Exorcism is the final stage of your diet. When you’ve reached your target weight, or perhaps your house is surrounded by incensed villagers with pitchforks, give your local Crapper Clinic a call and we’ll fix you up with an exorcist of your choice.
We have exorcists of all denominations, and every possible orientation. And we have exorcism ceremonies to match all pocketbooks. You can have the event catered ... even filmed, or you could have a quiet exorcism in your own home. It’s up to you.
But is it dangerous?
Some people — the Skeptical, the Cruel, the Uninformed and the Mean-spirited (SCUM for short) — like to spread LIES about exorcisms, painting the process as dangerous and excruciatingly painful. I expect they say the same about childbirth. In a way that’s what exorcism is — the birth of the new, slimline you.
And it’s an entirely natural process — a few incantations, a little salt, an encouraging word or two. It’s NOTHING to be frightened of as long as you use a board-certified exorcist. At Crapper Clinics ALL our exorcists have been certified. Some more than once!
Visit our website at www.CrapperClinics.con to view our latest list of exorcists sorted by:
Denomination:
Anglican
Roman Catholic
Martian Catholic
Wiccan
Latter Day Charismatic Anabaptist Hussite Alliance (non aligned)
Santerian
LaVeyan Satanist
Demonic (various)
and Orientation:
Head facing forward
Head facing backward
No head
NEW to Crapper Clinics! From next year you’ll be able to keep in touch with your old demon via Possessed Reunited (www.fiendsreunited.con) a website run by Crapper Clinics.