My heart sank as soon as the head said he wanted to talk to us about Shahaab. When Nasser and he started discussing whether my son was any trouble, I jumped in and said, ‘But I’m in touch with his teachers all the time! They say he’s a good boy and no one has ever complained about him.’
‘Yes, he’s a very good boy, but a bit shy. He hardly interacts with other children.’
‘Yes, I know. He’s always been this way. Actually he’s improved quite a lot.’
‘Really? Of course his shyness is understandable given his situation at home.’
Nasser sadly asked, ‘What situation? He’s not lacking for anything at home. We’ve spent our lives taking care of him. What more should we do? Do you know how many doctors we took him to for his lack of speech?’
‘I’m not speaking of material comforts. What I meant was being humane and affectionate.’
Nasser said, ‘Do you mean to say we haven’t treated him humanely? That we haven’t attended to him enough? His mother has spoilt him so much that no one in the family, including me, dares to criticize him for the slightest thing!’
‘Don’t be so angry – there is no need to become defensive, Mr Mokhtari. I have a lot of respect for you, but I wish you paid a bit more attention to his emotional well-being. I know you try to, but maybe sometimes unconsciously you favour your own children over him. Children are very sensitive and notice things we wouldn’t. I just thought it was my duty to inform you of this situation.’
Nasser and I both looked at the head, dumbfounded.
Nasser said, ‘Excuse me, but I don’t understand a word you’re saying. Did you say I favour my own children over him? What’s that supposed to mean?’
‘I apologize. I realize this must be a sensitive issue and you probably don’t like talking about it, but here at the school, we must know everything about the children in order to be able to help them better.’
‘Know what?’
‘Shahaab knows very well that he isn’t your child.’
Nasser turned red. He looked at the head in confusion.
I had a hunch about what had happened and said, ‘Has he said something?’
‘Yes.’
Nasser pursed his lips, turned to me and said, ‘What are they talking about?’
‘I don’t know exactly. I can guess, but I didn’t think Shahaab would take it as far as talking to other people about it.’
‘Take what as far? Tell me what’s going on here!’
But I still wasn’t sure. I turned to the head and asked, ‘Please repeat everything. How did you come to this conclusion?’
‘He told his teacher.’
Nasser was getting angrier and angrier. He said in a loud voice, ‘What are you saying, sir?’
In order to make him quieten down I said, ‘Sir, this man is my husband and the father of my three children, Arash, Shahaab, and Shadi. We don’t have an unusual family situation here. It’s not right for you to question us over something a kid says. Why didn’t you ask me yourself?’
The head mumbled, ‘We didn’t believe it either.’ He was lying. ‘That’s why we asked you to come here. The child claims that your husband is Arash’s father and not his. We thought we should discuss the issue with you. It is important that you’re aware of his feelings towards his parents and what he thinks about them. I will call his teacher in so she can explain everything.’
The deputy head, who was sitting on the other side of the room, no longer even pretended to be working. I felt we’d been called here to satisfy their curiosity more than anything else. Nasser was going crazy, and said, ‘He says I’m not his father?’
‘Unfortunately, yes.’
The door opened and the teacher walked in. Without greeting her I said abruptly, ‘Mrs Kamali, please tell us exactly what Shahaab said to you.’
She looked guilty and flustered, and said, ‘I wanted to meet you to see if you would agree to buy a present for Shahaab. You know, the school doesn’t have enough of a budget for these sorts of things. Parents usually buy the gifts and we hand them to the students during the morning register. I also wanted to ask your permission to sign him up for a special class. Shahaab has beautiful handwriting and I wanted to encourage him and have him train more. That’s all! I told him to ask his father to come to school and he said no. I insisted, and he said his mother would come instead. I was surprised because I remembered his father was very involved in school meetings when your elder son attended here. That’s why I wanted to meet him. I asked about his father again, and he said he didn’t have one. I said who’s the person who drops you off at school, and he said “That’s Arash’s father”!’
Nasser seemed to grow smaller with each word. He was hunched over in his chair. He angrily got up and said, ‘Get up! Let’s get out of here. I can’t stand it any longer!’ And he left the office.
I got up, picked up my handbag, turned to his teacher and the head, and said, ‘I’ll discuss this with you later.’ And followed Nasser outside.
Nasser felt terrible. He couldn’t control himself. He hurried into the car and said, ‘Did you know all this? Did he tell you too?’
‘No, not me. But he’d told Bibi. Now that I think about it, I can’t recall him ever calling you “Father”.’
‘What have you lot done to turn him so much against me?’
‘What have we done? Why don’t you examine yourself and see what you’ve done that has made him unable to see you as his father?’
‘What have I done? Actually what haven’t I done for him? I was so worried about him all these years. I spent so much money on him. I almost worked myself to death, saving enough money to take him abroad to be cured. And this is how he repays me. He does these things on purpose. He wants to humiliate me. He didn’t say a word and acted mute all that time. We tried everything to get him to talk, saw all sorts of specialists, but then realized he was just being stubborn! And now that he talks, this is the kind of rubbish he says! “You’re not my father.” To hell with him! I never wanted the bastard anyway. “My father is someone else.” Probably the man who found him that other time. Remember how he would hug him just to annoy me? I wished he would speak to me just once, call me “Father” just once.’ His voice broke and he turned his face away so I wouldn’t see his tears.
‘Nasser, he’s just a boy.’
‘Yes, but he’s my greatest enemy. No one can get on my nerves like he can.’
‘You have to try to understand him. You have to be patient with him. You have to try to find out why he thinks this way. Maybe you haven’t shown him enough affection. Don’t you think you were a bit inattentive towards him?’
‘No! Not at all! Our entire life was taken over by this child. We never had any problems with Arash or Shadi. All our thoughts and concerns have focused on him.’
‘It’s not such a big deal. He’s a kid and he said something silly.’
‘How can I not let it upset me? There are many kids who don’t have their fathers around, and they still claim them as fathers. Yet here I am, present in his life, working day and night to take care of him, to feed and clothe him, and he goes and says he doesn’t have a father! That I’m not his father! Can you imagine how that feels?’ And he started to cry again.