
She, too, looked at her son sitting at the end of the table. He glanced back at her, his smile big and cheerful, the way little boys should smile…carefree and innocent.
“I see it, too. The funny thing is when I see him with Jared and his parents, or with Caroline and Luke, I realize they are his family. I may have brought him into the world but Sara and James gave him a life.”
The ball of dough threatened to roll off the table and Lewis caught it, giving it back to him. “And you don’t think there’s any way Jared would ever accept the fact that—”
“Never. I wish there were some way he could see why I did it, because the guilt is hard to live with.”
“I just thought…well, you two seemed pretty cozy just now and he’s definitely starting to get territorial about you.” At her disbelieving look, he smiled.
“Annie, he may think this marriage is going to be a union of two people sharing nothing more than a love for these kids, but you are going to turn his world upside down.”
“I’m not trying to do that. We have an agreement, an arrangement of what this marriage will be about.”
“All you have to do is be you and he won’t be able to help but fall in love with you.”
Annie was stunned into silence. Jared, fall in love with her? It could never happen…could it?
“You’re wrong.”
“Am I?” He shrugged. “We’ll see.”
After that he expertly changed the subject, catching her up on the latest humorous happenings at his law firm. When the scones were done Annie put them on the table with cream and jam.
No sooner had she set plates out in the middle of the table than Jared and the children came through the door.
“Uncle Lewis!”
Caroline ran over, hugging him, her school bag forgotten on the floor. Jared picked it up and put in on a corner chair.
Annie noticed Luke moved slowly through the doorway behind his uncle. “Sweetie, are you okay?” She felt his forehead.
“I feel yucky.”
Jared patted his shoulder. “I’ll get him some juice.”
Luke settled into a chair, managing a smile for Lewis. Caroline hugged him again and kissed his cheek. “Are you staying?”
“Until Sunday.”
Luke took the glass his uncle held out to him. “I want to show you the rabbits and the guinea pig when I feel better.”
Caroline gained his attention again. “And then you can jump on the trampoline with me.”
“Hold it a minute. I’m gifted, it’s true, but even I can’t do everything at once.”
Jared laughed as he poured himself a cup of coffee.
“Gifted? Is that what they’re calling it these days?”
Lewis shot him a look over Caroline’s head. “Jealousy is a curse, my friend.”
Annie served up afternoon tea as the good-natured bantering went back and forth. She kept a careful eye on Luke, who actually seemed to brighten up a little.
After dinner, Annie packed the dishwasher, smiling at the sound of laughter coming from the living room. When Jared came into the kitchen, she looked up.
“What on earth is he doing in there?”
Jared stood there, hands in his jean pockets, his shirtsleeves rolled up to reveal strong forearms.
“He’s rolling around on the floor pretending to be a giant alien and they have to get past him to reach the toy box.”
“He’s a good man.”
Jared placed his hands on her shoulders and turned her to look at him. Annie expected the jolt that she got by meeting his eyes.
“He brought you back into my life. And you brought the sunshine with you. You’re a one of a kind.”
A one of a kind who was lying to him, she thought, swallowing the sick feeling in her throat. “How is Luke?”
“He fell asleep watching television so I took him up and put him to bed. I’ll go check on him.”
When she was alone, Annie, closed her eyes. “I can’t fall in love with him.”
Her purpose here was not to fall in love with a man who would never love her. Annie wasn’t that fond of heartache.
The sun shone brightly on the morning of the wedding. Eve was determined that the bride and groom would not see each other before the ceremony.
She had spent yesterday afternoon getting food prepared and stored in the extra refrigerator Sara had kept in the laundry room. She had spent last night here with Annie.
Watching Jared pack up the boys to take them to spend the night with his father and Lewis had been wrenching. They hadn’t planned on Caroline going along, but she was adamant.
So they had compromised. She could go with her brothers and uncle to stay the night with her grandfather, but in the morning she would come back here to get ready.
Early this morning, when it was still dark, Annie had prowled the house, actually feeling Jared’s absence, missing the children even though they were only a mile away.
