Zoey was shaking in Caynin’s arms, burrowing her head in his chest. When she pulled away from him slightly, his shirt was wet from her tears, and she tried to remember when she had started crying. She blinked and studied her surroundings. She was in the small, private courtyard outside Caynin’s room, he was sitting on a stone bench, holding her, and ice walls surrounded them. Zoey was thankful for the walls because this way no Fata could see her this weak. They had laughed at her, and all the horrible things she had seen and endured returned to her.
“Caynin, what’s going on?” she finally asked. She could not look into his eyes and hid her face in his chest.
“Welcome back,” Caynin said. “I brought you here where we waited for the magic to wear off.”
“Magic?”
“Whatever magic it was that made you hallucinate,” he said.
She realized what he was saying and pulled away from his chest to look into his eyes. “Hallucinate? Does that mean Violet is alive?”
“She is alive,” Caynin said.
Zoey sighed with relief then looked down at herself. She was in her underwear and wrapped in a soft blanket. Suddenly, she felt humiliated. Faeries were not conservative, but she was. Her body was so cold, she feared that if it weren’t for Caynin’s body heat she would have frozen to death.
As if he knew what she was thinking, Caynin said, “I offered you a robe, but you refused it.”
That robe lay on the floor, and she knew he was telling the truth. “I thought you told Rane he could kill me.” She could still feel Rane’s foot on her face.
“I did not.” Caynin put his hand on her cheek so that he could make her look at him. “I would never.”
Zoey didn’t want to cry, but she had endured so much. The aftereffects were lingering; the things she had seen did not want to go away. She wanted to stop crying but couldn’t. Caynin’s arms were around her for support. He was strong so that she didn’t have to be.
Zoey considered the black flower she had found in her room, the one she had thought was from Caynin. The note had read: May this flower bring joy and laughter to the kingdom.
“Did you leave a black flower in my room?” she asked, although she already knew the answer.
“No.” Caynin’s embrace tightened slightly. “What did it look like?”
“It’s the blackest flower I have ever seen, and it’s shaped almost like a rose. And it stinks.”
Caynin hesitated before answering. “It’s called Black Illusion. When this flower’s scent is inhaled, it affects you by making you hallucinate your worst fears. It can make you relive terrible moments or show you things hidden in your subconscious and conscious mind.”
Zoey inhaled shakily. “It all seemed so real.”
“The flower is strong; it even works on us – the Enerly. We can use it to control the minds of our enemies by giving the enemy a gift with a hidden flower petal in and keeping the stem of the flower ourselves. You don’t have to inhale the scent of the flower for it to work. In this case, you only need to touch the petal while the controller touches the stem. This way you are linked, and the controller can make you see whatever they want.”
Zoey shook her head, and more tears leaked from her eyes. But Caynin didn’t look down on her for showing weakness. He comforted her, and that made her feel safe enough to express her emotions. “It was terrible! Everything I feared came true. Rane tried to kill me. Eric doesn’t love me. Violet died.”
Her voice broke, and Caynin held her a little bit tighter. He was the one solid thing in her world that hadn’t crumbled.
“None of those things were real.”
“They felt real.”
She thought about the man climbing out of the bath with his sword. She had watched him murder two Fata! That had been part of the hallucinations, but when she had seen him on the unicorn, that had really happened. She had called him a murderer.
“Did I yell at someone on a unicorn?” The man on the unicorn had looked so evil, and it had felt wrong to see him on the back of such a pure creature.
“Yes.” There was no anger in Caynin’s voice. “That was Ruler Tarragon.”
“Tarragon.” No wonder he looked wrong on the unicorn – he was never supposed to rule the kingdom, Calico was. He was a big, bear-like male, and the unicorn seemed too gentle to be his steed. How had he ended up in her hallucination when she did not know him and had never seen him before? Yet in her hallucination, he had appeared identical to how he did in real life. “Damn.”
“Don’t be embarrassed,” Caynin said. “None of this is your fault.”
But she was embarrassed. She had been running around the castle half naked, screaming and crying over things that weren’t there. Surely everyone thought her a fool.
May this flower bring joy and laughter to the kingdom.
“Do you have any idea who gave you the flower?” he wondered.
Zoey had seen the Black Illusion flower in Kismet’s windowsill along with the Fluver-luzile. Kismet disliked her – enough to try to feed her to the leopards. She was constantly watching Zoey, even when Zoey was sword fighting with Caynin. She was a nasty, jealous female who’d had it in for Zoey since day one. There was no doubt in Zoey’s mind that she had left the flower there.
But Zoey had no proof.
If she told Caynin it was Kismet, and he decided to step in, it would look like she couldn’t fight her own battles. Besides, if Caynin punished Kismet without having proof that she was guilty, it would make him look bad.
“I don’t know who gave me the flower.” She pressed her face into Caynin’s chest so that he could not read her expression and tell that she was lying.
