I screamed uncontrollably when I saw the hole in the dress. Hearing me, Shahaab dropped the scissors. I was quivering all over as though I were connected to a live wire. I put my hands over my mouth to stop screaming, while my eyes were popping out of my skull. I said, ‘Oh my God! What have you done!’ and charged towards him. He ran for the stairs as fast as his little legs could carry him. He rushed upstairs, shut the door and tried to lock it, but I knew he couldn’t do it. I ran after him with shaking legs. I only made it halfway up the stairs and had to hang on to the banister to regain my balance. I yelled, ‘Come down here, you rascal! What am I going to do with you? You’ll be the death of me.’ After a bit of yelling and screaming all my anger was drained and I was on the verge of tears. I sat on the stairs, put my head in my hands and began to cry. I don’t know how long I had been weeping when I felt Shahaab’s small, light hand on my hair. I knew that he couldn’t bear to see me cry, but I didn’t realize he was even willing to be punished and smacked to stop me from crying.
What was I supposed to do with him? I looked at him. His large hazel eyes were filled with tears, and the sadness on his face made my stomach clench. He was in pain too and I could feel it. I hugged him and said, ‘Why? Why do you cause so much trouble? You used to be such a good boy. What happened to you?’ He hung his head. ‘I know you do all these things out of spite, but this will only make things worse. Do you realize what you just did to me? Do you think you only hurt Aunt Shahin? With every bad thing you do, you hurt me more than anyone else. Don’t you love me? Don’t you?’
He burst out crying and tears streamed down his face. He hid himself in my arms. ‘If you love me, just stop doing these things. Tell me if anyone bothers you and I’ll deal with them myself. You don’t need to do anything.’ He looked at me quizzically and I realized my mistake. ‘No, you don’t need to say anything. I’ll find out if anyone bothers you, and more importantly, God will see and hear everything too, and will teach them a lesson better than you can. He will take care of you. Just control yourself, and let God and me handle everything, okay? Will you promise? If you only love me a little bit you’ll stop doing these things. Otherwise I’ll die from sadness. I almost died when I saw the dress just now. Do you want me to die? Then you won’t have a mother any more.’
He pressed his head against my shoulder. I gently unwrapped his hands from around my neck, looked into his eyes and said, ‘Then you promise? Right?’ He nodded his head. ‘You promise that if anyone hurts you, you’ll come straight to me?’ He nodded again. We both felt calmer.
I got up and went back to the dress. I looked at the hole in fear. The only option was to separate the skirt from the top and replace the damaged piece. I went to the kitchen and poured myself some tea to regain some of my lost energy. After a few minutes I suddenly jumped up. Where was Shahaab? What if he was causing more trouble? I ran back to the room and saw him trying to tape back the cut-out piece with his small hands. My eyes filled with tears and I said, ‘It won’t work this way, darling. Don’t worry about it. I know what to do so no one will find out.’
I took the hanger off the door, grabbed the dress and began unstitching the skirt. He sat next to me and watched me with curiosity and worry. I spread out the skirt on the floor. Its many folds opened up and I saw that the damaged piece was next to a seam. I cut out a long strip of the fabric and gave it to Shahaab. ‘Here you are, but make sure no one sees it.’ But he scrunched up the fabric in disgust and threw it in the bin. I brought the sewing machine and started to fold the skirt and sew the seam.
At the sound of the garage door opening Shahaab ran to the window. I whispered, ‘Go to your room and lie down.’ He ran up the stairs. Nasser and Arash walked in. I tried to act naturally and said, ‘You’re home early today!’
‘You asked me to pick Arash up and come home early so we would get to the henna ceremony.’
‘I know, but I thought you’d forget.’
‘What are you doing? Isn’t the dress done yet?’
‘It is, but it got stained a bit. I brought it over to clean, but it got worse. I had to replace a piece. The dress has so many folds that no one will notice. Just be careful you don’t blurt anything out.’
‘You’re so careless! You’re as bad as your child.’
‘What do you mean, careless? Accidents happen. I was worried about Shahaab.’
‘Why? Did anything happen again?’
‘No, it’s just that he’s ill. I’m worried about him. He’s been sleeping all day.’
‘That’s a relief. At least he didn’t cause more trouble. You should start getting ready if you want to get to the ceremony on time.’
‘No, you go ahead. I have to finish the dress before anyone finds out.’
‘What? What am I going to tell them? They need your help there.’
‘They don’t need my help. The best thing I can do for them is to finish this dress. We got everything done this morning. Akram and her daughter are coming to help too. Shadi stayed with Fereshteh. Go and pick her up, and tell them Shahaab’s sick and I have to stay with him. They’ll be pleased if the kids aren’t around anyway. If they need help serving supper, give me a call and we’ll come over.’
Arash went and picked Shadi up, but he said that Fereshteh had begged him to take her back this evening because they had rehearsed a dance for the guests. I bathed her, dressed her and tied a pink ribbon around her beautiful hair. I put her in Nasser’s arms and walked them to the door. When I turned around I saw Shahaab looking after them enviously.
It was dark when I finished repairing the dress, but I still had a lot more to do. I had to finish the sequins. I was tired and my eyes were weary. I was so deep in thought that I’d forgotten all about Shahaab, but he showed up carrying a bottle of water and two sweets. He ran back into the kitchen and brought a glass too. I realized that he somehow wanted to do something for me. I felt sorry for him. ‘Do you want to help?’ He nodded. I drank the water and with all my feelings of sadness and weariness I said, ‘Your biggest help would be to talk to me. Just say one word. Say “Mum” . . . ’ I wiped the tears from my cheeks and started working on the dress again.
After a few moments I heard a soft voice filled with emotion, ‘Mum!’
My heart started to beat fast and I looked at him in disbelief. ‘What did you say? Was that you?’ I placed my hands on his shoulders. Tears began to flow down my face again and I begged, ‘Say it again, just one more time!’ The phone rang and made me jump. I was still laughing and crying when I picked it up. ‘Nasser, do you know what just happened? Shahaab just called me “Mum”! I swear it’s the truth. He has such a beautiful voice. He just said “Mum” out of the blue . . . Yes, I’ll be right over. Tell them not to serve supper till I get there to help. Yes, the dress is almost done. I’ll bring it over tomorrow. We’ll get dressed right away and come over.’
I took a quick shower and got dressed. I tied my wet hair in a knot and put on some light red lipstick. Shahaab looked at me with a sweet smile on his lips. My happiness always seemed to make him happy too, as if our souls were somehow tied together. I was so happy, I kept talking in a rush. ‘Thank God! I knew it. I knew there was nothing wrong with you. Now I’ll be redeemed in front of all of them, and they can stop their vicious gossip and innuendo.’
I grabbed his hand and proudly headed to Hossein’s house.