Luke had called her on the phone so she could say good-night to him and even Jared admitted that when Luke had handed him the phone, he couldn’t wait until they were all living permanently under one roof.
Now she lay here in the spare bedroom Jared had said would be hers once they were married. Today she would say the words and make the promises the reverend asked of her.
Those vows would make her and Jared partners—friends uniting for a worthy cause.
“Annie?”
“Come in.” The door opened and her soon to be mother-in-law came in balancing a breakfast tray in one hand.
“I’m spoiling you today.” Annie sat up in the bed. It looked like a feast fit for a queen with an omelette, toast and a cup of tea.
“Thank you so much.”
“You go at your own pace today. Mick is going to bring Caroline over here and then he’ll help Jared get the boys ready.”
Annie wished the little girl had thawed toward her and the marriage. Caroline had accepted that the wedding would happen, but she hadn’t changed her mind about Annie or her place in their lives.
“I can only hope Caroline will want to be in the wedding photographs.”
Eve sat down on the edge of the bed. “Caroline is on her own time clock. You’ve been patient and caring toward her. You’re doing fine. Caroline usually works things out, she just takes a little longer.”
“And this is a big event in her life.”
“Deep down, my granddaughter knows you’re not trying to replace Sara, but maybe part of her is afraid that to like you is being disloyal to her mother.”
“Jared had the same thoughts.”
“She’ll come around, I promise. I live in hope that someday I see love in Jared’s eyes for you, Annie. Every woman deserves that love…and my son deserves the chance to experience it with a kind and gentle young woman like you.”
Eve walked to the door. “You have about six hours before the wedding to be lazy and relax.”
“I’m going to take a nice long bath and try not to think about how nervous I am.”
“I can almost assure you my son is more nervous than you are.”
When she was alone, Annie leaned her head back on the pillow. “Lord, You’ve brought me this far. Bless what Jared and I do today and know that our marriage is born of good intentions, if not love.”
Jared was up before anyone else. He’d fixed breakfast for his father and the boys in his mother’s kitchen. He was just finishing up the dishes when his father came in.
“How do you feel this morning, son?”
“Like I want to be back in my own house with Annie.”
His father raised an eyebrow and smiled. “Really.”
“Yeah, you don’t know how many times I had to read the boys their bedtime story.” His father’s disappointment was obvious. “Apparently I don’t give all the characters different voices like Annie does.”
He was not about to admit to his father that after just a few weeks, he had grown so used to having Annie here that her absences at night were starting to leave a hole.
“I’m going to get Caroline over to the house.”
“She hasn’t been very talkative.”
Mick waved away his concerns. “She’ll get used to the idea of Annie. That young lady has a way of winning people over.”
Jared knew exactly what his father was speaking of. “When she asked me last week if I would give her away, I…I got choked up. I’m a very lucky man.”
Jared remembered how pleased Annie had been when Mick had wholeheartedly agreed to give her away. At first she’d worried about upsetting him, but Jared had known his father would do it.
Caroline came downstairs then, her overnight bag over her shoulder.
“Do I get a hug from my best girl?”
She shrugged but put her arms around Jared. “I guess after today I won’t be your best girl anymore.”
Jared gave her a squeeze and set her away so he could look her in the eye. “Caroline, you are so wrong. Nothing is going to change. I told you Annie and I have one concern—keeping us together as a family.”
He could see in her eyes that she didn’t believe him. It would be an uphill battle with her, but Jared was determined that she would come to realize the truth.
“Come on, sweetie.” Mick held out his hand. “Grandma is waiting to do your hair.”
Her sigh was one of resignation. At the doorway, she turned to Jared. “I can’t wait for today to be over.” With an unhappy expression she was gone.
Later, with the boys down for a nap, Jared had insisted they needed to get through the day, and with Caroline gone, the house was quiet.
Jared sat at the kitchen table wondering how Annie had breathed her own brand of life back into his family in just a short space of time.
Was she nervous today? he wondered. He’d lain awake last night thinking of her in the home they’d been sharing, a house that would see them through good times and bad.
