Despite the threat of war, life carried on. It had been a hard winter and everyone welcomed the spring. The days were longer and the nights were warmer. It was a time of new beginnings. Everything that had been asleep came to life and turned black and white into glorious colour. Crocuses pushed their way through the earth and emerged in glorious shades of white, purple, yellow and orange. The air was fresh and the sky was blue. Bright yellow daffodils swayed in the cool breeze and sweet-smelling honeysuckle wrapped itself around hedgerows.
Jack and I spent a lot of our time walking on the Downs. The rolling green hills were dotted with white daisies and yellow dandelions and golden buttercups. Sometimes we would stand very still at the top of the Devil’s Dyke and just listen. We decided that the whispering grass had a language all its own. We listened as the wind picked up the sound and carried it across the hills and out towards the sea. Nature seemed to be putting on a show just for me and Jack, or maybe it was for all young lovers. We gloried in it, we gloried in each other.
‘Remember when it was snowing and we used Brenda’s old pushchair as a sledge?’ said Jack.
‘I remember everything,’ I said.
‘Did you love me then?’ he said, smiling.
‘I always loved you.’
‘And I never knew.’
‘But you do now.’
‘We wasted a lot of time.’
‘No we didn’t because even when you didn’t know I loved you, we were still together. We still share the same memories. You were my friend and I was yours and anyway, Monica says you have to like someone before you can love them. I think I’m right in saying that you always liked me.’
‘You were OK, I suppose… for a girl.’
‘Jack Forrest!’ I said, punching him playfully on the arm.
‘Race you down the hill!’ he said, running away from me.
I caught up with him and he pulled me down onto the grass and we lay there, looking up at the blue sky and the bright yellow sun.
We hadn’t seen much of Nelson and we both missed him. It seemed ages until his next leave; this time he was staying at my house.
Jack, Monica and I met Nelson at the station. I was so happy to see him – I hadn’t seen him for so long. We all hugged. The sun was shining as the three of us walked out of Brighton station. He only had a small bag with him so we headed straight to the seafront. A new cafe had opened up under the prom. It had tables and chairs outside so Monica and I sat down while the boys got cups of tea for us all.
‘Nelson looks so grown-up, doesn’t he?’ said Monica.
‘Are you warming to him then?’ I said, grinning.
‘Not in that way, daft.’
‘Cos he’s skint?’
Monica laughed. ‘Not just that, Maureen.’
‘What, then?’
‘I think that you and Jack make a very good pair, because both of you are blind as bats.’
‘What are you talking about?’
‘Nelson’s only got eyes for you, Maureen.’
‘For me?’
‘Yes, you.’
‘We’re just friends, Monica.’
‘Isn’t that what Jack said to you? He thought you were just friends?’
‘I know, but…’
‘But nothing. That poor boy has been mooning over you for as long as you’ve been mooning over Jack.’
‘Jack said he thought that Nelson and I might get together.’
‘Not so blind after all then.’
‘What am I going to do about it?’
‘There’s nothing you can do about it. Nelson knows how you’ve always felt about Jack. It will be no surprise to him that you’re together at last.’
‘I’ve always talked to him about Jack. He’s always known that Jack is the only boy for me but now I feel bad.’
‘Don’t. Nelson is a lovely chap and there’s a very lucky girl out there somewhere just waiting for him to sweep her off her feet.’
‘I wish he wasn’t staying at my house now.’
‘Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything,’ said Monica. ‘Nothing’s any different to how it’s always been. He’s still Nelson.’
‘But if he feels like that about me, then he must be hurting and I’d hate to think that.’
‘Nelson thinks enough of you to be glad for you. When you love someone you want what makes them happy. I think, in his heart, Nelson knew that there was a chance that you and Jack would end up together and he’ll be glad for you.’
‘Monica?’
‘Yes?’
‘I know that Jack cares for me and wants to be with me but…’
‘But what?’
‘He’s never told me that he loves me. He’s never said the actual words.’
‘That’s because he’s a boy,’ said Monica. ‘Boys seem to find it hard to say those three words. If it’s really bothering you, then you’ll have to ask him. You’ll have to say, “Do you love me, Jack?” Then you’ll know for sure.’
‘I’m not going to ask him, it won’t mean the same.’
‘Then you’ll just have to be patient, and if anyone can do patient, you can.’
We couldn’t say any more because just then the boys came back with the tea.
‘Our Nelson’s learning to drive tanks,’ said Jack, putting the cups and saucers on the table.
‘I don’t think I’d like to be cooped up in a tank,’ said Monica, blowing into her cup.
‘I didn’t like it myself at first,’ said Nelson, sitting down. ‘I felt a bit trapped. But now I feel differently about it. The alternative is hand-to-hand battle. I’d rather have a ton of steel between me and a bullet, I can tell you.’
‘Do you think you will be going into battle?’
‘I keep praying that something will happen to stop this war but the longer it goes on, the more I fear it’s inevitable. We’ve just been told that the German flag has been raised in Prague.’
None of us spoke for a while. We just sat there sipping our tea and thinking our own thoughts.
‘Bloody men! Present company excluded, but bloody men,’ said Monica. ‘It’s not women who start wars, is it?’
‘I can think of a few,’ said Jack. ‘Cleopatra, for a start, and then there was Boudica, Joan of Ark, Matilda of Tuscany… Shall I go on?’
‘OK, clever clogs,’ said Monica, grinning.
‘Just saying,’ said Jack.
I loved listening to Jack; I loved that he was so clever. I hoped that I would be enough for him and that he wouldn’t tire of me because I didn’t know all the stuff he knew. He was mixing with really intelligent girls every day at university; he must realise that I would never be like them, not in a million years. Jack was still speaking.
‘So you see, Monica, it’s not just bloody men that start wars, it’s bloody women as well.’
She made a face. ‘What else are they teaching you, Nelson?’
Nelson looked sad for a moment as he sat there looking out across the sea.
‘They are teaching me how to kill people, Monica,’ he said.