Notes

CHAPTER 1: THE STORY BEFORE THE STORY

   1.  “Mental Health by the Numbers,” National Alliance on Mental Illness, https://www.nami.org/learn-more/mental-health-by-the-numbers.

CHAPTER 2: THE UNINVITED GUEST

   1.  “Panic Disorder: When Fear Overwhelms,” National Institute of Mental Health, 2016, https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/panic-disorder-when-fear-overwhelms/index.shtml.

   2.  Mayo Clinic Staff, “Panic Attacks and Panic Disorder,” Mayo Clinic, May 4, 2018, https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/panic-attacks/symptoms-causes/syc-20376021.

   3.  Wayne Cordeiro, Leading on Empty: Refilling your Tank and Renewing Your Passion (Bloomington, MN: Bethany House Publishers, 2009), 32–33.

   4.  Craig L. Blomberg, The New American Commentary: An Exegetical and Theological Exposition of Holy Scripture, vol. 22, Matthew (Nashville: B&H Publishing, 1992), 159.

CHAPTER 3: HOW DID WE END UP HERE?

   1.  “Major Depression,” National Institute of Mental Health, updated February 2019, https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/statistics/major-depression.shtml.

   2.  Carol Stoecklein, “Moving Toward the Mess,” part 3 of Hot Mess sermon series (Chino, CA: Inland Hills Church, November 2018), video shared by Inland Hills Church, December 3, 2018, on YouTube, 47:27, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SpUfBgW4ZpM.

CHAPTER 4: TO THE BACK OF THE CAVE

   1.  C. S. Lewis, Mere Christianity (New York: Macmillan, 1960), 49–50.

   2.  Mariana Plata, “When Isolating Yourself Becomes Dangerous,” Psychology Today, August 29, 2018, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-gen-y-psy/201808/when-isolating-yourself-becomes-dangerous.

   3.  Julianne Holt-Lunstad, Timothy B. Smith, and J. Bradley Layton, “Social Relationships and Mortality Risk: A Meta-Analytic Review,” PLOS Medicine 7, no. 7 (July 2010), https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pmed.1000316.

   4.  Jane Sandwood, “How Isolation Impacts Mental Health,” Mental Health Connecticut, September 1, 2017, http://www.mhconn.org/uncategorized/isolation-impacts-mental-health/.

CHAPTER 5: STRANGER THINGS

   1.  Merriam-Webster, s.v. “edify,” https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/edify#note-1.

CHAPTER 6: HOT MESS

   1.  “Suicide Facts,” Suicide Awareness Voices of Education, https://save.org/about-suicide/suicide-facts/.

   2.  “Suicide,” National Institute of Mental Health, updated April 2019, https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/statistics/suicide.shtml.

   3.  “Suicide,” NIMH.

   4.  Saint Augustine, The City of God, trans. Marcus Dods (New York: Modern Library, 1950), 37.

   5.  Pope John Paul II et al., Catechism of the Catholic Church, 2nd ed., (Rome: Libreria Editrice Vaticana, 1997), https://www.vatican.va/archive/ccc_css/archive/catechism/p3s2c2a5.htm.

   6.  Shauna H. Springer, “Is Suicide Selfish? Understanding the Suicidal Mind,” Psychology Today, June 11, 2018, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/free-range-psychology/201806/is-suicide-selfish.

   7.  Edwin S. Shneidman, Autopsy of a Suicidal Mind (New York: Oxford University Press, 2004), 8.

CHAPTER 7: GOODBYE TO EVERYTHING

   1.  Kayla Stoecklein (@kaylasteck), Instagram, August 25, 2018, https://www.instagram.com/p/Bm5B1zWnqWb.

   2.  Kayla Stoecklein (@kaylasteck), Instagram, August 26, 2018, https://www.instagram.com/p/Bm8wJ6XH397.

   3.  Kayla Stoecklein, “To My Andrew,” God’s Got This (blog), August 28, 2018, https://www.godsgotthis.com/blog/to-my-andrew-its-only-been-3-days-nothing-can.

   4.  Andrew Stoecklein, “Mess to Masterpiece,” part 2 of Hot Mess sermon series (Chino, CA: Inland Hills Church, August 19, 2018), video shared by Inland Hills Church, August 20, 2018, on YouTube, 57:23, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sBWhbn8cMJE.

   5.  Stoecklein, “Mess to Masterpiece,” 57:16.

   6.  Stoecklein, 58:21.

CHAPTER 8: ONE PLOT OR TWO

   1.  Kayla Stoecklein, “Mess to Miracle,” God’s Got This (blog), August 31, 2018, https://www.godsgotthis.com/blog/mess-to-miracle-to-my-andrew-today-marks-one.

   2.  Merriam-Webster, s.v. “surrender (v.),” https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/surrender.

   3.  Sue Towey, ed., “Impact of Fear and Anxiety,” Taking Charge of Your Health & Wellbeing, University of Minnesota, https://www.takingcharge.csh.umn.edu/impact-fear-and-anxiety.

CHAPTER 9: NEW WINE

   1.  Levi Lusko, Through the Eyes of a Lion: Facing Impossible Pain, Finding Incredible Power (Nashville: W Publishing Group, 2015), 24.

   2.  Kayla Stoecklein, “Wrapped Up in a Cocoon,” God’s Got This (blog), September 4, 2018, https://www.godsgotthis.com/blog/wrapped-up-in-a-cocoon-to-my-andrew-tonight.

   3.  “Butterfly Life Cycle,” Academy of Natural Sciences of Drexel University, https://ansp.org/exhibits/online-exhibits/butterflies/lifecycle/.

   4.  Andrew Stoecklein, “Grief,” part 3 of Endurance sermon series (Chino, CA: Inland Hills Church, October 1, 2017), https://inland hillschurch.com/endurance/grief/.

   5.  C. S. Lewis, A Grief Observed (New York: HarperOne, 1996), 11.

   6.  John M. Grohol, “Coping with Grief: The Ball & the Box,” Psych Central, updated September 11, 2019, https://psychcentral.com/blog/coping-with-grief-the-ball-the-box/.

   7.  L. B. Cowman, Streams in the Desert, rev. ed., ed. Jim Reimann (Nashville: Zondervan, 2008), 439–40.

CHAPTER 10: REBUILDING BEAUTIFUL

   1.  Kayla Stoecklein, “Six Months,” God’s Got This (blog), February 25, 2019, https://www.godsgotthis.com/blog/2019/2/25/six-months.

CHAPTER 11: GOD’S GOT THIS

   1.  Kayla Stoecklein, “In Kuai as It Is in Heaven,” God’s Got This (blog), August 25, 2019, https://www.godsgotthis.com/blog/oneyear.

   2.  Dave Stoecklein, “Lessons from Leukemia: Part 1,” sermon (Chino, CA: Inland Hills Church, August 5, 2012), video shared by Inland Hills Church on Vimeo, 57:41, https://vimeo.com/47110358.

   3.  Andrew Stoecklein, “Lessons from Leukemia: Part 2,” sermon (Chino, CA: Inland Hills Church, August 12, 2012), video shared by Inland Hills Church on Vimeo, 43:51, https://vimeo.com/47535954.

   4.  F. B. Meyer quoted in L. B. Cowman, Streams in the Desert, rev. ed., ed. Jim Reimann (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2008), 32.