Annie wasn’t the kind of woman he had ever imagined himself with. After Melanie, Jared had begun to think perhaps he was incapable of making any woman happy. But Annie made it seem so easy now. Around her he could be himself, he felt no pressure and they were uniting for a common cause that was close to both their hearts.
He would do the best he could so that she never regretted marrying him and being a mother to the children.
Annie was the last to get ready that afternoon. Caroline hadn’t said very much to her since she arrived and obviously wasn’t excited about the proceedings ahead. Eve had enough exuberance to keep Caroline smiling at least some of the time and to save Annie from reliving her earlier bout of nerves.
Annie watched as Eve did her granddaughter’s hair, drying and brushing it until it hung down Caroline’s back in a shiny cascade.
The dress the little girl had chosen was emerald green, a very simple style with a deep green belt at the waist and lace on the short sleeves. She was putting on her best shoes when Annie complimented her on how beautiful she looked. Her reply was a murmured “thank you.”
But if Caroline’s attitude was subdued, Eve’s was as lively as a firecracker and a keg of energy besides. When Annie opened the bedroom door to her a little later, Eve’s exclamation made Annie smile.
“Oh my!”
Annie smoothed her hand over the delicate fabric that clung to her. “I think we picked the right dress.”
Eve came into the room. “You picked the right dress.”
“I feel funny inside, not quite nerves, and not quite butterflies.”
Eve reached for Annie’s veil, which was hanging near the mirror. “Don’t even try to explain the feeling, Annie. I’ve been there and trust me, there are no words. Even now, more than thirty years later, I still couldn’t describe it if someone asked me to.”
Annie stood still as Eve set the veil in place. She had worked hard on her hair to get it just right. She was leaving it long today as Jared had asked.
Eve turned her toward the mirror when she was done. Secured in her hair by a seemingly invisible clip, the semicircle of small daisies and tiny rosebuds that Eve had worked on last night was the most beautiful thing she had seen.
Edged in fine lace, the veil ended just past her hips. Annie realized she had her wish. She looked very old-world Victorian.
In the mirror, she saw Caroline come to the doorway. “What do you think, sweetie? Isn’t Annie beautiful?”
“You look very pretty.” The words were nice but there was no warmth in her voice. Still, Annie felt hopeful.
She slipped into the white pumps she’d bought and picked up the lovely bouquet Eve had made.
A car came up the driveway. “The boys are here, both big and small.” Eve let the curtain fall back into place. “And the Peterses rolled in right behind them.”
Caroline was gone in an instant.
“Does Jared look nervous?”
“Jared never looks anything but totally in control,” Eve said. “You have to look into his eyes to see his emotions. He can’t hide it there.”
Eve looked thoughtful for a moment. “The buffet is ready, the chairs are out in the garden.” She cinched her bathrobe tighter around her. “I’m going to finish getting dressed. When everyone is ready and Reverend Kane arrives, I’ll send Mick up for you.”
Annie took a deep breath. “I’ll be here.”
Eve gave her one last hug. “Today is your day, Annie, enjoy it. As far as I’m concerned, you are the best thing that has happened to my son in a long time.”
Annie paced as time ticked by. She adjusted her veil and straightened her hose, nervous tension making her fuss.
When Mick knocked on the door half an hour later, Annie fought butterflies in her stomach that seemed as big as jumbo jets. He smiled the minute he saw her. How distinguished he looked in his suit and navy blue tie.
“I’m ready.”
He tucked her hand in the crook of his arm. “I couldn’t be more proud of you if you were my own daughter. Shall we go and get you married to my son?”
“There’s nothing else I would rather do today.”
Mick wore the smile all the way out of the room and was still beaming when they walked out into the backyard and into the garden that Sara and James had lovingly landscaped and planted.
Sara’s beloved sunflowers made a beautiful backdrop to the day. They were the first things she saw as she walked out into the soft sunlight.
When she saw Jared, her heart sung as if a choir had burst to life inside her.