“This should never have happened,” Caynin growled, sounding tired.
He had given his protection to her, yet this has happened. “You feel guilty.”
“I knew the Eternity Kingdoms weren’t safe for humans.”
She hugged him tightly, wishing they’d never separate. “It’s not your fault I got myself cursed. You’ve only ever been good to me.”
Caynin’s arms around her slackened, and he did not reply. They sat in each other’s embrace for a long time.
***
Caynin had walked Zoey, still wrapped in the blanket, to her room. He took the Black Illusion and the note with when he left. Once he was gone, Zoey dropped the blanket to the floor and tried not to think how everyone had stared at her, despite Caynin being at her side. Had Caynin not been there, she might have sunk to the ground, in a tiny heap, and cried again. She drew herself a warm bath and watched her own reflection cautiously before getting in.
She let the warm water calm her mind and soothe her sore body. Her eyes hurt from the crying, and her chest still felt tight, as she thought how Caynin had held her, soothed her. She washed herself and tried to clear her mind.
By the time she got out of the bath, it was late, and she wanted nothing more than to sleep. She wanted to crawl under her blankets and never emerge. But if she did that, Kismet would win. Kismet wanted to humiliate her, and she had. She wanted Zoey to give up, to stay away. Zoey would never give her the satisfaction.
She opened her closet and found a long-sleeved, peach-colored dress. It fit tightly around her waist and flared around her hips. The dress was elegant, like something she would wear if she were going to watch ballet. She put stockings on under the long skirt, boots, and a fluffy white coat.
Zoey left her room with her head held high and walked confidently while hiding every bit of her humiliation. She deliberately chose a route past Kismet’s room – hoping the female would see her. This way, Kismet would think her little trick hadn’t done any long-term damage. Zoey made her way to the hall that led into the dining room, and she did not ask to be invited inside. She strolled in, with her heart hammering, and a fake smile on her face. Caynin was seated at the head of the table, with Rane and Tarragon on either side.
Seeing Tarragon sent chills down her spine. He had not really killed two Fata in her room – it had been a hallucination. He looked surprised to see her, almost as surprised as Rane. Surely after the scene she had made earlier, Rane knew that she feared him. She deliberately went closer and sat down next to him.
“I am sorry I’m late,” she said politely and crossed one leg over the other.
“Do you dine here often, human?” Tarragon did not bother to hide his surprise.
“I do,” she told him as she looked into his dark eyes. “And my name is Zoey.”
Tarragon smiled. Did her bravery impress or anger him? From where he sat, Caynin was grinning, and she knew he was enjoying every second of this. Did he entertain petty games to distract himself from all the stress and responsibilities he had as a prince? From what she could tell, he took good care of his faeries – they were all healthy, happy, and safe.
“What does the queen think of being kept company by a human?” Tarragon asked Caynin.
“She has not joined us for dinner in a long time.” Caynin sipped his wine.
Rane was tense next to Zoey, like a ticking time-bomb. She did not have a plate in front of her which meant they had not expected her to join them for dinner, but Caynin was not telling her to leave either.
Tarragon gazed at Zoey. “I have not dined with a human, well, ever.”
“That’s a shame. I’m much better company than these two,” she said sweetly.
Rane snorted, and Caynin tipped his wine glass toward her.
“You don’t even have a plate.” Tarragon clearly knew she was not meant to be there.
Caynin was about to say something, but Zoey spoke first, “Great personality.”
“What?”
“Oh, I’m sorry. I thought we were naming things the other doesn’t have.”
Tarragon leaned closer to her, across the table. He had one arm on either side of his plate as he said, “Go dine with the street rats, where you belong.”
“Dining with one street-rat is more than enough,” she hissed back.
Rane choked on his wine. Maybe he was right after all – she was arrogant. She was using this arrogance to mask her fear, insulting Tarragon to show him she would not back away or cower. Caynin’s grin had vanished, and he was gaping at her. It was nice to know she could still surprise him, although she doubted she’d ever be as unpredictable as he was.
Then Tarragon laughed and sat back in his chair. “I have never seen a human resist compulsion like that before.” Only then did she realize he had been compelling her to ‘dine with the street rats’. “You must be the girl everyone is talking about. The one who volunteered for the Three Trials.”
“The one and only.” Had the ice had been broken?
Rane was as quiet as the grave, and Caynin looked like he was watching a comedy. He leaned back, relaxed in his chair, and did not intervene in their conversation.
“Bella!” Tarragon called as he kept his eyes on Zoey.
Bella appeared in the doorway, moments later, and Zoey had to fight to keep her face placid. Bella had crazy red hair that hung around her face. She had too many freckles to count, and she wore a servant’s uniform like Fleur’s.
Bella was the weirdly dressed woman who had appeared in the hospital to tell Zoey about the Fluver-luzile.